Maybe he’d been jealous? As far as she could remember he didn’t have a wife, nor did he have any large tract of land, and he had been forced to watch his elder brother marry a beautiful woman and be crowned King of the Realm all in the same year.
Regardless of how he’d been at their wedding, he didn’t seem all too different from Harold… meeting him wouldn’t prove to be too interesting. Nothing ever was.
“Ah, here he comes now…”
The voice filtered in through her thoughts and drew her gaze up towards the door. Despite her decision to remain impassive and her expectation to be let down she couldn’t help at least making a cursory inspection of the newcomer. After all the dismissal wouldn’t really be a dismissal if she didn’t first glance towards him before finding something far more interesting to look at amidst the cutlery and daintily folded napkins strewn about the table. Like how many times she could count the king’s sigil that was sewn into each white swath of cloth.
The family resemblance was striking and not in a good way. Instead of finding anything that stood out in Jeffrey all she found were comparisons. If his cheeks were puffier, then his face would hold the same sort of rotund shape her husband’s did. If his belt wasn’t so tight that it crinkled up his clothes at the waistline, the rounded shadow of his stomach would have shown more. His stature was taller and each step he took heavier in an unnecessarily masculine sort of way.
The only sort of satisfaction she took from his arrival was the frown on his face and how obvious he made his desire to be elsewhere. Being of such close relation to the king he could get away with the heavy sighs, the obnoxious scrape of chair legs, and the abrupt clank of carelessness. Each action holding an attitude that she found herself enjoying, almost as if she was living vicariously through him. Indeed, the more disruption he caused, even with as subtle as it was, the more her mood lifted the slightest bit.
Perhaps this meal wouldn’t be as droll as the others, perhaps there would be some entertainment, if only due to the simplicity of sibling rivalry.
“Lovely morning, is it not?” Her voice chimed in, clear as a bell and perhaps having the slightest hint of satisfied sarcasm. If she read his body language right, he was probably thinking that it was, in fact, not a ‘lovely’ morning. He was stuck there just like she was though.
The questioning statement dragged his attention to her and she found it caught on her. Due to long hours of practice, both in front of the mirror and with her erstwhile husband, she managed to keep the look on her face open, her eyes blinking and widening slightly as though she were raptly caught by his interest.
“I noticed a storm on the horizon.”
Oh, a clandestine disagreement. Maybe it was his attempt at polite conversation? Nonetheless she found her back straightening, whether because of the way he stared at her or his dismissal of her false cheer she didn’t know, but she felt irritation swell in her chest.
“I rather like the rain… it makes everything seem to dull down just a bit. Peaceful.” And it meant that there weren’t too many noises to bother her if she wanted peace and quiet. Harold got so very disagreeable, though. It meant he couldn’t go out and hunt. Oh the poor creature… The snide thought came unbidden into the forefront of her mind. “But perhaps it will disperse by the time your hunting parting departs, dearest?” She added the comment, hoping to curb some disappointment and attitude from her dear husband.
“It was on the horizon.” This time Jeffrey’s statement seemed more of a disagreement than the first. A dismissal of her own hope for rain, as though it was too far away to even be worth noting, despite that he had noted it the first time himself.
At least Jeffrey had an obstinate streak that made arguing possible. It was almost enough to pose a challenge, to have her wanting to commit to arguing with him. The problem was it was such a subtle challenge she would have to bide her time to answer to it.
The excitement in her life must have fallen quite far if she found herself snatching something so petty to focus on for the remainder of the day. Sadly, it was enough to bring life to her eyes and color to her cheeks, the sigils on each folded napkin went uncounted, because every utterance suddenly held the potential for true conversation.
“The wind will surely blow it off course then. A man will be posted outside to keep watch on the weather, as a precaution.”
Of course, because just by being watched the weather can be avoided. She wanted to cast her eyes to the ceiling and let a sigh slip free, but before she could feel self-restraint restrict her breathing too much Jeffrey shifted in his seat and set his glass down with a heavy clunk. The heavy sigh that fell from his lips so absolutely fraught with disappointment that it drew almost every eye to him.
“I cannot go… cold wind and so much activity would not do well for my health. There is already a cough plaguing me most nights, I have been advised to refrain from such activities. My utmost apologies, brother.”
Ah, it had been a ploy to get out of hunting. At last, a bit of cunning! Who knew how such nonsensical drivel about something as simple as the weather could lead to something somewhat interesting? She knew even before Harold spoke up that he was upset by the declaration. For a moment it was almost comical, the fake disappointment in not being able to participate versus the very real frustration at not knowing how to demand for Jeffrey to participate. The silence stretched taut between the two and then finally Harold cleared his throat, fidgeting with his fork and knife and finally setting them down on the table almost with a careful sense of intention. As though with that action he proved just how composed he was in the face of this... travesty.
“That is just too bad… I was looking forward to your company. It is not as though you visit often.”
Why Jeffrey would want to visit, she did not know, the look on his face barely kept from a sneer in answer to Harold’s comment. “Alas… something I will have to remedy.”
The tone of his voice declared the exact opposite. As though the meaning of the words themselves couldn’t hold a candle to the inflection of his voice. The utter distaste he had at being forced to socialize with family. For a moment, their frowns mirrored each other and then Harold stood up from the table, planting his soiled napkin down on his plate dismissively.
The utter lack of spine.
She was disappointed all over again. Could they not even fight, not even portray an entertaining glimpse into familial angst without Harold retreating? Without him giving ground and acting like he was still in full control of the situation?
Pathetic.
He was pathetic, in every way. She tried to stop the thoughts but they would not stop, the more she tried to hold them in the more dissatisfied she got. At least if Jeffrey was the king he would possess the intelligence to defend his desires. Which at this point, in comparison, was… admirable?
Her distaste was buried deep as Harold glanced over at her, instead of displaying her disappointment in him her eyes lifted up to catch on his and her expression was schooled perfectly into one of interest. The brilliant blue of them catching on the dull brown of his with a fervent intensity. An intensity he would not recognize or comprehend. She was smarter than the both of them, it was an epiphany. Every word that went unsaid, every action that lived and breathed through her still form, along with every complaint and distressed plea for more that remained silenced on her lips boiled down to that revelation. She should not be weighed down by his lacking.
No, she would not. She possessed what was necessary to change her fate. Maybe she had been closer to the edge of madness than she had thought, maybe her dissatisfaction had finally reached a peak where she could not suppress it any longer. She could not take it any longer, could not sit there docile, playing at his level of intelligence. It would drive her mad.
“Will you be leaving early, then? So as to beat the storm?”
There it was, her own brand of cunning. It was her own false admiration of his lack of cunning. Bolstering him up, pushing him away, and clearing a
path for her next action. And it was so genuine, because it was so refreshing, the motivation behind it. It had been in front of her this entire time, glaringly obvious even as out of reach as it had been. But with Jeffrey being here everything was so perfect. The rivalry between them, she could use that. What was it that Jeffrey disliked so about her husband? She needed to find out. To do so she needed some time alone with him. She had been so blinded by her own dislike, so desperate for another to display that frustration the way he had, that she hadn’t seen it as the opportunity it was.
At the very least, the very least perhaps she could encourage or instigate some true argument between them. Something of her own design, playing into what she’d learned of her husband’s habits and blundering reasoning. Something that would satisfy her somewhat. The inner voice inside her head that had cried treason was silenced by the sheer excitement she felt at such a prospect. It felt like the first true gasp of air she’d gotten in since her wedding day had sealed her fate to Harold’s.
“Perhaps I will leave early, get ahead of the storm…” Harold mused aloud as though it had been his own thought.
And get caught in it on the way back.
This time the thought leaped to the forefront of her mind and she welcomed it, welcomed the sharp desire of it, and accepted it for what it was. She would not do as he did, would not back down and retreat away from what she wanted any longer. She would not stand and leave this table without pushing for it, fighting for it. And there was quite a bit of fight in her once it could be awoken.
The purpose swelled in her breast, brought life back to her like sunlight gracing the petals of a half dead flower on a windowsill. She nodded, the action petite, every inch of her supportive of his decision and happy about it. Proud. Pride filled her, it straightened her fingers a little, had her shoulders going back. A smile grew on her face, a quiet sort of satisfied thing as her gaze turned to Jeffrey triumphantly. As though to share her approval for Harold’s decision with him, when in truth her eyes were locking onto him, locking with his dull gaze and capturing it.
Do you want me?
It remained unspoken, but it lingered fiery and forbidden in her mind and it was visible in her posture, it was a return of interest. An interest the poor man couldn’t hope to fathom. “Why, I imagine if you do so you might even return early.”
Harold jumped at it just as she knew he would, his desire for his brother’s company surpassing true logic. “We will feast on what we bring back for dinner on the morrow.”
“How marvelous!” She chimed in encouraging him.
“Jeffrey you will stay to enjoy the food. If we return early the cooks will easily have time to prepare it before your departure?”
Jeffrey may have been reluctant to spend any time with his brother before, but the way she had looked at him had crawled into his thoughts, taken root, and influenced him. His agreement was less than reluctant. She could hear an almost contemplative note in the “of course” that followed, as though the idea of something was slowly revealing itself in his mind. Which was perfect, it was just what she wanted to hear. She had caused that. Just like she had saved her sanity with self-inflicted tasks of counting and focusing on trivial things, this was the same. Only it was so much better.
It was the beginning of something.
She had started something she could not stop, rather she did not want it to stop. It made her giddy in a way she had never felt before. Suddenly everything was exciting, titillating. Just watching Harold prepare to leave, watching him walk out of the room, seeing the servants clear off his dishes, and standing up. It was surreal, like a dream. Fear had no place there. She felt the slightest breath of faintness with the way her heart pounded in her breast, tapping up lightly against the skin exposed by the neckline of her dress, but it did not make her clumsy. If anything it empowered her, imbued her natural beauty with something sublime and alluring.
Every glance towards Jeffrey caught his eyes, even as casual as it was it caused heat to suffuse her, making the material of her dress itch against her skin, her underclothes suddenly too thick and constricting. The support for her breasts too hard and crass for her soft body, with its wholesome curves and femininity. When she finally retreated, it was anything but a retreat. From the way she stood up and skirted around the seat she had been tucked into, to the way she strode for the hallway. It was all by design; every step, every sway of her hips, and every coy glance over her shoulder with that quizzical sort of curiosity. It was designed to get him to follow her and if she remembered anything about her wedding day, she remembered that most of his anger had been focused on everything his brother had that he did not.
Which had included her.
She would have to hope he was intelligent enough to recognize her invitation for what it was but dull enough that he would not realize the manipulation behind it. She would need to appear reluctant. Which meant that the only time she could encourage him to follow her was on that exit. After she’d left his sight it would be on him to search her out. Regardless how long that might take. And until then she would have to go about her day as though she was not hoping for it, not yearning to ply his mind and discern his hatred for his older sibling. Most of the day went by uneventfully, the most entertaining aspect of it watching the way light poked its fingers through the various windows she walked past and how it wriggled across the hard stone floors and crawled up the walls.
Anticipation took each task she set herself to and had her distracted. When she went to crochet, every woven thread of color came out crooked and uneven, and when she went to read she could not settle her mind long enough to draw in the meaning of the letters her mother had demanded she learn. Everything became a blur, moved past her in a way that left her behind. Left her in hallways, having stopped to stare out the nearby windows, lost in thought or looking down at whatever was in her hands without seeing it. She was… listless. It was the only way to describe it, the discontent moving through her in an ever easing disquiet that she could not shake.
Chapter 2
She found herself outside near the later part of the evening, soaking up the warmth. The heat bathing her dress as the sensation of warmth slowly soaked through it to brush enticingly against her skin. The different fragrances that the flowers put off and the budding trees scattered about the neatly kept garden touched into the air like perfume bottles left open and struck by sunlight. It was almost distracting enough to make her forget her plan, the time seemed to move past her like sand sinking between toes, barely discernable and yet ever moving. It had her casting off the conniving sort of evil intent she’d been imbued with earlier and feeling content for a fleeting moment. There was a plain stone bench with artistic engravings in the base of it that glowed faintly from the sunlight and she moved over to it slowly before sitting, brushing her fingers lightly against the stone.
What had come over her earlier, was she really so unsatisfied with her lot in life that she would stoop to such deviant plots. Her nail chipped lightly at the stone, lips pursing a little, and then the sound of heavy steps intruded into her moment of solitude. She found herself glancing towards the person who was approaching her and starting in surprise. Not a bit of it was fake, the way her pretty blue eyes widened was wholly genuine, the expectation for him to search her out had faded into a dim thought in the back of her mind. But there he was. Her surprise seemed to eat into his confidence and she saw his weight come to an awkward shuffling stop, his somewhat pudgy fingers brushing over his clothes as though straightening his appearance held the reason for him searching her out.
Oh, but she knew better.
Just like that the peaceful tranquility she’d been lost in was just gone, replaced with that itch that had her next breath just a little deeper, her bosom swelling as her heartbeat tapped lightly against her bare skin. The sunlight brought the perfect golden tone to every bit of skin that was outlined by the curving neckline of her dress. She felt it. She felt enticing, alluring, all things forbidden an
d she reveled in it. Why had she never attempted to play into her beauty before? It had never occurred to her. She’d seen the way men had looked at her, had seen the bumbling lust in her husband’s eyes. But it had never empowered her, not like this. It had been such a burden, a weight on her soul that bogged down every step, dragging her gaze down and tangling her happiness up until she felt like she would suffocate from it.
But this.
Oh, this was glorious.
“Lord Jeffrey! What a pleasant surprise… I figured I would enjoy the remnants of the sun before the storm settled over us.”
The poor fool didn’t quite know how to respond for a moment, but then he seemed to collect his thoughts. She watched avidly, as though he were an unbroken stallion recently moved to a new field, starting and tearing at the ground forcefully in reaction to everything new. There was the slightest chill to the air and every bit of breeze carried the soft kiss of true cold, the kind that would lift goosebumps up on one’s skin if it kept contact too long. But the sunlight fell through that, burning against everything it touched so intensely that she did not feel it necessary to comment on his earlier reluctance to be outside. In truth the concept of suggesting they go inside was lost completely to her, with how caught up in the moment she was.
“Ah, of course… one must seize an opportunity when given one…” He finally answered, the look in his eyes slightly confused and entirely uncertain of how to go about approaching her.
“Undoubtedly.” Her gaze lingered on his for a moment as the word left her lips, as though there was some double meaning to the statement. He himself was far too dense to grasp that though, she could see it in his expression. But that was okay because he seemed to be working towards articulating something or other, all she had to do was wait for him to say it.
“Do you mind if I sit here with you a moment?”
Romance: The Bad Boy Affair: A Second Chance Romance Page 86
