Dirty

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Dirty Page 61

by Ella Miles


  “You settled your body between my wide, open legs. I couldn’t move, I was so badly beaten. You kicked me rougher than Dante ever had. And then, just before you entered me, you realized you couldn’t have me watch. You couldn’t let me watch you hurt me. So you knocked me out.”

  I bite my lip to keep from talking. This is her time to talk, not mine. I will have a chance to tell my story.

  “And as I was slipping into unconsciousness, you started raping me. I didn’t even wake up until after the four other men had violated me. The only way I even knew that it had happened was because of the soreness and cum that kept dripping out of me. The additional bruises that my body earned, even though I was knocked out.”

  The green in her eyes turns red as she spits her words at me. “You may have thought you were compassionate. But not being awake, not being able to fight, not knowing who has violated my body, is worse than knowing. You are nothing but a coward!” Her voice breaks.

  I want to hold her, comfort her, but she doesn’t want that. She doesn’t need that. She is fully capable of taking care of herself. And me holding her, would only make things worse. But I need the comfort. I have to wait to get it though.

  I open my mouth, wanting to say words to make her feel better, but I’m not sure how to start so she will believe me. I’m not sure she will ever believe me.

  I decide right now isn’t the time to try.

  I get up off the bed while she is still shaking with her anger.

  I grab her favorite pajama pants and shirt and place it on the bed next to her. I walk over to my dresser and put on some boxer shorts and sweatpants.

  “What do you want for breakfast?”

  She doesn’t answer. Just stares at me with a gaping mouth at my balls to ask if she wants breakfast when I haven’t addressed her story. But I can’t tell my side of the story. Not without a lot of help.

  “I know you like french toast and eggs. I’ll make that and some coffee. Join me out on the balcony when you are ready.”

  I don’t wait for her to answer or yell at me. I walk out and head to the kitchen.

  Michi jumps to attention when he sees me. “I haven’t started the coffee yet, because I wasn’t sure when you’d awake. What should I make for breakfast?”

  “Take the day off, Michi.”

  “Sir, I would be happy to make you breakfast. I don’t need a day off—”

  I take a deep breath before speaking so that I don’t take all my anger and frustration out on him. “Take the day off, Michi. I am fully capable of making breakfast today, and you haven’t had a day off in months.”

  Michi stares at me a moment. I don’t think I’ve ever asked him to take a day off. He’s taken only a handful in all our years together. He’s like a father to me. He would do anything for me. And I know he sees the pain in my eyes right now. He wants to help me. But I won’t let him.

  Michi finally nods and then leaves me alone in the kitchen. I make coffee, french toast, and eggs. I pile everything up on plates and carry it outside. Gia hasn’t left the bedroom yet, and I don’t know if she’s going to or not. But this is the only way to earn her trust.

  I set the plates down at the table and then take one of the seats.

  The french doors open and Adela steps outside. “Did you make some for me too?”

  My lips thin. I want to talk to my sister, but I also want Gia out here. I nod, and Adela takes one of the seats behind a mound of french toast.

  Adela takes several bites of her breakfast while studying me. “I guess you aren’t going to tell me what last night and this morning was all about?”

  I shake my head. “You will find out soon enough.”

  She shrugs. And I know she already knows more than she is letting on. The walls in my house are thin, so she probably heard plenty of our conversations. And she is more skilled than I am at finding information when she puts her skills to use.

  I sit silently, watching Adela shovel in her breakfast.

  “You’ve gotten better at cooking, bro. This is almost edible.”

  I glare at her. “You seem to be eating it just fine. My cooking is as good as Michi’s.”

  She laughs. “No, it isn’t. You aren’t the best at everything.”

  I roll my eyes. I am the best at everything, but I’m not going to argue with my sister about it.

  The door slowly cracks open behind me, and my heart stills.

  Gia.

  I know without turning my head that it’s her. The only other person it could be is Michi, and he knows better than to come back after I gave him time off.

  Gia walks toward us. Her feet loud on the deck floor, it creaking below her steps, and then she takes a seat next to me, across from Adela, at the table.

  “I’ll let you two talk,” Adela says, winking at me.

  “Stay,” I say.

  Adela raises an eyebrow, but she eases back into her chair.

  I put a plate of food in front of Gia. “Eat. Then, we will talk.”

  I want her fed before I speak and she storms out without eating. Dante left her far too skinny.

  She rolls her eyes at me. “No, talk.”

  “No, not until you eat.”

  She pouts, sticking her bottom lip out roughly toward me.

  “I’ll eat while you talk.”

  I sigh. “Fine.”

  I wait until she has eaten a couple of good bites, and then I start.

  “Gia, this is Adela, my sister,” I say, gesturing toward Adela.

  Adela jumps in, like the good sister she is, and holds out her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, Gia. You are such an amazing woman, and I’ve heard so many great things about you. I’ve always wanted a sister. I know you aren’t exactly my sister, but I hope you don’t date this guy,” she says, pointing her thumb at me. “He’s a bit of an asshole, but you already know that. I’m just so happy to see a woman in his life at all.”

  Adela speaks without taking a breath. But Gia smiles as she shakes her hand.

  “It’s very nice to meet you too, Adela.”

  Gia lets go of Adela’s hand and turns to me with an evil grin on her face. She slaps me hard across the jaw.

  “You are worse than an asshole. You are a motherfucking jerk-bastard-man who deserves to get shot repeatedly in the leg every few weeks, just after you heal.”

  I nod. “Jerk-bastard-man?” I smile a little at her new nickname for me.

  “Yes, that’s what I said, and I stand by it.”

  She crosses her arms. “I can’t fucking believe you. You led me to believe you were going to hurt her. She’s your sister! I know you are a bastard, but I don’t think you would ever rape your sister.”

  Adela eyes me suspiciously.

  “Really, Adela?”

  She laughs. “No, I don’t have to worry about that. You would never rape any woman.” Adela glances between Gia and me, her smile faltering. “Wait! Did you rape Gia?”

  I turn from Adela to Gia. “That’s what we need your help with Adela.”

  “What? Did you rape her last night?”

  “No,” Gia and I both say in unison.

  Adela visibly relaxes in her chair, her body sinking into the wicker and cushions. “Thank God! If I had thought you would have actually have raped her last night, I would have never left you alone with her.”

  I shift my weight in my chair, not letting her know I almost did rape Gia. But Gia again saved herself. I’m not as good of a person as Adela thinks I am. I don’t deserve any of the affection Adela gives me.

  “How can I help then?” Adela asks.

  “Where was I last Tuesday?”

  Adela narrows her eyes. “What time?”

  “Three PM.”

  “You were running on the boring ass treadmill at the gym, twenty minutes from here on Ratonni street.”

  “How about last Sunday at ten AM?”

  “You were installing a security system in Milan.”

  “And how about three Saturdays ago at six
PM?”

  “You were getting a manicure.”

  Gia laughs at that.

  “Adela has a photographic memory. Everything she reads, sees, or hears, she remembers. It’s quite annoying, actually.” I give a dirty look to Adela, who laughs at me.

  “It’s true; I remember everything. My husband, Rodolfo, hates it. He never wins a fight.”

  Gia continues her careful laughing.

  “And how do you know everything about my schedule and daily life?”

  “Because it’s my job to know. I protect you. I work for you and so most of the time I’m with you, and when I’m not, I have access to all of the security. It’s my job to keep you safe.”

  I turn to Gia. “Satisfied she knows my whereabouts at all times?”

  Gia nods slowly.

  “Eat,” I command, looking at her still full plate.

  Gia lifts her fork and cuts off a bit, before sticking a bite in her mouth.

  “Tell Gia every time I was at Dante’s house while she was captive there.”

  “The first time was Tuesday, the second of May. You were there to install the security system. I was with you the entire time. I don’t trust Dante, and I thought he might try to backstab us. As soon as the system was installed, I was able to monitor every part of the house. Including you Gia…”

  Adela’s voice grows sad when she says she could see Gia. I’ve watched enough of the security feed of what Dante did to Gia to want to go over and strangle him with my bare hands, bring him back to life, shoot him, and then bring him back to life again and continue until he can’t survive any longer.

  “Any other times?” I ask, prodding Adela.

  “Yes, the day you rescued Gia.”

  Gia’s mouth falls a little. And I can see her un-chewed food in her mouth. It doesn’t make me stop wanting her.

  “Do you have any questions for Adela?” I ask Gia.

  Gia shakes her head, although I’m sure Gia will eventually have a million questions for Adela.

  “Adela, give Gia and me a few minutes alone.”

  Adela smiles sweetly and nods. “Of course.” Adela gets up and walks over to Gia, squeezing her in a comforting manner on the shoulder. Then Adela looks at me, and I know she is going to be listening to every word of our conversation. At least Gia doesn’t have to know that.

  I wait until Adela walks back inside.

  “I never raped you, Gia.”

  She looks up from her plate, staring at me like staring at me is the most important thing in her life. Like her life depends on finding my secrets.

  “I believe Adela. I believe she thinks she knows what you do at all times. But she can’t possibly know. You could have snuck away for a few minutes that day.”

  I nod. “I could have.”

  “So why would I believe you? Why would I believe you when you say you didn’t rape me?”

  “I’m not asking me to believe me. I’m asking you to believe yourself.”

  She bites her lip.

  “You already know it wasn’t me that raped you. You just said it was pretty great when I fucked you. Although, I’m sure it was far better than pretty great.”

  She blushes and sits back in her chair like she’s trying to hide.

  “Do you think if I had raped you, sex with me would have felt that amazing?”

  She doesn’t answer.

  “Do you think you would have wanted to have had sex with me if deep down you truly believed I had raped you?”

  Nothing.

  “Do you believe I’m capable of raping you?”

  She glances back up at me. “No, I don’t think you raped me. I don’t think you’ve raped anyone or are capable of rape.”

  My lips twitch. If she only knew the truth, she wouldn’t be saying I’m not capable. But as much as I wanted to, I never touched her without her permission.

  “I just can’t make sense of what I remember,” she says, staring down at her french toast again as she uses her fork to move the food around on her plate before taking a bite.

  “Is it possible it was another fantasy? That whoever was hurting you was too much for you? So you changed the image of the man hurting you to me, so it was easier for you to take?”

  She nods. “It’s possible.”

  “If you need, Adela can find the security tapes and try to find the tape of the rape you are talking about. If it will help.”

  She nods. “I’ll think about it.”

  I nod. I’m sure Adela has already scanned the images in her head and found the exact instance Gia told me about earlier.

  But it will be tough for Gia to watch. It was impossible for me to watch without punching the display.

  Gia finishes every bite of her breakfast, to my surprise. “This is better than Michi’s.” She pauses. “But don’t tell him I said that; he’d be crushed.”

  I chuckle. “Don’t worry, Michi will love you no matter if he finds out you prefer my cooking to his or not.”

  Gia’s eyes warm as she wipes her red lips with a napkin.

  “So what now?” she asks.

  I raise an eyebrow. “I’m not sure what you mean?”

  “When will you let me go? It’s clear you aren’t the monster you said you are. When will I be free?”

  I sigh. “I’m still the monster, Gia. Just not the same monster Dante is. You’ll figure out my darkness soon enough.”

  “When will I be free?”

  “Never.”

  Her hope drops. “Why? Why not just let me go?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “The why doesn’t change what is. You will never be free. So start finding ways to enjoy your life here with Michi, Adela, and me. You enjoy your books. We can get you more and—”

  “No, I am not your captive.”

  I smirk. “It seems like you are.”

  She crosses her arms stubbornly. “I won’t have sex with you again. You will have to rape me.” Her voice is defiant, but her eyes are half filled with lust. She can’t hold out. She needs sex with me as much as she needs air to breathe.

  I lean forward and sweep a hair off her face. She doesn’t move, but her eyes fill higher and higher until I know she is imagining me naked.

  “I think you can be persuaded."

  11

  Gia

  Caspian is so confusing.

  He’s sweet and charming. He’s menacing and a liar. He’s truthful. He’s every personality that has ever existed. And it turns me on and pisses me off at the same time. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I can’t live like this. I need to know what he wants with me, other than sex. The sex is amazing, but it won’t last. He will get bored with me. So why keep me forever?

  Above everything, he’s kinder than he thinks. He’s saved me more times than he realizes. I just wish I could break through his control and figure out what’s going on in his head. He’s so careful with what he tells me I think he could point back to always telling me the truth, but he’s clearly hiding something. A lot of things, actually.

  There is only one bad thing he’s ever really done. Denied me my freedom.

  I know now he never raped me. I trust his words. I trust Adela, even though I’m pretty sure I’ll want her to show me the video later. I need to know what happened to me when my mind was weakened. But after having sex with Caspian, I know he didn’t rape me. That’s one line I don’t believe he would cross. At least not with me.

  I haven’t moved from my chair on the balcony after Caspian left. I finished my coffee almost an hour ago, but I can’t bring myself to go inside and get another coffee. The warm sun is too cozy to leave, even for a minute. And when I go back inside, it means this is real. I’m his captive. He saved me to make me his.

  Forever.

  That’s the word he used. Forever.

  I just have to figure out to change forever to a month. I could use a month longer healing here. Hiding out from Dante where it’s safe, and fucking Caspian whenever I get a cha
nce. Then, when the month is up, I could seek my revenge. I’d be strong enough by then, and have Caspian out of my system.

  But then what? What life would I go back to? The aunt who doesn’t have a life of her own? Who has never had a life of her own? I’ll worry about that once I get out of here. First, I need to get Caspian to agree to my plan.

  I jump up, now that I have a plan. I can agree to all his darkest sexual fantasies, in agreement for him letting me go in one month. He won’t be able to resist. If I’m here any longer than that, I will just become a headache or a liability. At least that’s what I convince myself my argument is as I race inside his small cabin.

  I listen, trying to hear where he or Adela is. I look down at the couch that is now stretched into a bed where Adela must have slept. But I don’t see any other sign of her.

  I do smell coffee. I can’t resist getting another cup. I assume I will find Michi in the kitchen, but he’s gone. Adela or Caspian can’t be far away. Someone must have refreshed the coffee recently. I pour myself the steaming liquid gold and then walk through the house.

  It takes me all of two minutes to walk through the entire house. I will never understand why he has such a small house. He must have another house somewhere else. He might even have a family, a wife, children he is hiding from me.

  No one is in the house.

  I consider my next move. Could I run?

  My leg is mostly healed. Enough that I could walk, or even jog, for miles. No one is here to stop me.

  I know Caspian has a security system. Is one of his employees watching me right now?

  I sigh.

  I’ll try running if my plan fails. I’m safe. Caspian won’t hurt me. Dante doesn’t know I’m here. And I can keep having mind-blowing sex. My life could be worse at the moment.

  Still…

  I move to the front door and rest my hand on the door handle. What would happen if I opened the door?

  My pulse raises with anticipation. I bite my lip as I grin. I like playing devil’s advocate too much.

  I turn the knob, surprised the door even opens. And then I step out on the small porch of the cabin. Nothing happens. No alarms sound. No men come racing out of the bushes to pull me back inside. Maybe Caspian was lying about the security?

 

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