“Baby, I have never stopped wanting you.” She giggles softly and I close my eyes to take it in; I’ve missed the sounds of her.
I lay her carefully on the bed and I stop breathing at the sight of her. Long dark hair falls over the white silk sheets of the bed. She’s still wearing the same shirt and white shorts she had on earlier, but the closer I look, I can see the thin white cotton of her panties peeking out and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make me salivate.
Wake up Gavin! I chastise myself for standing here like a fool and not ripping her clothes off, but if she could see the images running through my head right now, she would be appalled.
I can’t help but smile at the way she watches me stalk towards her on the bed. Her mouth is slightly opened and her eyes are sweeping my body. Knowing that she wants me just as much as I want her is the driving force. Without taking my eyes off hers, I slide my hand up her leg. Goose bumps are forming as my hand lightly skims her inner thigh. Once my hand reaches her shorts, I become torn. Men have so many options when it comes to pleasing women and as my hand lingers just outside the hem of her shorts, my decision is made. I'll have my cake and I'll eat it too. My fingers will feel her warmth, my tongue will feel her warmth and my cock will finally feel her warmth again. I maneuver my hand under her shorts and panties. When my fingers find her flesh, I almost lose it right there. Circling her clit with my thumb, making sure my fingers are free to enter her soft, wet pussy. The moment they do her body tenses, and her eyes close as I continue to work her with my fingers.
I move up her body with small bites. The way her back arches high off the bed makes her hard nipples visible through her tight blue top. Encouraged by her reaction, I keep going until I hear “Gavin!” She screams out and I feel her tight pussy clamp down on my fingers as she comes undone.
Fuck! She didn’t even have to touch me and I came so fucking hard with her! That’s never happened to me. Not that coming once will stop me. As good as that was, the thought of how it will feel inside her has me hard as a rock before I can even start to remove my own clothes.
When I raise my shirt over my head Nicola mumbles softly, “You are a beautiful man Gavin.” Her eyes never leave my body.
I smile at the sentiment, “Not nearly as breathtaking as you.”
Nicola smiles in a way that makes my chest feel like it might burst. As I work at my pants, Nicola removes the rest of her clothes. The sight of her naked has every inch of my body at full attention. My mouth is pooling with saliva as I think about getting my first real taste. My mind is reeling inside my head as I try to decide what to do to her first. Then there’s my cock, harder than it's ever been and twitching at the thought of feeling her warm depths wrapped around it. She’s the only woman I’ve ever truly craved.
After a night like tonight, here we are about to get down to business. It’s almost like the Jason thing didn’t happen. Almost. Except it did. I’m not sure how I feel about it. With that one thought, I realize I'm thinking with my cock.
Guilt creeps in to the edges of my mind when I realize, rather willingly might I add, that I’m about to use her. Nicola must notice my internal battle because she stops staring, “What’s wrong Gavin? Did you change your mind?”
Having this conversation when we’re both naked and hot for each other wasn’t what I had planned, but now I’m confused. Not about wanting to fuck her. God knows I want to; so much it is physically painful. But I need answers. The more I think about it, the angrier I become, and out of nowhere I unleash the feelings that have been building inside me for the last six months.
“You’re the one who changes their mind without anyone's knowledge. Nicola, I need to know what you want from me.”
“What do you mean?” she asks innocently. It irritates the shit out of me that she can be so nonchalant about it.
“I mean, what’s next. Are we like glorified fuck buddies? If we are I’m down with that, as you can see.” I say while looking down at my cock. It's hardening more and turning the ache from before to a slow burn. But I continue, blocking out the obvious protest. “I’m done with the mind games, so I'm going to need you to spell it out for me.”
“Why do we need to define what we are right now?”
“Because your life may have been great these last six months but mine was far from it. I worried about you every second of every day. I spent months driving up and down every inch of that backroad town to find you. And the whole time you were working for my grandfather without my knowledge.”
“Gavin I didn’t know he was your grandfather. Trust me if I had, I wouldn’t have taken the job. It's such a small town. Everyone knows everyone, it wouldn’t have been too hard to find me if you really looked. Don’t act like such a victim Gavin.”
Shit, she hit the nail right on the head. How easy would it have been to ask? I have to face that I wasn’t ready to answer the question that would inevitably come next. Who is she to you?
Nicola stands up and dresses quickly. I can see tears burning behind her eyelids, and I want to talk to her and put her in her place about this. But she has a point. If I knew without a doubt in my heart she was the one, then why did I let her walk out of the bar that night? Why did I let her walk away from me? Why didn’t I hang missing persons posters all over town begging for any information? Maybe my feelings are all wrong. Maybe I don’t want Nicola. Maybe I just wanted to know why all along...
“Goodnight,” the door slams so hard I'm positive the windows quivered. I jump at the loud crack and am jarred from my thoughts.
I walk naked to the bed and fall into it as I feel myself being tugged into the memories of the shooting. They’re so quick I find it hard to focus on a single detail. I realize I don't want to focus on a single detail, so I rise from the bed and decide to look in the medicine cabinet for something to help me sleep.
Nicola
What the hell just happened back there? Hot tears are burning my eyes.
We were in the throes of passion when something flipped inside Gavin. His words didn’t hurt me. It was the way his brown eyes changed to black and filled with some form of dark emotion I don't think either of us were ready to face. That's what made me walk out that bedroom door in such a hurry.
I want more than anything to grab Allison and make another run for it, but this time I know I can’t. I'm trapped here. Where would we go? How the hell would we get there? I’m at someone else’s mercy, and I am not okay with that. Not again. What happens tomorrow if Gavin tells us to get out?
The fear of the unknown has my stomach in knots as I head down the hallway to the bedroom Allison and I are staying in. On my way, I look around the penthouse and notice everything I need to know. The family I met tonight was perfectly put together. Each of the ladies had beautifully manicured hands and their hair was done nicely; middle of the night and not one of them had a hair out of place. Sure, when they spoke to me they were friendly. That's what wealthy people do. Right? I know that’s what Jason did. Any time we were at a company party or dinner he floated through with ease. Shaking hands, making small talk, and offering drinks to those whose hand was empty. Everyone loved Jason, but I knew the real him. When I got into the car, I would hear all about the office gossip. His co-workers failures. Who he liked and didn't like. Who was sleeping with whom. No matter if I didn't care or didn't want to know, I had to listen.
Is that what his family is doing? Are they just putting on airs? Being nice because it's the right thing to do? Did his family talk to him about me while I walked to the bedroom with his mom and aunts? My mind is racing.
I hit the bed, groaning because I know I won’t be getting any sleep tonight. At least the whole night wasn't for nothing though; my daughter is safe and sleeping soundly in a big bed with me. For now, that’s enough.
Chapter 19
Gavin
The sound of a steady annoying beep goes off in the background.
“Gavin wake up sweetie.” My mom whispers into my ear.
But
I cannot wake up. What happened? I try to ask but I can’t even muster a mumble. I start to panic.
I hear footsteps followed by the sound of my father’s voice. “Any changes?” he asks. I can tell he's exhausted by the tone of his voice.
“No. Did you find Allison?” My mother questions. The sadness haunting her voice sends a deep chill through my body.
“No. And no leads.”
“What will we tell Gavin when he wakes? He'll blame himself.” My mom tells my dad, her voice trembling.
“We’ll tell him the truth, he didn't do his job. Now Nicola is dead and Allison probably is too.”
A searing pain enters my chest at a flashback of my being at Jason's mercy flashes before my eyes. Watching him point a gun at Nicola while he holds a screaming Allison tightly in his arms. It was a no win situation and no matter what, I could not save them. At least I couldn't save them both. I had to make a decision and try to save one of them, so I lunged toward Jason to grab Allison. A split second before I could reach him he fires the gun, hitting Nicola. She made no sound as she slumped to the floor. Her beautiful hazel eyes were locked onto mine as I watched the life fall away from them. I hope she could see the apology in my eyes, I make sure to memorize the curvature of her face but I take just a moment too long, and I feel a bullet pierce my back.
The crack of the bullet jolts me from my slumber. My heart feels as though it's pounding out of my chest.
It was only a dream. Only a dream. I chant to myself while wiping the sweat from my forehead. It's just a dream!
The pounding of my heart slows slightly, but not enough to ease the fear. I wipe the sweat off of my neck. Fuck man, I have two girls in this house that need to be protected. And I'm nowhere near the top of my game. I'm definitely not the man for the job. The second the sun rises I'll meet with my father and ask for his help.
I won't be getting any sleep tonight after that nightmare, but I can't stay in this penthouse another second. I walk to the fridge to grab something to drink, “shit,” empty. I pull on a shirt and grab my keys, we need some supplies and it’s a more than welcome distraction.
Nicola
My stupid bladder is about to burst but I'm afraid if I move I will wake Allison. I'm also not ready to come face to face with Gavin after the night we shared. So many thoughts and questions entered my head last night. He seemed so angry at me. So distant.
Not that I blame him. I hid everything from him. The girl he thought he liked didn't have kids and didn't come with the baggage or a batshit crazy ex-husband.
Dammit! It's time to be a big girl and get up. Eventually I must face the music so I might as well get it over with. And, big girls don't piss their panties. I throw the covers off me, climbing quietly out of the bed and dart to the bathroom, barely making it in time.
Once I'm finished I go back to peek in on Allison to make sure she's still asleep. Thankfully she is. She’s been through so much it wouldn't surprise me if she sleeps for a week.
I walk slowly to the living room, not sure of what I will find when I get there.
When I find the kitchen, I notice Gavin and one of the beautiful women I saw last night sitting at a small table. They are whispering softly, so I try to retreat quietly so I don't disturb them. She looks sympathetic, and he looks like hell and I mean literal hell. His hair is going in every direction and although it's messy, it makes him look even sexier. His dark eyes appear to be aged with worry. Just seeing him like this makes me feel bad because I'm certain I'm the cause.
The girl clears her throat to let Gavin know that I'm awake. Shit! Building up courage, I force myself to take a few steps forward and smile.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.” I apologize.
“You aren't interrupting. I was just leaving.” The girl says as she gets up from the table and starts heading to the door. Before she opens it, she calls over her shoulder “It's nice to meet you Nicola.”
Since I don't know her name, I respond the best I can. “It's nice meeting you too. You really don't need to rush out.”
She giggles a little bit before responding, “If you only knew my father. I'm sure he has half of Chicago looking for me.”
Since I'm not sure if she's joking, I just nod my head and smile. She has to be joking. Right? I'm not sure how old she is, but she looks like an adult.
The door closes and Gavin stands and walks towards the coffee maker. “Would you like some?”
“Sure, thank you.” I say and go to the seat the girl had just vacated. I'm used to serving people but never being served. It's making me uneasy. He asks if I want cream and sugar, and I want so badly to tell him I can do it myself, but I don't want a petty argument to start our morning.
Gavin sits the steaming cup of coffee in front of me and takes a seat. He doesn't say anything right away, so I decide to start talking.
“I'm sorry about yesterday. All of it. Including last night...” I want to pretend it didn’t happen, to move on to what’s really important right now, figuring out what me and Allison are going to do.
“I should be the one apologizing. Especially for last night.” he says, not looking up from his cup. I can tell he is barely holding himself together.
“No! Last night wasn't your fault. I was obviously using you as a distraction from the clusterfuck that is my life.”
“And I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you needed.”
This conversation is making me uncomfortable. I would rather be talking about all the other problems I am facing.
“Gavin?” I whisper suddenly scared.
The tone of my voice must concern him, because his eyes snap to mine. “Yes?”
“What am I going to do? I... I can't go back to Kentucky and I know I can't stay here. You were a cop. I'm sure you know of an abused women’s shelter that Allison and I can stay in until I'm able to find a job.”
Without warning Gavin slaps his hand on the table so hard that the coffee cups shake and splash onto the brown wooden tabletop and instinctively I jump out of my chair ready to run. I've never seen this type of quick anger from Gavin. Not only does it scare me, it shows me a glance of who he could truly be. Once again, a charming man has fooled me.
I turn quickly, visibly shaken by his outburst. I have to make my way to grab Allison. I have no idea where we are going, but it won't be here. Before I can exit the room I hear Gavin call out with a pleading, cracking tone in his voice, “You're not staying at a women's shelter! I didn't bring you all this way to Chicago to let you fend for yourself.”
“Yeah? Well I'd rather fend for myself than to wait around for the next punch to come.” I blurt out, my thoughts haunted by the only past I have known.
Gavin’s eyes immediately soften and he replies, “Do you really think so little of me? I would never lay a hand on any woman, especially not you.”
“I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know anything about you, and that's the only life I've known. I can't take chances Gavin. There is a little girl who depends on me to protect her.”
“Look, I'll leave if that makes you more comfortable. You and Allison can stay here by yourselves.”
I don't want to be in a shelter with Allison. But I don't want to be taken care of either. There has to be some sort of compromise. An even playing field. All I know right now is that I can’t think clearly in the state I'm in.
Gavin’s aggression scares me, but I believe him. It’s true, he has been nothing but kind to me. I’m not sure what smacking the table was all about, but I guess for now I have no choice but to play it by ear.
“We can talk about this more later. When things get settled. Before we decide on anything, I need to find a job.”
He nods that sexy head of his and his eyes meet mine. As awkward as it is, he has an undeniable effect on me. He stares for a split second, and then speaks. “My mom’s on her way over. She’ll give you a job.”
Chapter 20
Gavin
Mom just got here. She gives Nicol
a a hug like it’s been months since she met her. I decide to give them a little privacy. I don’t want Nicola to feel like I’m watching her every move. I walk into the kitchen and decide to make pancakes. Surely, Allison will wake soon, and I know she will be hungry.
This whole situation has me on edge. I didn't mean to scare Nicola earlier when I slapped the table, but I feel helpless and stuck in the middle of something I don't really want to be involved in. Yet, I can't leave them defenseless. I think what's really bothering me is as much as I try to ignore my feelings for Nicola, I just can't.
Realizing I need to calm myself, I take a deep breath and slowly let out a sigh. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of movement. A tiny blonde haired girl has removed the entire comforter from the bed and is dragging it with her. When she sees me, she pulls it tight to her chest, almost as though she is using it as a shield. In that moment, my heart breaks a little. What had she seen in her short years on this earth that brought those defense mechanisms to light.
I want to come across as non-threatening as possible, so I stay where I am. I smile as warmly as I can, and soft and slow I say, “Good morning Allison. Would you like some pancakes?”
She shakes her head no and slowly steps forward. “Where’s my mommy?” She asks insistently, with a small scared voice. The fact that she is so tiny and yet so brave speaks to the kind of mom Nicola is. This little girl is stronger than most adults I know.
I point to the other room and Allison takes off walking, never taking her eye off of me. Dragging that oversized comforter with her is keeping her walk slow and unsteady. It would be enough to cause me to smile, hell maybe even giggle, if not for the way she keeps glaring over her shoulder at me. That alone tells me she's trying to be brave, but I also see fear in those eyes. There is no way this little girl will trust me until she sees that her mother is safe.
Gavin (Made From Stone Book 2) Page 10
