by Layne, Lyssa
Katy put Nicky down for the night and walked into the living room where Nora was watching TV. Nora looked over at her and frowned as she pointed. “You’re wearing that?”
Katy glanced down. “What’s wrong with it?” She was wearing a fuchsia and gray sweater dress with black leggings and black heels.
“It’s New Year’s! That’s not very sexy.”
Katy kissed her forehead and told her, “I’m not going for sexy. I’ll be at Tiffany’s if you need anything.”
Nora nodded and rolled her eyes. “Got it. Happy New Year, Katy.”
Katy hoped this year would be happier than the last.
***
Tiffany was having a small get-together of about thirty people in her tiny two-bedroom apartment. Her friend had agreed with Nora that Katy’s outfit wasn’t sexy enough. As soon as she arrived, Tiffany ushered them to her bedroom, making Katy strip down.
“For God’s sake, Kit Kat, put yourself on display so you can have fun tonight!” Tiffany said with an exasperated sigh as she rummaged through her closet.
Katy sat on the bed and laughed. “I’m not looking to have ‘fun’ tonight, I just wanted to get out of the house. Besides, Jesse will be home soon and then I’ll have plenty of fun,” Katy said more trying to convince herself than her friend.
Tiffany turned to her and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, just try not to be boring tonight, okay?” Her friend held up a gold sequined mini-skirt and sheer, orange chiffon blouse. “This will be perfect!”
Katy scrunched up her nose at the outfit. Tiffany rolled her eyes again and threw the skirt on the bed. She pulled Katy’s arms up and started tugging the shirt over her head. Katy giggled at her friend and stood up. “I can dress myself!” she said with a laugh.
When Katy had the entire outfit on, Tiffany squealed. “Perfect! Now let’s go finish getting the bar ready.”
Katy and Tiffany weren’t exactly the same size, so Katy spent the entire night tugging her skirt down so her backside wasn’t exposed. She was pulling it down yet again when she felt a hand on hers. She looked up and smiled.
“I like it that way,” Jeremiah teased.
She laughed and hugged him, making the skirt ride up even more. “Happy New Year!”
“Can I be your New Year’s kiss?” he asked as he pecked her cheek.
She moved her arm around his waist and nodded. “Sure, why not.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tiffany looking over at her with a disapproving stare. She had assured her friend repeatedly that she and Jeremiah were over. Still, she knew Tiffany was protective and didn’t want to see her hurt again.
Despite Tiffany’s glare, Katy didn’t let go of Jeremiah. She’d been hit on all evening and was tired of thinking of excuses as to why she wasn’t available. If it wasn’t for the ball drop at midnight, she would have already headed home.
Jeremiah rubbed her arm and asked, “Survive Christmas?” They’d been on opposite shifts during the holiday season so they hadn’t gotten a chance to catch up.
“I did. I’m just glad it’s over for another year.”
He kissed the top of her head. “You’re strong, I know you can handle it.” He handed her a glass of wine. They clinked glasses, and both finished their drinks in just a few gulps.
Jeremiah stayed by her side the rest of the evening, fending off anyone drunk enough to make a move on her. They’d spent most of the evening trying to figure out who Tiffany’s mystery man was, but had no solid guesses. It was almost midnight and the New Year was about to be ushered in. Jeremiah went to the kitchen to get them champagne while Katy made her way through the crowd to the bathroom. She had just shut the door and turned to the mirror to check her make-up when the door swung open.
“Hey, I’m—” she stopped, seeing who was walking toward her. The door slammed closed, and he locked it behind him. Picking her up, he set her on the counter and planted his lips on hers. Katy put her hands on both sides of his face and kissed him passionately. With one hand he worked his zipper and with the other tugged on her skirt until his pants were at his knees and her skirt was around her hips. He moved her thong to the side slowly and slipped inside her. She groaned in pleasure, “Oooohh!”
This encouraged him and he began to pump quickly. Katy wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him in deeper. This time it was he who groaned. She smiled and pulsed her hips bouncing up and down.
“Evil,” he muttered with a smile and slowed to tease her.
Katy leaned her head back, closing her eyes, enjoying his long, even strokes. He tilted her head up to look at him, leaning his forehead against hers. He hesitated while their eyes connected then gave a few quick, hard pumps against her hips. She tightened around him and screamed her gratification, knowing the party was so loud no one would hear. He waited for her to finish, then climaxed deep inside her.
They held each other, both of them panting, trying to catch their breath. He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her softly. Katy smiled and squeezed her legs, pulling him in deeper.
“I told you I’d be back. I love you, Kate. You and Nicky are my world.”
Katy’s breath was coming back to her as she nodded. “I know, Jesse, I know.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Two days after Tiffany’s party, Katy was pacing back and forth when Tiffany came running in.
“What’s wrong? I got your page.”
Katy had sent her a 911 page to meet her in the doctors’ lounge.
“I’m having sex with Jesse.”
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Yeah, we all saw that coming…”
Katy shook her head. “We didn’t use a condom...on New Year’s.”
“At my place?”
Katy narrowed her eyes. “Yes, at your place and we weren’t the only ones. Did you see those two dancing in the middle of the room?”
“Yeah, that was the girl from my gym and our trainer. God, I hope they used a condom. Oh no! How many babies do you think were conceived at my party?”
“Tiff! This is serious!”
Tiffany laughed and walked over to her friend, putting her arm around her shoulders. “You’ve had a kid before. You’ll know what to do.”
Katy shrugged her off. “Never mind.”
Tiffany sighed. “Okay, I get why you’re upset. It was one time without a condom, right?”
Katy nodded. “But it was only two nights with Nick without one and—”
“And you have a precious little boy.”
Katy sighed. Tiffany was right. She was stressing out for no reason. Besides, her period wasn’t due for another week, so she shouldn’t worry until she was actually late. She hugged her best friend, who always knew how to make everything better. When Katy pulled away, she asked, “Was your mystery man at the party?”
Tiffany nodded.
“When do I get to meet him?”
Tiffany stood up quickly. “When the time is right. Now come on, we need to get you some food for that potential bun in there.” She teased and patted Katy’s stomach.
Katy swatted her friend’s hand away, hoping she wasn’t right.
***
A week and a half flew by and there was no period. Katy lay on her side of the bed, fidgeting with her wedding ring while Jesse browsed Facebook on his phone. Without looking at her, he reached over and grabbed her hand.
“Gonna tell me what’s wrong or make me guess?”
“You going to tell me where you went after Christmas?” Jesse and Katy had reconciled physically, but he still hadn’t told her where he’d disappeared to. Katy didn’t think that it was another woman, but she was upset he wouldn’t tell her the truth.
He sighed and set his phone down. “Fine. I’ll tell you if you tell me.”
She nodded. “You first.”
“The Chief’s mom is sick. He needed some of us to help sit with her while he was visiting other family.”
Katy looked at him blankly. “So you stayed with the Chief’s mom the entire
week?”
“Off and on, I’d work a tour then go stay with her. She lives over on the island.”
Katy wasn’t sure she believed his story, but she had to get the weight of her worry off her shoulders. She took a deep breath and then blurted out her news. “I might be pregnant.”
Jesse’s mouth dropped as he comprehended her words. “Wh...wh-what?”
She bit her lip, then repeated, “I might be pregnant.”
Jesse subconsciously moved his hand to her stomach. “But how? We’ve always been careful and used a condom.”
Katy glanced down at his hand. “You might recall New Year’s when you had your pants down and my skirt up before you could even say hello.”
Jesse sat paralyzed by the news but he tried to stay calm and play it cool. “Well, it was only once so what are the odds?”
“I’m four days late. I got pregnant with Nicky exactly two years ago on New Year’s. It was only the second time Nick and I had sex without a condom so I’m guessing the odds are pretty high.”
Jesse nodded, rubbing her stomach without realizing it. “Well, how do you feel about it?”
She shrugged and said with a laugh, “I guess this is one way to let everyone know we’re together.”
He shook his head. “I don’t care about everyone else. How do you feel? Do you want more kids? Do you want kids with me?”
Katy bit her lip, trying not to cry. She had never really thought about kids until Nick came along. He wanted a big family and she had promised him a whole house full of babies. Now that he was gone, kids fell off her radar again until this moment.
Jesse kissed her softly. “I only want what you want.”
Katy swallowed the lump in her throat. “You’re a great father.”
Shocked, he questioned, “I am?”
She nodded and said, “I’ve been working with Nicky to call you Da da.”
Jesse smiled. “He did...on Christmas morning. I thought you’d be upset since I’m not…”
“You’re not his biological father, but you love him like a father. Nick can’t be here to raise him with me and you’ve done a great job helping me figure it out. I love how you help me keep his memory alive with Nicky. It doesn’t matter that you’re not his biological dad, he’ll know who he is, too.”
A tear fell out of Jesse’s eye. She had never seen him cry before, not even at Nick’s funeral. Katy kissed it away. Jesse asked again, “So how do you feel about it?”
She inhaled deeply. “The same as I did with Nicky, it’s not the ideal time, but if it makes you happy, then I am too.”
There had been a time in his life that he feared being a father and having kids. Jesse had never thought about raising a family before Nicky. Even after he moved in and fell into this father role, he still hadn’t thought about having more of his own. He lay next to Katy with his hand on her belly and wished more than anything that his child was in there.
***
Jesse was daydreaming about a pregnant Katy. He would pamper her the entire pregnancy, rub her feet, get her pickles and ice cream, never let her lift a finger. He desperately wanted to be in the delivery room with her and have a totally different experience than the first time they were there together. He pictured himself roughhousing with the boys, teaching them the FDNY trade, and showing them how to treat women, unlike he had during his bachelor days.
He would wait until she took the pregnancy test before telling anyone at the station. He knew there would be a big fallout, but hopefully, Murph and the Chief would have his back. He knew about the “rule” but how could they expect him to move in to take care of their fallen brother’s family and not fall in love with her? He’d probably be stuck on proby duty for a while, but they’d get over it, and besides, transferring wasn’t an option.
“Hello, earth to O’Neil!” Murph was waving his hands in front of Jesse’s face to get his attention.
Jesse looked at him, blinking. “Sorry, my mind was somewhere else.” Jesse shut his locker and looked at Murph. “What’s up?”
“Geez, you’re acting like a chick over there. Daydreaming and everything.”
Jesse laughed and apologized, “Sorry, Murph. A lot on my mind these days.”
“Yeah? What about?”
“Women. What else?” Jesse tried to play it off.
“Oh brother. You planning your wedding over there?”
Jesse stopped as he said that. Wedding. If Katy was pregnant, should he ask her to marry him? Would she even say yes? It’d been over a year since Nick died and she still wore her wedding ring.
“Geez, I guess you are,” Murph said when he didn’t answer. “I hear Pinterest is great for that sort of thing.”
Jesse shook his head and laughed. “Me? Married? Yeah, that’ll be the day.”
“So who is it?”
“You don’t know her.”
Murph walked closer to him, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was around. He lowered his voice as he said, “Do I really not know her or you just want me to think that I don’t?”
Jesse raised his eyebrow, trying to call his bluff, but Murph didn’t take the bait.
“You live with Garrity’s widow. She’s smart, kind, hot. I get it, I really do, but you know the rule. The way you two act is questionable and it’s making some of the guys talk.”
Jesse clenched his fist trying to not react to Murph’s accusation. “The rules are contradictory. I’m told I have to give up my life to take care of her, but she’s untouchable? Explain that to me.” Jesse turned to walk out of the room not waiting for an explanation.
“I didn’t say it was right,” Jesse heard Murph mumbled. He smiled and knew Murph would have his back.
***
The crew was all at O’Malley’s celebrating what would have been Nick’s thirty-second birthday. Katy had joined them after her shift at the hospital. When she arrived, Jesse thought she was glowing. She had a big smile on her face and walked over to Jesse kissing his cheek hello. She’d whispered in his ear, “Good news.”
Jesse watched as the guys stared at them when she did this. Murph started telling a joke to distract everyone. When the crew looked away, Jesse slid his arm around Katy’s waist giving her a quick squeeze and let go before they noticed.
She made her way around the table saying hello to everyone. Jesse sipped on his beer, admiring her from afar. Out of the corner of his eye, he recognized the girl he’d danced with the last time he was here with Murph. He tried to think of her name, Laura, Lily. She started making her way toward him. Shit! He glanced over at Katy who wasn’t paying attention. Trying to divert the blonde, he got up and made his way to the bar. Glancing over his shoulder, he gave the bartender his order. He didn’t see the leggy woman but when he turned back around, she was standing next to him with a grin on her face.
“Hey there, Fireman,” she said and ran her finger down his chest.
“Hey…” He still couldn’t think of her name. “How’ve you been?”
“Better now that I see you.” She tugged at his belt loop and asked, “How’s that family of yours?”
He smiled. “They’re great.”
He glanced over at Katy and his smile disappeared when he saw her taking a shot with Murph. She was a doctor so she had to know better than to drink while….He shook his head, she wasn’t pregnant. He looked back at the woman next to him.
“Why don’t I buy you a drink and you can hang out with my friends and me?”
***
Katy had put off taking a pregnancy test. She wasn’t sure how she would react if it was positive. She definitely wasn’t going to take it today. Two years ago, on Nick’s thirtieth birthday, a pink plus sign told her she was pregnant with Nicky. She wasn’t going to spend his birthday the same way this year, especially if it meant she was carrying someone else’s child.
She had been called in to work for an emergency cardio graph. She was about to wrap up the surgery when she started feeling tight cramps in her lower abdome
n. Despite the random tinges of pain, she smiled because she knew it meant her period was coming. As soon as she’d closed her patient and scrubbed out, she ran to the bathroom and hadn’t been happier to see Aunt Flo than at that moment. She was going to call Jesse but figured she’d tell him in person. She knew he’d be relieved.
When she’d arrived, there wasn’t any way to talk without the others seeing. The crew had been watching the two of them like a hawks. She figured she’d grab a drink and he’d get the idea. She finished taking a shot with Murph and looked around for him. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her. She saw him walking back to the table, a beer in one hand, his other arm around a woman.
She was probably in her early twenties, almost a decade younger than him. She was a curvy blonde, which had always been Jesse’s type. As they neared the table, Katy raised her eyebrow at him, to which he just shrugged. She could feel the blood rushing to her face and she excused herself, heading to the ladies’ room.
She splashed water on her face, fighting the tears that were pricking at her eyes. Apparently, they were a couple behind closed doors, but out in the real world, she meant nothing to him. She had been potentially pregnant with his child. She shook her head. How was she so stupid to think they could actually be a couple and have a kid together? She dried her face, deciding she’d tell him to move out tomorrow.
She opened the door and almost ran into Jesse, who was pacing outside. He pulled her down the hallway where their friends couldn’t see them. He leaned down and planted his lips on hers. At first she kissed back, then she quickly pulled back and pushed him away.
He grinned and commented, “I guess you’re not pregnant?”
She shook her head. “I guess I don’t mean anything to you outside of the house?”
She tried to move around him but he blocked her in the corner. He put his hands on her waist.
“What? Of course you do.”
