by Layne, Lyssa
He let go of his shirt and shoved him to the ground. Andy and Abby had come over when Jesse had raised his voice. Abby ran to Anthony’s side, helping him up. Jesse and Andy locked eyes as he walked past him to the truck.
Climbing into his truck, Jesse turned it on and cranked up the music. He needed to get away from that punk before things turned ugly. He backed out of the driveway and saw Andy grinning at him.
***
As soon as the bathroom door closed, Alayna flung herself at Katy and broke out in sobs. Katy patted her back, not understanding any words coming out of her mouth. Katy let her niece cry for a few minutes then pulled her back and looked in her eyes.
“Alayna, I don’t know what you’re saying. You have to calm down.”
Alayna tried to stop crying, taking long gulps of air in between the tears. Katy rubbed her arm as the tears slowly stopped.
“Okay, now tell me what’s going on.”
Tears filled the teen’s eyes again as she blurted out, “I think I’m pregnant,” and the sobs started all over. Katy stood completely still as she heard the words. She joined Alayna with the tears. Ten minutes later, they’d both stopped crying. Sitting on the bathroom floor, Katy moved her arm around Alayna’s shoulders.
“So why do you think...this?” Katy couldn’t bring herself to say the word in regards to her niece.
“My period is a couple weeks late,” Alayna answered as she wiped her eyes.
Katy nodded. “There a variety of reasons you could be late. You’ve been using protection, right?”
Alayna wouldn’t look Katy in the eyes. The doctor reached over and grabbed her chin making her look at her as her niece fought to make eye contact.
“Alayna!” Katy said exasperated.
“What do I do?”
Katy took a deep breath as her phone beeped with a text message. She looked at her phone to read it.
Needed to leave. Be back in an hour to pick you up. Love-J
Katy texted as she answered Alayna. “First, we find out if you are.”
***
Jesse had almost calmed down from his encounter with Anthony when he got Katy’s text. He was driving so he didn’t check it immediately. He cranked up AC/DC on the radio drowning out the words Anthony spoke. At the next stoplight, he checked his phone. His jaw dropped and his pulse raced at the same time. Her text read, Bring back a pregnancy test.
He looked around trying to figure out the closest place to buy one. How could she be pregnant? They’d been extra cautious since the scare. He felt a grin creep over his face as he pictured her pregnant with his baby. Their family was going to be bigger than they realized soon enough.
He pulled into a drug store parking lot and ran inside. Katy had only asked for one, but not knowing the difference among the variety of brands, he picked up four tests. He set them down at the register and pulled out some cash to pay. He was too busy planning their future in his mind to look at the cashier.
“Jesse O’Neil, I hope these tests aren’t for different girls.”
He looked up and saw Camille Nester, one of his mother’s friends from church. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, trying to play it cool.
“Ms. Camille, you look younger every time I see you.”
She smiled proudly and whispered, “It’s my face cream, keeps my skin young and fresh.”
Jesse laid on the smooth talk. “Well, you don’t look a day over eighteen.”
Camille laughed and thanked him. He paid, hoping he was going to get out of there without any more grief. She handed him the bag and winked. “Your mother will be one happy grandma.”
Jesse turned quickly running for his truck. Sitting in the cab of his truck, he rubbed his temples. He hadn’t told his parents about his relationship with Katy yet. He needed to get all these secrets off his chest before his head exploded.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jesse rushed back to Abby’s house, anxious for Katy to take the pregnancy test. When he arrived, he saw that the Tahoe was gone. As he parked his truck and headed inside, Andy looked up from the flower bed.
“I lost all my helpers.”
“What? Anthony didn’t want to stay?” Jesse mocked.
He grinned. “I’ll thank you later when Abby’s not around.”
Jesse smiled. “Not needed.”
He walked closer to Andy. He was in the mood to get things off his chest. “You know I love her, right?”
Andy nodded. “I do and I think this is what Nick would want.”
Jesse shook Mr. Garrity’s hand. “I have to find Katy then I’ll be back to help finish up.”
Andy nodded as Nora walked outside. Jesse passed her as she sat on the front steps. He laughed when he heard her ask, “Papa, do you think Anthony loves my mom or just the sex?”
He would’ve loved to stick around for that conversation, but he had a potentially pregnant woman to tend to. He ran up the stairs taking them two at a time. He knocked softly on the door and whispered, “Katy?”
The door swung open and Katy stuck her head out. She looked up and down the hall. “Did you get what I asked for?”
He grinned. “Yep, but why are we doing it here and not at home?”
She frowned. “We?”
His grin faded. “Well, I thought I could be with you...or not.”
“Oh, no!” She kissed him quickly taking the bag. “It’s not for me.”
His face dropped and Katy was confused. “You didn’t really think it was me? I mean, we’re overly protective.”
He nodded, looking down trying to hide his disappointment. “I know, but I guess I just hoped...”
She grabbed his shirt, pulled him to her and gave him a quick, yet passionate kiss on the lips. “One day, okay? I promise.”
He kissed her softly and headed back downstairs to help Andy.
***
It was the longest five minutes Katy could ever remember. Alayna chewed her nails while Katy paced back and forth. The younger girl would try to ask questions, but Katy would stop her, telling her they needed confirmation before trying to figure out what to do.
The timer on Alayna’s phone went off signifying that the wait was over. Katy and Alayna looked at each other then Alayna reached down to look at the test. She read it and handed it to Katy. Staring back at her was a big pink plus sign. Katy sat on the edge of the bathtub while Alayna started to cry again.
“Have you told your mom you’re having sex?”
Alayna shook her head no.
“Well, you’re going to have to now.”
Alayna sniffled. “Not today, please, not today. I don’t want to ruin Mother’s Day.”
Katy nodded. “Fine, but you come to the hospital first thing on Monday so we can start prenatal treatments. Understand?”
Alayna nodded and hugged her. Katy held her tight as she tried sorting her thoughts. This whole time, Abby had been sleeping with Anthony and didn’t notice her fourteen-year-old was the one using all of her condoms. Well, maybe not all of them...
Three years ago, Tiffany and Jeremiah were all the family Katy had. Today, her family seemed to be growing faster than she could keep up.
***
Katy and Jesse rode to his parents’ house in silence. She could tell he was upset, but didn’t exactly understand why. When she rubbed his leg softly, she got no reaction. She slid her hand between his legs, rubbing him, but he reached down and moved her hand away.
She sighed and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Maybe for the second time in five months, I thought we were going to have a baby.”
“Okay, I apologize about today. I was in a hurry and distracted. I didn’t know it would bother you so much.”
Jesse slammed on the brakes and pulled to the side of the road. Katy jolted forward against the seatbelt and looked at him surprised.
“Katy Garrity, I have to know where you stand. Do you want a future with me? Kids, marriage, the whole thing? If you’re stringing me along, I need t
o know now.”
“Jesse, how many times have I told you I love you?”
“No, Katy,” he said as he shook his head. “Telling me you love me and seeing a future with me are two different things. If you don’t want a future together, then…”
“Then what?” Katy urged him to go on, knowing he was about to give her an ultimatum.
He shook his head and pulled back onto the road. “Then nothing.”
***
There hadn’t been much discussion of anything else after their conversation. Once they got home, Katy put Nicky to bed. When she walked into their bedroom, Jesse was shoving clothes into a duffle bag.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t know…” Jesse zipped up his bag. “I need to get away, to think. Figure things out.”
Katy crossed her arms, surprised by his actions. “So one little miscommunication and you’re going to run? Who’s the one who can’t commit to the future?”
He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed holding his hands out to her. She walked over and he pulled her in his lap. He rubbed her leg not knowing where to start.
“There’s just a lot of shit going on right now. I need to take care of it. Then I’ll 100% be fully committed to our family...a new house, another baby, marriage if you want.” He kissed her hand. “Please don’t ask questions, just let me have a week and I’ll explain everything when I get back.”
She hugged him, cradling his face against her chest. A pain shot through her heart but she didn’t object. She didn’t want him to leave, but understood if he had to. She’d already made him give up so much, she could give him this one thing.
When they were both standing, she stood on her tippy toes to kiss him. He gingerly pressed his lips against hers and whispered, “I love you.” Then he turned quickly and left her standing alone in their bedroom. She sighed and wondered what the future held for them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Katy rocked a screaming Nicky in her arms at two in the morning. She was exhausted, not just from work, but from being a single parent. Jesse’s week had turned into three and Nicky wasn’t adjusting well to not having him around. She spent most of her nights off with Nicky crying for “Da da da.” During the day, he searched every nook and cranny of the house for Jesse, even standing at the garage door pointing outside and saying, “Truck.”
It broke what was left of her heart to see her son so upset and her patience was wearing thin with Jesse’s absence. He’d checked in with her daily, sometimes a phone call, other times a short text, but he hadn’t stopped by the house to see them the entire time he’d been gone. She knew he’d been in town because he was still working. She hadn’t been to the firehouse since Nick was alive, but she was debating taking Nicky there tomorrow. Maybe that would help his anxiety.
About an hour later, they had both dozed off in the glider when her phone beeped with a text. She didn’t recognize the number, but as soon as she read it, she knew exactly who it was from.
Saw your man out tonight, he was having a really good time with blondie. Hope you and your son are doing well.
There was a picture attached. Katy debated opening it, her finger hovering over the button. Nicky moved slightly, bumping her to touch her phone instantly and opening the image. It was Jesse on the dance floor with the blonde Missey mentioned. Tears sprung to her eyes and she felt that familiar, unwelcome sensation of the world dropping out from beneath her.
***
Katy hadn’t been able to fall back asleep. Shortly after breakfast, she loaded Nicky into his car seat and drove across town. Taking a deep breath, she and Nicky walked into Firehouse 58. Murph saw her first and called out, “Lil’ Mama Garrity!”
He walked over to give her a hug and say hello to Nicky. Katy scanned the garage for Jesse and saw Patrick Doyle scurry out of the room. Her husband was dead because of him and she fought the anger beginning to rise within her. The same anger she felt toward Nick after he left her, the anger that she finally had overcome until just now.
“Hey guys!” Jesse came over and kissed her cheek taking Nicky from her. The toddler bounced up and down excitedly in his arms.
“He’s missed you,” Katy said in a low voice.
Jesse didn’t make eye contact with her as he replied, “I’ve missed him, too.”
Katy looked around and saw the guys had cleared out to give them privacy.
“No, he’s missing you as in he’s up all night crying for you and when he’s awake, he’s looking all over for you.”
Jesse frowned and glanced at her. “I’m sorry.” He kissed the toddler and took Katy’s hand. “Things haven’t worked out the way I thought they would.”
Katy huffed and mumbled, “Yeah, I’d say.”
She turned to go talk to the crew, but Jesse held on to her. He whirled her around to look at him and said, “I’m not doing this on purpose. Believe me, I’d rather be home with you two and I will as soon as I can.”
Katy looked down, trying not to bite her lip. He smiled and teased, “Don’t do it. If you do, I’ll have to take you to the bunk room and tell the guys to stay out.”
She laughed, relaxing a little and remembered how much she missed Jesse’s playfulness. “Promise?”
He kissed her passionately then whispered, “Try me.”
***
Katy hooked her bra as she watched Jesse pull on his bunker gear. She smiled as he walked over to her. It’d been a long three weeks and it’d been obvious they both needed what just happened. He knelt between her legs, looking up at her. He hated lying to her, but things had fallen apart. The court date had fallen through and hadn’t been reset until this week. One more week, that’s all he needed, one more week.
He felt like such a dick for the way he’d been treating her, but he was in a foul mood and he knew he needed to stay away. He didn’t want to take anything out on her or Nicky so he’d been crashing at Murph’s place in between work and driving back and forth to court.
He smiled as he helped her with her bra. He kissed her again, but stopped abruptly knowing if he didn’t, they’d be going again for round two. He laid his head on her chest and wrapped his hands around her waist hugging her close. She kissed his forehead and ran her fingers through his hair. She took a deep breath and Jesse looked up at her.
“I heard you had a good time last night.”
Jesse frowned. Murph and the guys had talked him into going to O’Malley’s for a drink. He’d decided to drown his problems in whiskey and ran into his old friend, the perky blonde Leah. They’d danced all night, but she didn’t let him get away as easily as she had the first time. She’d jumped into his truck before he could tell her no.
She’d made small talk, teasing him with kisses on his neck and chin, distracting him from her hand unzipping his jeans. She was making long hard strokes to his manhood before he realized what was going on. He immediately stopped her and sent her on her way, leaving him with a massive erection he had to finish himself. Nothing had happened and he hadn’t planned on telling Katy, as it would only cause unneeded problems.
“Yeah, went out for a drink with the guys.”
Now it was Jesse’s turn to distract his prey. He placed small kisses, finishing each with a slight lick along her collarbone.
“And the blonde? Same one from the time we went out?”
He shrugged and answered, “I think so.” He slipped her bra strap off her shoulder then moved his mouth to her breast.
Katy leaned back on her arms, letting his mouth work magic. “Anything happen?”
Jesse flicked his tongue across her nipple, debating how to answer. She let him play for a few seconds then pulled his chin up to look at her.
“We messed around a little, but nothing worth mentioning.”
Katy pushed him away, standing up quickly and adjusting her bra. Jesse sighed and tried to defend himself. “I was wasted. I had no idea what was going on.”
She pulled on her shirt. “So you have time to get
drunk with the guys and mess around with another woman, but you can’t come home to us? Your ‘family?’” She used air quotes around the word family.
Jesse looked down. “Come on, Kate, give me the benefit of the doubt. I did with you and Jeremiah.”
“We kissed! We didn’t mess around, whatever that means!”
Jesse had never really seen Katy upset with him, her face was crimson and he could see a small vein in her forehead. He reached for her waist, but she turned around and shoved him.
“We’re going out of town Father’s Day weekend. Come get your stuff out then.”
“What?? Kate, you’re overreacting!”
He ran after her as she fled downstairs to the garage. The other firefighters ceased their conversation and moved their eyes to the commotion coming down the stairs. Katy grabbed Nicky from Murph and ran out of the firehouse without saying goodbye to anyone. Jesse caught up with her as she was strapping Nicky into his car seat. He spun her around to look at him.
“Kate, I love you.”
She shook her head. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
“We didn’t have sex.”
“No, then what?”
“Come on, let it go. I want you, I want to be with you.”
“Was it more than a kiss?”
Jesse didn’t respond. Katy had her answer, she sidestepped him and opened the driver door. She looked up at him again. “I don’t want you around Nicky, it’ll only be harder and more confusing for him if you’re there.”
She was serious. She wanted him out of both of their lives. All he was trying to do was make his family whole, but it had backfired on him.
***
Katy drove straight to Tiffany’s. She pounded on the door with tears streaming down her face. She bounced Nicky up and down on her hip waiting for her friend to answer. She knew she was home, she’d seen her car in the parking lot. She was about to call her when the door finally opened and Tiffany stuck her head out.
