by Layne, Lyssa
I shrugged. “No. I paint all the time. Sooner or later all of my clothes wind up on my body while I’m doing so. It’s just how it goes. They’re only clothes, and I care more about the furniture than I do about whether or not I get paint on my dress.”
He sighed loudly. “Alright, for the sake of my face and Bobby’s fist, let me see what we can do here.” He bent down and started pulling out random pieces of material, dismissing most of them two seconds later. When half of my wardrobe had moved from the bed to the floor, he abandoned the task and moved on to my closet. “Anything left in here?”
“Just some stuff I haven’t even looked at since high school. I doubt any of it even fits. My boobs came in after graduation.” They were real and all, they’d just missed the initial puberty boat and had to wait for the next ferry. Unfortunately, they’d been spaced out quite a lot.
Derek was hidden behind the closet door already. “Then why did you keep all this stuff?”
“Because there’s nothing wrong with any of it.” And because when Cara and I had been nine we’d found her mother’s old trunk of clothes from the seventies and played the most awesome game of dress up ever. Consequently, we’d made a pact to save all of our most awesome articles of clothing from that point forward so that one day our own daughters could have an afternoon as amazing as ours. After Cara died I’d stopped collecting, but I hadn’t been able to part with what I had already accumulated.
“A-ha!” Derek announced, implying some sort of success in there. I was still skeptical. Until he stepped out of the closet holding up a purple strapless maxi dress. Back when I’d bought it I hadn’t had the rack to hold up the top, but now that wouldn’t be a problem.
“Holy shit, I forgot all about that dress.” I reached for the soft material and held it up to my chest. It was gorgeous.
“Obviously. There’s no paint on it.”
Smartass.
I looked at him just standing there. “Um, now that you’ve averted the bridal wear crisis, maybe you could go find another place to swoop in and save the day?”
“Oh, right.” He nodded sheepishly, realizing I had no intention of dropping my towel in front of him. Not because I had anything to hide at that point. He’d certainly seen all there was to see beneath it. It was more as a safety measure for him really. Once that towel came off, I’d see no reason for him to be wearing any clothes and then we’d wind up being late, walking down the aisle with disheveled post sex-hair and clothes that were put back on in a post-sex haste and then Bobby would set aside the fact that he was a pansy ass and punch Derek for real. Because that was just the sort of brother he was.
Once I was alone and finally had a suitable ensemble to wear, it took me less than ten minutes to be dressed and ready. After a final peek in the mirror, there was nothing left for me to do but walk out and face the music. Literally.
The house was completely empty as I made my dead woman walking stroll through the hall and out into the living room. The curtains were pulled back and I could see a small crowd of people gathered outside in the backyard. I couldn’t help but wonder how many among them had their doubts about the legitimacy of this wedding. Not that I had many friends these days. They were all acquaintances really. Or former friends. Unless they’d been at the bar the other night, they would no sooner know whether Derek and I had been a long term item for the last three years or if I magically pulled him from hat with a puff of white smoke.
“You ready to do this?” Aunt Deb was standing in the doorway looking particularly pleased with herself. At least someone was enjoying the day. Then Wyatt showed up beside her and I realized there were two someones.
“Hey, monkey man. Don’t you look handsome?!” He came over to me holding out a lovely bouquet of flowers he had handpicked from the backyard.
“Here you go, Mommy.”
“Thank you, baby.” My heart leapt to my throat when he reached up to take my hand and proceeded to walk me out the door.
Aunt Deb had hurried out ahead to cue the D.J. and I heard the quiet hum of Emeli Sandé’s ‘Next to Me’ the moment I stepped out onto the path that would lead me straight to Derek.
It was impossible not to buy into the fantasy. Aunt Deb had set me up flawlessly and I was taking a mad tumble down a wishing well I’d probably never be able to climb back out of. I didn’t care. For a brief moment, I told myself there’d be no harm in drinking the wedding Kool-Aid. I’d just deal with the reality hangover from hell later. I’d been forced to live in a world where nothing ever made any sense for long enough to just go with it. Who said unbelievable stuff always had to suck ass? Just this once, I was going to let the most demented part of it all be a chance of love and happy ever after.
***
I watched as Joss and Wyatt came walking toward me and actually heard my own thoughts say the words, luckiest guy in the world. Stupidest guy was probably more like it. This couldn’t even be categorized as a whirlwind romance, since there was no romance to speak of. Except we weren’t exactly strangers these days either. That wasn’t true. We were. We were total strangers. We just couldn’t tell anymore because we’d jumped into this naked with both eyes closed and neither of us had opened them since.
Having sex had opened the door to this false sense of familiarity where we could easily pretend that we had established a level of comfort between us. Only, what we had had nothing to do with trust or intimacy. It was strictly a means to an end, both of us filling a void in the other. A void neither party knew anything about, not where it came from, how long it had been there or even if it could ever be filled. It didn’t seem to matter. Or, at least we were both trying to convince ourselves that it didn’t. It did. And she mattered. Shit, she mattered more than she was supposed to.
“We’ve gathered here today to witness the union of Joss Arabella Kelley and Derek Harley Tice.” The look on her face was a perfect example of how little we really knew about each other. And mine was probably the mirror image. Arabella? Where the fuck had that come from? She was so Joss. I had just assumed her parents had seen fit to spare her any additional moniker.
“So, I’ve been told you’re both the strong silent type, so we’re going to go ahead and keep this simple.” He turned to me. “Do you have rings?” I did. I hadn’t told Joss, but I’d picked up a set the day before. Just seemed like the proper thing to do. Fake wedding or not, it just would have felt half-assed not to have a ring to put on her finger. Plus, that shit would have gotten me punched for sure. Even out of the corner of my eye I could see Bobby giving me the stare down from his seat in the front row. He hadn’t said much when he showed up. I knew he was aware of the fact that we were only doing this for Wyatt’s sake, but that didn’t change the fact that I probably wasn’t at the top of the list when it came to guys Bobby trusted enough to move in with his sister and nephew. I hadn’t been around nearly long enough to earn that.
I pulled the ring box from my pocket and held it up for everyone to see. “Got them right here.”
I saw Joss’s eyes go wide and automatically reached out for her hand, that false sense of familiarity leading me on again. It had her fooled too though, and her face relaxed into a small smile.
“Alright, Derek, if you would take the ring and place it on Joss’s hand. Repeat after me, with this ring, I thee wed.”
I was shocked to see my own fingers shaking as I did what I was told. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
“Now, Joss, if you would do the same.” He waited for me to retrieve the second ring from the small velvet box and hand it to her. “And repeat after me, with this ring, I thee wed.”
I couldn’t even tell anymore which one of us was doing the trembling as she slid the plain white gold band onto my finger and whispered, “With this ring…I thee wed.”
“I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
For some ridiculous reason I’d thought this part would be easy. I’d kissed Joss plenty in the last three days. Only, it had always
been in the heat of the moment, hidden away out of sight. Stolen kisses the world wasn’t meant to ever know about. Kissing her now seemed like I was breaking some sort of unspoken rule between us.
Slowly, I leaned down until I could feel her warm breath on my skin. I glanced up and was surprised to see her eyes closed. This was for real. Our first real kiss. And I was going to make it count.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Derek’s lips landed on mine softly in a kiss that was both sweet and filled with a quiet passion that still lingered on my mouth even after he broke away. When I opened my eyes again, he was smiling at me nervously, like he was thinking the same thing I was, that this one single kiss could ruin everything. Because that kiss hadn’t been just about the lust we’d set loose three days prior, it had been about feelings. Real, emotional, potentially heartbreaking, feelings. And those there just wasn’t any room for in my plan.
“Who’s ready for cake?” Aunt Deb’s voice cut through the awkward silence we had unknowingly created by our kissing and then standing there, staring at each other, wearing matching strange expressions, both mentally contemplating the consequences of our actions.
There were some cheers and applause in response to her suggestion, and slowly the crowd of people who’d shown up to play the audience for our performance, broke up and began to move about the yard in search of food and beverages.
“So, I guess that makes you my brother now.” Bobby stood in front of us, his hand placed on Derek’s shoulder in a firm grip.
“Guess so.” Derek’s sheepish grin shifted into an uncomfortable grimace.
“You two boys having like a moment here? Do I need to leave for this?” It wasn’t easy trying not to laugh.
“No, no. It’s cool. Stand by your husband, Joss. You might as well start practicing that.” Damn, now he was directing his little jabs at me, too. I hardly felt like I deserved them though. Maybe fake marrying Derek wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever done, but it certainly wasn’t anything compared to the dumbest thing he’d ever done. In fact, I could probably make a whole list of really fucking stupid things my brother had done over the years, all of which would make my little pretend wedding look like the work of a genius.
“Are you implying that I will make a shit wife?” I mean, in all honesty, I probably would, but Derek was in no position to have any expectations, and Bobby really had no reason to give a fuck either way.
“Just pointing out that your little bolting hobby is going to be a lot harder to keep up with now that you’ve legally bound yourself to a man for life.” Bobby was smirking. At least he had moved on to amusing himself.
“Um, for life is probably a bit of a stretch. Until divorce would likely be the better choice of wording there.” I reached down and took Derek’s hand. “In the meantime, in the interest of being wifely, I’m going to take my husband and go smear some frosting on his face.” And that’s exactly what I did. The cake was so freaking delicious I didn’t even care when Derek returned the favor.
After filling up on pastries, Aunt Deb cued the D.J. and before we knew it, everyone was rocking out to tunes from the sixties and seventies. Because Aunt Deb’s a hippie and she chose the songs. When I’m a Believer from the Monkees began to play, I was surprised not to see Wyatt busting out his best moves. Aunt Deb had had him hooked on Monkees tunes for the past six months, so there was no way he hadn’t recognized the song.
Curious, I searched the yard, assuming he was off goofing around with Bobby. Only my brother was standing near the buffet chatting up the leggy blonde he had brought along as his date. An uneasy feeling was quickly spreading through my gut, making me want to hurl up the cake I’d only just devoured.
“What’s wrong?” Derek’s face was instantly riddled with concern.
“I don’t see Wyatt.” I started walking, my eyes moving as fast as they could as they covered the area, repeatedly searching for what I was clearly missing. Aunt Deb was busy updating her song list with the DJ. Wyatt wasn’t with her either.
“He’s probably just inside the house. Maybe he got bored.”
I nodded, already heading toward the back porch. “You’re probably right.” I heard Derek say something else after, but I was too focused on getting inside and putting eyes on my son to make out whatever it was.
Barely through the door and I saw Hattie. She was standing in the hall, growling.
At first I thought maybe she had trapped Wyatt in his room and wasn’t letting him back out. It was completely unlike her, and I was about to scold her when I heard something else. A voice. But not just any voice. Travis.
Total panic set in as I moved through the house. I wanted to scream for help, but nothing was coming out. I wanted to run, but I barely felt myself moving. I reached Hattie without even knowing how I’d traveled there. All I knew, was my son was alone with a monster. A monster who had been willing to risk killing his own child just to keep him from me.
One hand on Hattie’s collar, I turned the corner into Wyatt’s room.
“Hi, Joss.” Travis was smiling at me, the same skeevy smile he put on every time he looked at me. It made me wish my own skin would split just so the ick he made me feel would have a way to seep out.
“What are you doing here?” The last thing I wanted was to scare Wyatt. As it was, he was sitting on Travis’s lap looking very confused and uneasy.
“Wyatt and I were just talking about how we were going to get out of here before your vicious dog attacks us. It hardly seems safe to have an animal like that around children.”
I swallowed, hoping I could push down the emotions threatening to run completely off the sanity tracks. “Actually, Hattie is specially trained to work with children. She’s part of a volunteer program where she visits pediatric hospitals – with my husband.” On some level, my mind had thought that maybe saying those words would make him magically appear, sort of like the agent always did in those car insurance commercials. I’d never been into the possibility of having a knight in shining armor swoop in and save the day, but I was willing to be open to the idea if there was any chance at all that Derek might show up and rescue Wyatt and me.
“Your husband. Yes, Wyatt was telling me how you got married today. Congratulations.”
I nodded. “Thanks. Speaking of, Wyatt why don’t you go and get another piece of cake?”
Wyatt’s head turned from me back to Travis who still had his arm draped across my son’s legs. “Do you want to getted another piece too, Travis?” His tiny voice was so unsure it broke my heart.
“No thanks, buddy. And you really don’t need another piece either. Too much sugar is bad for your teeth. Wouldn’t want our boy to get cavities, now would we, Joss?”
If Travis hadn’t physically had Wyatt in his grip, I would have marched straight into the room and yanked my kid out. But Travis had hands on him. Who knew what he would do if provoked. He’d certainly proven that he had no problems with doing us bodily harm in some of my past encounters with him.
“Mommy?” Wyatt was looking at me with sad, scared eyes.
“It’s okay, monkey man. Travis is just trying to be nice. He doesn’t know about your super teeth brushing powers. No cavities in that little mouth, huh, mister?” It took everything I had to muster a smile, but I needed Wyatt to see in my face that everything was going to be okay, even if I didn’t know how yet.
“What’s going on in here?” Derek. Then, before I could stop him, he went right past me, straight for Travis. “Hey, man, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Derek, Joss’s husband.”
He reached for Travis’s hand, freeing Wyatt from his embrace in the process.
“Travis. Joss and I go way back. Don’t we, Joss?”
Derek cut back in before I could even answer. “Oh I know. I’ve heard all about you.” His tone was insanely casual. Insanely not because the situation was so surreal, but because I’d heard him do casual when it was actually casual, and this was so casual it was unnatural. All the while, his hand was still
gripping Travis’s, whose face was slowly beginning to distort as if he was in some sort of pain.
Derek tipped his head down toward Wyatt. “I think Hattie’s getting pretty grumpy about being stuck in the house. Think you could take her outside for me and sneak her a piece of cheese without Aunt Deb noticing?”
Wyatt nodded happily. This time he didn’t even glance at Travis. Relief washed over me as my kid slid down from his lap and hurried to Hattie’s side, wrapping both arms around her in a hug before tugging at her collar and leading her from the room. “Come on, Hattie. Let’s go getted some cheese.”
Derek waited until the sound of the screen door slamming announced Wyatt’s exit. Then he pulled Travis to his feet by his hand before twisting it behind his back and throwing him chest first against the wall. Travis yelled out in pain briefly, then proceeded to mutter threats under his breath.
Derek completely ignored his outburst. “Go call the police. Now.”
I felt my head move up and down repeatedly, too caught up in the relief of knowing Wyatt was safe to form any words yet. My fingers had barely swiped the screen of my phone when I heard Travis pipe up yet again.
“I don’t know if I would do that if I were you, Joss. What are you going to tell them? Huh?”
“That you broke into my house and threatened my child you, asshole!” I practically went flying from the doorway to where Derek had him pinned.
“Hm, that’s not exactly how I would tell it. See, what actually happened is, I came by to see my son. I knocked but no one answered. Hearing all the commotion out back, I assumed everyone was outside and no one could hear me. So, I let myself in, since the door was unlocked anyway. Wyatt was just leaving the bathroom when I ran into him in the hall. We were having a nice little chat when your vicious dog showed up, threatening us so we had to retreat to the room, afraid of being attacked. Which, of course I was anyway, when your husband showed up. I don’t know about you, but if I were a judge trying to determine who would make a better parent, I don’t think I’d pick the one who keeps her doors unsecured so strangers can just waltz right in. Never mind the clear issues of having an aggressive dog and a husband who’s prone to violent behavior.”
