by Layne, Lyssa
From: Nix Silverstone
To: Valerie
Subject: Hello from Seattle
Hey Val,
I miss you so much right now. I don't know if you’ve spoke with Bekka in the past day or two, but I'm going through hell. Mom found out about the new tattoo and she also caught me sleeping half-naked with Levi on the couch. Not what you think, but I’d just gotten the new tattoo (it’s freaking amazing) so I was just wearing underwear (because it also freaking hurts!). Anyway, Mom got really mad like she always does, but this time, it was even worse. She said some horrible things to Levi and I, and she’s cut all ties with me. She had the last of my belongings delivered to the apartment and even Carlson is taking her side. I talked to him this afternoon, tried to explain my side of the story, but he didn’t want to hear a word I said. So now they’re both refusing to talk to me and told me I’m making all the wrong choices. I’m trying to deal with all this shit, but it hurts. My heart hurts so badly, Val. You always seem to know what to do or say in these situations. I really need your help.
I know it's soon and everything, but I'm so in love with Levi. He is my angel. You and Bekka were right – he’s the perfect man for me and I should have listened to you both.
Nix xox
I pressed send and waited impatiently for her reply. She always had her phone or laptop with her, so I expected an answer sooner, rather than later. I missed her so much.
While I waited, I watched my love. Levi was concentrating, a deep ‘V’ creasing his forehead which made him look adorable. I was so proud of him and everything he’d accomplished in his life. He’d been through a lot too, had issues to deal with just as I did. His father had hoped Levi would become a brilliant lawyer like he had, and Levi did what was expected of him, but even after all the study, he’d decided to follow his heart and take a different path. I admired him for sticking to his principles. I couldn't imagine how much courage it must have taken to tell his dad and yet, they still talked to one another and had a good relationship. My situation was so different. Mom and Carlson had never given me the option to be myself. When I’d finally moved into the apartment, I’d started feeling independent and free for the first time in my life. I’d finally started living.
Minutes later.
From: Valerie
To: Nix Silverstone
Subject: Re: Hello from Seattle---Hey You!
Hey Nix,
You’re going through a rough time Nix, but keep the faith. Be strong. Your mother is angry and disappointed, but she can't stop loving you and I don’t believe she has. She will always love you, a Mom can’t turn off those feelings. Give her time. She might change her mind but knowing your Mom, she might not. Be prepared for either eventuality, Nix, and remember – this is your life.
Carlson...What can I say? He’ll do anything your mother says. I know you consider him your father and you love him too, but he will always pick your mother’s side first. This time, I don't think he felt he could help you, because your mom is so angry. Remember, he has to live with her. Nothing can make her understand that you’re still the same person, Nix, she’s frightened because of her background, but she has no right to press her beliefs on you. You’re a big girl now, and can make your own choices.
It’s so good to see you being yourself, to see you living YOUR life the way you want to. I just wish your mom could see how happy you are. Levi, the tattoos - it doesn’t change who you truly are and I love you for it.
Why don't you come for a visit?
ILY
Val xxx
Visit? She wanted me to visit her in Boston? Could I? The first thing came to mind was Levi. I didn't think I would be able to stay away from him and the odds that he would be excited about this idea were not in my favor. We’d hadn’t been together for long, and I couldn’t imagine him being thrilled about me taking off to Boston, not when he couldn’t come with me. He had his business, he couldn’t just drop everything and take off. Chewing on my fingernail, I decided to wait a few days to see how I was doing. While the past twenty four hours had been traumatic, I needed to let things settle down, and not fly off on a tangent. Although the thought of travelling to Boston sounded fun, I’d never been there and I would love to see Val. Definitely something to think about.
From: Nix Silverstone
To: Valerie
Subject: Re:Re: Hello from Seattle---Hey You!
I’ll think about it.
Thank you for everything.
Missing you like crazy.
Nix xox
Maybe it could be fun to travel to the East coast. I had enough money and it might help settle my mind a little. The idea of going sounded interesting and exciting. Bekka would probably come with me if I decided to go.
My angel finished his client’s tattoo about two hours later. He had one last appointment for the day. “Something small and boring for a college girl,” he’d said. It sounded like my star tattoo but I knew he would never say anything derogatory about it. That star was how we first connected. Small tattoos just weren’t very challenging for him. I needed to head off to work, so I took the bus home to get ready and left Levi to prepare for his last client for the day. He dropped a dizzying kiss on my lips as I left, promising to meet me at the club.
There weren't too many people at the club tonight, which was great as we had time to relax and talk a bit more than usual. Tiff was working tonight and I was growing really fond of her.
"Nice tattoo, Nix," Tiff studied my healing ink. "When did you get it done?"
"A couple of days ago." I smiled. "Levi did it for me. I love it." There was a bittersweet memory attached to the tattoo now. I really did love it, but it reminded me of the showdown with Mom.
I took a sip of Jack Daniels and decided I was done moping around. This was the beginning of my own life and if Mom didn't want to be part of it, that was her loss, not mine. I smiled at the epiphany and felt better already. I took another sip of JD. I was deeply in love. My friends and boyfriend were incredibly good to me. I had absolutely no reason to complain and mope around.
"You look like you just won the lottery," Tyler observed as he walked up to the bar where I was working.
"I’ve decided I’m done with all the crap in my life. I have the best friends in the world and I love my boyfriend. It's more than enough. I’m saying to hell with everything else, I just want to be happy," I explained.
"That’s my girl! Do we need to celebrate?"
"Of course! Tequila?"
Tyler nodded his agreement. We shared a round of shots, then another and followed it with a third round. By the time my angel arrived, I was a bit tipsy and couldn't stop kissing and hugging him. Outwardly, Levi looked fine, but he didn’t seem to be himself. Something was weird about his mood. Maybe he was just tired, I decided, as he’d worked hard today and hadn’t had a huge amount of sleep. I decided to let it go. He was allowed to be moody. God knows he’d dealt with a lot of my moods in recent days.
Tiff was being a buffoon as normal, and I couldn't stop laughing at her. She was preparing shots for customers and her techniques were amazingly impressive. She had a great talent with the shaker and the bottles. She would throw the bottles high and catch them without even having to look where they would fall. She was a freaking pro! Even the guys on the other side of the bar were busy wooing her. She’d never used this gift in front of an audience before. I decided she had to teach me, I wanted to be just as good as she was.
Levi stayed near the bar, and he seemed morose. Something was off, he was never that quiet, and he had me worried. I wondered if talking about his Mom earlier had depressed him.
"Levi? Is there something wrong?" I asked, when I took my break and joined him on the other side of the bar.
"Just a rough day, Rock Star." He forced a smile and pulled me into his arms. "I love you," he said softly, pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose. "Don't ever doubt me," he added seriously, pressing his forehead against mine.
"I don’t doubt you
, Levi. I believe in you." He’d caught me by surprise, why would I have any need to doubt him? I knew he loved me and hearing the words sent waves of happiness through my limbs. "I love you, too."
Levi leaned in to kiss me again, his mouth tasting of beer. He’d been drinking a lot of them tonight, which was unusual, but again, I could sense something wasn't right. Our lips and tongues connected and adrenaline heated my body like never before. My desire for him was rapidly increasing and I was afraid I would lost control. He slid a hand under my crop top and brushed his fingers over the skin on my back. He drew back from the kiss and gazed into my eyes, his expression serious. "You are perfect Rock Star, absolutely perfect for me. I love you." He leaned in again and nuzzled his nose with mine, then pressed his lips to mine again. This time he was more demanding, almost rough as he explored my mouth with his tongue. He was driving me crazy. I pulled him closer while our kissing session got hotter and hotter and Levi’s hands roamed over my naked skin. I pulled back abruptly, out of breath and dizzy with love, reminding myself I was at work and kissing my angel in front of all the customers. I needed to regain some control.
"I’m working, this isn’t appropriate, Angel."
His eyebrows furrowed and he shot me a surprised look. "Did you just call me Angel?"
"You are my angel." My face flushed with embarrassment.
He laughed and his whole body seemed to relax. "I'm no angel, Rock Star," he confessed quietly.
"It doesn’t matter what you say, you’re my angel. You make me so happy and you always look out for me."
"Aww. What the hell have I done to deserve you? You’re too good to me, Nix."
He held me tight in his toned arms and ran his fingers through my hair. His lips met with mine one last time before I escaped from his grasp and headed back behind the bar. He kept watching me, gazing at the tattoo peeking out from under my top. I was certain his desire was getting stronger. Just like mine.
The night at the club ended earlier than I expected. Tyler told me to head home around midnight. I couldn't refuse the opportunity, I craved sleep after another emotional day. My angel followed me home. I didn't want him to drive because of the beers he’d consumed, but he swore he was fine and I trusted him.
Once we got home, I got into pajamas and we watched a shark documentary. Levi was captivated by the Great White Shark but I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch.
I woke up in his bed and a glance at the clock confirmed it was ten hours later. Levi had the softest cotton sheets on his bed and they smelled like him. I pressed my nose against the pillowcase, inhaling his smell, I could have happily stayed there all day. I needed a bathroom break though, so I crept out of bed and snuck out of the room. Levi needed his sleep. After visiting the bathroom, I went into my room and got my guitar.
The thing I enjoyed most in the morning, apart from morning sex in the shower with my angel, was playing guitar. Music was relaxing and almost therapeutic. Some people keep a journal, or pay thousands of dollars for therapy. Playing guitar was my thing. I played one of my favorite songs, ‘Folsom Prison Blue’ by Johnny Cash. That man was a star, he truly was. He had a rough life, but he could sing and play guitar like no one else. I had plenty of other favorite musicians and I ran through a few different songs, ending up playing John Legend’s, ‘All of me’.
When I came to the end of the song, I realized that both Bekka and Levi were watching. Bekka had tears rolling down her cheeks and Levi had tears brimming in his eyes. It seemed I was the only one in the room not on the verge of crying, which felt good because I’d done plenty of crying for the past few days.
"No crying allowed today, it's a good day! Come on Bek, please don’t cry!"
She sniffled and dried her eyes. "You have no clue how deeply you can touch people’s hearts. You're gifted, Nix."
"She’s right, Rock Star, you really are." His voice was different, more emotional than usual. "You should do something about it."
"No guys... it's my hobby, my pastime... that’s all," I pleaded with them to understand.
Bekka held me in her arms and hugged me tightly. Then, Levi joined us and Tyler too. I hadn’t even noticed that he was here.
"I missed the show but I could hear you from the bedroom. You should think about doing a small concert one night at the club. It could be a private show, if you want."
I had to admit, I was interested in the idea but not entirely convinced. "I’ll think about it. Thanks for the offer, Tyler."
"Who wants breakfast?" Angel asked, pulling out of the embrace.
"I do." I agreed happily.
Breakfast with Levi would always bring back the memories of our first morning together. When I first saw him standing in the kitchen, wearing his underwear, I thought I was going to kill him. I was so angry with Bekka for choosing him as our new roommate. Now though, I couldn't imagine my life without him and it had only been a few days. He was bringing so much happiness into my life, I was in love and nothing else mattered. Well, almost nothing, other than my grumbling stomach as Levi prepared breakfast.
Chocolate milk, pancakes, fresh fruit, eggs and bacon. Levi was the king of breakfast preparation. We all ate way too much, but god, it was so delicious. They all looked hung over, with dark circles under their eyes.
"When did you get home last night, I didn't hear you come in?"
"Oh, you were gone, sound asleep when we got home," Bekka laughed. "Levi put you into bed and you didn't even move. We continued the party until about 4am."
"Remind me to buy you a new bottle of vodka," Levi muttered, and I think he hoped I wouldn't notice what he’d said.
"It was a brand new bottle. Geez, guys." I looked at them, one by one, taking in the signs of a heavy night. Bekka had a bad case of panda eyes, where her mascara had smeared and her hair had the look of someone who’d partaken in too much alcohol and a lot more sex. Tyler and Levi both had bloodshot eyes and severe cases of bed head. "No wonder you all look like hell." I laughed, delighted to see them suffering while I felt perfectly fine.
"Stop... stop... quiet, please. My head is killing me. This is going to be a long day," Bekka whined, and got up to find the bottle of Extra Strength Advil. They passed the bottle around the table, all three of them obviously suffering hangovers.
I took care of the dishes while the trio watched a movie. When I was finishing up I heard one of them snoring. Great, I thought. I could tell none of them would be very active today.
"I’m going to get a shower real quick and head in to the shop. I have to draw a design for a client. He’s coming this afternoon" Levi popped his head through the doorway to the kitchen.
My hands were in the sink, dripping with soapy water. I nodded and heard Levi head into the bathroom. I heard the water running and my mind automatically switched on to a replay of yesterday’s shower. His hands holding me, touching me. The feel of him inside me. His kisses that I now craved like the most addictive drug. It was like an adult movie playing in my head. I dropped the last plate into the sink and the water splattered all around the floor, but mostly on me, of course. It didn’t stop me from daydreaming. I relived the whole scene in my head and remembered the feel of his chest, his abs. I wanted to feel him again now. I dried my hands and walked through to the bathroom, but it was already empty. I walked down to his bedroom and found him dressed and ready to leave.
He saw the disappointment in my eyes. "I'm sorry, Rock Star, I really need to get going, but come down later if you want, or take the day off. You could spend the day with Bekka if you’d like."
Although the thought of a day with Bekka was tempting, seeing my angel later was more tempting. "I'll see you at the shop later, okay?"
"Yeah, Nix. I love you, my little Rock Star." He kissed me briefly and left.
I was certain Bek and Tyler were both asleep in the living room. I had no reason to stay home and couldn’t think of anything interesting to do which wouldn't interrupt their sleep.
I jumped in the shower before
putting on my favorite purple tank top and a pair of denim capris and headed out of the apartment. I had my iPod plugged into my ears as I started walking down the sidewalk. I didn't know what I intended to do, but I didn't mind not having any definite plans.
I sat under a tree near the University and listened to music. The sky was perfectly blue, no sign of clouds and the sun was shining brightly. It was so warm, I was thankful to be sitting in the shadow of the large tree. I stayed there for almost an hour before I decided to continue walking.
I spied a nail salon and stopped to look in through the window. Why not? I pulled opened the door and decided to get a manicure and pedicure on the spur of the moment.
"Did you decide on a color?" The nail technician asked, showing me all the different colors I could choose from.
"Yeah, this one." I pointed out a flashy summer shade of purple, for both my toenails and fingernails.
It was my first time having a manicure and pedicure done by a professional, and I was excited. The technician even added tiny diamonds to my fingernails. It was really cute. My nails looked special and unique. It felt so good to be in love, I wanted to be prettier for Levi. He never complained about how I looked, but I wanted to be more for him. My feminine side was apparently coming out, which had never happened before. I’d been on a few dates before Levi, and my desire to look good was there, but my need to please was way different with Levi. I wanted him to want me, as much as I wanted and needed him.
When I finally walked out of the salon, my nails were all pretty and shiny and I was feeling great. I couldn't wait for Levi to see. He would notice right away, I had no doubt. I’d been out for more than two hours already and I missed him. I grabbed turkey sandwiches and Caesar salads for the guys from the bakery and headed towards the tattoo shop. Butterflies started to dance in my stomach again. I felt ridiculous for being so besotted, but I honestly couldn't help it. My feelings for him were seemingly uncontrollable. Between us, everything was almost too good to be true. I started walking a little faster, as soon as the shop signboard came into view. My heartbeat was accelerating and my palms were sweaty.
