Annie seemed relieved to have the conversation started on an easy topic. As she reeled off the status of the experiments, like she would have on any other day, she relaxed visibly.
Jack continued to smile at her reassuringly, and she even started to give him a small, hesitant smile back, but when Jack leaned closer toward her while she talked, her eyes widened and she pulled back quickly. Jack reminded himself to take it slowly and try not to scare her. He continued to ask her gentle questions about the status of the lab and smiled reassuringly at her answers.
After about ten minutes, they had covered most of the topics they normally covered in their daily briefings, and Annie seemed somewhat calmer. Jack decided to risk broaching the topic they had both been so carefully avoiding.
"I really am glad to see you this morning, Annie. I looked for you yesterday but I must have missed you. I wanted to make sure you were all right." Jack tried to hold Annie's gaze even as she ducked her head.
Annie stomach lurched as he spoke, but she fought for courage and made herself look back at him. "Umm, Professor Davis?" Annie began. She had been practicing this speech and several others, all morning.
Jack interrupted her. "Annie, I have been telling you since Christmas to call me Jack, like all the other students in the lab do. You finished my class last semester so you're no longer technically my student, and I think we're past the formality of calling me Professor Davis. Don't you think so?" Jack smiled at her.
The interruption momentarily derailed Annie's train of thought. "Umm, yes, sir," Annie said hesitantly. Then she blushed a furious shade of red. "Oh, sorry. Sorry. I mean, 'Yes, Jack'. Sorry. Sorry." Annie felt mortified that she couldn't even get one response out correctly. But to her surprise, Jack laughed warmly.
"Actually, Annie, I kind of like 'sir'. It's one of the things I noticed about you the first day I interviewed you for the research assistant position. In the south, where I grew up, people still use sir and ma'am all the time. My mother calls almost everyone outside of family and close friends either sir or ma'am, but you hardly ever hear it up north here. Here people just say 'yeah' and 'nah', which is not nearly as pleasing to the ear as 'yes, ma'am' or 'no, sir.' I liked that about you, the first day I met you."
Annie blushed again, this time at the compliment. But she did feel a little better for the praise. She tried again to give her prepared speech.
"Umm, Jack? I just wanted to say again how very sorry I am for what I did on Saturday night. Thank you again for not firing me, and I promise I will think about how badly I behaved every day, for the rest of my life, and I will be sorry for it, every day. I know that can't begin to make up for what I did, but I promise –"
Jack interrupted her again. "Whoa, Annie, you don't need to keep feeling badly for that. That was the whole point of the spanking. You did something wrong, you took your punishment, and now it's over. I'm not mad about it anymore, and you don't need to feel badly about it anymore. In fact, I'm very happy that you still work for me. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Annie was stunned. "What do you mean I don't need to feel badly anymore? I did a terrible thing. I'll feel bad about this for the rest of my life. Of course, I will. I'll never forgive myself for what I did."
"No, no, Annie." Jack ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to explain to her. "The whole point of the spanking is that now the entire affair is over. You have your job back, and what you did to put it at risk is past history. It's over. You did something wrong, you paid for it, and that's the end of it. I can't be mad about it anymore, and you can't continue to feel bad about it. Don't you understand?"
"No, not really," Annie murmured, still shocked by the idea that she didn't have to feel guilty anymore. "It just doesn't seem right not to feel bad. My whole life, I've been worried about doing bad things, because if I do something wrong then I feel awful about it forever. I still feel bad about things I did when I was kindergarten. How can you say I just shouldn't feel bad about something as terrible as what I did last weekend?"
Jack spoke in a quiet voice, "Because you paid for it, Annie. You took your punishment and now you don't need to punish yourself for it anymore. You've earned the right to have your job back, and I'm glad to have you back." Jack smiled at her warmly. Although he longed to reach across the desk and take her hand, he sensed she was not ready for any more physical contact just yet. He reminded himself to take it as slowly and easily as she needed him to.
"Well, that's certainly something to think about," Annie said in a dubious voice. She gave Jack an uncertain smile. "That would sure be a big change for me, not to obsess over what I did wrong and hate myself for it, for years. It would be nice not to beat myself up over it for the rest of my life." Suddenly, Annie went pale. "But there are still several other rules I broke, last weekend." Annie was extremely worried about the spankings she would receive for breaking each of those rules, and she wasn't sure she would be able to go through with it all.
Jack knew he would have to tread very cautiously as they covered this ground. "Yes," he said carefully. "And we will deal with each of them, in due time, and then they will be over and forgotten, as well. You won't have to feel badly for any of them, anymore, either." Jack smiled at her. "But let's not worry about that now. Nothing is going to happen until Friday, so we don't have to think about that until then. For now, let's just be happy you're still working for me. I know I'm very pleased about that. And I'm not mad at you, and you don't have to feel bad about keeping your job, and those are all good things."
Annie agreed with him about the good things but was not so sure about the not worrying bit. She considered herself one of the top worriers in the state and maybe the country. She certainly spent a great deal of time worrying about things a lot less scary than getting four more spankings. But she had to admit, she did feel much better since talking to Professor Davis ('Jack', she reminded herself to call him). And the idea that she should not feel badly for something she did wrong after she was spanked for it was so surprising to her, she knew she would spend a lot of time thinking about that, over the next few days. In fact, the concept that she could actually forget she had done something wrong was so appealing that it made her wonder if it was worth a spanking, even a spanking as hard as she had received the other night. But she couldn't let herself think about that now. It was too big of a change to think about until she actually had the time to consider it properly.
"But what about Friday, should I…am I just supposed to come here and?" Annie's voice started to sound slightly panicked. "What if one of the other students comes in? What..."
"Don't worry, Annie," Jack said soothingly. "We'll go somewhere more private. No one will walk in on us. We can go to my house, if that's what you want or somewhere else. But we don't have to worry about that now. We'll think about that on Friday. For now, I just want to be glad that you're still working for me. Can you at least try not to worry about that until Friday?"
"Well, I'll try," Annie said doubtfully. Then she looked at Jack and smiled slightly. "And I am glad that I still have my job, too."
Annie started to gather her things together to go to her next class. "Wait, Annie." Jack stopped her. "Are you going to be back this afternoon?" Jack hoped that he would be able to see her again, even though all the other students in the lab would be there, as well. He didn't want her to keep avoiding him as she had yesterday.
"Yes, I'll be back after three." Annie gave him a small smile as she left.
* * *
On Thursday afternoon, Paulie's persistence finally paid off and he spotted the bitch leaving the lab. About fucking time! He was freakin' freezing! James Bond and all those other movie dudes made spying look really cool, but the truth was it was boring as hell. He had been watching for the bitch ever since she had dumped him in favor of that asshole professor on Saturday night. At first, he had been worried she was going to narc on him. The asshole Prof had been pretty mad when he came in there and found them making out in his lab. And wh
en Paulie had spied on them going out to the café, later that night, he had been sure she must have tried to pin the blame on him, because the asshole didn't seem mad at her anymore.
However, when a couple of days had passed and Paulie hadn't heard anything, he realized she must not have known enough about him to get him into trouble. She probably couldn't narc on him because she didn't even know his last name. He had always been a lucky man that way.
But something continued to eat at Paulie. If the bitch hadn't ratted him out, then why wasn't the asshole Prof still mad at her? Why was she still working in his lab? Paulie remembered the way that asshole had looked at her when they were going into the café. Like he couldn't take his eyes off her. That asshole had stolen his girl!
Paulie fumed as he slowly drove his car across campus, following the bitch to her dorm. He was the one who had found her! He'd claimed her! She was his, goddamnit! He was the one who had worked her all night, getting her warmed up and ready for him to make his move! He's the one who should have had the payout.
Now, it looked like that asshole had probably fucked his girl. Paulie rolled down his window and spit on the road when he saw her enter the safety of her dorm before he could find a parking place. Well, he wasn't going to take this lying down. She should know that you go home with the guy you came with. Who did she think she was, anyway? She was some shitty little nobody, that's who. She wasn't going to get away with treating him like this. He'd show her. He was going to make them both pay!
Chapter 6
On Friday morning, Annie hurried to her daily ten o'clock briefing with Jack. Her heart was pounding so loudly, she was afraid the students she passed in the hallways could hear it. Jack had told her not to worry about her next spanking until Friday, and now, it was Friday morning and time to meet with him. All week, she had met with him in the morning and afternoon, and sometimes, even in the evening, if he stayed late, but in their meetings they had always talked about the lab or the experiments they were running or the latest published research. Although the time they had spent together totaled several hours, they had never again acknowledged the fact that Jack had spanked her last weekend and was planning to spank her again this next weekend. In fact, they had never again said anything that couldn't be said in front of the other students who hung out in the lab, even when they were alone.
But this morning was different. Today was the day Jack had said he would spank her again, and they needed to make plans for him to do that. The more Annie thought about what was going to happen tonight, the more panicked she became.
She wasn't sure she could handle another spanking like the one she had received last weekend. She was shocked by how much it had hurt and by how helpless and vulnerable she had felt. And as bad as it had been, at least it had all happened quickly. Jack had found her breaking the rules, threatened to spank her, and then delivered on his promise, all within a short time. Now she had the rest of the day to worry about the upcoming spanking.
Actually, she'd had the entire week to worry about the spanking, but after her talk with Jack on Monday morning, she had almost been able to put the upcoming event out of her mind, which was unheard of for her. Annie always worried about everything. She spent hours worrying about even the most minor things. The only reason she had been able to avoid worrying about tonight's spanking was because Jack had given her so much else to think about.
The idea that she didn't have to punish herself by feeling guilty for the rest of her life over every mistake she made had come as a shock to Annie. She still had trouble accepting the idea, even though she had thought about it repeatedly for the last several days. In fact, every time Annie started to feel nervous about her upcoming spanking on Friday, she turned her thoughts instead to Jack's assertion that she wasn't allowed to feel bad about her mistakes after she had paid for them. This was so contrary to Annie's sense of who she was and how she lived her life that thinking about it had consumed her free time all week.
But now, it was Friday and Jack had told her he would spank her again tonight. She knew they would have to discuss plans at their ten a.m. meeting, because after that, the other students would be around, and Jack always left early on Friday afternoons for some volunteer work he did with disadvantaged kids at the pool.
Annie didn't think she could go through with another spanking. She just wasn't brave enough. On the other hand, she did want to have the spanking over so she didn't feel guilty anymore. But in order not to feel guilty, she had to go through with the spanking! She just didn't know what she wanted! She liked the idea of purging her guilt with a spanking, but she was also scared of actually being spanked.
Should she try to convince Jack to let her out of the remaining spankings? He had been so nice over the past week. Of course, he had always been nice enough, but it seemed to Annie that he had been nicer than ever the past few days. Maybe it was her imagination, or maybe she was just paying closer attention now, but it seemed that he was more attentive and considerate of her than usual. He often smiled at her, and not just a brief, professional smile, but a smile that forced her eyes to meet his and made her stomach tighten.
She had always had a secret crush on her handsome advisor, but these last few days the strength of her feelings for Jack had surprised Annie. Sometimes, when he looked at her and smiled that heartbreakingly beautiful smile of his, Annie wanted to melt into his arms and have him hold her the way he had on Saturday night after he spanked her.
How ridiculous of her to have thoughts like that! She had no business thinking about him that way. She hoped she never did anything that would let him guess the feelings she had for him. How mortifying would it be if he knew she had a schoolgirl crush on him? It was so cliché! Annie's face reddened just thinking about it.
As Annie approached Jack's lab, her feet slowed and her heart raced. Her hands sweated so badly that she had trouble getting her key card inserted in the lock, and ended up dropping her card twice before finally getting the door open.
* * *
Jack watched Annie fumble with her key card and books as she entered the lab. He could see how distressed she was from across the room and he longed to comfort her. He had wondered all week if she would simply refuse to go along with any more spankings. He had to tread very carefully today.
She settled into her chair clumsily. She didn't want to talk about the lab today; she had to ask Jack to let her out of her remaining spankings before she lost her nerve. But was that what she really wanted? She was so confused.
"Jack, about tonight," Annie began in a choked voice.
"Yes, Annie, I wanted to talk about that," Jack interrupted gently. "I know you were very concerned about having someone walk in on us if we met here, and I've been thinking about some options. I want to make sure to be sensitive to your concerns. We had mentioned on Monday the possibility of going to my house, and if you're okay with that, I think that would be perfect. I can pick you up after I am done at the pool and—"
"No," Annie cut him off. "I-I…" Annie's voice trailed off. She couldn't think of exactly what she wanted to say.
"Do you not want to come to my house? That's fine." Jack smiled reassuringly. Would you rather meet somewhere else? We could—"
"No, no, that's not it." When Jack looked at her liked that, it was hard to object to his plans. Annie couldn't seem to find the words to ask him to reconsider.
"Did you not want me to pick you up, then? Do you have your own car?" Jack thought maybe she would feel more in control if she drove herself to his house.
"No, I don't have a car." Annie gave up. She was never going to be able to ask him to let her out of her remaining spankings. She just couldn't do it. She slumped back into her chair. What a pathetic coward she was.
"Well, did you want someone else to drive you?" Jack asked doubtfully. "It's too far to walk or bicycle in this cold."
Annie sighed as she thought about what to say. "Well, maybe I could take the bus."
Jack was puzzled. Why would she ra
ther take the bus than ride with him? "Wouldn't it be safer to ride with me, Annie?" he asked slowly.
"Well, lots of people are out on campus on a Friday evening. My friends might see you, if you picked me up and ask questions about where I was going with you. What would I tell them? I can't tell them the truth, and I'm a terrible liar. My friends are used to me taking the bus to the houses where I babysit, and they won't ask any questions." Annie realized that what she was saying was all true and did make a good bit of sense. "I'm used to taking the bus. I do it all the time."
"Hmm…" Jack thought that maybe Annie wanted to take the bus so she could back out more easily, at the last minute. Maybe he should leave her that option. He still wondered if he should never have proposed the idea of the additional spankings for each offense she committed. Maybe that was pushing too far. Maybe it was best to let her take the bus so she could simply not show up, if she decided not to go through with the rest of her spankings.
"Well, Annie, I'll tell you what," Jack proposed. "You can take the bus to my house, if you prefer, but I insist on driving you home, afterward. It will be later by then, and I don't want to take any chances—"
"Okay," Annie agreed quickly. "That's what the people I babysit for do, too. I take the bus out there, and then they drive me home, afterwards. There won't be so many people hanging out in front of the dorm later in the evening, so no one will notice if you drive me home. What bus line runs near your house?"
Jack turned to the computer to print out a bus schedule and directions for how to get to his house after she got off the bus. "If you catch this 6:20 bus here," he said, pointing to the computer screen. "Then you should be at my house at about 7:00. Will that work for you?"
Annie nodded and watched his hands fly across the keyboard. She knew from last week what those big, strong hands would feel like on her bottom. How was she going to get through tonight?
Submitting To Her Professor Page 6
