by Calinda B
She playfully slapped his arm.
“Is that what you’re wearing to the party?” Unable to get excited, he’d worn jeans and a brown linen shirt. He had his workout clothes in the cab and his orange accented Trek in the bed of the truck.
Caitlin laughed. “No, dude. If I wore what I’m wearing when Lawson shows up, it would be covered with sticky fingerprints, mud and baby spit up.”
“I don’t see the baby anywhere. Where is she?”
“Jeff’s got her. He’ll be here shortly. Tiffany had a rough night, finally got to sleep at about three in the morning and we didn’t want to wake her. I hope she’s not coming down with something. She might simply be teething.”
“When are you guys going to stop populating the planet?” Zed said, smiling.
“When you kick in and start helping. Dating anyone?”
He averted his gaze. “Not really, no.”
She shook her head. “Baby brother. You’re such a handsome man. Why don’t you date more?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t been the same since…you know…the collision. It shook me.”
“It was a year ago. You need to move on. You’re alive. You were granted mercy. Move on.” The concern in her storm cloud blue-gray eyes fell around him, thick and weighted.
“There’s more to it than you know.”
“So you say. Only you never share it. How can I help you if I don’t know what’s going on?”
“I don’t need your help.” And my glorious brother would kill me if I ever told. “Don’t worry, I’ll get there. I’m saving myself for Ms. Right.”
“You’ll find her. She’s out there.” She reached out to pat his cheek. “You looking forward to seeing Lawson?” She wrinkled up her nose.
Zed scoffed. “What do you think? We’re not exactly close. I invited Jace over to keep me from hurling.”
“Jace Savage? Mr. Party himself?”
“He’s changed, big time. He’ll be showing up with his wife and kid.”
“No way!”
“Way. He’s got a beautiful wife, Zoé, a good job photographing nature and wildlife, and he adopted his sister’s little girl.”
Caitlin chuckled. “That’s hard to imagine. Jace had quite a reputation. I’m glad you got out of that lifestyle.”
Zed grimaced. “Me, too. The whole thing blew up when the O’Reillys got arrested.”
“Yeah, I remember you mentioning it but I probably didn’t have time to give it more than a passing thought. And since Seattle’s a world away from life out here, it didn’t really affect me.”
Their mom called from the back of the house. “Caitlin, come and help me. You, too, Zed.”
When they arrived in the big room used to entertain, her mom beamed at him. “Hello, handsome.”
“Hey, Ma.” He kissed his mom’s cheek affectionately. “I brought you the promised trees. They’re in the front yard. I’ll dig holes when you decide where they’re going to live.”
“Not today you won’t. This is a big day.”
Zed rolled his eyes. “What you got there?”
“Oh, look.” She beamed at both Caitlin and Zed. “Your brother dropped this off. The president of the United States gave this to him. Isn’t it wonderful? A bronze star.”
Zed read the certificate his mother held. For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as a Scout Sniper, Scout Sniper Platoon, 3rd Battalion, 27d Marines, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force. During the battle in the Kamdesh District, Nuristan Province, Afghanistan, Sergeant Farrell's sniper team arrived within Company B's position as they came under heavy small arms fire from a determined enemy force. Blah, blah, blah de fucking blah. As usual, the thought of his brother holding a gun sent him into a mind spin about the accident. Oh, yeah, he’s such a hero, my dickhead brother.
“We’re so proud of him. I know your father would be tickled pink if he were still alive.” His mom blinked back tears and stared at the framed document. “Lawson dropped it off last night for me to see. I told him this must go on the Wall of Honor.”
The “Wall of Honor” was the place where she hung her kids’ accomplishments. Caitlin’s graduation from beauty school, Grayson’s certificate of achievement from the business school he’d attended and then photos of his subsequent graduation…she had one document of the certificate Zed had been given when he’d done the program in New York.
Then there was picture after picture of Lawson. Lawson in the water ski competition right after high school—he’d placed first, of course. Lawson holding the high school trophy for winning the football tournament. Lawson smiling for the camera, hunkered down next to the elk he’d felled in Montana. Hell, the dude didn’t even look like he came from the same family. Where Zed, Grayson, and Caitlin had dark hair, Lawson had golden blond hair, some throwback to their grandfather on their father’s side.
Lawson was their dearly departed dad’s son, through and through. The other kids belonged to mom. Zed’s dad had lived through Lawson—Lawson played football like his dad. Zed played but it wasn’t his thing. He didn’t like the brutality of the sport. Lawson water-skied. Their dad had been a trophy winner in slalom water skiing when he lived in California. Lawson and his dad hunted together. Zed could shoot BBs from the top of a thimble but he didn’t like to kill animals or birds. And since their dad died, his mom obsessed over Lawson in an unhealthy way. It kind of creeped him out. It was like Lawson was Dad’s replacement.
“Your brother is so brave,” his mom gushed.
“Huh,” Zed said, flashing back to the truck wreck. He wasn’t so brave on that night. More like a maniac.
“Bravery comes in lots of forms,” Caitlin said. “Zed’s plenty brave.”
Zed flashed a small, adoring smile at his sister, but shook his head. Caitlin had always stood up for him.
His mom’s eyes slid toward Zed, then back to the certificate. “Of course, you are, dear. But this…he risked his life to save others.” She clutched her hands in front of her sternum. “He could’ve been killed.”
“It’s all right, Ma.” Zed put his arm around his mom’s thin shoulders.
It seemed like everything grew pale and wan after her husband died—her skin sagged on her face, wooed by gravity, her clothes hung on her frame, even her hair drooped in ropy, listless salt and pepper strings.
“He’s alive and well and will be around for a couple weeks on leave.” Not so sure that’s a good thing, he amended to himself. The guy’s off his rocker.
She sniffled, then stiffened, pulling away from Zed. “You can’t cry over the past. You’re right, Zed. Your father’s gone. Lawson’s alive. You’re all alive,” she added, as an afterthought. “Let’s celebrate. Grab the hammer, dear, and help me hang this. I want it front and center.”
Zed sighed, picked up the hammer and little brass hook and nail that came with the frame, and held it against the wall, wanting to smash the glass holding certificate in place into shattered bits. “Is here good?”
His mom put her hand under her chin, as if to keep it from falling to the floor, and studied the wall. “A little higher.”
“Here?”
“Perfect.”
“Should we put huge arrows next to it, too, like rays pointing at the sun?” Zed muttered.
“What?” his mother asked.
Caitlin snickered.
“Nothing.” Zed proceeded to pound the nail into the plasterboard wall, one blow of the hammer seating it firmly in place. His mom and sister stood nearby, watching. When done, he stepped back and his mom moved forward, coming to stand between him and his sister.
She put her arms around their waists. “We’re so lucky to have a war hero in the family.” She gave them each a squeeze.
“Yeah,” Zed said, feeling his stomach churn. “I, uh, I need to grab something out of the truck,” he said, wanting to escape the love fest, of which he felt no part. He quickly peeled h
is mom’s arm from around him and strode away.
“Geez, Mom,” his sister could be heard to say. “Lawson’s not the only member of this family who counts.”
“I know,” her mom said. “Zed takes thing too…”
Those were the last words he said before letting the front door slam behind him with a satisfying thwack. “What is it today, Ma? Too seriously? Sensitively? Personally?” He shook his head wishing this day would be over and he could be pouring his angst into training for the triathlon, and making his nephew proud. He at least had that going for him—a great relationship with his sister’s and other brother’s kids.
Chapter 8
Zed stared at the throng of people, wishing he could disappear. By noon, the yard and house had filled to the brim with partygoers, from the women who wanted to woo Lawson, to friends and family. The late May weather had gone from pouring rain yesterday, to warm and sunny today, as if even the weather gods were shining down on Lawson’s big day, making the yard look fantastic.
“And why wouldn’t it?” Zed muttered. “It’s my design. Not that it matters or anything, Mom.” Wanting to drown his sour mood, he snagged a beer from the tray of a young, stressed looking guy his mom hired to serve food and drinks. He unscrewed the cap and took a long swallow.
One woman, a pretty brunette Zed had been crushing on a year ago, sauntered up to him. He tensed. Next to Lawson, she was one of the last people he wanted to see today.
“Hey, Zed,” she said, a twinkle in her eye. “Haven’t seen you around much.” She put a finger on his chest and traced something. Could have been a heart, but Zed wasn’t certain.
He wrapped his fingers around her single digit and removed it from his chest, taking a step back. “I thought you and Lawson hooked up.”
She shrugged. “We did. It was nothing. And then he went back on tour to the battlefield. We could…” Again her shoulder lifted. “You know.”
“No, thanks, Nora. I’ve moved on.”
“Too bad.” She eyed him speculatively for a moment. “Dating anyone?”
“Not at the moment. Too busy.” His thoughts slid to Beck, then evaporated like a puff of dust. No contact usually meant no interest.
A slow smile crept on her face. “I could help you change your mind,” she said, stepping closer.
“Nah. Not interested. Too much going on. Thanks, though,” he added, not wanting to hurt her feelings. “You were…” He couldn’t think of what to add to the sentence so he merely smiled.
She pressed her lips together. “Where is he, anyway? All these people here on his behalf, he’d better show up.” Her head turned when a big truck rolled up the road. “Who’s that?” she said, eyeing the driver. Her eyes seemed to turn into those of an interested predator. She licked her lips.
“Jace Savage.”
“Ooh, I always wanted to get with him.”
“And his wife and baby.”
She stared at him like he’d turned into a lizard, her face wrinkling in some disgusted countenance. “You guys,” she said, swishing her hand in front of her face. She turned and stalked away.
“Us guys,” Zed said, mimicking her hand movement. “Us guys what?” Zed felt instant relief nothing had ever really happened between them except lukewarm sex. He strode over to the truck as Jace pulled into the designated dirt parking next to the house.
“Wow, big party, huh?” Jace said, stepping from the cab. He opened the smaller back door to his passenger seating in the roomy super cab.
“Unca Zed!” Marni exclaimed, an eager smile on her pretty face. The green ribbons tied in her curls bobbed and her matching green dress rustled as she wiggled.
“You look so pretty,” Zed said, reaching for her.
“Her pretty dress will be covered with dirt, her ribbons will be gone in, I’d say, fifteen minutes tops.” Zoé brushed at nothing on the child’s dress, as if in anticipation.
Marni pushed her hand away. “No. My dress.”
The word dress sound like “dess.” Zed chuckled.
“Yes, your dress,” Zoé said with a sigh. “We’re in the terrible two phase.” She smiled at Zed, then rolled her eyes. “Where’s your scary brother?”
“Not here yet. Wanting to make a late appearance, no doubt. Looks like I see him down the road.” Zed squinted at the dark, glossy green Jeep Wrangler barreling up the one lane street like a bullet flying through the trees. He flinched.
One partygoer yelled, “Here he comes!” and everyone started to gather as if a celebrity was making his way up the road.
“Wow, the guy stirs the crowds, huh?” Jace said, grabbing a beer for himself as the attendant walked by. “Hey, not so fast,” he told the tense looking guy as he walked away.
The young male did an about face. “Huh?”
“My wife.” Jace pointed to Zoé. “She needs one, too.”
“Oh, sorry.” He hustled over to Zoé and handed her a frosty brew.
“You’re doing fine,” Jace said, smiling.
The young guy smiled gratefully, squared his shoulders and stepped through the crowd.
“Thanks, honey.” Zoé smiled up at her husband, twisting off the top of her beverage.
“We’d better not over-do on the booze before training,” he said to Zed.
“How much qualifies for an over-do?”
“I’ll keep you posted, depending on how the day progresses. This looks to be fun.”
“Define fun,” Zed said before pulling from his bottle of amber ale. His gaze trained on the tall, military-cut male emerging from the Jeep to cheers and salutations. Clad in uniform, he looked like that cartoon character, Buzz Lightyear, complete with huge, square jaw. The only thing missing was his spacesuit. “The king has arrived.”
“What the hell did he do to make you despise him?” Jace asked.
“Oh, it won’t take long to see how everyone fawns over him, especially my mom. Ever since dad died she’s taken this unnatural regard toward him. And…” He hesitated, not sure how much he should reveal.
Jace cocked his head and studied Zed. “And what?”
“And we had a rather unpleasant incident last year when he was on leave. Look, I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? It’s family stuff.” He didn’t ever want to talk about it, if he had his way. It was the one thing that had him considering a life of chemical dependency after the accident.
Zoé came up and put her arm around his waist. “We’re part of your family, now, too.”
“True enough. I do spend a fair amount of time with you two since me and Jace made up.”
“Want me to take him out for you?” Jace flexed one of his impressive muscles.
Zed scoffed. “No, Waldo don’t need no bodyguard,” he said in a half joke.
He managed to avoid his brother for most of the afternoon, as everyone ate, drank, oohed and ahhed over his brother’s numerous accomplishments and his tales of daring on the battlefield. Zed eavesdropped from the corner, resentment stewing in his gut, knowing the true story of the incident that supposedly earned him the Medal of Honor. The one I can’t tell anyone, ever.
Shortly before he intended to leave, as he emerged from the bathroom, Zed couldn’t, however, avoid his mom grabbing him and pulling him toward the wretched Wall of Honor.
“Honey, say something about your brother’s accomplishments and then we’ll take a family photo.”
Instant dread washed over Zed like a flash freeze. “Nah, not feeling it.”
“Come on, Caitlin and the others are waiting. I know you can come up with the perfect thing to say.”
“You do it, Ma.” He wanted to add, he’s the perfect son you’re in love with, but bit back the words. He caught Jace and Zoé’s eyes as he passed them and gave them pleading looks.
They immediately turned and started to follow, curious looks on their faces.
His mom pulled him toward the gathering standing by the fucking Wall of Honor.
Grayson, Caitlin, and Lawson all turned to look
at him.
Caitlin appeared sympathetic.
Grayson simply looked like Grayson, the straight-laced accountant. He gave Zed a stiff smile and nodded. Grayson, a quiet guy and the loner of the family, didn’t like these shows of family unity simply because he didn’t like the attention.
Lawson gave Zed a murderous sneer, followed by a brilliant, shark-like smile as a cover-up. “There’s Waldo, I knew we’d find him,” the bastard said. He stood tall and erect like a G.I. Joe action figure, right down to the sculpted veins in his arms and the plastic looking face. He had a woman at each side, neither of whom Zed recognized. They each tittered when he called Zed Waldo.
“Fuck off,” Zed said, under his breath.
“What’s that? I didn’t really catch that.” His brother’s grin grew wider. “You’ll have to speak up.”
“What, lost your hearing in the war, as well as your sense of decency?”
“Boys,” his mom said in a stern tone, her blue eyes sparking. “That’s no way to speak to a war hero, Zed.” She reached out a hand for Caitlin and Grayson and pulled them close to Zed. “Now, Zed will say something to honor Lawson, while you present the certificate, Caitlin.”
“I don’t want to be the one to talk, Ma,” Zed said, more forcefully than he’d intended.
Lawson’s narrowed eyes conveyed all kinds of hatred as he glared at Zed.
Zed wanted to flatten the guy. His fingers curled into fists.
“The certificate’s already hanging on the wall,” Grayson said, stating the obvious, as he often did. “Why do we need to present it again?”
“I’ll say something,” Caitlin quickly interjected, glancing at Zed. She held Cerise, whose small head rested on Caitlin’s shoulder. “You hold the certificate, Grayson. Zed can simply be present. If he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t have to talk, Mom.”
Zed gave her a look of gratitude. She knew more than anyone about the stress between him and Lawson. She didn’t know the whole of it, however, and she didn’t need to know. He had no intention of starting a family feud with his lunatic brother.
