by Selina Rosen
Having made peace with himself, Alexi died on the cold, hard streets of Alsterase, the city of malcontents. He died in the shadow of the prophet and the warlord. A man whom he had used and taken for granted, but who had loved him like a brother, and a woman whom he had loved with all his heart, who had only contempt for him. He died as he had lived, in ambivalence.
Whitey and some others pushed back the crowd. Poley walked from the crowd, blowing smoke from the barrel of the projectile weapon he carried.
"Are you all right?" he asked RJ, and she nodded.
"Yes, thank you, Poley." She hugged the metal man. He hadn't saved her life, but he had kept her secret. She couldn't be sure that any of them would follow her if they knew what she was. To her amazement and delight, the metal man hugged her back. "Getting a little sentimental, aren't we, Tin Pants?"
"I find . . ." his voice dragged, and at that moment sounded every bit as mechanical as it was, ". . . I feel an affection for you," he stammered out. "I'm programmed for affection, you know." He said it defensively.
RJ laughed and hugged him again.
"You are messing up my suit," he informed her.
She kissed him on the cheek, then let him go.
"Did I do a good job watching Alexi?"
Now he was fishing for praise. RJ straightened his collar. "You did an excellent job." She looked to where David knelt over Alexi's body. "I had better go talk to David. You try to get rid of this crowd." The robot nodded, and was gone.
RJ approached David. She put a hand on his shoulder. Behind them, they could hear the crowd. They were understandably upset. A member of the inner circle had tried to kill RJ. Murmurs could be picked out as to what they should do with this traitor's body.
"He's the first friend I've lost in this thing, and he didn't die in battle." David didn't try to hold his tears back any more. "Why did he try to kill you? Why? It doesn't make sense."
"I'm sorry, David," RJ said, consolingly. David was not consoled. He stood up and turned an angry face to her.
"Didn't you hear what he said, RJ? Can't you feel something for him?" he said angrily.
RJ wasn't particularly in the mood. "I never liked him, David. You know that. For God's sake, his last living act was to try to shoot me in the back! Excuse me if I'm having a little bit of trouble mourning his passing. I can feel sorry that you lost a friend, but I can't grieve for Alexi, and I won't pretend to. He was a snake and a worm, and I won't miss him in the slightest. One day, David, you will have to decide just where your loyalties lie."
But David wasn't listening. "If you had just been nice to him. If you could have just tried to get along with him. Treated him like a human being!" David screamed, and then accused, "You killed him."
RJ was cool. Her voice low and calm, which made what she said almost worse. "No, David. You killed him."
David started to scream at her again.
"No, David. Think about it."
He thought about it, and his face fell.
"As I said, David. I am sorry for your loss." She turned and walked away in the direction of the Golden Arches, leaving David alone with the corpse in the middle of the screaming mob.
He couldn't stay here anymore. He needed to get away from Alexi. He would try not to think about what the people would do to the body. It was just a shell after all. He looked one more time at the body of his fallen comrade. "I'm sorry, Alexi." He ran for the hotel and slowed only when he reached the lobby. RJ was right. He had killed Alexi. RJ had warned him. Warned him from the first of Alexi's treacherous nature. But he hadn't listened.
He saw Dex, the fat man who ran the hotel poised mouth open, ready to speak.
"Don't worry, Dex. We're not bringing him home," David said angrily.
"I was just going to say how sorry I am. He was the only one of you slobs with an ounce of manners to his credit. Guess he must have flipped his cookies. Really no wonder, living with a bunch of wackos."
"Thanks, Dex," David said sincerely, and started up the stairs. He started to go to his room, then thought better of it. He wasn't quite ready to let go of Alexi. He decided to go to Alexi's room. Perhaps there he would find a clue to what had just taken place.
David walked into the room. It had a military orderliness about it, much like RJ's. It seemed that Reliance tidiness had stayed with them even when Reliance loyalty had not.
Now that was odd. All the clothes were out of the closet, and lying on the bed. The closet door was open. He must have been cleaning his closet. Mechanically, David picked up the clothes and started to put them away. The smell hit him just as he reached the closet door, and he grimaced. He looked in and saw a hole in the wall with a five-gallon bucket in front of it for a seat. He didn't want to know this about his friend, but some imp of perversity made him look anyway. He saw RJ's bed, frowned, straightened, and threw the clothes to the floor.
No wonder Alexi had taken to staying in his room all night. He had his very own masturbatorium complete with a built-in peep show. No doubt Whitey and RJ put on quite a show. "Oh, Alexi," David sighed. He walked quickly away from the closet and sat down on the bed, sickened. David had to work quickly. He might not be the only one who would decide to come here tonight. He didn't want Alexi remembered as a pervert as well as a would-be assassin. He also didn't want RJ to know that her private moments hadn't been quite so private after all.
By the time David was finished cleaning up the mess on the floor, patching the hole, and putting Alexi's clothes away, he believed every bad word RJ had ever had to say about Alexi. Finished, he closed the closet door and glared at it for a long time. "God damn you, Alexi!" David finally left Alexi's room, shutting the door firmly behind him. He felt drained. Alexi was dead, killed trying to assassinate RJ. Because, in some sick and perverted way, had he loved her. None of it made any sense.
Alexi must have been quietly going mad for some time, and David had been too wrapped up in all that he was doing to notice. Alexi had needed help. There had probably been a million little signs, but no one had noticed. Or, if they had, they didn't care. David had wondered why Alexi hadn't wanted to tag along with him on his nightly quest for fresh meat, but he had said nothing to Alexi. Hadn't even asked if there was a problem. He liked being on his own again, so he had said nothing. Selfish! He was a selfish bastard, more concerned with having a good time than trying to help a friend. Thinking about it, he realized now that he had known Alexi was in trouble for a long time, but he hadn't cared enough to put himself out.
Well, he had done it. Now he felt like dirt.
He opened the door to his room and found Sandra standing in the middle of it. She was clad—barely—in an extremely short black silk robe that hung open with the tie trailing the ground. Now, David had seen his share of women, and he tended to be a little jaded, but Sandra was a very healthy girl. He swallowed hard.
"Can I help you, Sandy?" he asked, forcing coolness into his voice.
"I thought maybe I could help you," she said huskily. "I thought you might like some . . . company."
David crossed the room in two steps and swept her into his arms.
Sandra was famous, or infamous, for participating in sex for the fun of it, or for what she could get out of her partner. If she wanted to move up a rank in the military, she screwed a Major. If she wanted a better living compartment, she slept with the building manager. If she wanted out of prison, she slept with the guard, and when that wasn't enough, she slept with the warden. When she needed transportation, she slept with the man who drove the delivery van.
She had never really cared. Oh, most of the time, it had been pleasant, and sometimes it had been satisfying. A lot of the time, she had done it because she needed to feel wanted, or needed.
But Sandra loved David, and that made all the difference in the world. She wasn't screwing David, she was making love to him. Suddenly, the whole sexual ritual had an almost religious feeling.
Afterwards, she lay wrapped around him, thinking about things like
kids and house pets for the first time in her life. His offhand "Thank you" wasn't enough.
"I love you, David," she said expectantly.
"Thank you, Sandra," he said again, no doubt because he couldn't think of anything else to say.
Sandra sank back onto the bed. It hadn't meant a damn thing to him. It had changed her world, but he had made love to her the same way she had made love to countless men. With his body, not his heart. To him, she was just one more girl he'd fucked. For the first time in her life she felt cheap and used.
He touched her arm, and she jerked out of his grasp.
"Ah, come on, Sandy," David said in a pleading tone. "It was wonderful. You were terrific." He stroked her arm, and kissed her cheek. This time, she didn't jerk away. "Wasn't it good, baby?"
"Yes," she admitted grudgingly.
"Then don't blow it by being pissed off now." He turned her chin with his hand and kissed her. She kissed him back without hesitation. "Ahh! That's better." It usually was the second time.
The inner circle journeyed to Topaz's Fort, where they prepared for the broadcast.
"I don't see why we don't broadcast to the entire world. We have the capability," David said. He was nervous and excited, but not so much so that he couldn't argue this point with RJ one more time.
"I am not going to go through all this again," RJ said hotly.
"Well, try one more time, because it still doesn't make any sense to me!" David screamed back, just as hot. He was tired of being pushed aside as if any point he made were invalid.
"We don't have time for this, David. Just get ready."
Poley watched this exchange and frowned. Something wasn't quite right about David.
Right burst into Jessica's office and flipped on her viewing screen. "Right! What the . . ." she didn't need to finish her question; her answer was staring out of the screen at her.
". . . we have troops, and they are armed and trained. We have led many successful attacks against the Reliance, and . . ."
"David Grant," Jessica hissed.
"He's on every viewing screen across the zone," Right informed her.
"Then get him off!" Jessica ordered tersely.
"We're trying. We're doing everything we can, Jessy."
". . . the Reliance is not infallible. It is not unbeatable," David Grant droned on. "I was imprisoned by the Reliance for unlawful assembly. My only crime was to want something better for my people. For this, I was taken to a logging prison to die. But I didn't. I broke out of prison without help. From those humble beginnings, I have carved out a new order. The New Alliance. I have built an army. A strong army, an army capable of toppling the Reliance . . ."
"He!" Jessica laughed, but not too happily. "Is RJ now trying to get us to believe that David Grant is capable of doing any more than tying his own shoes? Who the hell is she trying to kid?" Jessica launched herself from her chair. "I've got to try to shut him up."
"We've already tried, Jessy."
"Yes! But you are incompetent fools!" She stomped out of the office.
Topaz stood next to RJ and watched as David gave his speech. He frowned. David's head was getting so big it was in danger of bursting at any moment.
"I'm not asking you to take up arms a go after the Reliance yourselves. I'm saying that now would be a good time for your eyesight and hearing to become impaired. What you don't see or hear could make the difference between life and death for a member of the rebellion. Whether we succeed or fail may not be determined by the skill of our well-trained troops, or the brilliance of our General, but by the discretion of a few hard-working citizens." The sign Topaz made told him he was running out of time. "The Reliance tells us that we are free. I say if this is freedom, we must break these chains of freedom and learn to be true to ourselves again."
Transmission was closed. Topaz nodded. They had closed the transmission themselves. The Reliance hadn't been able to scramble them before they could deliver their message, and they didn't give them enough time to trace its source. RJ stood silently as she watched everyone congratulating each other.
"You'd better reel him in, RJ," Topaz said from behind her.
"What does that mean?" she asked, turning to face him.
"I think you know what I mean," he smiled.
"It was a good speech . . ."
"Yes, if you think that David Grant is a god. He's trying to convince the world that he is single-handedly taking down the Reliance. We all know it's our hard work, and your brains and skill which is pulling the whole thing off."
"I don't want any credit," RJ said, her brow furrowing in confusion.
"Nor do I." Topaz nodded his head, indicating that he wanted her to follow him, so she did. "I've worked most of my very long life on all of this. The raids on the prisons and the transmission tonight would have been impossible without all my preparation. For all that, I can truthfully say that I want no credit. But I don't want David Grant taking credit for it, either." They started walking down a long, dimly lit hall. "I've been around a long time, and I've seen it happen a million times—oh, yes, at least that. You take some little shit nobody, give him a little power, and before you know it, he thinks he invented God. Some people can handle power. You, for example, do a very good job. So, for that matter—to blow my own horn—do I. But you and I didn't grow up on the underneath side of a shovel, and the power itself is not as important to us as what we can do with it. David used to be that way, but now . . . Well, he's getting out of hand, that's all."
"He . . . he hasn't actually done anything."
"Your problem, RJ, is that you're allowing your feelings for David to cloud your judgment concerning him. You're just fine dealing with everything else, but when it comes to your friends, you're blind. You won't believe anything bad about them. You refuse to see that they just might have a character flaw. For instance that huge boyfriend of yours . . ."
"There's nothing wrong with Whitey," RJ said defensively.
"The man did stick a hatchet in his wife's head. Did you ever ask him why?"
"I suppose he didn't like her," RJ said with a shrug. "What's your point?"
"The point is that just because you like someone doesn't mean you shouldn't question their motives," Topaz said with a smile. RJ's brow furrowed with concentration, and Topaz's smile broadened. This was a physical trait that she had, no doubt, inherited from her father. "In short, there is nothing wrong with thinking that David is acting like a pompous little ass, because he is."
"What would you like me to do about it?"
"I want you to talk to him. Knock him down a peg or two before he gets completely out of control," Topaz said, stopping in his stride and turning to face RJ. "Do something before he does something."
"With all due respect, Topaz, what 'something?' He lives for the rebellion; he's not going to do anything to jeopardize it. I don't really think that having an inflated opinion of one's self makes one a candidate for disciplinary action." RJ kicked at a pebble on the floor. "But, if it will make you feel better, I'll try to have a talk with him. Come on, let's get back to the others."
They started back towards the main control room. Suddenly, Topaz stopped. He wet his dry lips with his tongue. "RJ, there's something I've been wanting to tell you . . ." She turned to look at him, and he lost his nerve.
"I'm listening," RJ said after a pause that was all together too long.
Topaz immediately went to the wall and started to run his hand methodically over it. "Now I know it's here somewhere."
RJ smiled indulgently and leaned against the other wall. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched him. "What are you looking for?" RJ asked, shaking her head. "And, more important, what were you about to say?"
He continued to study the wall closely, but started to speak. "Do you believe in Fate?" he asked, then didn't give her a chance to answer. "Some people believe that everything that happens in life is just . . . well, coincidence. But I don't see how it could be. Do you?" Again, he didn't let her answe
r. "I mean, when something as random as meeting a beautiful, dark-haired girl in a bar one night winds up changing the whole world, maybe even the universe . . . I begin to wonder if we have any real control over our lives at all." He fell silent, still checking the wall.
RJ thought about what he had said, and could find nothing in her life that would prove his theory wrong. What were the odds against her being on one side of this thing, and J-6 on the other? What were the odds on a man running blind from prison and running smack into the only person who could help him in his plans against the Reliance? She had kicked Whitey Baldor in the balls because he was the biggest guy in the bar. She'd wanted to make an impression on Alsterase quickly, and it worked. But that big jerk had fallen in love with her somewhere along the way, and risked everything to be with her.
