by Shyla Colt
The pigs dancing around the syrup-covered pancake statue with a large pick in the center makes me smile. Brilliant colors and whimsical features create a magical environment. I’ve yet to set foot inside, and the trip has already been a memorable one. My eyes are assaulted by brightly colored walls, bold diamond patterns, fast food murals, and multicolored vinyl booths. A wall of rubber ducks stands out, confusing and amusing me.
“What in the world?” I crane my neck to take it all in.
“Welcome to Sugar and Spice, babe.”
“Hey!” Micah waves as we spot the Davenports taking up the center island.
Rachael beams up at me, and I hold on to the fact that I have at least two allies in her and Micah.
“It’s nice of you to finally show up,” Luka drawls.
His wife, Olive, slaps his chest playfully. “Don’t listen to him, Ash. We literally got here five minutes before you. Good morning, guys.”
“Morning.” I smile as we take our seat at the end of the row beside Micah.
“I saved you a seat.” Micah winks, causing me to grin.
“So are we calling her your girlfriend now, or are you still telling us you’re just friends?” Rachael asks cheerfully.
“Jesus, Rach. Is motherhood making you even more ruthless?” Micah asks.
“I realize you already know her, but yes, this is Clara, my girlfriend. If she’ll have me that is,” Ash whispers. Our gazes lock, and I give a slow nod. The label shouldn’t be a big deal, and yet it is. After weeks of dating, we’re progressing. He entwines our fingers, and we join the conversation around us and place our orders. His family is inquisitive. It’s clear they’re close, and protective, which I appreciate. If I had a sibling, I’m sure I’d feel the same. My mouth waters as our server, Becky, sets down the Waffles and Wings dish in front of me. Golden chicken rests on a thin, perfectly cooked waffle drizzled with thick, dark syrup. The conversation falls away as we all dig into our dishes.
“Asher?”
An older woman pauses a few feet away. He sets down his drink and turns. His face loses its color, and he stands. “Mrs. Bisset.”
What am I missing?
“I thought that was you. How are you?” She pats his cheek.
I tense. The familiarity and adoration are that of a relative. I turn to Micah. Who is that? He glances from me to his siblings nervously. My stomach sours.
“How’ve you been?” Asher asks gently.
“I’ve been good. Howard is going to be sorry he missed you. I’m here with my sister, Mariam. You remember her, don’t you?”
Asher peers over her shoulder and waves at a short, gray-haired woman seated in a booth across the room.
“It’s good to see your family is still so close. Seeing you grow and flourish just fills my heart with joy. It’s good to see you again Olive. Is this your sister?” Mrs. Bisset inquires.
“No. This is my friend, Clara.”
“Oh.” The happiness bleeds from her face. “I see. Well, I won’t keep you. It was lovely seeing all of you again.” She gives a shaky smile before she pivots and returns to her sister, clearly shaken. The heartbroken expression on Ash’s face makes my heart ache.
“Hey. What’s going on?”
“We should go,” he says roughly.
“I’ll cover breakfast, brother. You should get some air,” Luka says smoothly.
Ash nods his thanks and holds out his hand. I open my mouth and close it as he ushers me out of the restaurant quickly.
“What was that?”
“That was Holly’s mother.”
“Oh, God.” I cover my mouth. My stomach clenches. “Were you embarrassed by me?”
“What? No. I just … I wasn’t prepared for that, Clara. They’ve never seen me with anyone else.”
“Ever?”
“No. My dating was casual at best, so it never came up.” His words are short.
I’m torn between understanding, and being upset at what feels like a snub. Feelings and logic often run in two completely different directions. For this reason, I chose silence. Placing my hands on my lap, I press my head against the cool pane of glass.
ASHER
There’s a special kind of guilt that comes from being wrong. It’s been eating at me like corrosive acid since Clara and I parted ways a few nights earlier. She didn’t fuss or demand an apology. It was her kindness that pressed down on my chest like a weight. I should’ve apologized, and made it right immediately. Instead, I’ve let it drag on. The silence between us unsettles me. I run my hand down my face. The urge to visit Holly is strong.
I follow my instincts to the Arlington Memorial Gardens, where she and the baby are buried. It’s been months since I visited the grave, but I talk to her in my mind often. I don’t believe the people we love ever truly leave us. Their spirits aren’t bound to the plot of land where we bury them. I drive through the open gate into the sprawling green space. I chose this place because of its beauty and their unique approach.
The Garden was taken literally in their name. Flowers, bridges over ponds, and beautiful statues create a peaceful place that felt appropriate for my wife and child. The focus they put on preserving memories and holding events like Easter Sunrise services, were an added bonus. I feel like they celebrate life, in a way many cemeteries don’t.
Parking the car, I make the walk to the memorial that sits on a thick stone slab. An image of a mother and child are etched on a black stone carved to bring the silhouettes to life. The work of art connects to a bench made of the same dark stone. I wanted a comfortable place to be with them. Taking a seat, I close my eyes.
“It’s been a while since I came to visit. Life’s been busy, and I didn’t feel like this was where I needed to be at the time. I’ve made the decision to date again. Her name’s Clara, and you’d love her, Hol. She’s smart, sweet, and so giving. Her ability to care for others amazes me. I didn’t mean for it to get so serious, and now I can’t imagine life without her. We clicked. From there we started doing things together. It’s more fun than I’ve had in years. We’ve rediscovered the city together, and somewhere in that process, my emotions started to change. It snuck up on me. The attraction was always there, but it’s grown into the possibility of much more.” The words of honesty are as much for me as they are to Holly. Even now, she’s helping me clear out my cluttered headspace.
“What we had together is untouchable. Regardless of where my relationship goes with Clara, I’ll never forget you or love you less. If she’s the woman I believe her to be, she’ll understand and accept that. You and Jules are the best thing I ever did in my life.” My voice cracks. I clear my throat and swallow. “Even with the way things turned out, I wouldn’t change a thing about our life together. We lived so much during our years together it felt like we had two lifetimes together instead of one.” The past plays in my head like a movie. Homecoming, prom, graduation, our marriage, and vacations flood my brain. Warmth rises inside of me and bursts from my throat in laughter tinged with tears.
It’s a cathartic soul cleansing I hadn’t been able to have a year ago. This is the start of truly letting go. I stand a man at the start of metamorphosis. Perspective adjusted, a spark long doused flickers to life. Hope is an incredible thing.
“I screwed up, but I’m going to fix it.” For a moment, I swear I catch the scent of her vanilla perfume. I tilt my head up to the sun beaming down on me and smile. The drive to the home where I spent so many years is odd. I haven’t been back to visit my in-laws in over a year. I used to check in on them often, but over time that ended. I pull into the modest-sized ranch and walk up to the front door. After knocking, I shove my hands into my blue jeans. The door swings open and Mrs. B’s face lights up.
“Asher! What a pleasant surprise.”
“Hi, Mrs. B.” Bending down, I accept her hug. She still smells like freshly baked cookies and sunshine.
“Come on inside. George, look who came to visit us.”
I step inside and smil
e at the thin, white-haired man with kind brown eyes, crow’s feet, and laugh lines around his mouth.
“Ash. It’s good to see you.” He rises from his lazy boy, and I walk over to hug him. “What brings you by?”
“I realized how long it’d been since I came by, and I wanted to talk to you about a few things.”
“Well, have a seat.” He gestures toward the sofa. I perch on the edge and angle my body to face him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you, Mrs. B. You caught me unaware at the restaurant. It’s been a long road since we lost Holly. No one could ever replace her, and her memory is etched into my brain. She’ll always be my first love, and the mother of my child, but recently I’ve come to see it’s time for me to step back into the land of the living. I met a woman who makes me want to be a better person. I hurt her when I called her a friend.”
“Oh, Ash. We never expected you to stay single forever. You’re young, and we still see so many great things in yur future like fatherhood. I’m sorry if I made you feel that we didn’t,” Mrs. B replies.
“It’s nothing you did. I panicked, and hurt the one person who means the most to me.”
“It sounds like you have some groveling to do, son,” Mr. B says seriously. Their easy acceptance of the new developments in my life makes me grin.
“Son, you were a godsend for our Holly. Without you, I’m not sure she would’ve lived as well for as long as she did. You gave her purpose, and the ability to dream. We’re forever indebted to you for that. You were the answer to our prayers.”
“I was the lucky one.”
Mrs. B gives a chocked laugh. “And that’s an example of the incredible blessing you were to her. You loved her as she was. You’ve always got a place at our table along with any woman who captures your heart. Because we know she must be special. We’ve prayed for you to find peace and love again. We saw your struggle, and it tore us up. You’re as much our son as she was our daughter.”
The words lance the rancid boil that had festered inside of me. I’ve spent so long living with false assumptions it hits me like a sharp blow to the chest. “Thank you,” I whisper, humbled.
“Bring your young lady by for dinner on Sunday. We’ll have a nice long visit, and do what we can to put her at ease. I feel awful that I helped cause dissension between you.”
“I’ll do that. Thank you for always being here for me, especially after my parents died.”
“We’ll always be here for you, son. Remember that,” Mr. B states.
“I will. I have to get going now. I have some apologizing to do.”
She opens the door, and I’m struck by how adorable she is in an over-sized Star Wars sleep shirt.
“Hi,” I say softly.
“Hey.” Her lackadaisical response makes me cringe.
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah.” She steps back, and I follow her, closing the door behind me.
“I thought long and hard about how this conversation would go. I thought of bringing you flowers and candy. Maybe buying you a gift. But none of it seemed like enough. So, instead, I visited Holly’s grave, and went to see my old in-laws.” Her jaw drops. “Because I wanted you to see how much you mean to me. I can see how my response would’ve made you feel unwanted, but that’s not the case. I was worried about hurting Mrs. B. She’s been through hell and back. My desire to prevent her from experiencing more pain, hurt you. I hate that. I went over today and set the record straight. They’re like my parents and an important part of my life. They’d like to have us both over for dinner.”
“Are you serious?”
“I am.” Grabbing her hand, I kneel in front of her. “I had a good past. But you are my future. In every version I imagine for myself, you are by my side. Not speaking to you over the past couple of days was hell on Earth. I wanted to call you a million times, but I had to work things out before I did. You deserve a man who’s whole and fully devoted to seeing to your fulfillment, growth, and happiness. I can now say with confidence, I’m that man.”
“Asher …”
“I am falling in love with you, Clara. Please, don’t let my misstep ruin us.”
Tears trail down her face. “I’m falling in love with you, too. And it terrifies me.”
“Good, we can be scared together,” I whisper.
She laughs, and I stand. “I won’t say what you did didn’t hurt, but I understand what a tough position you were placed in. One of the things I love most about you is your care and concern for those closest to you. I appreciate your apology and the way you made things right with your in-laws. I’d be honored to go to dinner at their house. We’re going to have misunderstandings, but I will not tolerate disrespect.”
“Nor should you,” I agree. I twine my fingers in her hair. “Are we okay?”
“We will be.”
“Good.” I brush my lips against hers and the sparks crackle to life between us. She tastes sweet and refreshing like the breath of fresh air she’s breathed into my life. We tilt our heads, deepening the kiss, and sealing our new promise for the future.
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The End
About the Author
Shyla Colt is the sassy USA Today Bestselling author of the popular series Kings of Chaos and Dueling Devils M.C. This genre-hoppers stories feature three of her favorite things: strong females, pop culture, and alternate routes to happy ever after. Listening to her Romani soul, she pens from the heart, allowing the dynamic characters, eccentric interests, and travels as a former flight attendant to take her down untraveled roads.
Born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, this mid-west girl is proud of her roots. She used her hometown and the surrounding areas as a backdrop for a number of books. So, if you’re a Buckeye, keep an eye out for familiar places.
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As a full-time writer, stay at home mother, and wife, there's never a dull moment in her household.
She weaves her tales in spare moments and the evenings with a cup of coffee or tea at her side and the characters in her head for company.
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You can interact with Shyla Colt online via her website
www.shylacolt.net
