by Simone Elise
So it was official – I was heading back to Snake’s Valley Victoria in the middle of the night.
At least it was only an hour away.
***
I leaned with one foot up against the car, dialing his number.
“Hello?” His voice was clipped. I could hear the rage in it.
“It’s Abby.”
The end of the phone was swallowed with silence.
“Look, I know that you most likely don’t want to talk to me right now.” I ran my free hand through my hair. I took a sharp breath in. God, it was cold out here. “But I kind of drove over here to see you.”
Silence.
“Can you say something?” I kicked the tire. “Anything?”
“Where are you?”
I dropped my head back. Finally, he speaks. “Around the corner from Ben’s carwash.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He ended the call.
I leaned back against the car, feeling all kinds of stupid. Stupid for shooting him. Stupid for coming back here. Stupid for calling him. What was I getting myself into? What did I expect to happen, coming here in the dead of the night?
I unlocked the car and got back in. Like fuck I was standing out there in the cold.
***
I heard him before I saw him. The familiar rumbling of his Harley pipes. I popped open the car door and got out just as he rounded the corner, pulling up to the curb.
What the fuck was I going to say to him now?
I had driven here.
I had called him.
Now he was here.
But I didn’t know what next.
He kicked the stand of his bike out, leaning it to the side, and climbed off.
It was dark, and it was cold. But nothing compared to what I felt inside. Seeing him made me feel a lot of everything, and I couldn’t lie to myself and say what I did to him hadn’t affected me. Cause it had. It had pulled me from the numbness and the coldness that I was living with every day.
It had pulled me back to reality. And reality had slapped me hard across the face. All those lives I had taken hadn’t woke me up. Every time Damon said I was one of his girls, it hadn’t woke me up from the life I had created. What had pulled me from it was shooting the man I once loved.
I got out of the car and turned to face him. “Hey.” I didn’t know what to say. Should I start telling him how sorry I was? Why was I getting the feeling he wouldn’t care anyway?
He didn’t leave his bike, standing next to it, just giving me a dirty look. God, he must be disgusted with me.
“I know it would have taken a lot from you to come out and talk to me.” I knew it went against his pride, against the better half of him. Coming to see me was a big thing, so I would accept his silence.
“You got a whole lot of explaining to do.” He grunted and hung his helmet on the handlebars. “Like why the fuck you are wearing that gang's mark on your shoulder.”
“We’ll get there, but first…” I took a step closer to him and away from the car. “I wanted to say sorry. For shooting you. I’m sorry.”
Did sorry even cut it when it came to shooting someone?
How the fuck was I meant to know? I was new to this. The people I normally shot didn’t live. I didn’t have to worry about how they felt about me shooting them.
“You didn’t shoot me, sweetheart. Got steel-toed boots and for the first fucking time in my life, I was glad to be wearing them.” His voice was hard and cold while he kept his distance from me.
“So I didn’t shoot you?”
“Why, was the guilt eating at you?”
Is guilt eating at me? Was that it? Was that what was consuming me?
“I don’t know anymore.” It was the honest goddamn truth. I didn’t know about anything anymore. I didn’t know what I was doing, where I was heading. All I knew was I was on this ride, and it wasn’t stopping, and it was slowly speeding up, causing me to get dizzier with each passing moment.
I was close to fucking passing out from it.
I slid down the bonnet and brought my knees to my chest. The road was as cold as the night.
“I’m sorry for shooting you anyway.”
He said nothing.
“Seems I’m feeling sorry for a lot of fucking things lately.” I had gone through months of not feeling anything and now in one night, I was feeling every single emotion possible.
Silence.
It was suffocating the feelings that were consuming me right now. As if I knew that we were over, yet at the same time, I was clinging to any chance that there was still something there. Time could pass, it could pass slowly, fast, but it didn’t change one thing: we were still us.
We had a history between us. But more importantly, we had love between us, and time didn’t affect love, or at least I hoped it didn’t affect our love.
“You got new ink on your shoulder, Abby.”
I patted my pants down for a cigarette, sighing when I found one. “Yeah, add that to the list.”
“You regret it?”
My eyes bounced up, locking with his. “Life’s too short for regrets, or at least that is what someone told me.”
“Even I’ve got regrets, darling. This life gives you regrets on a fucking silver platter. This life makes you colder, and there is a coldness in you now, Abby. I don’t like seeing it. It was what I was trying to protect you from. You always had an innocent heart, and now something got inside it and fucked around with it, and I don’t like it.”
I stared at the cigarette, watching it burn. “I’ve killed people. Me. Abigail Harrison.” I shook my head in disgust. “If only Dad could see me now.”
I was always the quiet girl. Kept to myself. Then I fell head over heels in love with Reaper and nose planted. Then how do I cope? I run and get involved in a gang. Get so deep that I take their ink. Now. Now I was just screwed the fuck up.
“He wants to see you. He wants you both back home where you belong.”
“I don’t belong anywhere.” I dragged myself up off the road and stood in front of him. “I really am sorry for shooting you.”
“You were cold. You weren’t you. I knew that when my eyes locked with yours. Something was wrong; something had happened to my girl.”
His girl.
“Ain’t gonna lie, Abby. Miss you fucking terribly, babe. I want you back, and I’m not stopping till you’re back to being my baby girl.”
Silent tears slid down my cheeks. His baby girl. Was I even capable of that?
“Things have changed. I’ve changed.”
I hadn’t even realized he had left his bike until his hand lifted my chin. “You can come back from this. I’ll fucking take all the bad from you, and you can go back to being you. Ain’t ever gonna stop trying to make you mine.”
My hand ran down his worn leather vest, resting over his heart. “I’ve always been yours.” My eyes stared up into his. Didn’t he realize it? That no matter what happened, where I was, my heart still belonged to him?
“Then let me help you come back.”
“Isn’t that easy. I’ve got guilt. I’ve got commitments. Fuck it. I’ve got their ink on me. I’m part of something now, something I can’t just walk away from.”
“You can.”
“There will be heat.”
“Heat I can take. Babe, I’m the motherfucking Reaper. My reputation is enough to keep the fuckers at bay. No one is going to dare come and hurt the woman I love.”
I love.
My mouth opened, and I just stared up at him.
“Come home, darling.” He ran his knuckles down my cheek. “Let me fix this mess.” He then cupped my cheeks, dipping his eyes to mine. “Let me have you back.”
I couldn’t do this, could I?
After everything I had done, was it possible to just turn around and go back home? Go back to my Reaper?
“I’ve hardened.”
“Ain’t no reason for you to be hard darling, which is why you need to come back hom
e.”
“I can’t live with Dad again.”
“That’s a fucking good thing, because I’m being patched in as President of the South Charter next week.”
My mouth dropped open. “What, since when?”
“Since their President dropped off the face of the planet. The boys are hardened crims, need a leader that isn’t afraid of getting dirty and can handle their bullshit.”
“So we wouldn’t be going back home?”
“No.”
Why did that make me feel better?
“So things wouldn’t go back to being the same?”
“No.”
“We wouldn’t be under my father's thumb.”
“No.”
I took a deep breath. I wanted this. I wanted him. It was like he was offering everything I ever wanted, and I just had strings keeping me away from grabbing it.
“I have to handle things back home. The gang won’t just let me walk, especially now that I have their ink, and I know things. Things they aren’t just going to let wander off.”
“Yeah well, you have me. No way in fucking hell are they getting close to you with me in front of you.”
How could he still want me after how damaged I had become?
I dropped my head on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around me. Closing my eyes, now this felt like home. It felt right. Safe.
“I need to go back, talk to Kim.” I pulled back, meeting his eyes. “Give me your phone.”
He frowned but pulled it out of his pocket, handing it to me.
“Now you have my number.” I handed it back to him. “I can’t run away with you tonight Reaper, but maybe one day.”
He pulled me back in and kissed my cheek. “Handle your sister, then call me with how you go.”
I was going to talk to Kim, and then I was going to do everything and anything possible to be with him. I still couldn’t believe he was going to take me. With all the shit that now came with me, he still wanted me.
Chapter 4
Abby
“Earth to Abby.” Kim clicked her manicured nails in my face. “I swear you have been out of it all morning.”
I dragged my eyes off the coffee cup and met her curious eyes. “What were you saying?”
“I was saying,” she lowered her voice, “have you spoken to Damon about…you know.”
“About what?” Damon strolled into the kitchen.
“Was about to ask her the same question.” I brought the cup to my lips and sipped the coffee down. I needed to wake up. I didn’t get in until late last night after leaving Kade and driving home.
“About what happened on the job, I was going to say.” Kim’s eyes bounced off mine and stared down at her breakfast. Why did I have a feeling she was lying?
“As far as I am concerned, it went to plan.” He was a hell of a lot calmer than last night. He pulled up a stool next to me. “One of you should have shot that Reaper in the head. That man leaves a trail of corpses wherever he goes. Would have done the world a favor.”
My stomach tightened, and now I felt like I couldn’t even stomach the coffee in front of me. Even when I got home last night, I couldn’t sleep. My mind just spun with the ‘what ifs’. What if I left to live with Kade? What if he was right and the gang didn’t care if I walked? What if I got shot in the head for even suggesting it?
“Dad is going to be hot on to us now.” Kim sliced her eggs up. “We should think about moving on.”
My eyes flickered between Damon and her.
“What do you mean, Kim?” Damon’s eyes were frozen on her, like the calm before the fucking storm.
“I mean that the last thing my sister and I want is to be found by our father. He knows we’re involved with you now, which means he will bring up hell itself and make us live in it when he comes for us. It isn’t worth it.” She looked me straight in the eye. “We need to move the fuck on.”
“I don’t think you fully understand, Kim. You don’t just leave us when you feel like it.” Damon calmly put the paper down. “In fact, you don’t leave at all.”
“I’m more scared of my father than I am of you,” she scoffed. “Especially considering how Abby left things.”
“She’s right.” I cut Damon off before he could say anything. “We should move on. I was thinking about it last night.”
“So what, you just keep running from this man?” Damon looked at us. “For two girls with a hell of a lot of guts, you sure are gutless when it comes to this man.”
“He’s our father,” we both said together.
“He won’t stop hunting us till he finds us,” I said.
“Then let him come, and I can deal with him personally if you like.” Damon’s voice had a hidden darkness to it. The man was straight up cold and hard. I have no doubt he would enjoy dealing with it personally.
The man was a sick, twisted bastard; that was what made him great for his role.
I slid off the stool. “Damon, Kim, and I do need to leave. I don’t know how that settles with you or how to deal with the gang, but we can’t stay here. If we do, we will only be dragged back to that clubhouse, most likely by our hair.”
Was this our way out?
Could it work?
I watched his eyes narrow and his nostrils flare. “You can’t just fucking walk away.”
“Not walking away, Damon.” I put my cup in the sink. “We’re fucking running away.”
Kim glanced at me. “I thought it was going to take you a lot more to agree with me.”
“I knew last night what we had to do.”
And I did.
We had to go home.
I had to settle the bad blood with Dad. Kim had to work her shit out with Trigger and admit she fucking loved that twisted man, and I had to face my relationship with Kade. Whether that be together or not together.
“You two can leave.” Damon spoke, nearly knocking the fucking wind from my chest, “after the next job.”
“What’s the next job?” I cocked my head to the side, waiting for the catch.
“Getting my money back from the Satan’s Sons.” He stood up, a sick, twisted smirk on his face. “Come on girls, you didn’t really expect me to just let those thousands and thousands be written off cause you had some guilt about taking it?”
I looked at Kim.
We were so fucking screwed.
***
We didn’t get any alone time till late that afternoon, and as soon as Damon pulled out the driveway, Kim was banging on my door.
“Come in.”
“Abby, we need to fucking talk.” She closed the door behind her.
I stood up; time to come clean with her.
“I saw Reaper last night.”
“I saw Trigger last night.”
We spoke at the same time.
“What!?” “WHAT!?” Again, we spoke at the same time.
We stared at each other, now silent.
How was it possible that she went and saw Trigger last night? I would have seen her, wouldn’t I? My mind ran wild as I couldn’t believe she had snuck out to go see him.
“You go first,” I prompted her, waving my hands for her to hurry up.
“I want to go home. Trigger and I, well, we worked things out, and sure, it isn’t going to be easy, but I want to try.” She stared down at her feet, looking guilty. “I know that this was my idea but Abby, I want out. I want to go home. I want to work things out with Dad.”
She had tasted life without the safety of the club, and clearly she didn’t like it.
“Trigger said that Dad misses us and wants us home. He even said that Dad has been going out of his mind with worry.”
“Kim, stop.” I put my hand out, silencing her. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I get it. Like I said, I went to see Reaper last night.”
“How did that go?” She looked uneasy asking.
“Worked out I didn’t shoot him.”
“Really?”
“Steel-capped boots. Did
n’t get him.”
“God, you must feel better knowing that.”
I sighed, sitting down on the bed. “Not really.”
“So you two, are you going to work it out?”
“He wants to try.”
“And you?”
“I want to try too, but look at the mess we got ourselves in, Kim. We can’t expect the club to hand that money over, and Damon chose that as our condition for a reason because he knows we can’t do it.”
“We should call Dad, tell him everything and get his input.”
She was right, we should. Dad would know what to do. But we were grown women, and we got ourselves into this mess.
“We shouldn’t call him.” I stood up. “We should go see him.”
And just like that, things went from complicated to a fucking mess.
Chapter 5
Abby
They say you build your life on mistakes and experiences, and I would agree with that. Sitting here, clenching the steering wheel, I had to ask myself: how did I get here?
How did I go from drawing and dreaming about a man I could never have to here? How had I let myself fall down this rabbit hole? I should have known better. But one mistake led to another and soon, a snowball effect happened and before I knew it, I was here.
“Do you think they followed us?” Kim looked over her shoulder.
“No, Kim I don’t think they followed us.” I unclipped my seatbelt.
How could they have followed us? We drove an hour in the other direction, ditched the car, hired a hire car, then turned around and drove here. I kept looking in the rearview mirror. We hadn’t been followed.
My stomach curled. I can’t believe I had to schedule an appointment with my own father. Just being back here felt too familiar, it made my skin itch.
“Abby, we should really get out of the car.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean we really should get out. They are staring at us.”
I glanced up, my eyes landing on a band of men I once called family. Right. This was going to be a fucking nightmare.
“Ok, let’s go.” I cracked open the door and stepped out. Kim followed me and with confidence we both were faking, we strolled over to the men we once received protection from.
“Well if it isn’t the Harrison sisters.” Brad had his arms crossed but wore a somewhat familiar grin on his face.
