by Simone Elise
“I need you to take care of a few hits for me.”
“Like hell I will!”
He leaned in, lowering his voice. “You either do it, or your old man becomes an inmate and is dead before the week is out.”
“So you are blackmailing me? Again?”
“Like I said. I wasn’t about to let my best shooter go. I can’t have the gang take these hits because it could blow back on me. You aren’t in the gang. but I will have you teamed up with Daniels to keep you in line.”
“I’m not being babysat by Daniels!”
“Just take the deal, Abby. You get your old man off the charges. I get my hits done.”
“Who are the people you want dead?”
“All on the board.” Blake sat back, looking calm and relaxed and not one bit guilty about blackmailing me. “They are deciding whether I get my sentence dropped.”
“So what, you want me to kill them? Won’t they just be replaced? And won’t everyone know it is you behind it?”
God, you didn’t need a brain to work out Blake would be behind the killings.
“They might think it’s me, but I’ll have no link to the killings. And as soon as they start dropping, so will the years off my sentence. So you get to pick. Will you do it? Or will I be seeing your dad in here?”
I was never good at making on-the-spot decisions. I would like to think I acted good under pressure. But the reality was, I sucked at it. Did I let Dad come in here and face Blake? Or do I step out of retirement and handle it myself?
I knew Dad wouldn’t last a day in here.
“I’m pregnant.” I told Blake the truth. “We will only have a short window for this.”
“How far along?”
“Nine weeks.”
“Is it anyone’s I know?”
If I said it was Reaper, they would use that against me. I didn’t need Reaper having a weakness. I had a weakness with Dad. Blake knew I would do anything to protect him.
“No.”
“If you work quick, you will have them done before you are showing. Does this mean you are taking the deal?”
“Will all the charges be dropped against Dad?”
“Jed Harrison will be in the clear by the end of the day.”
“So what is making me not back out of it once Dad’s name is clear?”
“Because I can just as easily change my mind.” He gave me a serious expression. “I didn’t take you as one to go back on your word.”
He was right, I wouldn’t. Well, not normally. I couldn’t lose my dad. Not now. Not ever. I had already lost one parent. I knew one day I would lose Dad, but I wouldn’t lose him if I could help it.
“I’ll do it. Give Daniels my details. Tell him to reach out to me when he is ready.” I pushed the chair back and got up. “I’ll see you when that deal is over with.”
Blake nodded his head. “By the way, congratulations.”
I threw a wave over my shoulder and kept walking. So my fate was sealed. I was going back to the gang that attempted to kill me. How was I going to explain that to Reaper?
I knew as soon as I was standing in line to get my stuff back, there was only one solution.
Break it off with Kade.
He could then move on to his new charter and leave me to deal with my mess.
I loved him.
And I loved him that much that I would let him go.
I just didn’t know how I was going to go about it.
Chapter 11
Abby
I didn’t know how to do. I didn’t know how to make let me go. Even as I watched him across the bar, drinking with Brad, he looked so happy. And I was going to ruin that. I knew that was going to be the end result, me hurting him.
I also thought he would be the one to break my heart. I never would have thought it would be me doing the breaking.
But it had to be done. The sooner the better.
I knew what would happen next, he would hate me and leave. He’d go to his new charter and I’d be here. Being Blake’s bitch.
“You alright, Abby?” Kim asked, taking a bar stool next to me.
“Yep, fine.” I sipped on my water.
“Are we going to talk about the roses now? Or should I still pretend like Blake didn’t reach out to you?”
“I’m handling it.” I got up. “Dad in his study?”
“Last time I checked, yeah.”
“Thanks.”
I had enough courage to enter a relationship with Kade. I should have enough to finish it. But first I had to talk to Dad. I walked across the bar and pushed on the black door.
He was at his desk, doing sweet fuck, just drinking and reading the paper.
“Hey Dad.”
“Abby, something wrong?” He put his paper down. Geez, he knew me too well. I only ever wanted to speak to him in private when something was wrong.
“Just need to talk to you.” I dragged a chair across the room and sat across from him in the leather chair. “I’m breaking up with Reaper.”
“What happened to you riding out into the sunset to his new charter?” Dad studied me. “What happened to him being the love of your life?”
Kade was the love of my life. Always will be. But I loved him enough to let him go. He could find a wife that didn’t have my past or a criminal gang leader controlling her.
“I’m seeing someone else.”
Dad grunted.
“I haven’t told him yet,” I added.
“Of course you haven’t, because I still have a clubhouse standing. If he knew, he would be blowing this place apart! You can’t just break up with him because you’ve had a fight or something. He is the father to my grandchild!”
“That’s why I’m telling you first. When I end it with him, I’m staying here. I’ll need your support to help me get him to leave.”
“You want me to end it with him, don’t you?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Abby, you can’t expect that of me.”
“I’ll be the one to tell him. But I need you to drive the fact home that I’m not changing my mind. Make sure he doesn’t give up the charter, expecting me to come back to him.”
Dad nodded his head. “Fine, you have my support. Who is the new kid you’re seeing?”
“A dangerous criminal. With a record. You know, a real upstanding citizen.”
“Name?”
“Daniels.”
Dad’s eyes lit up. “Like fuck that will be happening!”
I sighed. I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn’t just say “You know what, Dad, if I pretend to date this man, I won’t be questioned on why we are always together, and you know I’m doing all this for you. So you aren’t stabbed to death in prison.”
“He is a good guy,” I lied. “Can offer me a more stable life.”
“The club offers you a stable life.”
“No, it doesn’t. Women aren’t treated as equals! The club comes first. Daniels is offering to put me first. For once, I’m coming first.” I didn’t mean to have a dig at his parenting skills. I didn’t want to give him a lecture on how he always put the club before me. But if it helped him accept the fact I was with Daniels, then yeah, I’d do it.
When it came down to it, I was willing to cut all ties with my family to protect them. This wasn’t like the romance novels I love to read, where the guy leaves her to protect her. I was doing the protecting. I was letting Reaper go.
And I knew I would never find someone as kind or with such a good heart as his. Maybe one day when he stops hating me, we could be friends.
I’d rather have him as a friend than nothing at all.
Then again, being his friend would be hard. Watching him with other women. Having him bring up children with another woman. My hand went to my stomach. I was making the right decision. Who was I kidding, this was the only decision I could make!
I was backed into a corner with nowhere to run but face your fate. I guess that is what I was doing. Facing my fate.
Telling Dad was step
one.
Next step was Kade.
“If this is something you really want, then I won’t stop it. But for the record. I’m not happy with your new boyfriend.”
“I’m not expecting you to like him. I just expect you to let me be with him.” I knew Daniels had the first kill locked in for this weekend, so I had to cut ties and quickly.
“Fine.” He nodded his head. “Reaper won’t take it well.”
“Yeah, I know.” I sighed and leaned back against the leather chair. Reality was, no matter how I handled this situation, someone was going to get hurt. Me or him. Who was I kidding? I was breaking both our hearts. Or at least Blake was making me.
I was so close to perfect I could have nearly tasted it. So close to having the perfect man and perfect child.
Now it was just going to be me and when I thought about it, I knew I couldn’t keep this baby. I know how cold I got after every hit. How I lost grip of reality. How I lost myself. I wasn’t loving or caring. I was calculating and cold. I wasn’t fit to be a mother.
I wouldn’t be fit for anything but pulling the trigger, and I was betting that was what Blake was counting on.
***
“You’re breaking up with me?” Reaper just stared at me blankly.
Well, at least he heard me. Now I needed to try and convince him I was serious about this.
“Yes.” I said firmly. “I can’t go with you to your new charter. I think it’s best we go our separate ways.” Just keep the emotion out of your voice, Abby. Don’t let him hear how much pain it is causing you to do this. “I’m sorry.”
He just stared at me blankly. Finally, when it looked like he was getting a grip on what I was telling him, he opened his mouth and then shut it again. Like he still couldn’t believe it.
“If this is about the new charter and you not wanting to leave family, I get it. We can stay. I don’t need the patch. I just want to be with you.” He took a step closer to me and I took one back.
“If I could start again, with you. I would make sure we were just friends, Reaper. I’m sorry, but I can’t love you like you love me. And it’s not about the charter. I want you to be President. You will make a great one. I just can’t be by your side while you do it.” Was I sucking at this breakup thing? I think I was.
“So you don’t love me? Is that what you are telling me?” he said, deadly calm. The type of calm he has before he starts shooting bullets and throwing furniture.
I couldn’t say that. I couldn’t tell him I didn’t love him. I took a deep breath in. Cut the ties, Abby.
“There is someone else.” I said so calmly that even I believed it. “He is offering me a life you can’t.”
“Abby, I’ll do anything for you. You know that. Whatever he is offering, I’ll match it. Just please,” he linked his hand with mine, “don’t give up on me.”
I pulled my hand away. “He is offering me a life away from the club, Reaper. No club rules. No club-related bullshit. I’ve been brought up on it, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living and breathing the club.”
“So you are breaking up with me because of the club?”
“I’m breaking up with you because it’s best for both of us. You can’t change into the man I want. And I can’t be the woman you want. We are just…” I swallowed sharply, “going in different directions.”
“Who is it?” he gritted out. “Who the fuck is offering you more than what I can? And since when did you not like the club?” He wasn’t giving up. He was going to fight me on this. Every single thing I said, he was going to fight me on it.
“Can’t you just accept it?” I said, frustrated. “We are done. Over. You can leave now and go to your new charter and I can move on.”
“Who. Is. It? Is it another member?” He arched his eyebrows.
“No.”
“So it isn’t Brad?”
My eyes went wide and I shook my head. “No. Do you really think Brad would leave the club for me? He isn’t a member of a club.” I made sure to say that last bit a bit slower. “It’s Daniels.”
“The guy you were in a gang with?”
“He just showed up at the right time and is offering me something I can’t turn down.” I shrugged my shoulders. God, this was painful. Why did pushing away the people you love hurt so much? I never wanted to let him go, but I knew I also couldn’t fulfill my requirements to Blake while being with him.
He scoffed, shaking his head. “What about the baby? Do you expect me to forget about that as well? To let some stranger bring up my kid?” He was hurting, badly. And I had done the hurting. He wasn’t just grieving the loss of me right now, he was grieving the life we would have had. “How can you stand there and tell me you don’t want me?” he yelled.
Is this how it was going down? Me breaking his heart? Just don’t cry.
“I’m sorry.” And I honestly was. I was sorry for hurting him. For leading him on, and mostly I was sorry this was how I was ending it. It was ending very badly. But I guess I should have expected it. There was no way to end this nicely. We couldn’t be friends. We never were friends. We skipped that step.
“Is that all you’ve got to say?” The veins in his neck were bulging and the tattoo of my name had never been clearer.
I nodded my head. “Like I said, I’m sorry.”
“Fuck that, Abby. I’m done. You hear me? I’m DONE! Don’t come looking at me to patch things up. Just stay the fuck away from me. And you thought all this time, I’d hurt you. Clearly I didn’t fucking know what a cold, hard bitch you can be.”
I deserved that, so I took it. “I’ll um, stay away from you then.”
“Trust me. That won’t be hard because I’m planning on leaving as soon as possible. Don’t come crying to me over your boyfriend when he tries to kill you again.”
“Trust me, Reaper. You are the last person I’ll go to for help.”
I didn’t know it was possible, but my last words whipped across his face and the hurt expression on his face, well, it broke my heart, and the tears I was holding back flooded out.
“I would never have let you down. I would never have hurt you. I would have given up everything for you. I would have fought everything and everyone for you. You were my world, Abby, and you just ripped it away from me.” I didn’t know it was possible, but Reaper cried. It was one tear, but it was there running down his cheek. “Just stay the fuck away from me.”
The pain in his eyes, it was making anger run through my blood. I hated myself for doing this to the love of my life. I hated myself more than I hated Blake for making me do it. After all, I had done it, hadn’t I? I had caused the pain in his eyes.
If I had just stayed away from him, this would never have happened.
I knew we would end badly. But I never thought I’d be the one to pull the trigger on us. Reaper actually looked like I had pulled the trigger on him. He looked to be in that much pain.
“Kade, I’m so sorr-”
“It’s Reaper, and what the hell would you be sorry for? You’ve moved the fuck on. And so will I. Now stay the hell away from me, you hear? Stay the fuck away from me!” He turned and threw open my door, leaving me.
So this is what your heart breaking feels like. I wished I was numb from the pain, but I wasn’t. I could never have been prepared for that. But I had gotten my wish. He was letting me go. This pain was just too real. Too consuming.
I wiped the tears off my face and dialed Daniels’ number. The sooner I started, the sooner I finished. I knew I wouldn’t be coming back from breaking up with Kade. This sickness that spread through my veins, it would never leave me. Pain. I was in physical pain. My heart was beating but I felt dead.
Because I had just lost the love of my life, and worse, I had broken his heart. What the hell have I become? Daniels finally answered his phone, and I had to focus on the business at hand and not the fact that I just killed the only good thing in my life and made the only man I ever cared about leave me.
Cha
pter 12
Kim
I was worried about my sister. Not only had she broken it off with Reaper nearly a month ago, she had gone completely off the grid. She hadn’t been seen around the club at all. I actually doubted she was even staying here, and I think that made it worse for Reaper as I filled up his shot glass.
He wasn’t taking the whole not having Abby thing really well. He was drinking to the point of passing out in the bar. When he wasn’t drinking, he was making reckless choices. Like overtaking a police car doing double the speed limit.
“So have you seen Abby?” I asked him, putting the bottle down.
“Nope, and don’t really give a fuck.” He threw the shot back. He might have wiped his hand of my sister, but I hadn’t.
“This new guy she is seeing, what’s his name?” I asked. She hadn’t answered one of my messages or picked up any of my calls. All I knew was she had completely lost her mind and was breaking up with the man she loves and dating some nobody. I had knocked on her door at all times of the day and night, and not once had she answered.
She was up to something. But I didn’t know what that something was, and Reaper was useless when it came to information.
I glanced up and then I saw someone enter the bar that should know better than to be seen here.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? HAVE YOU GOT A DEATH WISH?” I screamed across the bar at Daniels.
He just gave me a smug look and had the guts to walk toward me.
“Nice to see you too, Kim,” he said. Like I was his friend!
“What are you doing here?” I asked again.
Why did Reaper suddenly look like a starved, crazy, feral animal that hadn’t eaten in days?
“He is picking me up.” Abby walked into the bar, acting like she hadn’t been missing for a month.
“Where the hell have you been? You could have answered at least one of my calls. We had no idea where you were. We have been worried sick.” I pushed the bottle of liquor toward Reaper because he looked physically sick right now.
“Dad’s known where I was.” She frowned. “So I don’t see why you are so upset.”
