by Simone Elise
“Um yeah, but I guess I deserve that.” I walked toward him, stopping at his side of the bed. “Sorry about last night.” I didn’t think there were words for how sorry I was. “I kind of broke down.” I was so embarrassed of how I reacted last night, and it was showing on my face right now. “You should have left me.” I remember clearly asking him to leave. But when he hadn’t, I had never been more relieved. I was a wreck last night and still didn’t feel like I had recovered.
Reaper threw the blankets back, getting up and standing in front of me. I stared down at his feet.
“Abby, we need to talk.”
“Trust me, I have nothing you want to hear.”
His hands cupped my face and lifted my head up. “After last night, you have to tell me what’s going on. And you are ending it with Daniels. I’m spending the rest of my life with you, and I’m bringing this baby up with you. You hear me, Abby? You and Daniels are over. If you don’t end it. I’ll end him.”
“I don’t need you killing him.”
“But I will. If you don’t end it.” Reaper’s voice didn’t even shake as he said it. Like taking Daniels’ life is exactly what he wanted to do. “So you going to end it? Before or after you tell me what it is you’ve been doing.”
“I can’t tell you.” I looked into his deep dark eyes. God, they were soul-sucking. Pulling me in. “You won’t believe me anyway.”
“Try me.”
Could I be honest with him? I opened my mouth. Where would I even begin? I needed Daniels for another week. I had to be with him for one more week. I was so close to this being over with.
“Give me a week,” I stuttered out. “Then I’ll tell you everything.”
“No. Not happening. You are telling me now.” Reaper wasn’t letting me budge. “You’re going to tell me why you were soaked with blood last night, and I swear if you tell me that Daniels forced you to do something, then he’s dead.”
“Reaper.” I pushed out of his grip. This was exactly what I didn’t want. Maybe I could never tell him the truth. “I need to get dressed.”
“Nah, don’t even think you are getting away from me that easy.”
Reaper followed me into the wardrobe. I ripped his shirt off and threw it at him. I was getting my jeans off the hanger when his hands wrapped around my stomach and he pulled me to his chest.
“You going to tell me now or later?” His hands cradled my stomach and he kissed my shoulder. “Come Abby, I told you there is nothing you can say that will scare me away.”
“Once I tell you, you won’t want me to be the mother of your child and this,” I turned in his arms, his hands going to my lower back, “will end.” I had already come to terms with it. Reaper and I weren’t going to be together. Hell, no one would want to be with me once they knew the truth. I was a killer, plain and simple.
I wasn’t fit to be a mother.
I wasn’t fit to be a lover.
And I really wasn’t fit to be Reaper’s girlfriend. He needed a girl he could trust. Someone who wouldn’t lie to him. Someone who could tell him the truth. Someone who hadn’t spent months lying to him. That someone wasn’t me.
“I need to get dressed.” I turned back around and grabbed my jeans.
“You will be the mother to my kid no matter what. Nothing you do or have done will change that.” Reaper watched me put my jeans on, crossing his arms. “I don’t know why you are so hard on yourself.”
“When I tell you, you will be begging me to give this baby up.” I looked at him, determined, knowing what his reaction will be like. “Or taking it off me. Either way, I won’t be a mother.”
“Sounds like you don’t want to be a mother.” His eyes narrowed at me.
I blew out a long breath. “Trust me, I’m doing this baby and you a favor.” I ripped a top off the shelf, putting it on. “Now I have to go.”
I went to walk past him but his hand gripped my arm, bringing me to a stop. Seems like Reaper wasn’t ready for me to walk away.
“What, Reaper?” My eyes ran up from his hand to his eyes. I was tired. I was worn out from last night, and I really couldn’t be bothered arguing with him over this. I had already made my decision.
“When you get back, we are talking. And whatever you say won’t change my decision. You will be the mother to this baby and my woman.”
My stomach fluttered at the way he said his woman. But I had to be realistic.
“Trust me, you won’t be thinking the same later.” I was already prepared for the disgust that I would see on his face. “Now I have to go or Kim will be back here.”
“Enjoy the spa.” He looked torn, like he wasn’t ready to let me leave but knew at the same time I’ll be back. “Tonight, we talk.”
“Fine.” If he wanted to hear, I’d tell him. “Bye, Reaper.”
I was expecting him to let go of my arm but he pulled on me, making me crash into his chest, and I looked up at him, trying to figure out what he was doing when he kissed me roughly. He kissed me like he was frustrated and he had no control left.
I thought it was a kiss, but I was wrong when his hands went to my hips and he lifted me off the ground.
“Reaper, I have to go.” I pulled away from his lips, but he just dove forward, claiming them again. He held me in the air and I knew what he wanted, but I had to go. Then he bit my bottom lip, causing my mouth to open. When his tongue entered my mouth, my fight to end this before it got out of control was over, and I locked my legs around his waist, giving him what he wanted.
Feeling how hard he was, I knew there was only one way this was going to end.
“Kade, I just got dressed.” I gasped as his mouth ran down my neck and he ripped my top off.
If I was going to tell him what I was doing tonight, tell him all the truth, this would be the last time he wanted me like this. Suddenly the fact I was meant to meet Kim didn’t matter and I was the one greedily kissing him.
“I thought you wanted to go?” He smirked against my lips.
“I want you. One last time.” I kissed his neck, right where my name was tattooed. At least a small part of me would always be with him. Even if it was a tattoo he would be sure to regret one day. When he had a wife and a baby that wasn’t from me.
I knew he deserved better. Which was why I wasn’t going to fight him when he wanted nothing to do with me. I wouldn’t remind him that he promised me over and over again that he would always love me. No matter what. I would let him go.
And I somehow would live without him. Living without him would be the hardest bit. Not even having him as a friend. My heart clenched at the realization and my arms locked around his neck, kissing him harder.
Right now, he was still mine.
In this moment. I had him. So I didn’t protest when he lowered me to the bed and ripped my jeans off. He pulled away from me, looking at me as if I belonged to him.
“You and that stomach do crazy things to me.” His hands cradled my stomach and his face lit up. “When are we going to find out the sex?”
Did I burst his bubble? I didn’t want to know the sex. I didn’t want to form any connection with it. Not when I was ready to give it up. But I realized I didn’t have to burst his bubble. Once he knew the truth, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me or the baby, so I could honestly say to him what I was thinking.
“We can decide on that after I tell you everything tonight.” I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Now you better hurry up before Kim’s back banging on that door.”
Just like that, he switched gears. I gasped when he entered me and gave me everything I wanted. One last time.
***
“I really needed that massage.” Kim sank into the spa next to me. “I swear this hot water is amazing.”
Kim hadn’t lied when she said she had booked us into the spa. After hours of being pampered I was forgetting all my worries and problems. But as soon as the massage was over, so was my break from reality.
Kim grinned at me. “Tell me, wasn’t
this exactly what you needed?”
Why was she being nice to me? Kim and I hadn’t been talking. When we did, we would fight over Daniels. She couldn’t understand why I was with him, she was the only one that really knew what Daniels was like. She knew he was controlling, protective, and liked things bloody. He was nearly as hard as Damon and when I thought about it now, he was in fact harder than Damon. I knew Damon wouldn’t hurt a kid. Daniels had proved to me that he wasn’t above that. My blood ran cold, remembering how that boy’s body dropped, how his blood sprayed over me.
“Abby?”
I looked back at Kim. My thoughts had once again taken over. “What?”
“I said this was exactly what you needed.” Kim frowned at me. “Are you even listening to me?”
“My mind was somewhere else.” I sat back against the spa, enjoying the jet on my lower back.
“On this little one.” Kim touched my stomach and grinned at me. “I can’t wait to meet him or her. I don’t care if it is a boy or a girl but if it is a boy, he is totally going to be just like Reaper. You will have your hands full.”
“I’m not keeping the baby, Kim.”
Her mouth went tight and I knew that look. “Reaper mentioned that.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course he did. So, is that what this spa day is about?”
Kim’s hand stayed on my stomach. “Abby, this is a miracle. You can’t just give him or her away. That is your son or daughter. My niece or nephew. Reaper’s daughter or son. You can’t just walk away from that.”
“I’m not fit to be a mother.”
“Why?” Kim looked at me, determined and pissed off. “What could possibly have you saying that? Is it because of Daniels, is he telling you can’t have this baby?”
Kim was looking at me wanting answers. Like she was trying to figure out my thinking.
“Daniels is bad news, Abby, you need to get away from him. He is ruining your thinking. If you were with Reaper right now, you wouldn’t even be thinking about giving up this baby.”
“You’re right, Daniels is bad news.”
“So dump him and be with Reaper. That man loves you more than you even know. I’ve been watching him for months struggling with you dating Daniels. To be honest, I don’t know how those two haven’t ended up in a fight.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It does matter.” Kim gripped my wrist under the water. “I saw your tattoo. I know you love him. You are having his kid. Why can’t you be with him? Break up with Daniels.”
I looked around the otherwise empty spa room.
“I’m not dating Daniels.”
“Yes, you are. You have been with him for months.”
“I have been with him, yes. But we aren’t dating.”
“Then why are you together? Why do you spend every weekend with him?” Kim pouted her lips. “Why have you been putting up a front that you are dating him? Putting me through hell. And Reaper! Watching you date that lowlife!”
“If I didn’t,” I looked her in the eye. “Dad would be in prison.”
Kim’s mouth dropped. “I don’t understand.”
“Do you remember when I was in hospital and Daniels came to me?”
She nodded her head.
“Well, Blake wanted me to see him.”
“And...”
“Blake said he would drop the charges against Dad if I….”
“What, dated Daniels? Why the hell would he want you to date his second-in-command?”
“No, that was my idea.”
“Ok, I’m confused.”
“Blake needed a hit-man that wasn’t linked to the gang. So it wouldn’t blow back on him. If I got caught.”
Kim looked at me with wide eyes. “You’re the hit-man!”
I sighed, nodding my head. “Yep. I’ve been making the news.”
“ABBY!”
“Lower your voice!” I gripped her wrist. “The last thing I need is to get caught at a spa!” I yelled at her with a low voice.
“So you’ve been killing all those people. You have every cop and detective hunting for you!” Kim whacked my arm. “You’re bloody pregnant!”
“I know. That’s why I’m not keeping the baby.”
“Does Reaper know?”
I looked at her mockingly. “Do you really think that Reaper would be in my bed this morning if he knew?” I shook my head. “He won’t want to have anything to do with me once he knows.”
“So you are telling him?”
“Maybe. I only have one more hit left and then I’m done.”
“You’ve killed five people, Abby.”
“And it will be six by the time Blake is finished with me.”
“He is using you.”
“It’s that or Dad going to prison. I couldn’t have Dad going down for murder. Not when it was my fault. Damon’s death was on me. Blake knew I would make it right. This is making it right.”
“Dad wouldn’t have expected this of you. You know he would have done that time willingly. Given his lifestyle, he is expected to do more time. You know Dad isn’t afraid of prison. Hell, he still doesn’t know how he got off those charges!”
“I know Dad would have done the time, but Blake said as soon as he stepped into that prison, he was a dead man.” I sighed, staring into the water. “I couldn’t face being without a parent yet. And I didn’t want you to be without Dad because of me. Plus the club would go into meltdown without the President.” I ran my hands over my stomach. “I’d do it again. It was the right decision.”
“I would have done the same.”
I looked at Kim with wide eyes. “What did you just say?”
“I’d kill to protect Dad. Hell, he would do it for us. I get why you did it. But tell me it’s over. Tell me you can have this baby and just move on.”
“There is a cost when you kill someone, Kim. You lose a bit of yourself with them. And there isn’t much left of me now.” I let the hollowness I feel surface on my face. “You might understand why I did it, but no one else is going to.”
“If I can understand, Reaper will.”
“No, he won’t. Like he will want the mother to his kid to be a trigger-happy hit-woman. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. The sooner he takes that charter and leaves, the better.” The farther he was away from me, the better. Better for him. Better for me.
“Just because you have been forced to take some lives doesn’t mean you aren’t fit to be a mother.” Kim held my hand. “Seriously. It just shows how much of a great mother you would be.”
“Or giving my enemy an open weakness.”
Kim pursed her lips. “I’m not letting you give up on this baby that easy.”
“It’s late, we should get dinner.” I rose up. “Don’t tell Reaper about this. Or Dad.”
“You are going to tell them, right?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I really don’t know yet.”
Kim
Abby wasn’t eating, she was just poking her food. She had been deadly quiet since we left the spa. I had hoped she would open up over a steak, but I was wrong. Her phone kept ringing and she was ignoring it.
“So how’s the steak?” I asked, seeing as she hasn’t touched it.
“Fine.” She cut a piece off.
“You do realize you need to taste it in order for it to be fine.” I arched an eyebrow at her.
“It’s too bloody.” She pushed it away. “And I’m not hungry.”
“I’ve been with you all day and you haven’t eaten a thing.”
She groaned. “Why is Daniels raping my phone?” She picked it up, reading the messages.
“I thought you were done with him?”
“No. We still have one more business connection to cut off.” The phone started ringing again, and this time she answered.
“What?” Abby barked into the phone. “Now?” She sighed “I don’t have my guns on me.” She looked at me. “Yeah, come get me, I’m at the steak house. Call me when you’re here.”
She hung up.
“What was that about?”
“The last hit. It’s tonight.” Abby reached for her water, looking like a ghost.
“Who is it?”
“Bruce Miller, a lawyer for the defense. He is the last one.”
“He is the most famous in town! Even I know him! You kill him and you will be asking to be arrested!” My hand reached across the table, taking hers. “Don’t do it.”
“I have to.”
“Tell Dad. Get him to handle it.”
“I can’t, Kim. My problem.”
I got up before Abby could. “It’s a club problem. You’ve done enough.”
“Kim.” She sighed, pushing me out of the way. “It’s the last one and when tonight’s over, so will my deal with Blake be. Then I can move on and not feel dread every time my phone goes off. And I will actually be able to look Reaper in the eye when I tell him it’s over and I’m not lying.”
“I’ll stop you from doing it.” She was making a big mistake. You don’t just kill a lawyer and get away with it. You kill him and a shit storm comes after you.
Abby looked at me with a sadness in her eyes I had never seen before. “No one can stop me. This. This is what I do. I’m good at it. And after tonight, I’m never planning on touching a gun again.” She stepped forward and kissed my cheek. “Thanks for the spa date.”
My arms went around her. “You aren’t expecting to come out of this one whole, are you?” I knew my twin. I knew her facial expressions. This kill wasn’t going to be like the others.
“He’ll have more security. More likely I’ll be leaving his place arrested, but I won’t let that happen.” She pulled away from my arms. “I guess I should have eaten, considering it was my last meal.”
Abby’s phone started ringing. I saw Daniels’ name flashing.
“Just don’t do. You’ve been lucky. Don’t risk it now. Don’t. Do. It. And what do you mean you won’t let that happen?”
A bitter smile crept across her face. “I’d rather go out in a gunfight than the needle, Kim.” She pulled away from me completely. “I love you.”
“Yeah, I love you too.” Which was why I was going to stop it from happening. Abby brushed past me, leaving me. She thought she would go out in a gunfight. Well, I was going to make sure that didn’t happen. I only knew one person who would face death for her, so I quickly paid the bill and headed for the exit.
