by Simone Elise
I flicked on the light.
No Abby.
“Abby?” I hollered down the passage.
Nothing.
I stomped back down the stairs, flicking on the light when I reached the bottom.
“Abby?”
I walked through the lounge room. Then when I entered the kitchen, I slipped and grabbed the wall just in time before I landed on my back.
I somehow managed to flick on the lights at the same time, and then I just went cold.
She was like Snow White. Her skin so pale. Her body so still. As if she was frozen. It would make a beautiful picture if it wasn’t for the blood that surrounded her.
“Abby, what the fuck do I do?” I dropped to my knees and noticed the phone in her hand.
I pulled it from her dead grasp and dialed 911. Panic was suffocating me. Fear was strangling me. I was too numb for the pain to hit me.
Chapter 26
Brad
He was pacing. Wouldn’t sit still, and I was sure he was going to wear a hole in the carpet of the waiting room. His jumper was still dripping wet from the rain, and he kept running fingers through his hair.
I did everything, from telling him it was going to be ok to trying to get him to sit down. The man was living on raw nerves, waiting. Waiting to hear if Abby was going to be ok.
But right now, I was worried if Reaper was going to be ok.
The man was slowly losing it.
The things worry can do to the mind. He would be blaming himself, and in some way, I felt guilty. If I hadn’t started that fight with Don, he would have left earlier and gotten to her sooner.
His phone was ringing on the seat next to me, and like he had done for the tenth time tonight, he ignored it. But I didn’t.
“Hello?”
“How’s Reaper?”
Kim.
“Pacing.”
“Well, we just hit the turn off, so we are about three hours away. Sucks right now you guys live so far away.”
“Well, we haven’t heard anything. All you are missing is Reaper pacing holes in the carpet.”
“Get him something to drink.”
“I think he’ll throw it at me.”
“Great time to turn into a wimp, Brad.” Kim’s voice wavered with frustration. “Can I talk to him?”
“I can only try.”
“Reaper, it’s Kim, she wants to talk to you.” I handed the phone to him, and he paused, looking up from the floor for the first time. Fuck, his eyes were bloodshot.
He took the phone and put it to his ear. “What do you want, Kim?”
Silence.
“I know that.”
Silence.
“You don’t understand. She could have been like that for an hour or days. I wouldn’t fucking know because I haven’t been home!” The rage in his voice caught the attention of people walking past. “She could die, and it’s my fault, so stop telling me I have nothing to worry about because right now, my whole life is in a fucking surgery bay.”
He snapped the phone shut and threw it at me as if it was my fault.
The man had a temper.
“For Harrison?”
Both our heads snapped to the lady in the white coat standing at the door.
“Yeah, that’s me. Abby Harrison. I’m her… partner.”
I got up and followed him to the door.
The lady put her hand out, “I’m Doctor Wong, one of the doctors that worked on Abby. You might want to sit down. Sorry, I didn’t get your name.” She glanced at the folder she had and lifted a few pieces of paper.
“It’s Kade, and does it matter? How’s Abby?” He was frustrated, and I put my hand on his shoulder to force him to relax a bit.
“Miss Harrison is recovering in the ICU.”
“Hear that, man? She’s recovering.” I pressed firmer on his shoulder, and I would admit I was grinning hearing that.
“And the baby?” Reaper pressed for more information.
The lady opened her mouth then closed it, forming a grim line. “Unfortunately, your baby didn’t make it. From what we can tell, Abby went into early labor and bled out. Sadly, this resulted in your baby being born still. If we had gotten to them earlier maybe we could have saved them both, but right now, the best outcome is Abby still being alive. She is stable but in a serious condition.”
Stillborn.
My grip on his shoulder tightened, but he sank down into a chair, causing my grip to break.
“She’s never going to forgive me.” He dropped his head in his hands and I glanced at the doc.
She didn’t know what to do.
I sure as fuck didn’t know what to say.
So I just sat next to him.
Chapter 27
Abby
“Come on, Abby, you have to eat something.” Kim crossed her arms and gave me a stubborn look. “And I mean more than one bite.”
“I’m not hungry.”
I wasn’t anything.
“Come on, at least have the jelly?”
“No.”
“Fine then.” She narrowed her eyes. “Are you going to talk to him today?”
My head snapped back in her direction. Was she crazy? “No.”
“He hasn’t left since you were admitted, and he knows you’re awake. You refusing to see him isn’t helping anyone. Not to mention the poor bloke is blaming himself.”
“Wasn’t his fault.”
It was my fault for everything I did while I was pregnant. I knew taking those lives would come back to haunt me.
“I’ve told him that, but it means nothing coming out of my mouth. You need to talk to him or at least see him. Come on, Abby, it’s not fair. And this is coming from me, Queen Bitch.”
It was my fault I was here in the first place. It was my fault the baby died. It was my fault Kade wasn’t going to be a father. It was all my fault. How could I face someone knowing that? It was bad enough seeing Kim and Dad.
“Just tell him to go home.” I laid my head back on the pillow. “I’m not interested in seeing him.”
“Yeah, but he is interested in seeing you. Come on, five minutes?”
“I SAID NO! Now will you piss off!”
“Fine.” She got up. “I’ll go tell him. Again.”
“Then don’t bother coming back.” I turned on my side and looked out the window.
I heard the door close and I closed my eyes, the feeling of guilt suffocating me. Tears started to fall and a pattern I was so used to started once again.
The self-hate.
The blame.
The tears.
BANG!
The door flung open, causing me to jump out of my skin and pull my IV out as I turned so sharply. He looked crazed. The tank top he was wearing had close to every tattoo he had on display. His eyes were sharp as knives. But it was the crazed look that covered his face that had me staring back at him blankly.
This wasn’t Kade.
Kade didn’t look like a monster.
Kade wasn’t a monster.
This was Reaper. Pure-breed Reaper, on edge, ready to explode.
“You can hate me. You can fucking blame me. I can cope with that. But I can’t fucking cope with not seeing you.” He stormed across the room. “You want someone to hate, then hate me. But don’t think just because this happened that you can block me out!”
Kim popped out from around him. “I attempted to stop him.”
My eyes bounced between the two of them. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was expecting to feel when I saw him, but it wasn’t this. This emptiness.
“I don’t hate you.” I blinked. “I don’t blame you.”
“Then why the fuck won’t you see me?”
“Because I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see the blame in your eyes. I don’t want the pity. I don’t want to see the disappointment. Don’t you get it, Reaper? I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU!”
His crazed expression turned to one of anger immediately.
“You think
I blame you. Abby, I fucking love you. This wasn’t your fault.”
“You can say that, but I don’t believe you. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that you don’t blame me for what happened.”
“I don’t.”
“Well, I do.”
I turned and stared out the window. “Can you leave now? I want to be alone.” I wasn’t sure how long I wanted to be alone for, but I knew right now that was all I wanted.
Chapter 28
Reaper
She didn’t want me. Fine. Fuck her. I threw the clubhouse door open and stormed into the bar. Abby didn’t want to know me. She didn’t want to look at me. I was a reminder to her. Fine. Fuck it all.
“Hey Reaper, you ok?” Kaylee was sitting on the stool.
I grabbed her by the wrist. “Come with me.”
“What about Abby?”
“Fuck her.”
I pushed open my clubhouse bedroom door and dragged Kaylee in with me. I was unzipping her dress while she was clinging to me.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” she whispered in my ear. I pushed her back on the bed and dropped my vest off, ripping my tee shirt off. I gripped her panties and pulled them down her thighs.
My mind was blasted with images of Abby, and I pushed them to the back. She didn’t want me. I undid my pants and then with one thrust, I gave up all control and thought and lost myself in a woman.
***
I dropped the keys on the side table and closed the door behind me. Being back here. I sighed and cracked my neck and turned the light on. The house was empty without Abby. Not that I should care.
Fuck, I know she hates me.
I stormed up the stairs, passing the pictures on the wall. I paused at one of Abby and me. She was wrapped under my arm, smiling and happy. I ruined that.
I passed the spare bedroom and paused. Grabbing the door handle and twisting it open, my eyes were met with one thing. The baby room. It was painted blue, the cot was set up, the drawers were filled with baby clothes. There were tiny decorations that Abby had made hanging from the ceiling. Matthew Kade Wilson was spelled across the wall.
She had done everything.
She couldn’t come home to this. That’s if she even comes home. She might decide to leave and head home with her family, and just that thought filled me with dread. I couldn’t lose her.
But I felt like I already had.
I dragged my hands down my face, and as much as my body wanted to sleep, this needed to be dealt with.
I walked back downstairs and grabbed the keys for the Ute.
***
I had just put the last box on the back of the ute when the sun broke across the horizon. The room was empty, and the first coat of paint was on the walls.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out.
“Hello?”
“Hey Reaper, it’s Kim.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, we were just wondering if you were planning on coming back to the hospital today?”
“Don’t think there is much point in that.”
“She didn’t mean what she said.”
“Yes, she did. She doesn’t want to see me. I’ll stay away.”
“Well, you see, that might be difficult because she is being discharged today.”
“Tell her to come home. I won’t be here.”
She went silent.
“Kade, you and her have been through a lot. Don’t give up on her now.”
I ran a hand through my hair and then stared down at the words Reaper tattooed across my knuckles. “It’s better this way. She can make her decision.”
“Ok, I’ll tell her to go home then.”
“Bye Kim.”
“Bye Kade.”
I hung the phone up and stared at the rising sun. She could come home, and I could go stay at the clubhouse. She was either going to pack up and leave with her family, or we would work things out. But my gut was telling me she had already made her mind up, and the next time I saw her, she would be packing boxes too. Leaving me.
Chapter 29
Abby
“I told you I am fine to walk.” I protested against the wheelchair again, but Dad wouldn’t let me out of it.
“Suck it up, sister, you’re being babysat.” Kim pulled her sunglasses down as we exited the hospital, and I was finally free of the wheelchair when the taxi pulled up.
“So what, we’re taking a taxi all the way back home?” I arched my eyebrows at her.
“Nope.” She cracked the door open. “We’re taking it back to your house.”
“I can’t go there.”
“Reaper won’t be there. He has cleared out and moved into the clubhouse. Anyway, Dad and I are crashing with you for a while. The boys are moving into Reaper’s clubhouse.”
“I don’t see why the boys rode down anyway.”
“Dad says you do know. Now get in.”
With regret, I opened the taxi door and got in.
***
I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe for everything to be the same. For the blood to still be on the floor and for all the memories of the night hit me. But it didn’t happen. The kettle boiled, and I snapped out of my state.
Kade wasn’t here, and he hadn’t shown up for two days. Two whole days I had been back here and not once had he come home.
I still didn’t know how I felt about it.
“Abby, Dad’s heading down to the clubhouse. They're having a party, and I thought I might tag along.” Kim leaned on the door frame.
“Trigger gonna be there?”
“Yeah.” She smiled shyly. “I haven’t seen him for a while, and we kind of left things unfinished.”
“I’m fine to be by myself. Go and have fun with them.” I waved my hand.
“You sure?”
I blew on my coffee and nodded my head. “Yeah, I was planning on an early night.”
“Ok, call me if you need me.” She turned and headed out the front. I could hear Dad’s bike roaring.
The front door closed and for the first time since the accident, I was home alone.
I sat down in the lounge room and pulled a file out of my bag. I had been putting it off, but I knew I couldn’t any longer.
I opened the folder, and pictures of small coffins and prices confronted me. I sighed and flipped the page. Headstones. Organizing a funeral wasn’t easy.
But my son, our son, deserved one. I had already brought the plot, and now the funeral director was just waiting for my instructions. I had put it off for two days, and now I had to make decisions.
I closed the folder up and grabbed my coffee. I might as well do this in bed. I was walking up the staircase when I paused at a photo of Kade and I. He was smiling, and I was tucked under his arm. He was happy.
Touching his face, I couldn’t help the tear slipping down my cheek. I missed him.
I had made my way upstairs when my eyes landed on the same door that I had been staring at every time I walked out of my room. The spare room. His room. My son’s room.
Finally finding the courage, I walked over to the door and twisted the doorknob.
I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath and flicked the light on.
Opening my eyes, my mouth dropped.
The room was set up as an art studio. Canvas, stands, paints, pens, desk, lights, it had everything. On a large canvas was a yellow sticky note.
You enjoyed it once - Reaper
My fingers ran over his writing. He had done this for me? I couldn’t believe it. I knew at that moment right then and there what I needed.
Walking out of the room, I went into my bedroom, putting my coffee down and dropping the folder on the bed. I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
Chapter 30
Reaper
“And another one!” Brad shouted, and the boys all swallowed a shot. The party was in full swing. The MC charter was making it one hell of a party. But I wasn’t really into it. I had seen Kim, and she told me Abby
was well.
I grabbed two beers from behind the bar and headed for the study. I had plans to look over, and once I closed the study door behind me, it blocked out some of the noise.
I cracked open a beer and opened the first folder in front of me. It was the plans for the ride to Kelly. We were trading guns with them. It should be an easy run. We were taking the back roads.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I didn’t look at the caller ID when I flipped it open.
“Hello?”
All I heard was silence. Pulling the phone from my ear, I realized it was a message. Abby’s name flashed on my screen and my eyes doubled.
Abby was messaging me.
Opening it, my heart clenched a bit.
Come home - Abby
It was all I needed, and I reached for my keys. Shoving my wallet in my back pocket, I opened the study door, slamming it behind me and weaving my way through the crowd. Nothing would stop me from getting to her.
Did this mean she wanted me back?
Hell, it meant she wanted to talk to me.
That was a start.
***
I killed the engine of my bike and stared up at the double-story house. Abby was inside there. And she wanted to see me.
I kicked out the kickstand and leaned the bike down, heading toward the front door.
The whole ride over, all I thought was what she wanted. Did she want to see me to tell me it was over? Did she want to tell me she was leaving with her family?
I opened the front door and stepped in. The smell of coffee was fresh in the air and the fire was burning.
“Abby?”
I glanced up the stairs, and there she was, standing in the middle of the staircase, looking down at me.
I gulped and swallowed hard.
She slowly walked down the stairs till she was standing within arm’s reach of me.
“Kade.” She looked different, and I couldn’t pinpoint what had changed, but she seemed different.
“You alright?” I asked, thinking maybe that’s why she called me here.
She nodded her head and moved closer to me. It was only when she stepped into the light that I could see the tears swelling up in her eyelids.
“What are you waiting for?” she said, and in that instant, I did what I wanted to do since I walked through that door. What I wanted to do all week.
