by Simone Elise
I nervously pulled out my sunglasses and put them on before opening the limo door. The motorbike engines died slowly as the guys kicked their kickstands out and leaned their bikes down.
Kade was off his bike and was walking beside Dad.
I looked down at my tight black dress and clenched my clutch a bit tighter. Kim put a hand on my shoulder.
“You ok?”
I nodded my head, watching the funeral director open the back of the car. The guys slowly walked over to the open grave site, but I was frozen on the spot till Dad took one side of the coffin and Reaper took the other. Slowly, they walked toward the open plot.
I followed behind them with Kim at my side. Reaper was wearing his leathers and a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes from me. I guess I was doing the same, shielding my emotions.
They lowered the coffin onto the ropes and stood beside the grave. Kim and I came to a stop across from them. The graveyard was covered with bikers, and they all hovered close as Dad cleared his throat. My eyes were glued on the tiny blue coffin.
My Matthew.
“I’ll be speaking today on behalf of Abby and Kade. I admit I wasn’t thrilled when I heard Abby was pregnant. But like always, I came around and when we found out we were having Matthew Kade Wilson, I admit I was a proud grandfather. A grandson. Immediately I thought of all the things I would teach him and see him do. From first steps to first teeth. I’d be the one picking his first bike and giving him his first lessons along with his father. I thought of the first dates, to the first time he pitched in and I rode beside him. He was the son I was never given. And soon he would be a man that I could hand the club over to. In my eyes, he was already twenty before he was even born.” Dad paused and looked directly at me. “And just like his mother, I knew he would have a heart of gold and a smile that would light up the world. Like I said, in my eyes I could already see his life path. I remember Abby coming into my study. She was about six months along, and her hormones were all over the place. I will never forget what she said to me that day. She sat across from me, all serious, and said if something happens to me, I want you to help Kade bring Matthew up. While I insisted nothing was going to happen to her, she wanted me to promise that her son would have the same upbringing as her. She wanted him to know how to roll a cigarette before he knew how to tie his shoelaces. She wanted him to have the club as a family. Just like they were to her. I promised her that day that nothing would happen to her or Matthew. I promised that she would be there to ensure it happened herself.” He paused, sighing. “Sadly, that wasn’t a promise I could keep, and for some cruel, unfair reason, the life we all saw for him was taken from him as quick as it was given. Then instead of joy, we were given grief. Losing a son, a grandson, a young boy is heartbreaking because on that day, we didn’t just lose a baby. We lost Matthew Kade Wilson, who was already family, not just to us but to the club too, because he was born a member and will rest as not only my grandson but a member of Satan’s Sons.” Dad placed a hand on the coffin. “Rest now, my grandson, because this world wasn’t ready for the madness you would have brought it.”
The funeral director had a basket of single black roses. Dad picked one up and placed it on the coffin that had the Satan’s Son logo painted on the front along with the detailed writing Matthew Kade Wilson across it.
Reaper stepped forward and took a rose. He froze at the side of the coffin. I wiped a tear from my cheek and walked to the funeral director, taking a rose before standing next to Reaper.
“Rest, my son,” Reaper spoke so softly and placed the rose on the coffin. He stepped back, leaving me standing there.
I placed the rose on top of Dad’s and Reaper’s. “I’m sorry,” I whispered and wiped the tears from my cheek.
If I was stronger. If I was healthier. If it hadn’t happened when I was alone. I just wished it ended differently.
I took a step back to stand next to Reaper. As the coffin started to lower, I took Reaper’s hand, and together we watched our son be lowered to his final resting place.
Reaper let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around me, resting his hand on my hip, and pulling me into his side.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered in my ear while holding me close. I rested my head against his chest and watched as others took roses and dropped them in.
The only thing I could think of as I watched was Reaper would have made a great dad.
***
The day was exhausting and when I walked into the clubhouse, it was packed. The bikes outside were overflowing onto the streets. The wake was in full swing, all for my son. My eyes cut through the crowd and spotted Reaper, who was standing among members talking. He was clenching a beer and looked even more handsome with his black tee shirt clinging to his muscles and his leather vest over the top. His tattoos were on show for the world to see and like always, he looked just as scary.
His eyes darted up and locked with mine.
I had made my decision at my son’s grave, and now it was just a matter of fact of telling him what that decision was.
“You want a drink?” Kim pulled me away.
“Um, no I’m alright. I actually have something I need to do. So I’ll catch up with you later.”
I weaved my way through the crowd and smiled and thanked people as they spoke to me. Finally, I could see Reaper again. Slowly, I walked toward him with my heels clicking.
“Abby.” Andrew turned and spotted me. He stood next to Reaper.
“Hey, Andrew.”
“I was just telling Reaper how sorry I am about your little one.”
“Thank you.” I glanced at Reaper, who was taking a long drink of his beer. Keeping my eyes locked with his, I asked tentatively, “Um, Reaper, can I talk to you for a minute?”
He brought the beer down from his lips “I’ll be back, guys.” And he nodded his head to the side.
I followed behind him, feeling more nervous with every step. How was he going to react? How was he going to take it? I knew it was the right decision. I just didn’t know how he was going to take it.
He opened up his study door, and I walked in.
He closed it behind him and went and sat in his chair. There was silence between us. He ran his hands down the sides of his face and sighed.
“Look, if you want to yell at me, can it wait till tomorrow? I already feel like shit.” He looked me in the eye, and for the first time, I saw the sadness within them. He was hiding it well from everyone else.
“I didn’t come here to yell at you.”
“Then why?”
“I just wanted to tell you something.” I put my clutch down on his desk and ran my fingers through my curled hair.
“That you’re leaving? I already know, your dad told me they ride out the day after tomorrow.” He looked hurt. “So you didn’t need to come here and tell me. I would have gotten the picture when you rode out with them.”
I opened my mouth and then closed it.
He looked like he was in pain and he reached for his beer, finishing it.
“I didn’t come here to tell you that.”
He arched his eyebrows at me. “What then? That you hate me? That you never want to see me again? Spit it out, Abby. I’m a strong guy, I can take it. After all, like you said, I’m the cold-hearted Reaper.”
He sounded so hurt and for the first time today, I wasn’t sad because of Matthew, the sadness was filling me up from hearing him so heartbroken.
He might be the Reaper, but he still had a heart and it was clear I was breaking it.
I stood up and walked around the desk till I was standing beside him, and with one push the chair swung around and he looked up at me.
I took a deep breath. “I came to tell you that I love you, and what you did doesn’t stop me from loving you. I want to be your old lady, your wife, and I want to have more children with you, Reaper, because if you hadn’t noticed, I’m madly and incredibly in love with you.”
He stared blankly up at me. Slowly he
stood up, pushing the chair backward.
“So you’re not leaving?”
“No.”
He looked at me questioningly. “You’re not breaking up with me?”
I smiled for the first time today. “No Reaper, I’m not breaking up with you.”
“You still want to marry me?”
“Yes.” I stepped forward, closing the small gap between us and putting my hands on his shoulders. “Like I said, you might be the Reaper, but you’re my Reaper. And if you ever sleep with another girl again, I’ll personally cut your balls off.”
A smirk spread across his lips and taking me by surprise, he wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground and swinging me around.
I giggled into his shoulder, and then he planted my feet back on the ground.
“I never expected you to forgive me.” He kissed my forehead. “And I never thought I’d hear I love you again off your lips toward me.”
“There was blame on both sides, and I always will love you, Kade, no matter what happens between us.”
“I love you, Abby.” He rested his forehead against mine, keeping his arms wrapped around me.
“Yeah, I know. So should we get back to the wake? Everyone will be looking for you.”
“And you.”
“I’m not much in a talking mood.” I sighed and dropped my head on his chest.
He played with my hair. “Just stay by my side and I’ll do all the talking.”
“Thank you.”
I stepped out of his embrace and took his hand.
“Come on Abby, let’s get you a drink.” He tugged on my hand and I followed him out.
I couldn’t face that room full of people on my own, but I could under Reaper’s arm.
“Reaper?” I stopped him just before he opened the door.
“Yeah?”
“We will have more children, won’t we?”
He brushed my blonde hair to the side and looked at me intently. “Yeah, babe, we will.”
Chapter 32
Abby
Reaper had kept his word. He was holding up the conversation, and it seemed everyone wanted to talk to us. We were standing in the middle of the bar, and he had me wrapped under his arm and his fingers were running a small circle on my hip.
It was comforting.
“Hey Dad.” I smiled, seeing him approach. He had been kept busy with the charter guys. It seemed every member had a problem tonight. I had watched him talk to each and everyone from across the room.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
I stepped out of Reaper’s grasp and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I haven’t told you this. Thank you for what you said at Matthew’s funeral.”
“It was nothing, sweetheart, only the truth. I wanted to see how you were coping; I’ve meant to get over here all night.” He looked guiltily down at me, and I pulled my arms back and stood in front of him.
“I’m fine, Reaper’s looking after me.”
“Is he just.” Dad’s eyes looked behind me at Reaper. “Good to hear he’s looking after his future wife.”
My mouth dropped. “How did you know?” I sure as hell hadn’t told him!
“You don’t honestly think he would ask you without asking me first?”
“But he did it in the moment. I could tell he wasn’t prepared.”
“He asked me before Matthew’s funeral this morning.”
Oh. That made more sense.
So Reaper was seeking my father’s permission even when I wasn’t talking to him.
Maybe he just wanted Dad to know he was serious about me. I glanced over my shoulder at him, and he was keeping his eyes on the ground. So that must have been when he found out they were leaving, and he just assumed I was going with them.
Knowing Dad, he would have given that impression too.
“Well, now you know, I guess everyone will know.” I smiled at him.
“Didn’t expect you to ever get married. Never expected you to be a parent either. But like always, you surprise me. Always were the one that kept me on my feet.”
“Come on Dad, we all know Kim was the troublesome one.”
“Yeah, but you were the quiet one. The one to watch. Proves my point, look at the man you fell for. You couldn’t just hook up with any one of my members; you had to hook up with the only one I couldn’t control.”
“Reaper isn’t that bad.”
Dad grunted. “Well, at least I know if any fucker hurts you, he won’t be living for long.”
I knew Reaper had a temper and was feared for a reason. I wasn’t stupid. I also knew he had killed a lot of men. The only way I can rest with it was if Reaper hadn’t cleaned up the scum of the earth, who knows who they would have hurt?
“Well, at least you can see one good thing about us being together.” I crossed my arms. “Now do you want to tell why you gave him the impression I was heading home with you?”
“Because I wanted you to come home. Knew you two weren’t speaking, and the only solution I saw was you coming home with me. Where I can look after you and maybe you would have made a break from this type of life.”
“You really need to stop worrying about me, Dad.” I placed a hand on his arm. “I’m fine and can look after myself. And that type of life is the way I live my life.”
He grunted again and crossed his arms. “Why couldn’t you just fall in love with a banker or an accountant? Someone who feared me and would have gotten you out of harm's way.”
“I’m not in harm's way.”
“Yes, you are. You really think that this decision to stay here with him is going to turn out alright? Because if you don’t get hurt by one of his enemies, then it will be by him. You don’t think I heard about him sleeping with that girl? I’m telling you now, you’re making a mistake staying here.”
Why was he the second person to warn me off Reaper? Didn’t people realize I knew him better than any of them? I knew deep down in that cold heart of his that he loved me and while the rest of the world saw the scary biker that carries guns and has more tattoos than any of them. I saw the real him.
Reaper had remained extremely quiet behind me, and it surprised me. I half expected him to be yelling at Dad by now. “You know what, Dad? Like you said, it’s my decision, and I’ve made it. You mightn’t like the idea of me being here, but it's where I am staying, and nothing you say or do will make me think differently about Reaper. I’m his. Simple fact. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink.”
I walked around him and headed for the bar. I really did need a drink now.
Reaper
I watched her walk off, her blonde hair swaying, and my eyes were pulled down to her cute butt before she disappeared behind a member.
Then my eyes landed on Roach.
“Thanks.” I looked him in the eye. “You did a convincing job of hating me.”
“You know I wouldn’t trust my daughter with just anyone. I know you will keep her safe. So why did you have me testing her?” Roach crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Just had to see if she really wanted to stay or not. After everything we have been through, it made sense if she left with you, hating me.”
“Hate to break it to you, son, but my daughter has fallen in love with you, and that means she loves your faults as well.”
“Yeah. Don’t know if I deserve that.”
“Doesn’t matter what you deserve, it’s what you’ve got. When Abby’s mother fell in love with me, I never thought I deserved her, but she stayed by my side anyway. And Abby is a lot like her mother. She has her heart set on you, and there will be no breaking that. You should be thankful and look the fuck after her.”
“I will.” I looked over Roach’s head, trying to spot Abby. “Thanks again, Roach. You might make a good father-in-law.”
He whacked my arm. “Fuck that for a joke.”
I laughed and wandered off in the direction that Abby had taken moments before. I couldn’t see her at the bar.
“Hey, Reaper.”
Great, just what I needed.
“Kaylee.”
She crossed her arms and hummed up at me. “Next time you get your girlfriend to scare me off, you might want to remind her that I live here under your orders, so she doesn’t get the right to threaten that.” She stormed off, shouldering me on the way.
I spotted Abby walking down the staircase with Kim, laughing.
I strolled through the bar and met her at the bottom of the stairs.
She smiled at me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I arched an eyebrow down at her. “You’ve been a busy girl. Been gone a few minutes and you’re already causing trouble.”
She smirked. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” She planted a kiss on my lips, and I knew that was the end of the conversation.
Abby
I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Kaylee at the fridge. Wasn’t till she turned around that she noticed I was there.
“Oh, Abby.” She looked awkwardly at the ground.
“I want to make myself clear.” My heels clicked as I walked toward her till I was standing in front of her. “If you come between Reaper and me again, it will be the last thing you do.” My voice was a loaded threat. “See, my future husband isn’t the only one that knows how to use a gun, and personally, I’m more skilled.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“No, you dumb whore, she’s telling you she will kill you if you come between her and her man again. And if she doesn’t, I will.” Kim walked to my side. “Now if I was you, I’d fuck off before she shows you her right hook.”
Kaylee glanced between the two of us and then quickly walked around the table and out of the kitchen.
I turned to look at Kim. “How did you know I’d be threatening her?”
“Please, I knew you were going after her as soon as you stepped into the clubhouse today.” She threw an arm around my shoulder, “Don’t worry sis; I’ve got your back.”
We walked out and laughed. “With you on my side, she should be scared.”
