by Mike Thaler
draw Cupid. As I remember, a
cupid is a little baby with wings,
wearing a diaper and holding a
bow. He shoots arrows into your
heart and you’re in love.
That’s the way I feel about
Tiffany. What a beautiful name—
I just love to say it.
“Tiffany, Tiffany, Tiffany . . . !”
I exclaim. Cupid has hurled a
harpoon into my heart.
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CHAPTER 13
CUT TO THE QUICK
On the school bus in the
morning, Tiffany is sitting
between Eric and Derrick. She’s
smiling at both of them and
doesn’t even notice when I get
on. I sit down two rows behind
them.
Eric is telling her jokes. She’s
laughing. How could they do this
to me? I hate Eric. His jokes aren’t
even funny. Besides, I’ve heard
them all before.
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Derrick is showing off. He’s
pulling out all his baseball cards.
I’ll really hate him if he shows her
his 1952 Mickey Mantle rookie
card. Then I’m sunk.
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Tiffany doesn’t even turn
around to look at me. Now I hate
her.
When the school bus stops, I
walk right by her. I’ll show her!
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I won’t even say, “Hello!” if she
says, “Hello!”
She doesn’t even bother. That’s
it—we’re through!
The dragons can have her.
She can climb up her own
mountains. She can swim across
her own seas. I want a divorce!
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CHAPTER 14
HEARTBURN
At lunch, Tiff
any sits down next
to me. I get up and move my tray
to another table. That’ll teach her
a lesson. Now she’s sitting at the
table alone. Good! That’ll teach
her to break my heart.
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There’s a tear running down
her cheek. I’m about to go back
when Eric and Derrick sit down
next to her. In no time, she’s
laughing.
It’s probably at the same jokes
she heard this morning. She
wipes her cheek and puts her
nose in the air.
Falling in love is easy . . . it’s
landing that’s hard!
I’ve lost Tiffany for good. And
now, I’m stuck with a four-foot-
tall valentine card!
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CHAPTER 15
HEARTFELT
I don’t talk to anyone for the
rest of the day. When a heart
breaks, it leaves sharp pieces. I
head straight home after school.
It’s good to get back home, into
my own room, and onto my own
bed.
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I think I’ll become a hermit.
I’ll go live in a cave, one without
bats. My friends will all be sorr y.
One day they will miss me. I start
to daydream . . .
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Eric will ask, “What ever
happened to Hubie?”
“He missed the Valentine’s Day
party,” Derrick will answer.
“I still have his cookie,” Freddy
will announce.
“Let’s go find him,” they will all
agree.
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So they’ll set out to find me.
They’ll swim a sea. They’ll climb
a mountain and they’ll find me
sitting on a stalagmite. Or is it a
stalactite? I can never remember
which one hangs from the ceiling,
and which one grows up from the
ground.
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“We miss you,” they will say.
“Won’t you come back?” they
will plead.
“We have a heart-shaped cookie
for you,” Freddy will say. “It got a
little wet when we swam the sea,
but it is still good.”
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“What ever happened to
Tiffany?” I will ask.
“Oh, she married Henry
Stillman,” they will answer.
“My mom was in love with
Henry Stillman,” I will say. “Love
is very confusing.”
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“No, it’s simple. You are our
friend, and we love you,” they will
all shout with huge smiles.
Freddy will hand me a soggy
cookie. . . .
Hey, tomorrow’s Valentine’s
Day. I get a pair of scissors. I’ve
still got a lot of work to do.
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CHAPTER 16
WITH ALL ONE’S
HEART
Mrs. Green has decorated our
room with lots of hearts. Freddy’s
cookies are on a paper heart-
shaped party platter.
We sing the old Beatles’ song
“All You Need Is Love.” Now it is
time to exchange cards.
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I have one for everyone in our
class. I hand them all out. I’m glad
that I bought such a big piece of
paper. Many hearts came from
one.
I even give a card to Mrs.
Green. It makes her smile. I wrote
on it . . .
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I want to be a teacher
Just like you!
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I did get some cards, too.
Including one from Tiffany!
But you know what I learned?
It’s really more important what
you give, than what you get. Also,
I learned that a big heart goes a
long way.
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