by Lucy Kevin
Maybe she no longer had the right to ask RJ for what she needed, but what else could she do? Well, actually, her imagination was providing her with plenty of possible options, ranging from reaching out to kiss RJ to another vision entirely that involved both of them sprawled across his desk.
Rose forcefully pushed those thoughts aside. She couldn’t give away everything she’d so carefully pieced together just because of an attraction that had only burned hotter with every moment the two of them were together.
She just couldn’t.
“I’m asking you to help me one more time.” She took a shaky breath before repeating, “Just one more time.”
* * *
RJ could see how hard this was for Rose, coming to him this afternoon. She looked so torn, as if she didn’t know what she wanted anymore, and was afraid that no matter what she did it would be the wrong decision.
It hurt him to see her in so much pain.
And it hurt even worse knowing that he was the cause of it.
Normally, if he could do anything to stop her from hurting, he would do it in a heartbeat.
But this time, he couldn’t. Because even though it would make things so much simpler for Rose if he were to just step away, he loved her...and he didn’t believe for a moment that Rose would be having so much trouble if she didn’t love him back at least a little. If she didn’t care, then it would have been easy to tell him she loved Donovan, not him.
“You know I’ll be there for you no matter what,” RJ said, and it was the truth. If Rose genuinely did love Donovan instead of him, then he wasn’t going to get in the way of her happiness.
It was just that everything in him screamed that she didn’t love Donovan. And he was certain that Donovan didn’t love her. Not the real her, anyway.
RJ moved closer to her. Even when they were simply working with one another out in the chalet’s garden, simply being a few inches away from her made it feel like there was electricity sparking between them.
“But don’t you know why I’ve always been there for you, Rose? Don’t you know why I always will be?”
Rose looked like she was on the edge of tears. He could see the tension in every line of her features, and he hated being the one responsible for it. If he could have, he would have chased away her worries, her fears, with a joke, or stroked them away with the gentlest of touches. But this wasn’t the time for jokes, and as much as he wanted to reach out and touch Rose, he knew that he couldn’t.
“You’re always there for me because you’re a good man,” Rose finally answered. “One of the best men I’ve ever known.”
There had been so many instances in the past when RJ had stopped short at times like this, because he’d known that he was pushing Rose into areas where she simply wasn’t comfortable. He’d wanted to make things easier for her...only it turned out that by not forcing them to face what was between them, he’d ended up making everything so much more difficult to deal with.
And now, there was no time left. Not when there was so much at stake.
Everything was at stake.
“That isn’t the only reason, Rose,” RJ said softly. “Tyce, Patrick and Andrew are all good guys, but they don’t go as far to help you because they don’t feel the way I do about you.”
“RJ…” Rose began, but he pressed on before she could tell him to stop. He needed to say this. He needed her to hear this.
“I do all these things because I love you.”
There. He’d finally told her how he felt. The words were out there and they couldn’t be taken back.
Not that he would ever take them back, even if he could. He’d wanted to say those words to Rose for so long, and now that he finally had, he wouldn’t stop there.
“I’ve loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you, Rose. I loved you when I kissed you back at the bar all those months ago. I’ve loved you through every wedding we’ve worked on. I love you now, right this very second. And I always will.”
In all the years they’d worked together, he’d never seen her cry. But now, tears rained down her cheeks in miniature rivulets that didn’t look like they were going to stop anytime soon.
He finally pulled her to him, holding her tightly against him while she cried. He couldn’t leave her standing there crying and not comfort her. He simply couldn’t.
Not even when she didn’t say “I love you” in return.
Chapter Fifteen
The next morning, Rose found Vanessa McIntyre standing in the middle of the chalet’s main room.
“Ah, there you are Rose,” Vanessa said. “Anne here was just telling me, in great detail, about some of the weddings you’ve put on. It was—” She paused as if searching for just the right word. “—fascinating.”
“I knew you’d love it.” Anne smiled as she said that, and Rose couldn’t make up her mind whether her friend was very gently making fun of Donovan’s mother or not. “Well, there are one or two things with the dress I need to sort out. It was lovely meeting you again, Vanessa.”
Vanessa managed to get a hand out between them, which was usually the best defense for people who knew how much Anne liked to hug. Anne looked at her hand for a second, glanced at Rose, and then shook Vanessa’s hand solemnly before wandering off.
“She’s very…unique.”
“She’s my best friend.”
Vanessa’s expression verged briefly on disapproval. “Yes.”
After the horrible night Rose had had, not only sobbing in RJ’s arms but continuing to cry long after she’d gotten home, taken a bath, and crawled under the covers, Rose simply didn’t have the energy to deal with Donovan’s mother this morning.
Unfortunately, that hadn’t stopped Vanessa from showing up unannounced.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” Rose said in as brisk a voice as she could manage given how tired she was from tossing and turning all night as dreams of being in RJ’s arms took over her brain every time she closed her eyes. “I’m sure you must be very busy.”
Vanessa gestured to the wedding preparations. “Did you think that I wouldn’t have the time to see how my son’s wedding was coming along?”
Her son’s wedding. Rose thought about reminding Vanessa that it was her wedding too. Instead, she said, “It’s all going well so far. This structure,” the one replacing the gazebo that had been too ‘precious’ for Vanessa to possibly approve of, “will have flowers all over it.”
“The orchids we talked about before?” Vanessa looked around at the setup and frowned. “Don’t you think those will look a little fussy? Maybe some other flower would be better for the occasion.”
Rose very carefully didn’t mention the mite that had been going around the local orchid growers’ collections. “You’re right. We’ll have to come up with something else. I’ll get my florist on it at once.”
“Good,” Vanessa said, and for once there was a note of approval, as though the correct responses to any problem were to, first, agree with her, and then find someone to whom to immediately delegate the problem.
“Did I tell you that Julie Delgado and Andrew Kyle are doing the catering for the reception?”
“Yes, you did,” Vanessa said. “Of course, there are those who say that Andrew’s cooking isn’t quite what it was before he started with this new simplicity. Not that I’m one of them, you understand.”
Rose nodded. She understood better and better with everything Vanessa said. So far in this conversation, she’d come very close to insulting two of Rose’s friends and had tried to change the wedding plans yet again.
Yet what could Rose do? Vanessa was Donovan’s mother.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Vanessa added, like it was nothing. “A great many of the guests on my side have to be gluten-free. I’m sure you’ve already made arrangements for that, but I thought perhaps I should mention it just in case you’re not prepared. You might as well make sure the entire menu and cake is gluten-free, just in case.”
Rose didn’t
dare look at her own reflection in the window just in case she saw steam flying out of her ears. She couldn’t believe Vanessa hadn’t mentioned her guest’s gluten allergies long before now. Julie and Andrew were going to kill Donovan’s mother...that is if Rose didn’t do it first.
Of course, Vanessa didn’t seem to notice that anything was amiss as she announced, “Well, dear, let me know if you need help with anything. I’m sure I can make some calls. But now, I must leave for a coffee meeting with the board of the San Francisco Philharmonic.” Two air kisses later, one to both of Rose’s cheeks, and she was wafting away on a cloud of Chanel No. 5.
As soon as she disappeared, Anne returned to her previous spot beside Rose. “Is she gone?”
“Yes.” Rose barely bit back a thank God.
“In that case, I thought I should let you know that there’s a tiny problem with the dress.”
Rose felt every minute of the sleep she hadn’t gotten the night before in how slowly her brain could manage a response. “What’s the problem?”
“You see,” Anne explained, “I’ve been using this wonderful thread I found at a little market for the beading around the edge, but then it turned out that there wasn’t quite enough, and the little stall I bought it from isn’t there anymore. So now I’m going to have to unpick all the thread and redo that section, because otherwise it won’t look quite perfect, and it has to look perfect, right?”
“Right,” Rose agreed, though she found herself wondering if there was anything else that could go wrong. Well, there was only one way to find out. She braced herself even as she said, “Anne, can you go gather up everybody for a quick meeting?”
While she waited for her friends and employees to come see what she wanted from them, Rose looked out of the window to where RJ was working in the garden. It was still early, but even though she hadn’t seen him when she came in, it looked as if he’d been working out on the chalet grounds for hours.
Had he even slept after she’d gone to his house to talk to him and had ending up breaking down and crying in his arms just because he’d told her that he loved her...and she’d been so terribly, horribly confused by her own feelings for him.
It was so difficult every day, seeing him and wanting to be close to him. And even harder knowing that after she’d married Donovan she’d not only see RJ here every day, but that she’d likely still feel that attraction between them, too.
Because if it hadn’t disappeared by now, how could it magically disappear with her wedding?
And there was the fact that RJ had told her that he loved her, that he’d always been in love with her.
She’d thought that he would never actually say it. That he’d understand she was going to be with Donovan. That he’d find a way to make their working relationship, and their friendship, continue to work, just as he always had before.
Yet he’d done it, he’d said the three little words that could never be unsaid.
I love you.
Oh God, how could they possibly work together now when even staring out at him now in the chalet’s garden made her heart ache?
She couldn’t do this anymore. She just couldn’t. Once the wedding was over and she was safely married to Donovan, she wouldn’t be able to work with RJ any longer.
And, honestly, wasn’t it the best thing for both of them in the long run? She could really focus her full attention on her new husband, and maybe RJ would finally feel free enough from her to make the most of his landscaping skills...and find a woman who would love him back.
Her gut twisted at the thought of RJ with another woman. Still, she stepped out in the garden and called out, “RJ, could you come inside a minute for a quick meeting with everyone?”
A few moments later, Julie, Phoebe and Tyce followed Anne into the main room.
“I know all of you have been working really hard this week, but I—” Rose paused. “What I wanted to ask is, are all of you still having problems getting everything together for the wedding?”
Perhaps she should have said my wedding, but saying the wedding helped her feel as if she was simply organizing her crew for one of the hundreds of events they’d successfully pulled off over the years.
She’d been hoping for a chorus along the lines of ‘Don’t worry, everything’s fine,’ at least from Anne. Yet for once even her extremely optimistic best friend was quiet.
Tyce spoke up first. “I’ve got a string quartet together, though the harpist has pulled out now. The trouble is finding enough time to rehearse.”
“And I’m still having problems finding all the roses we need on such short notice,” Phoebe said.
“I’m also hitting a few speed bumps with an alternative menu,” Julie said.
That reminded Rose, “Vanessa just told me that everything needs to be gluten-free.”
“What?” Julie looked nothing short of horrified. “But I’ve already started the cake!”
“And you know I still need to find the right thread for the dress,” Anne added. “I think I’ll be done on time. At least I hope I will...”
Rose sighed, and then risked a glance at RJ.
“The setup is nearly done,” he assured her, “and I’ll help where I can with the rest of it.”
Rose nodded her thanks, because she didn’t know what to say to RJ right then. She certainly couldn’t tell him that she wasn’t going to be able to work with him in the future, not when he was already speaking to the others one-by-one, presumably about what he could help them with.
She was so stressed out that she could feel the tension rising up through every sinew until she thought her body just might fold in on itself through the sheer pressure she was putting on herself, and everyone else, to pull things off. They’d all put so much into trying to make her wedding perfect, and yet nothing seemed to be going right.
At this rate, she was going to succeed in nothing other than pushing away her closest friends.
“All right,” she said. “Drop everything. I don’t know about the rest of you, but right now, I could use a drink.”
Her staff of good friends looked at her like she’d just sprouted an extra head.
“I’m serious,” Rose said. “We’re all stressing out over this wedding, and I never wanted the chalet to be like that. So I think the best thing we can all do right now is go find a bar somewhere, relax a little, and then see if everything makes more sense after that.”
One by one, the others nodded. Tyce spoke for the group. “You know I’m always up for that kind of work day.”
“I know the perfect place,” Phoebe volunteered. “It isn’t very far from here.”
They walked as a group; one big family that swept Rose along as she tried to conduct a conversation with Anne about thread types...while also trying to ignore the way RJ was looking at her.
Like she meant absolutely everything to him…and he’d love her forever, just as he’d told her less than twenty-four hours ago.
“So does it make an actual difference which thread you use?” Rose asked her friend in what she hoped was an interested tone.
“Of course it makes a difference,” Anne insisted. “There’s how strong it is, and obviously the color and shine, not to mention allowing for certain kinds of stitches. But I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to have everything finished on your dress within the next two days.”
Rose didn’t notice where they were going until she looked up and saw the sign for the bar. It was the very same bar she’d once gone to with RJ when Donovan had been late to pick her up for their Valentine’s date.
The very bar where she’d kissed RJ.
Chapter Sixteen
Phoebe, Tyce, Anne and Julie were crammed into a booth while RJ was getting drinks and Rose was in the bathroom.
“Am I the only one who thinks that at this rate, those two are never going to get it together?” Phoebe asked the rest of the group.
“They should be together,” Anne said. “You can see how much they love one another. Well, I can, an
yway.”
“We all can,” Julie agreed. “I’ve known them less time than the rest of you, but it’s obvious, isn’t it? What I don’t get is why they still aren’t doing anything about it. Especially when she’s about to marry the wrong man in two days!”
Tyce shook his head. “We all know how messed up things can get when you’re in love. It can be hard to see what’s right in front of you.”
Phoebe hadn’t even believed in the existence of love before Patrick came along. And now…well, it was more than just RJ being Patrick’s brother that made her want to see him happy. She wanted her friends to have what she had. A real, true, lasting love.
“Rose and RJ are our friends,” she said. “And if there’s anything we can do to help them, I think we should do it. Even if it’s a risk.”
“If I hadn’t been working for Rose at the chalet, I wouldn’t have found Whitney again.”
“And I never would have met Patrick on the dance floor, if not for Rose,” Phoebe agreed.
“I probably would have found Gareth,” Anne said with her customary optimism, “but Rose helped me to deal with a lot of really difficult things with my parents and half-sister.”
“Me too,” Julie put in. “I mean, I know she fired me initially, but she was kind enough to give me a second chance.”
“She’s done a lot for all of us,” Tyce said. “And so has RJ.”
“I can’t believe how hard he’s working to help her this week, considering that it’s Donovan’s wedding,” Phoebe pointed out, though honestly, she knew what the Knight brothers could be like. Selfless to a fault.
“It’s Rose’s wedding. That’s why he’s doing it,” Anne explained, though they all knew that. “And maybe…well, maybe he’s been picturing himself as the groom, rather than Donovan.”
Tyce gestured towards the far side of the bar. “There’s the back exit. Anyone with me?”
Phoebe wasn’t surprised to see everyone else standing up. She did too.
