by L. L. Fine
There was something sweet in the air. Sweet skin, honey hair, lips full of nectar, slot full of wonderful nectar, the connection between the end of the leg and the beginning of the buttocks. There was something sweet, something boyish, something golden, something that flowed, and Zomy sucked every drop of honey that flowed from it.
This was the first time he saw, felt, fondled, this slot. The first time he became aware that such a thing could be, flexible, cheeky, so natural. Naughty fold, created when the leg straightens, and disappeared when she bends.
He had never seen a naked woman.
And now, as in a dream fog, eyes large as saucers roamed over her naked body up and down, sip it slow, deep breaths. This was something sweet, something tempting. Lustful kisses he had never before imagined were the reasons for his heart fluttering with feelings of immortality.
He loved her.
Loved her from the first moment she turned to him, in the little street he ruled. Loved the hidden ways along which she took him, the mysterious adventure into which she dragged him in the stolen few hours between the computer lessons and the evening talks with the rabbi.
He breathed in the scent of her wetness, reveled in the unbelievable immediate response it produced in him. Breathing, closer and closer, breathed again and again.
There was something sweet in the way she laid her hand on his shoulder, when she brought him his supper, walking barefoot. There was something soft and creamy, the way her fingers tangled in his hair, the way they slid down his chest hair. There was something sweet on her breath in his ear, whispers, arms, dragging him back, fighting exhausted strength, electrifying their hold on the small mattress.
There was something sweet in her young breasts, perfect nipples, upright, dark pubic hair, luminous eyes. There was something honeyed, magical about the path leading from the meeting between her breasts to her navel, and down it. Far below.
There was something breathtakingly sweet when her breathing became ragged and lust streams crossed the border from her.
There was something so sweet. So pristine. So desirable and seductive.
*
Only now, in New York, when the last breath struggled to get out, when lack of oxygen to his brain fogged the mirrors of his mind and flooded him all these memories, he suddenly knew.
Knew why she was so sweet, the only sweetness in the home of Rabbi Eligad. The rabbi who was a father.
Stolen Waters are sweet, he thought.
Stolen Waters, in which he drowned more and more. As rectangular room then, another rectangular room today. As then, with his first love, today, with the latest lover.
Stolen water tastes sweeter.
Stolen spring water.
05/13/01 Email
I survived. We'll talk.
05/13/01 Email 2
It wasn’t easy, just so you know. Lia says I came through a life-threatening situation, but I don’t feel that way. Difficult to write because I cough all the time, like I have a big stone on my chest that hinders my breathing. But I'm breathing without a ventilator, and Lia says I’ll be fine.
Should I describe the feeling to you?
At first there was nothing. Nothing, just the intravenous infusion. Bullshit. Then I started to feel ants in the chest. Know the feeling when your hand falls asleep? Well, that, but inside. And I began to breathe heavily. Not that I had trouble breathing - deep breathing, just as if no virus had ever been administered. As if I was breathing stones. And it started to hurt.
I was like that for a few minutes. Lia says I was unconscious for a few hours, but I wasn’t aware of it. Instead, I visited several other places of my life, as if I was outside my body. Talk about seeing your life pass before your eyes!
But this isn’t exactly true. You don't see life, but the important passages.
It all took probably a half a second in real time, but when I opened my eyes again Lia was somewhere else and crying. I called her and she came, but at first she didn’t respond at all, just tested the devices. I was burning with fever - I still have a forty-one degree temperature - but I'm clear. Very hard to breathe, though.
Lia says I need to have good lung function. So I will. I'll tell you about it after a while because I have tickets to Israel next week, and I'm not going to talk on the computer on this line again. Funny, it's like the Mafia guns. Don’t shoot the same gun twice. Remember the email I wrote on another computer? DELL earned their daily crust just because of you.
Lia went out and threw all that equipment into the Hudson. To sleep with the fishes. What can I tell you, Liron? I'm happy, so happy. Someday I'll celebrate this moment, but it will be when I have the energy. Not now.
Sayonara, amigo. May the force be with you.
Oh, yes,
I just remembered I had to do something.
*
"Yoav, can you tell me what is this?"
"What is what?"
"What did you do?"
"I don’t know. What have I done?"
"Come here, come, you'll see something in a moment."
"But I’m watching a game now, really ..."
"Yoav, move your ass over here! It's important!"
"Okay, okay. What’s wrong with your pc now?"
"Nothing, stupid. See what’s happened to my bank account."
"Let me see... what is it?"
"A lot of zeros, see?"
"Where did you get all this?"
"I don’t know, I just checked the account overdraft."
"There’s no overdraft anymore…"
"No!"
"Do we still have that lottery membership?"
"Not anymore. We canceled it when your startup failed, remember?"
"It's definitely from that membership."
"But we don't have a …"
"Einat, I know! But what do you want from me? We just got a million and a half shekels... don’t know where it’s come from. Must be a mistake."
"Well, well, Yoav ... don’t be mad ..."
"I'm not mad, just please, stop mentioning the startup, will you? I feel bad, already. I knew I should've stayed with Tadiran. Why rub more salt in?"
"But hey - it’s like we won the lottery! It's great news!"
"Are you sure we canceled that membership, Einat?"
05/22/01 Email
It’s blowing my mind, because she gave me life when I was already on the verge of death, ready to give up the last of my spirit. It’s so accessible, at the tips of my fingers, but I don’t have the courage to pierce the membrane that separates my imagination from my plight which is the cruel reality between us, and I had to keep it to myself, my secret, even though I do not really know it.
She’s so far above me that I can’t even reach her ankles, because she is daring in a way I, in my cowardice, will never be. Because she knows my weaknesses, because this could damage her life, because she looks at me as no one ever looked at me before, and there’s no gaping silence separating us, if that's how you know your destiny , and there’s nothing you can do about it.
The world is my will, and she loves me too much to go against it. She would hurt herself and bleed on my altar, she would sacrifice herself so that I could go to the sky, my sky, a bow of thanks against the faces of the clouds, fragile light rain, as the clouds disappear once again to reveal the sun’s reality.
It allows me to flourish, to create. At night I deal with it in my dreams, even though my body is not flourishing. At night in my dreams, I am so tangible, yet so vague, and one night I cried out and ran, galloped, sweated the distance between our worlds, no conflicts.
When I broke down, she was there, in action. Smoothing the wrinkles.
She has the power of creation. And she doesn't want to make use of it. That is worthy of me, because I deserve it, and never, never, will we fulfill it.
(Do not ask stupid questions, just take, post it or publish it, in fact publish it. It would make it immortal, tangible. And do not ask stupid questions. Don't.)
05/24/01 MSN
chat
Stronger than you: Hello to the seeker.
Looking for a challenge: Hello, hello.
Looking for a challenge: Stronger than me? Prove it to me!
Stronger than you: I would love to prove it to you.
Looking for a challenge: Remains to be seen. We'll live and see.
Stronger than you: You'll live for sure?
Looking for a challenge: These days, who can ever be sure of anything?
Stronger than you: So what challenge are you looking for?
Looking for a challenge: Meeting between powers.
Stronger than you: Explain.
Looking for a challenge: There are rules.
Stronger than you: And they are?
Looking for a challenge: 1. Without sex.
Stronger than you: Already sounds good.
Looking for a challenge: 2. Without romance.
Stronger than you: 3. And without lies?
Looking for a challenge: Great. Who here knows me?
Stronger than you: One that has no problem with no sex.
Looking for a challenge: Come on. I don't like such nonsense.
Stronger than you: Don’t bother me with romance.
Looking for a challenge: Sigal? Is this Sigal?
Stronger than you: No. Who's Sigal?
Looking for a challenge: Doesn’t matter.
Stronger than you: But I have little lies.
Looking for a challenge: If there are lies, I'm not interested.
Stronger than you: Even if genetics lie?
Looking for a challenge: ?
Stronger than you: LOL
Looking for a challenge: ???? Who is it?
Stronger than you: You have one guess. And it can't be Sigal.
Looking for a challenge: I can't guess. Who are you?
Stronger than you: Then you already know this from that, and then you know!
Looking for a challenge: Gosh, you're such a joker.
Looking for a challenge: But I'm glad to see you.
Stronger than you: Happy to see you too. And you will have to tell me about Sigal one day.
Looking for a challenge: You can’t find out for yourself?
Stronger than you: Sure, but I don’t know what you mean by your Sigal.
Stronger than you: You have the three at a time.
Looking for a challenge: But only one serious, with the scent.
Stronger than you: Oh, Siiiiiiiigal. I understood. Good luck.
Looking for a challenge: Ha ha ha! How are you?
Stronger than you: It depends. Physically, really bad.
Looking for a challenge: What happened?
Stronger than you: Haven't you read what I sent you?
Looking for a challenge: I read, I read.
Stronger than you: Then you know what happened. The problem is that it was not a full recovery. I am currently running on a quarter lung capacity. Now I get modified oxygen, because normal air isn't working for me.
Looking for a challenge: Oxygen? In a tank?
Stronger than you: Yes.
Looking for a challenge: Not fun.
Stronger than you: Great fun. I drag a tank with me wherever I go, which is heavy with this wheelbarrow that goes with it. Lucky I'm not going far…
Looking for a challenge: Sounds bad. Is there a cure?
Stronger than you: They sent me to all kinds of doctors. They have no idea what it is, and I did all kinds of unnecessary tests.
Looking for a challenge: But is there a cure?
Stronger than you: You really don’t understand? There is no cure, because it's a part of me now. Only a quarter of my lungs work, the rest inactive – like they were cut off. They’re there but they can’t absorb oxygen. Like I'm disabled. And the poor doctors, they have no idea what caused it, no one picks up. I shouldn’t even talk about it.
Looking for a challenge: I … am sorry.
Stronger than you: What? At least I'm not dead. I told you, physically I don't feel well, but I'm the happiest man in the world, believe me.
Looking for a challenge: Tell me, how come you’re telling me all this? You could be tracked by the details you give me.
Stronger than you: You could, if you knew how. But I like talking to you from another computer altogether, a former Israeli living in the Netherlands. I use her computer as a cover.
Looking for a challenge: If you say so. I personally don't understand too much about it. The best thing is you're alive, you're alright.
Stronger than you: Lia says she would love to publish my case to the world. Says it will make me a world-renowned geneticist.
Looking for a challenge: You want me to post it for you?
Stronger than you: You crazy? Tell me, are you on pills?
Stronger than you: Turn it on.
Stronger than you: Turn on the camera.
Looking for a challenge: Forget it.
Stronger than you: Do it! Well, then, I’ll turn it on.
Looking for a challenge: Negative, leave my camera, really. Little boy.
Stronger than you: Turned it back on you!
Looking for a challenge: There, satisfied?
Stronger than you: I knew it! You're on drugs.
Looking for a challenge: Yes, I ran two lines of coke earlier…
Stronger than you: See.
Stronger than you: I lay with her.
Looking for a challenge: ?
Stronger than you: I lay with her. With Lia.
Looking for a challenge: Awesome.
Stronger than you: Yes ... I don’t know what it means yet…
Looking for a challenge: When did this happen?
Stronger than you: Oh! Don’t ask!
*
Saul Keshny looked repeatedly at the documents in his hand. Turned them up and down, wondered about them. Read them again, from the beginning. Every detail, every line. He arranged the picture in his head, trying to find a new logic, that had escaped his notice so far.
He could not. And that did not make him feel good.
Because things happened.
So, at least, that gut feeling told him. And he learned to trust it over the years, he learned to trust it well. You cannot make such a career, first in intelligence and then in the Mossad, without developing a lethal gut feeling. Sharp. And his stomach was burning now, as if a flare had been thrown into it.
Things happened.
But what happened? What just happened, he asked his papers, and took a pill. They said, in the past, that he could cure the chronic pain he had. It is a bacteria that causes sensitivity in the stomach and intestines, and two weeks of antibiotics will fix it.
But then there was that case in Jordan, and his stomach burned all night, would not let him sleep until he spotted this little lie that was hidden between the lines. And saved some people. Several thousand people, potentially.
So he gave up the treatment. Let it be painful, if necessary. Saul could bear such pain. For now.
And things had happened.
Do you treat them? If so, how? He did not know.
The medical reports were full of question marks. Packed! What was this disease, what caused it and what were its consequences? Was it contagious? Was there a way of curing it?
Long chains of doctors were called in to work on this case. Third and fourth opinions were given, all with different hypotheses, no one really explaining what happened. His most important soldier nearly died from a mysterious lung disease, and no one knew what and why.
This, in itself, was a red mark. But, of course, what increased this by frightening proportions was the role of the soldier. And his work environment.
Strange disease, said the report.
Here in the mountains, deep underground, in the officially non-existent laboratory, hundreds of types of diseases were grown and tamed. Hundreds of varieties! Who could guarantee that the strange disease did not come from here, from one of the labs? If this looks like a crocodile, and smells like a crocodile, and b
ites like a crocodile, it's probably a crocodile.
If it's a crocodile, we must kill it. Keshny wondered, for the thousandth time, whether to declare Biological Alertness - emergency measures. But maintaining absolute sterility between inside and out was the second goal of this complex.
Stomach was burning like hell. Keshny gave a sigh.
So, to declare a state of Bio Alert? He would announce it without thinking twice, if it was happening in Israel. But this mysterious disease attacked Zomy in New York. Fucking fuck.
Actually in New York!
So if there was any virus leak, it occurred here recently. And nothing could be done to contain it. Pandora's box was opened, and all evils of the world were out. And in New York, of all places.
What was the name of the virus? What was the meaning of this, if there was one, anyway?
He had been asked to conduct all necessary tests to order. None of them developed a similar symptom, not even the doctor was in New York at that time, though it is not clear why.
Stomach burning.
Yes, the doctor was silent. He kept her case very close to his chest, and it had been scanned to check various similarities with the soldier number one. There were some subtle things, nothing more. But he was not about to ignore his guts. He went further. Both of them were in New York at the same time, more or less?
He should check it out.
Beyond that, he examined in detail the records of all hospitals in New York. There was no significant increase in lung disease in recent times, not even any other unexplained viral outbreaks. Nothing unexplained, nothing extraordinary.
Mmm, this doctor. Too silent, always.
And why, really, why was she there in New York? Really a family vacation? At such short notice? He did not buy these explanations. Things happened, things happened. Or else his stomach would not burn, dammit.
What could have happened there? Was it a romance that took shape, between her and his favorite Computerman? He’d watched them both closely in recent days. There was some tension, no doubt. Sexual tension? Maybe. Lia was, nevertheless, an attractive woman. And Computerman was ...
Lonely?
That was the word. Zomy was completely alone. He had only loose ties with his family, nothing from the army, and no - he looked again… was this the last weekly GSS report? No, nothing to do with women. Not with men either, the report noted dryly.
