If you are truly curious, and really like taking an active part in your health care, get a speculum and do an exam on yourself in the privacy of your own home. As the Delphic Oracle said, “Know Thyself!”
A Rose by Any Other Name
There are a lot of names used to refer to the vulva. Each of us probably has a favorite or two, and most of us have one or two terms we’ve heard that make our blood boil! Many names of female-genital origin have become four-letter words, put-downs, insults. Many words for the vulva have come to define all that is ostensibly evil about women, our fatal flaw, our shame.
Figure 5: Vulva
And there are many names that we are reclaiming, just like the word Witch. Cunt comes from the same root as “country,” “knowing,” and “kin.”2 Snatch is a word that some of us love and some of us hate. Cunt is a loaded word, and one that brings up feelings for people that cover the gamut from shame to empowerment. Other words seem softer yet may carry with them a sense of belittlement.
All of these words have meaning at the cultural level as well as meanings that are relevant to each of us, individually. What words work for you? What words don’t? And why?
What It’s Called—A Compendium of Names for the Vulva:
Animal, beast, bitch, boat, box, bush, cake, canyon, cat, cleft, cookie, cootch, crotch, cunt, down there, family jewels, fire box, fish, flaming lips, flower, fuck-hole, fuck-toy, garden, gash, girl, ground, hole, hope chest, it, jungle, kitty, meat, monkey, monster, mound, nappy dug-out, naughty, pie, poon, princess, privates, pussy, secret garden, she, shell, slit, snatch, south of the border, spicy tuna, spot, sushi, taco, toy, tuna, twat, well, window, wonder spot, wound, Y, yoni.
What It’s Called, Formally
• Vulva refers to the female external genital area. This word originates from the Latin volvere, and shares its root with evolve, well, vault, and leaf of a door.
• Vagina is the medical term for the canal that leads from the vulva to the cervix. Vagina is a Latin word that means “sheath for a sword.”
• The clitoris covers a much larger area than most medical books credit it with. The clitoris is not just the nib somewhere near the apex of your vulva (which is actually the glans of the clitoris) but a whole structure of nerves and muscle that extends deep into your abdominal cavity and wraps around your vaginal canal. Your inner labia are also part of your clitoral structure.
Magickal Act: Names We Call It
This exercise has three parts.
What You Will Need
• A writing implement.
• Paper.
• At least twenty minutes of uninterrupted time.
How-To
• Give yourself three minutes to write down as many words as you can think of—positive or negative—that refer to the female genitals.
• Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper, and then create two mind maps (see the Introduction for details), one on each section of the paper. One side will be words you like, and the other, words you don’t.
• Now, do a free-write for ten minutes. Each time you get to a stopping point in your flow, choose another word to start with, from the opposite side of your mind map.
What It’s Called—A Compendium of Names for the Clitoris: Baby, birdy, bit, bud, button, candy, clitty, head, love-button, man in the boat, nib, nub, pea in the pod, pit, skittle, spot, stone, tip.
Information: Clitical!
The word clitoris comes from the Greek kleitoris, meaning “incline” or “hill.” Clitoris shares its linguistic roots with the words climax AND bed. How cool is that? The clit has 8,000 nerve endings, and averages—believe it or not—about the same length as the penis: somewhere around four inches in length.3 More than three-quarters of the clitoris is hidden inside the abdominal cavity.
The external part of the clitoris, which is called the glans, is on average about three-quarters of an inch long. Much of this tissue may be hidden by the clitoral hood, which is analogous to the foreskin of the penis. In fact, the clit (all of it, not just the part you can see) is made of the same kind of tissue as much of the penis: corpora cavernosa. Corpora cavernosa is an erectile tissue.
Figure 6: Clitoral Structure
Although some medical journals have included more or less accurate data and images regarding the structure of the clitoris since as early as the 1940s, all undergraduate-level textbooks still show only the glans of the clitoris. This appears as a peanut-shaped object at the apex of the labia minora, or “minor lips.” (Labia minora seems a silly designation, too, as many women have much more pronounced inner lips than outer.)
Female Ejaculation—How-To:
• Find your G-spot.
• Play with it.
• Allow yourself to relax and let go.
• Gush!
For more info, see the resources in Appendix III.
These textbooks, and the even the posters of female sexual and reproductive anatomy on the walls of many women’s clinics, do not show the overall structure of the clitoris. The clitoral structure includes the glans, the shaft, the crura, and the vestibules (Figure 6). There is debate over whether the vestibules should be considered part of the structure of the clitoris or not.
The fact that we have historically had to work very hard to see images of the clitoris as a whole, unless we enter medical school, is unfortunate. But through the work of G-spot and women’s sexuality pioneers like Deborah Sundahl, Annie Sprinkle, Nina Hartley, Susie Bright, Carol Queen, and now yours truly, we are remedying that, right? (For more info on these amazing women, see Appendix II: A Compendium of S/heroes, and Appendix III: Informational Resources.)
You’ve done the work, and you now have more info about how your sexual anatomy actually looks than most women who aren’t doctors. Maybe this will help as you explore more thoroughly how it works!
The Goddess Spot
There are theories that the internal clitoral tissues are what make G-spot stimulation so amazing and intense for some women. Other theories state that tissue in the urethral sponge, behind what is considered the G-spot, is analogous to the prostate, or rather that this is the female prostate. If you have had the opportunity to play with both the G-spot and the male prostate, you will be unable to deny that they seem to work pretty much the same way!
Male Names for Female Parts
In the tradition of imperialism, the one who “discovers” something gets to claim it. This has happened with many parts of the female body. G-Spot is short for the Grafenberg Spot and is named after Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, the male doctor who first wrote about the G-spot phenomenon.
If you want to claim your spot as your own, you could give it a name that works better for you. Some women call it the Goddess-spot (so as to keep the “G-”), some call it the spot, some call it the sacred gate, and some call it the ridge. Claim it! Use whatever word you like best.
Spell Working: Love This!
Write a love poem to your amazing anatomy of pleasure. Or, you could even write an anthem of Pussy Pride. Whatever form you choose, write something that makes you feel giggly, profoundly proud, wild, wanton, awestruck, defiant, delicious, or all of these.
What You Will Need
• Your journal.
• Writing implements.
Optional
• If you want to, you can write your piece on nice paper or cardstock, decorate it, and even frame it.
Geysers of Lovin’
Women can ejaculate. For some women, ejaculation occurs spontaneously, though some of us have to work at it if we want to see ourselves squirt. While ejaculating can be a disconcerting experience if it happens all by itself, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
What It’s Called—
A Compendium of Names for the Vagina: Black hole, box, canal, cauldron, cave, cavern, cl
oset, gate, hole, holy of holies, hungry hole, pit, sanctuary, scabbard, sheath, tunnel, tunnel of love, well.
• • •
What It’s Called—
A Compendium of Names for the Anus: Ass, asshole, back door, brown eye, bum, bunghole, butt, crack, hole, pooper, rose bud, sphincter, starfish.
Unfortunately, many women who do not know that women can ejaculate become embarrassed by spontaneous ejaculation. Some assume that the ejaculate is urine, but it’s not. Studies done on the chemical makeup of female ejaculate have found that the ejaculate is made up primarily of “prostate-specific antigen,” or PSA. In other words, it’s mostly prostate fluid, just like male ejaculate.
Tunnel of Love
There are so many parts of our wondrous anatomy to explore! Did you know that the vagina is not actually a tunnel? Your vaginal canal is not an actual space, but a potential space. When you are aroused, the walls of the vagina become engorged and pull out, making room for penetration.
In the images you have seen in textbooks, the opening of the vagina was almost certainly shown as a dark hole. If you were to look at your own vulva and vaginal opening, you would see tissue—layers upon layers of it.
Rose Bud
Okay, not everyone considers their anus part of their sexual anatomy. You may be cringing now as you read this. You may, at this very moment, feel shocked and embarrassed. Guess what? No one’s watching you, so it’s okay to let yourself get a little uncomfortable.
As with the rest of your anatomy, I really recommend getting intimate, in whatever ways are comfortable for you, with your bum. Visual awareness of what your anal area looks like when healthy is important.
Many people (women and men both) really enjoy anal stimulation. If you have never journeyed down this path and are curious, there are some great books out there. Check Appendix III for resources.
Right now we aren’t going to push the issue of anal sex (pun intended). However, in preparation for the next exercise, I would like you to entertain the notion of bringing an objective eye to your anus.
Journaling Prompts: The Anus Monologues
• When I think of my anus, I feel . . .
• When I think of looking at my anus, I . . .
• When I think of anal sex, I . . .
Every Body Is Different
Most of us have no idea how vulvas look. FYI: Each one is different, like a snowflake! Coloring, shape, taste, scent, and sensation are individual, just like the lines on our palms and the sensitivity of our skins. Your vulva is another precious testament to your uniqueness.
In future chapters we will delve into sensation, taste, and scent. We begin here with the most ubiquitous of our senses—sight.
Journaling Prompts: I Spy, With My Eye . . .
• When I think about my vulva, . . .
• When I think of looking at my vulva, . . .
• My vulva is . . .
• Vulvas look . . .
Magickal Act: Pussy Gazing
What You Will Need
• A large, freestanding or wall-mounted mirror.
• Privacy.
• Uninterrupted time (at least an hour).
• A clock or timer.
• Pillows, a blanket, or your bed if you can set the mirror up to work there.
• Tissues, in case of tears.
• A glass of water, for thirst.
• Drawing, painting, and writing implements.
• Your journal.
• Your curiosity!
The goal of this exercise is to become familiar with your personal genital terrain, and to begin building up your sense of genital self-image and self-esteem. This is the starting point of creating an intimate relationship with your wonderful vulva.
This exercise may uncork some deep emotions, so be prepared for tears. It may feel ridiculous, so be prepared for embarrassed laughter. It may be uncomfortable on any number of levels, so be prepared to possibly feel a bit chagrined, or at least challenged. This exercise is sure to be interesting and revealing if you give it the time it needs, and if you open yourself up to the experience. Be prepared to see yourself in a whole new light.
Set up a comfortable area where you can relax while viewing your pussy in the mirror. Once your space is set up, remove your clothes (at least on the lower half of your body), spread your legs, and sit—or lie—back while looking at your vulva in the mirror. For at least ten minutes, visually explore your pussy.
Use your fingers to move your labia around. Pull back your clitoral hood, and look at the glans of your clitoris. Open the inner labia, and look at the opening of your canal. Notice the colors of the different types of tissue.
This is the region where you find the epicenters and culminations of physical passion. This area may, or may not—but can, nonetheless—stretch wide enough to allow a baby into this world. It’s the spot that may have brought unwanted attention, or may have brought painfully desired interest. It’s the nexus that is by turns the source of ridicule and worship. It is a place that is powerful in so many ways, and the sacred space that is hidden, occult.
This is an exercise in observation. This is not foreplay (unless you get so turned on looking at yourself that you just must have a go at it). It is an opportunity to know how you look, and ideally to find some awe in that.
Be open to whatever thoughts come up for you while doing this exercise. It may be emotional. You may feel shame or embarrassment. You may feel elation, or excitement. You may feel disgust, and you may feel awe. Maybe you will feel all of these things.
Notice the emotions you are experiencing, and let them pass. You will have the opportunity to write about them after you’ve had the time to sit with the experience for a little while.
After about ten to fifteen minutes of gazing, you can begin painting, drawing, or making a collage. Illustrate what you see and/or what you feel. Do this for at least five to ten minutes.
Want to See Some Variations on the Theme?
You can see all sorts of different vulvas in beautiful, intriguing, and nonsexual photos at www.the-clitoris.com.
When you feel done drawing or painting, write about what you see and what you feel for at least five to fifteen minutes.
When you are done with this exercise, you may dress, take a break, drink some water, stretch. Once you feel ready, come back to your paper and writing implements, and write about the experience.
★ Daily Practice: Quality Time
Every day this week, spend some time with your vulva. Read your love poem to it. Take pictures of it. Dress it up. Dye its hair if it has any. (Manic Panic Hair Dye comes in wild colors, is mild, vegan, and is not tested on animals.) Anoint it with oils. Sing songs to it. Touch it. Play with it. Worship it.
Onward and Inward!
All right, sexy. It’s time to go to the correct ritual section in part 2 and perform your third initiation. Enjoy!
[contents]
1. Laura A. Berman and Jennifer R. Berman, “Viagra and Beyond: Where Sex Educators and Therapists Fit in from a Multidisciplinary Perspective,” Journal of Sex Education and Therapy 25 (2000): 1.17-24.
2. Take Our Word For It, http://www.takeourword.com/pt.html.
3. The-Clitoris.com, http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/fr_index.htm.
chapter four
Carnal Knowledge:
Masturbation, Menstruation,
Matrices
★ Daily Practice: Sex Magick, page 71.
My Body!
It is not without reason that many of us are alienated from our genitals, our reproductive organs, our sexuality, or our power. These parts of us have all been used to hold us down, to keep us powerless, to tie us to an externally imposed “destiny.” It’s time for us to take ownership of ourselves, all in all. To that end, it is important that we know the tools of our o
ppression and repression, how they have been used, and how to recognize them so that we won’t accept the old arguments as “fact” any longer.
In an effort to give context to the shame and pain we may feel about our bodies and our sexuality, I will delve a little bit deeper than might be comfortable into some hidden terrain. This landscape may hold keys to the warp and weft of an invisible backdrop that is our collective angst.
Malleus Maleficarum: This book, written by Heinrich Kramer and James Sprenger, fanned the flames of the Witch-burning fires. It was first published in 1486, and was the reference by which the Witch Hunts were carried out. The Witch Hunts lasted from the late 1400s to the late 1700s. It was primarily women who were accused, tried, convicted, and executed. At the height of the Witch Hunts, some whole towns in Europe were left empty of women.
• • •
Hysteria: A term coined by Plato that meant “wandering womb.” Hysteria was not removed as a diagnosis from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) until 1994. The term is still used to describe “overly emotional” behavior.
Maybe This Explains Some of the Hating
During the Witch Hunts, which spanned over 300 years, expression of sexuality by females could be grounds for accusations of witchcraft.1 The last execution in the name of the Witch Hunts was in 1782.2 The last recorded Witch trial in the United States was in 1878.3 In other words, your great grandmother could have been tried as a Witch.
Sexy Witch Page 7
