When Ruth had picked Cece up from Jeb and Clementine’s house she had been happy. She bounced around in the car telling Ruth about how she’d watched a movie with the whole family. They all sat in the living room watching a movie and eating popcorn with M&M’s in it. It was delicious, Cece had told her. Then, Cece delivered the stunner:
“I wish we had a family. Sam is so lucky. He’s even got a big brother.”
That hit Ruth hard. “We have a family.”
“Not like theirs. We just have you and me. Sometimes I wish I had another mommy, but I’d take a dad if I had to.”
“You know I don’t roll that way.”
“I know,” Cece said. She looked out the window and didn’t talk for the rest of the blessedly short trip home.
Ruth tucked Cece into her bed after she brushed her teeth. Pulling the covers up to her chin, Cece had said, “Clementine said we don’t get to have candy except on special occasions. So having me over and getting chocolate must mean I’m a special occasion. I like that.”
“You are very special. I love you, Punkin’,” Ruth said.
“I love you, too, Mommy.”
Ruth kissed Cece’s forehead and left the door cracked as she always did.
Now, sitting on the porch swing with Tamika’s number in her hand, she wondered if that was Cece’s way of telling her that she was ready to accept another person in their lives? But was Tamika the right person for the job? Ruth mustn’t let her hormones lead her toward something that wasn’t right for her daughter.
***
Parker came out to the deck with two mineral waters. She sat in the chaise lounge next to Amy. Rascal lay at her feet, exhausted from chasing squirrels. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth.
“How are you feeling?” Parker asked.
Taking the mineral water from Parker, Amy held it up against her forehead. “I’m as tired as Rascal.”
“At least you’re not drooling.”
“Would you still love me if I were?”
“I would, but I’d get you a bib,” Parker said. She listened to the waves as they lapped up against the deck. She wondered if the baby felt the same kind of peace wrapped up in Amy’s womb. She hoped so.
“Lord knows, we have enough bibs now. I could borrow one or two.” Amy looked over at Parker. She took her hand. “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.”
Parker kissed her hand. “Me, too.”
Amy asked, “Really? But you look so calm.”
Parker shrugged. “I have it compartmentalized and that helps. Building the room is relatively simple. I designed this house with an eye toward additions. That’s why it has a flat roof and straight lines. It makes adding on much simpler.”
“Did you plan on having a family?” Amy asked.
“I did. I was just waiting for the right person to come along.”
“And has she?”
“You know the answer to that.”
“I do.”
“You better practice saying ‘I do,’” Parker said.
“Oh god, don’t remind me. What if we really do end up with a theme wedding? I think Millie and the girls are serious about giving us one.”
“I’m feeling relieved actually. We should’ve handed the wedding plans over to Millie in the first place. She can organize anything.” Parker smiled.
“I think you’ll look sexy as hell in a pair of chaps,” Amy said. She reached over and took Parker’s hand.
“We can do this,” Parker said. Saying it out loud seemed to make it more real. Maybe if she said it enough times, she would begin to believe it.
“You should let Steph help with building the baby’s room.”
“Good idea. Maybe that’ll keep her away from her latest matchmaking endeavor,” Parker said.
“I wouldn’t count on it,” Amy said, laughing.
***
Susan sat out on the deck of their newly built lake house. She could just barely make out the lights of Parker and Amy’s house through the copse of trees that separated their properties. The reflection of the waning moon danced across the ripples of the lake. A cool breeze made sitting outside even more pleasant. She loved sitting on the deck, looking at the lake, hearing the crickets and cicadas as they infused the night air with sound. She’d never thought of herself as much of a nature girl, but living out here had given her a new appreciation. Living here made her slow down, breathe, listen, and think. Right now, though, she wished she weren’t thinking.
Tess opened the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the deck. She took a moment to savor the sight of the lake before handing Susan a glass of wine. “How’re you doing?” she asked.
“It’s nice out here.”
“But what’s going on in there?” Tess said, pointing to Susan’s head.
Susan sipped her wine before saying, “I talked to Clara.”
“And?”
“She’s refusing treatment,” Susan said.
Tess knew about Clara’s cancer. It wasn’t something Susan could keep from her. Clara knew that and was fine with it. She’d patted Susan’s hand and said, “You can’t keep secrets from each other. You’ve learned that the hard way.”
Clara was right about that. Susan had kept her relationship with her ex-girlfriend a secret from Tess because she’d thought it best at the time. As it turned out, it was the worst thing she could’ve done.
Things were good now and she intended on keeping them that way. She couldn’t make herself get through another wedding, but buying the house together and promising to spend the rest of their lives together worked for both of them. Susan loved Tess more each day and it still amazed her. She fiercely fought off the feeling that she was waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop—with Tess it would be different. Tess was not Carrie and never would be.
“I can understand Clara’s refusal,” Tess said, sitting down next to Susan in a deck chair with her own glass of wine.
“Really?” Susan said. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Why wouldn’t anyone want treatment? Sure, it was a long shot, a wing and a prayer type of thing, but Clara might be the lucky one. And if she weren’t, she’d at least get more time. Deep down Susan knew Clara was going to die. It was just a matter of when.
Tess said, “She’s old. Her body isn’t going to bounce back. She knows it and so do you. I’d want the same thing.”
“You would?” Susan couldn’t imagine losing Tess.
“Definitely. I’d want to go out on my own terms like Clara. Who wants to suffer horribly, be so drugged up you don’t know who you are, or anyone else for that matter? And then the pain and agony turns you mean and everyone is just waiting for you to die to put you out of your misery. Is that how you want your loved ones to remember you?”
“That was bleak,” Susan said. She gazed out at the water. The chirps of bats resonated off the water as they flew across the lake scooping up insects who had the misfortune to be in their path.
“It may be bleak, but am I right?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“You’ve got to stop thinking like a doctor when it comes to Clara. She’s decided. Don’t try to talk her out of it. Death is a very personal experience. And I don’t think that the law has the right to tell us how to live our lives, barring criminal offences, nor how to die.”
“So you believe in assisted suicide?”
“I do. Clara is in her right mind and she’s made the decision to end her life when she’s ready. I’m proud of her strength and I admire her ability to make such a difficult choice.”
Susan realized that Tess’s job as a social worker made her see things most people couldn’t handle. Susan saw physically injured people; Tess saw the walking wounded—many of which were children. Susan knew Tess was right. It was Clara’s body and ultimately her decision to opt out of treatment. Susan would have to accept that decision.
“I’ll try to understand, but I can’t imagine how hurt Mabel will be, how saddened we’ll all be,” Susan sai
d. She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to cry but Clara and the rest of the older women were the family Susan never had and the thought of losing one of them was heartbreaking.
“We’re going to have to get used to this. Those wonderful ladies are getting up there,” Tess said.
“Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.”
“I know, sweetie. I’ll be there for both you and Clara. She’s a wonderful woman and like the old saying goes, ‘A lady always knows when it is time to leave.’”
Susan nodded. It was times like these that she knew how much she needed Tess in her life.
Chapter Seven
“Well, how do I look?” Steph asked. She was leaning against a pile of lumber, affecting casual and relaxed, her tool belt cinched tightly around her waist.
“Like you’re ready to build,” Jose said. He was Parker’s assistant. He was Mexican-American, had black hair and matching eyes, was shorter than Parker and very muscular. Even his muscles had muscles. Jose and Parker worked together well. They matched each other in skill, temperament, and drive. They’d done a lot of jobs together but none this important. This job was special.
Parker said, “You look like one of those guys from Village People.”
“Not funny,” Steph said. “I can do this.”
“I know you can, but you have to be safe and listen to Jose’s instructions,” Parker said.
“I’ve got my safety goggles right here,” Steph said, pulling them out of a side pocket of her tool belt. She knocked the hammer out and it landed on her toe. “Ouch!”
Rascal’s head popped up from a hole he was digging next to a birch tree. He ran over and licked Steph’s hand. He whimpered and she patted his head. “I’m okay, boy. Go back to what you were doing,” she said. He sat, cocked his head and waited.
“It’s okay,” Parker said. “Go play.” Rascal yipped and ran back to his digging.
“The hammer goes here,” Parker said, showing Steph.
“Right.” Steph said.
“Good thing you’re wearing boots,” Jose said.
“I know, right?” Steph said.
Parker unrolled the architectural drawing on a stack of plywood. “So, here’s what we’ve got.”
Jose and Steph bumped into each other trying to look at the plans. He smiled at her. “Ladies first.”
“No, you look. You understand what you’re looking at,” Steph said.
Jose leaned in. He studied the plans. “Looks pretty basic.”
“It is. Using ladders is the only down side,” Parker said. Second-story jobs were not her favorite. Ladder work had an inherent risk.
“I’ll start bringing up the supplies,” Jose said. This was where Jose’s muscles came into play. He would be responsible for carrying the supplies up the ladder.
“Steph and I will start on removing the old roof,” Parker said. She handed Steph a scraper attached to a pole.
“Where are we going to put all the stuff we scrape off?” Steph asked.
“Over there,” Parker said, pointing to a large green dumpster she’d rented.
“Oh, right,” Steph said. “I knew that.”
“You won’t be needing your toolbelt for awhile. Leave it down here for now,” Parker said.
“Okay,” Steph said. She followed Parker up the ladder and they began to scrape the old roof from above the carport. It was hot, tedious, and tiring work.
The baby’s room would have an overhang that covered the walkway on the side of the house that lead to the lower deck. It made the addition look less like an addition and more like an integral part of the house. It wouldn’t have a lake view because it was on the other side of the house, but that couldn’t be helped. However, it did have a view of the woods. The trees were pretty and in the spring and fall the view would be gorgeous.
They worked in silence until lunchtime. Jose was ecstatic with the food Steph had brought. He scarfed down two muffulettas.
“Damn, these are good,” Jose said his mouth full. “Sure beats my usual bologna sandwich.”
Steph beamed. “That makes it official. I’m the lunch maker.”
“All right by me,” Jose said.
“Sounds good,” Parker agreed. She stood and wiped her mouth with her napkin. “Time to get busy. We get the floor down and we can start on the walls.”
“Awesome. I’ll put this stuff away and be right back,” Steph said.
When she was out of earshot, Jose leaned toward Parker. “We could get this done a whole lot quicker with just the two of us.”
“I know, but it makes her happy and we’ve got time. And there are the lunches.”
“I’ll try to keep her from hurting herself,” Jose said, strapping his toolbelt on.
“Thank you.”
Laying the floor took the rest of the day. Parker taught Steph how to hold the hammer properly after she smashed her thumb. “Who knew hammers were so dangerous?” Steph said.
“They’ve been used as murder weapons,” Jose said. “My cousin, Juan, was chased around the yard by his wife with a hammer. He’s never lived that one down.”
“Are they still married?” Steph asked.
“Oh, yeah. They made mad, passionate love afterwards. They always do,” Jose said. He pulled out one of Steph’s bent nails from the subfloor.
“Isn’t he scared she might do it again?” Steph asked.
“He got rid of the hammer.” Jose pounded a nail expertly.
“I’m calling it a day,” Parker said. “Let’s carry the tools down. Everything else can stay.”
As they gathered their tools, Steph asked, “So Jose, you’ve got twins, right?”
He nodded. “And they are a handful. My wife is staying home until they go to school. Daycare isn’t an option for her. She wants to raise them.”
“How old are they?”
“Almost two. The terrible twos as my wife says. But she loves them to death,” Jose said. He smiled and Steph could see that he was a proud Papa and a loving father. “They’re so funny. It’s amazing watching them discover new things every day—not necessarily good things, but what the hell, they gotta try stuff out.”
“I can only imagine,” Steph said.
Once on the ground, Parker asked, “What if they discovered they don’t like you?”
“They love me,” Jose said.
“I didn’t say love, I said like.”
“That doesn’t happen until they’re teenagers,” Jose said. “When they’re little you are God to them. Every night they run to greet me, throw their arms around me, and give me a million kisses.” He smiled. “There is nothing better.”
“I wouldn’t worry about your baby not liking you,” Steph said to Parker.
“Parker, the baby will love you and like you. You’re going to be a great parent,” Jose said. “I have the utmost confidence in you.”
“If only I had as much,” Parker muttered.
***
“Wow, I can’t believe you got all this done in only three days,” Amy said. She was standing in the driveway and looking up at the completed walls of the baby’s room. She leaned over stiffly and picked up Rascal’s tennis ball. Her back was killing her. She tossed the ball and Rascal made a dash for it. It bounced off a tree and Rascal caught it on the rebound.
“I had a lot of help,” Parker said.
“Speaking of which, how’d Steph do?” She was always amazed at Parker’s ability to get stuff done. She set her mind to something like building the baby’s room and in only three days the outside armature was in place.
“Other than issues with the hammer, she did well. Jose’s a patient teacher and she’s an eager learner.”
“What do you mean, issues with a hammer?”
“Dropped it on her toe and almost lost a thumbnail until she got the hang of it. There’s more to swinging a hammer than most people think,” Parker said.
“I wish I were handy,” Amy said.
“Why? You have me,” Parker said. “Unles
s you’re planning on getting rid of me.”
“I would never get rid of you. Remember, we’re getting married.” Amy patted her belly, “And starting a family.”
“So, we’re good?”
“We are so good,” Amy said. She reached over and squeezed Parker’s butt.
Parker grinned.
“Now, I need to get off my feet, sit on the deck, and have a tall glass of lemonade.” Amy put her hand at the small of her back. “My back is killing me.”
Rascal brought back the muddy ball and dropped it at Parker’s feet. His snout was covered in dirt and his paws were caked with mud. Obviously, he had been digging.
“You are filthy,” Parker said to Rascal. “You know better than that.” Rascal dipped his head in shame. Parker pointed to the lake. “Go get clean. Right now.”
Rascal walked toward the lake. He looked back once, but Parker stood firm. “Go.” He continued to the lake. She’s going to make a good parent, Amy thought. As they walked toward the house, Amy said, “You’ll make a good disciplinarian for our child.”
“So, you’re going to make me the bad guy?” Parker asked.
Amy stopped walking. “I’m scared that I’m going to be a terrible mother. I didn’t have a great role model. What if I turn out like my mother?” She burst into sudden tears.
Parker pulled her into arms. Rascal must’ve heard her because he ran back, muddy and wet, to check on them. He leapt up at Amy, trying to wrap his paws around her sobbing frame. Amy laughed. Now, all three of them were wet and muddy.
“Yeah, some disciplinarian I am,” Parker said.
Amy sniffed and pushed Rascal off them. He sat obediently waiting for them to give him the “it’s okay, boy,” command.
“We are covered in mud,” Parker said. “There’s only one thing left to do.”
“What?” Amy asked.
“We all have to go for a swim now,” Parker said. She attempted to brush the mud off, but only succeeded in smearing it around more.
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