“Does that mean you’ll go steady with me?” Ruth joked.
“Only if you give me your letterman jacket.”
“It’s yours.”
***
When Ruth opened the door, Millie sat up on the couch, rubbing her eyes. Bernie was in the recliner, mouth open and snoring. She sat straight up when she heard Ruth shut the door behind her. “You caught us sleeping on the job,” Bernie said then yawned.
“That’s because it’s one thirty in the morning,” Ruth said.
“Did you have a good time?” Millie asked. She added a wink.
“A very good time,” Ruth said. She had decided on the way home not to mention Cece’s middle of the night call. She didn’t want Millie and Bernie to feel bad. “Do you want to stay in the guest room instead of driving home?”
“It’s not even three miles away. I think we can make it,” Millie said.
“Besides, we’ll get to sleep in and, unfortunately, miss yoga,” Bernie said, snapping her fingers and trying to look disappointed.
“There’s a class after the lunch hour,” Millie informed her.
“Oh, yeah… forgot about that,” Bernie said. She got up and stretched.
“Off we go,” Millie said. She gave Ruth a hug. So did Bernie.
“I’m so proud of you for taking a chance on Tamika. She’s good people,” Bernie said, releasing Ruth from her bear hug.
“I’m pretty proud of me, too.”
Ruth saw them to the door, checked the driveway to make sure no criminal types were out and about, and waved goodbye. Once they were safely on their way, she locked the door and walked quietly down the hall to Cece’s room. She peeked in. Cece was sound asleep, looking angelic, and hugging her teddy bear. Ruth eased the door shut with a soft click.
She took a couple of deep breaths. Part of her wanted to throttle the child. One night was all she wanted. One night without interruption to spend with the woman she loved. She stopped herself. Did she love Tamika? She sighed. She did. She’d let herself fall in love. And it felt good. She wanted Tamika in her life. And in Cece’s life. Ruth would have a talk with Cece—get the whole thing out in the open. They’d go to the new ice cream parlor and the three of them could hang out, go to Griffin park, get to know one another. Cece could climb around on the jungle gym that the city had put in—yet another upgrade courtesy of their new mayor, Clementine Marshall.
Ruth went to her room, and put on boxers and a tank top. She lay down on her bed and thought of her new life. She hoped it would be the one love that became real, true, and long term. She closed her eyes and thought of Tamika’s soft kisses and the wonderful things she did to Ruth’s body. It’d been a long time since she’d felt this good and she could hardly wait to see Tamika again and hold her in her arms.
Her phone rang. It was Tamika.
“Hey, you,” Ruth said softly into the phone.
“I’m mad at you,” Tamika said.
Ruth sat up. “You are?”
“You left the pie here. Uneaten. Now I have to eat the whole thing by myself,” Tamika said.
Ruth relaxed. She had thought Tamika really was mad at her. “Save half for me.”
There was a long pause, the only sound was their breath.
Finally, Tamika said, “I just wanted to say goodnight. I had a great time.”
Ruth could hear the smile in her voice. “Is it too soon to say I adore you?” Ruth asked, sounding more casual than she felt.
“It is not. I want you to know that you snagged my heart.”
“I think both our hearts are all tangled up.”
“You okay with that?”
“More than okay. I’m fabulous.”
Chapter Fourteen
Mabel was all decked out in her official western gear. She wore her black leather chaps and vest, her gun belt, black snakeskin boots, and a broad-brimmed black cowboy hat with a Wonder Woman hatband. “I look badass,” Mabel said, hooking her thumbs in her gun belt.
“You sure do,” Clara said.
They were in the living room of Clara and Mabel’s house. They were waiting for Parker to pick them up and take them to Mabel’s shooting competition at Top Gun.
Suddenly the front door opened, and Edna walked in. She took one look at Mabel and said, “You’re going to bake yourself in all that black. Good thing Steph will be there in case you get sunstroke.”
“I won’t get sunstroke. Cowgirls are used to the heat. They’re out wrangling cows all day long,” Mabel said. She curled and uncurled her fingers, stretching her trigger finger.
Amy walked in the door. “Everybody ready?”
“We sure are. Where’s Parker?” Mabel asked.
“Moving stuff around in the van. She’s almost ready,” Amy replied, kissing Clara on the forehead.
Suddenly, Clara began to cough. The force of her coughs wracked her thin body with pain. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” she croaked as everyone gathered around her.
Clara wiped her chin with a handkerchief. “Sorry about that.”
“You don’t have to go,” Mabel said. “Edna’s right. It’s hot out there. I don’t want you to get any sicker.”
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Besides Parker has me set up with an umbrella, and a swamp cooler of all things, so I don’t think I’ll be hot. I want to see you compete. It’ll be my last time.”
Mabel swiped at her eyes. “I know.”
Parker came in. She was using her van to transport Clara and her wheelchair. She still had the brackets and tie-downs from when Rosa had used a wheelchair. “I’m all ready. We can go anytime.” Parker said. She leaned down and gave Clara a hug. “You okay?” she stared into Clara’s eyes.
“Right as rain,” Clara said with fake cheer.
Millie came through the front door next. “All set?” Millie asked. “Bernie has the picnic basket and cooler loaded.”
“Let’s roll. I’ve got me an award and some prize money coming,” Mabel said. She rocked back on her heels and put her thumbs in her pockets.
“Now, honey, it’s all right not to win. I’m proud of you for doing this,” Clara said.
“I’ll win, don’t you worry,” Mabel said. She strutted out the front door.
Amy sent up a silent prayer, Please god, if you’re listening, let Mabel win.
***
The shooting range was packed with people. It looked as if the entire town had shown up for the event. Allen Spencer had cordoned off an area by the front of the staging area, so that Parker could back her van in and wheel Clara out easily. He told her that he’d put that spot aside for just that reason. Everything was arranged for Clara’s optimum comfort.
Parker wheeled Clara into place and set the parking brake on her wheelchair. “Everyone is so sweet,” Clara said to Allen. “Thank you.”
“You’re well-loved in this town and don’t you ever forget it,” Allen said. “And your gal here is one hell of a shot.”
Mabel beamed under his praise. “Sure am.”
“And humble too,” Clara said.
“Humility has nothing to do with it. It’s a fact,” Mabel said.
Clara rolled her eyes. “Go win yourself a trophy.”
Mabel lightly kissed Clara before strutting off.
“I hope she wins,” Parker said.
“Me too. She’ll be hell to live with either way,” Clara said.
“She’ll get over it,” Edna said. “Just in time for the next year’s competition.”
“You’ve got that right,” Parker said.
They watched as the competitors signed in and got their number tags. There would be four rounds and then the finals. Mabel’s name was called out thirteenth for the first round. She stared intently at the course, cracking her knuckles. She was getting into the zone.
Amy sat next to Millie and Bernie. She felt the baby kick as if she were clapping for Mabel. She patted her belly and said, “Don’t you worry, baby. Mabel is a force to be reckoned with.”
Parke
r put her hand on Amy’s stomach. The baby kicked again and Parker smiled.“She’s a feisty little thing,” she said.
“We might end up with another Mabel on our hands,” Millie said.
“Oh my, let’s hope not,” Clara said. “The world can only handle one.” She adjusted herself in her chair. Everyone stared. “Stop it, you all. I’m fine. I don’t plan on dying until next week after my going away party.”
“Next week?” Bernie said, gulping.
This was news to them all.
“Now, stop fussing. We’re sending out invitations. It’s going to be quite the send off.” Clara took Amy’s hand. “I’m sorry I won’t be there for your wedding, dear. But I can’t take much more of this. I hope you understand.”
Amy closed her eyes to blink back tears.
“Oh, my. I shouldn’t have sprung it on you like that. I didn’t want to ruin Mabel’s big day.”
They all sat silent.
Mabel came over. She was full of dopamine and serotonin. She studied the group, then Clara’s face. “You told them?”
“I did. Not the best timing,” Clara said. “It slipped out.”
“Well, you all were going to find out soon enough,” Mabel said. She kissed the top of Clara’s head. Allen called out her name. She was up next. “Gotta go. Now, get rid of those long faces. I need a cheering section.”
Amy shook her head in bewilderment. How could Mabel be so calm about losing Clara? She looked over at Clara, who appeared to read her mind. “She’s not going to fall apart until after I’ve passed. It’s for me that she’s holding up so well. She’ll need you plenty after the party. She cares, believe me.”
“I didn’t mean anything,” Amy said, her face reddening.
“I know you didn’t. This whole thing is rather unusual, but it’s how I want it,” Clara said.
Parker nodded. “We know.”
“Then perk up. Mabel is going to kick some ass,” Clara said.
“You sound just like Mabel,” Bernie said.
“I’ve been channeling her for years,” Clara said.
***
“Holy crap,” Parker said.
Holy crap was right. Even though Amy had witnessed Mabel’s prowess on the course prior to the competition, she was still amazed that a woman of her age could scramble, roll, run and shoot with such precision.
Even Clara’s eyes widened at the sight. She’d never seen Mabel do this. Pretty soon everyone in the audience was rooting for Mabel. When she slid into the finish line, the town gave her a standing ovation. She’d won, hands down, no one even came in close to her. Mabel hopped up and down all the way to where Clara and her friends were sitting beneath the canopy. She flew into Clara’s embrace almost knocking over the wheelchair. Luckily, Parker was standing behind Clara’s chair to stop her from toppling.
“You did it!” Clara said. “I’m so proud of you.”
Mabel hugged everyone, whispering her thanks and gratitude. She seemed more humble now than she had been before the competition.
Amy thought perhaps this was the best day of Mabel’s life. She still remembered when Mabel had picked up her first firearm when Millie started her militia. Clara took it away from Mabel for obvious safety reasons, but now look at her. Mabel was the best sharpshooter in the county. That little firecracker of a woman had done her best to give Clara one last show.
Amy was glad the universe had smiled on Mabel and Clara and given them this day to cherish.
Chapter Fifteen
“I don’t think I’m ready for this,” Amy said. She stared into the bathroom mirror and smoothed down her maternity top. She felt enormous.
Parker came up behind Amy and put her arms around her. “I don’t think any of us are ready,” she said, furrowing her brow. “I wish Clara could wait so she could see the baby born. I know that’s selfish. That’s the problem with dying—you miss out on so many things.”
Amy nodded. There was nothing left to say. It was a universal truth. Even though Amy wasn’t religious, her spiritual sense knew that Clara wouldn’t know that she was missing out. She’d be on to her next stage, taking on a new role and experiencing things they wouldn’t be a part of either. It was the transition of souls that Amy believed in. She shut her eyes tight. “I don’t want to cry but I know I’m going to. I know her send-off party is supposed to be joyous, but I can’t bear losing her.”
“Send-off, that’s a good one. It’s like she’s going on a cruise.”
“Only without Mabel,” Amy said, glumly.
Parker turned her around so that they were facing each other. “Saying goodbye is always the hardest thing, but Clara will be out of pain soon. I think she’s very brave for taking control of her life in this way. I’m not certain I could do it.”
“She’s the bravest woman I’ve ever met.”
“So we have to be brave too,” Parker said. She kissed Amy’s forehead and then her tummy.
“This is one well-loved baby,” Amy said.
“Yes, she is. Now, let’s go show Clara and Mabel some of that big, big love we all possess.”
Rascal sat in the small back seat of the Porsche, his tongue lolling, his nose busy smelling everything. He licked Amy’s ear. She stroked his head. He would be a great comfort at the party. She was glad they’d decided to bring him. She needed him and so would the others. As they drove to town, Amy thought about her mother’s death. She’d felt bad for praying that her mother wouldn’t suffer too long in that strange place where memory yanked her in one direction and then just as quickly in another. Amy had wanted an end to her mother’s suffering. It seemed merciful.
Parker reached over and took her hand. “I won’t say it’ll be fun, but we can try,” she said, as they waited at a stoplight.
“There’s supposed to be a lot of people coming. I don’t know if between Millie and Bernie’s house and Clara and Mabel’s there will be room enough,” Amy said.
“I wouldn’t worry about that. Those ladies have been putting on potlucks since the dawn of time. And the VFW and the Unitarian church donated tables and chairs. We’ll be all right.” The light changed and they headed across town toward the party.
Amy thought about the next step, when Clara lay in the bed she shared with Mabel. Susan had researched the correct amount of pain medication with the correct amount of alcohol that would allow Clara to fall asleep, surrounded by her friends and Mabel, and pass on peacefully. Susan was coming to the party but couldn’t stay during the “passing on” ceremony because she’d lose her license and potentially do jail time like Dr. Kevorkian. Dr Webster, Clara’s treating physician, had prescribed the phenobarbital which Clara had requested to keep her relaxed and to help her sleep. If Dr. Webster knew what Clara had planned, she didn’t let on.
Susan did the math but wouldn’t be administering the lethal dose. Chief Bob Ed, although denying any knowledge of what was planned, would not be investigating the death and no autopsy was to be done. For all practical purposes, Clara would have a party to say goodbye, and then tired from the party, would fall into a deep sleep from which she would not awaken. Amy hoped all this planning worked out. She knew it was hard on Susan, but she’d come around with Tess’s help. She knew it was for the best. It was her Hippocratic oath that gave her pause. But she was doing no harm by letting an old woman determine her end of life.
Parker had to park the car two blocks away because the street was already filled with cars. Amy clipped on Rascal’s leash and they got out of the car. Rascal immediately peed on the nearest tree. Parker took Amy’s hand, the one not holding the leash. “You know, there are multiple groups who support assisted suicide. It’s a movement. They call it dying with dignity. The new view, which eschews religious doctrine, sees it as people having complete sovereignty over their own bodies as it pertains to the terminally ill.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“It made me feel better.”
“Because?” Amy asked, waddling ahead because
Rascal was pulling the leash.
“It’s selfish to want her to stay. We want Clara to live in pain, getting worse every day because we can’t bear the pain of losing her?”
Amy thought on this. Parker, who’d most likely researched the whole thing on the Internet, was right. When Amy was a child, they’d had a cocker spaniel named Cindy—the sweetest dog ever and they’d loved her dearly. She gotten old and sick, lost control of her bowels, limped around, still loving as ever, but they all knew she needed to be put down. Finally, her father took her to the vet, sat with her head in his lap and let her pass away peacefully. He hadn’t wanted her mother keening and upsetting poor Cindy as she lay dying. Amy hadn’t been allowed to go to the vet. She had kissed and hugged Cindy before her father took her away.
Her mother had come home from shopping earlier than expected. Amy had to tell her where her father was. Mary snatched Amy by her arm and drove to the vet, but Cindy was already gone. When her mother saw her father filling out the paperwork, she walked up him and slapped him. The entire waiting room grew quiet, even the animals. Her mother fell into a sobbing pile on the floor. Amy never forgave her for making a scene. Amy had wanted to remember Cindy as she was when Amy kissed and hugged her goodbye, instead she had the memory of her mother and father in the waiting room. This was what Clara was circumventing by dying with dignity at her own behest.
“I understand.”
“Good, now let’s go give Clara a good send-off,” Parker said.
***
In the backyard, there were tables of people playing Scrabble. Millie waved them over to the table where she was playing with Bernie, Clara, and Edna. “What’s all this?” Amy said.
“I’ve always loved Scrabble. Never got to play it much since we started playing Bingo, but today I’ve decided I want to play it,” Clara said. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes shone. She looked too good to be dying today, but Amy kept that to herself.
Millie smiled. “You would not believe how many Scrabble games people had hidden away in their closets. I think we may have reignited interest in the game.”
Cross Your Heart (True Heart Series Book 4) Page 18
