by Ali Parker
“Of course, honey,” Mom cheerfully responded, no doubt thrilled not to be considered an old person.
A chair scraped, and Raven took the seat right next to me. “This place is so big.”
I kept my eyes downcast, unable to lift them.
“Old too,” Mom answered. “It was built around the turn of the century.”
“Excuse me,” I blabbered, jumping up from my seat. “I need to use the powder room, the, uh, the restroom.”
“Powder room?” Raven laughed.
I didn’t answer. My butt was gone, my feet weaving a path across the floor and to the hallway running along the back of the ballroom.
I pushed the swinging door open and collapsed onto the sofa pressed alongside the wall. Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the cushions and tried to gather my thoughts. It was no use. They ran all over the place, little gremlins set free to enact destruction.
At the sound of the door opening, I looked over.
“Huh,” Raven said, hand on hip as she surveyed the little room connecting the door to the bathroom area. “I guess this does have a powder room. Fancy.”
I straightened up, afraid my freak-out showed on my face. “I like your dress.”
She glanced down at the pink, knee-length dress. “Thanks. It’s okay. Dad wanted me to wear it. Are you—?”
“I’m fine,” I responded, before realizing I probably answered too quickly.
“You don’t look it.” She plopped down on the couch next to me. “God, this place is so boring. Dad was all like, ‘There’s going to be puffed shrimp,’ like that’s all it takes to get me to go somewhere.”
My laugh hurt. I came into the bathroom to escape thoughts of Andrew.
Raven’s eyes narrowed. “He’s acting weird too,” she suspiciously said.
“He’s probably nervous.” I stood up and went to the mirror on the wall, getting away from her under the ruse of touching up my makeup, but then realized I’d left my purse at the table.
“Your dad knows him? Why are they hosting together?”
I stayed at the mirror, looking down at the counter. “Um, I guess they’ve known each other for years or something.”
“Huh. That’s weird.”
“Yeah.” Using the last bit of my energy to smile, I turned back to Raven. “You’re going to miss the speech. Don’t you want to get back out there?”
She didn’t budge. “Do your parents know about you and my dad?”
“Um.”
“Is that why you’re both acting all freaked out?”
Sighing, I threw in the towel. Trying to keep anything from Raven would be pointless. I already knew she’d dig and dig until she uncovered the truth. “My parents don’t know your dad and I know each other. They wouldn’t take it well.”
Her nose wrinkled. “Why?”
“Because.” I hesitated. Should I really be having this conversation with a seventeen-year-old?
“You’re too young for him,” she finished for me.
My shoulders fell. “Is that what you think?”
“No,” she quickly responded. “Jeez. But is that what your parents think?”
I twisted my golden bracelet around and around. I’d been so excited getting dressed for Andrew, thinking this night would only be one of fun and passion. “Yes. They would. They believe I should only be spending my time with people my age.”
“Well, that’s stupid.” Raven tossed her hair and crossed her legs, getting comfortable. Muffled applause crept under the bathroom door. It looked like we were missing the speech after all.
“I know,” I agreed. “But that’s their opinion.”
“So what?” she laughed. Catching sight of my face, her smile fell. “Oh my god. Do you seriously care what they think?”
I couldn’t help but bristle at that. Raven was smart and strong, but I had eleven years on her. I was her counselor. She was a teen struggling with her own issues. The advice-giving should have been a one-way street.
“It’s complicated,” I answered, harsher than I meant to.
She made a face. “Really, Lanie? Is it?”
The use of my first name irked me, probably because there might not have been a reason for us to get that close anymore. After the way Andrew ignored me, things weren’t looking good. There was a chance I might never see him or Raven outside of school again.
“My parents are very particular people,” I defended.
“Who cares? It’s your life. Your relationship.” Her eyebrows angrily pushed together. “And what about my dad? He’s a part of this too.”
“We haven’t had a chance to talk about it.”
“You should be honest. Isn’t that the advice that a counselor is always giving?”
Damn, she knew how to hit home. For an instant, I was given an insight into how bad her fights with Andrew must have been for him.
“Honesty is good in theory, Raven,” I slowly said. “But there’s a time and a—”
She was gone before I finished, letting the door bang shut behind her.
I closed my eyes, my fingers digging into my palms. As much as I wanted to direct my anger at Raven, I knew this wasn’t about her. I was frustrated over the whole situation. Confused. Hurt by Andrew’s reaction.
Truthfully, I could have misread that last part. Maybe he was feeling as worried as I was and needed some time to talk it over with me before making the next move.
Remembering that he asked me to come over later that night, I threw my shoulders back and headed into the ballroom. Things might have been crazy right then, but Andrew and I would figure it all out. Together.
Most of the guests still milled around, the dinner not fully underway yet. I searched the room for Andrew as I made my way back to the table, not exactly sure what I would say if our paths did cross.
Halfway across the room, I nearly walked right into him.
“Oh!” I shrieked.
His full lips parted. “Hi,” he breathed.
I swallowed hard. “Hi.”
Andrew blinked fast. “Listen ...”
“Dad.” Like she had a talent for doing, Raven appeared out of nowhere. This time she sidled right up to Andrew’s elbow. “I’m not feeling good. I threw up in the bathroom.”
My jaw dropped. I stared at Raven, unable to believe the lie—one which was undoubtedly not only meant to get her home early but meant to hurt me as well. She completely ignored me, acting like I wasn’t there and putting all her attention on her father.
Andrew took the bait, though. “You did?”
“Yeah.” She pressed her hand to her stomach and made a pathetic face.
Andrew’s gaze jumped between her and me. “Sorry,” he told me. “It looks like we have to go.”
“You finished your hosting duties?” I croaked.
“Yeah,” he slowly answered. Our gazes lingered on each other, and there was so much going on in his eyes, I wanted to cry.
“Dad,” Raven moaned. “I think I’m going to throw up again.”
“Okay.” He touched her shoulder. “Let’s go.” Another apologetic look got tossed my way, making me feel like a dog begging for the scraps that were Andrew’s attention.
“I’m sorry,” he told me again as he walked off.
I jerked my head in agreement, and they were gone, leaving me surrounded by strangers.
With heavy limbs, I took my seat next to Mom.
“Where did you go?” she pleasantly asked.
“I was talking to people.”
Her diamond bracelet caught the light as she took a drink of champagne. “That’s nice.”
The appearance of some woman who kissed Mom on the cheek and started a conversation right away saved me from having to explain any further. Reunited with my clutch, I pulled my phone out and discreetly typed a text under the table.
That was crazy. I’m sorry. I’m going to try to get out of here within the hour. Is that a good time for me to come over?
I sent the text to Andrew, relieved that we’d
be alone soon. All I needed was his touch, the feel of his firm chest, and I’d be all right. We’d figure this out together.
The woman left, and Mom turned back to me. “Did you see your father’s speech? He was so regal up there.”
“He always is,” I pleasantly answered, dodging the question.
“And Raven seems like a nice girl. That’s so funny that she goes to your school. It’s such a small world.”
“Mm-hmm.”
Just keep nodding and smiling, I reminded myself.
“You know, Lanie, it’s wonderful you came tonight. And what’s more, you put your father before a date. I’m very proud of you. Of course, if the relationship with this man was truly going somewhere, that would be a different matter.”I tuned out as she prattled on. I’d heard this speech before. There wasn’t going to be anything new in it.
When she became engaged in a conversation with the waiter, I snuck another peek at my phone. The sight of a text from Andrew made my heart jump. Pulse pounding away, I quickly unlocked the phone.
Raven is still not feeling well, so tonight is not good. I’m sorry. Let’s talk tomorrow.
Nausea rose in my chest—real nausea, not the fake kind like Raven had.
“She’s lying!” I wanted to write back. “She hates me for not saying anything!”
Fingers shaking, I put the phone away. Andrew was not the only one to blame here. We were both silent on the matter.
But, just as I’d tried to explain to Raven, didn’t we have a right to be that?
Feeling more awful than I had all night, I stayed planted in my seat, lost in my private, sad world while all the joy I couldn’t feel continued on around me.
Chapter 24
Andrew
Fingers laced behind my head, I stared at the ceiling above my bed, thoughts running a thousand miles per hour.
What were the chances of Bob being Lanie’s father? How come he never corrected me and told me she went by a nickname and not by Elizabeth? Was this moral? Was this a train wreck waiting to happen?
Bob had been my closest friend for years. I couldn’t go behind his back and date his daughter. Right?
Sighing, I turned to look at the pillow next to me. Every morning I woke up, the bed seemed larger, too spacious for one person. I’d thought Lanie would be sharing the mattress with me the night before, warming not only a bed but a spot in my life that had been vacant for far too long.
Still, my body ached for her. It didn’t understand why my damn head hadn’t allowed her to come over.
It’s too complicated, I reminded myself as I hauled my ass up. With what happened at the fundraiser and Raven not feeling well, there was too much going on. As badly as I needed Lanie in my arms, I also needed to take a step back and process things.
Despite spending half the night awake tossing and turning, I still hadn’t figured shit out. As it turns out, thinking can be highly overrated.
Being as quiet as I could, I crept down the hallway toward Raven’s room. There were a few more hours to go before Karen arrived for work, Sunday being her half day, and I wanted to make sure Raven had everything she needed.
“Raven?” I quietly asked with a knock on her door.
No answer. Slowly turning the knob, I peeked in. She lay on her side, asleep and breathing evenly. On the bed next to her were her headphones and a book.
So she’d fallen asleep reading and listening to music—something she’d liked to do since I first allowed her to listen to music in bed.
In addition to the teenage paraphernalia littering the sheets, Raven looked calm and at peace. Stepping into the room, I felt her forehead and noted the perfect temperature.
It seemed Raven was not sick at all. Not anymore, that was.
Had she been lying to me the night before? I’d had to get on the stage too soon. If she and Lanie had a conversation, I didn’t have a guess as to what they’d talked about. She’d been silent the whole way home, leaning with her face pressed against the window. I’d chalked that up to her not feeling well, but maybe I was wrong.
It could be Raven knew more than she was revealing.
Discomfort formed a tight ball in my chest. Raven had been doing so well, not acting out at all.
Feigning sickness was an old trick, one she used to employ when she wanted to get out of something.
Checking my sigh, I slipped back out of the room and retrieved my phone from the charger next to my bed. I wanted to find a text from Lanie but wasn’t surprised it didn’t exist. I’d blown her off the night before. There were excuses, but none of them good enough.
Cradling the phone in the palm of my hand, I stared at its screen. It was still early yet, but there was a chance Lanie would be up. My muscles yearned to get into the pool and swim, and my fingers itched to get into the office and work, but my heart ached to hear Lanie’s silky voice.
Taking the phone downstairs, I sequestered myself off in the kitchen, the furthest room from Raven’s, before taking a seat and making the call.
“Hey,” Lanie answered, sounding surprised.
“Hi.” Just hearing her speak had me instantly relaxing. I leaned back into the kitchen chair and took the first clean breath of the morning. “This isn’t too early, is it?”
“No. I, uh, I’ve been awake for a while now. I didn’t sleep too well.”
“Same here.” I rubbed my tired eyes, feeling exhausted just talking about it.
“So.” Uncertainty dripped from the one little word.
“That was wild last night,” I said.
Lanie sighed. “How could we not know that you know my dad?”
“I more than know him,” I quietly answered. “We’ve been pretty close friends for years.”
A long silence followed.
“He doesn’t make a lot of time to let me in on his life,” Lanie quietly said.
The comment was a puzzling one, and I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised about you and him,” she continued. “Hell, you might know him better than I do.”
There was a bitterness in her voice I’d never heard before. Like a bolt of lightning, it all suddenly made sense. This was why Lanie understood mine and Raven’s dilemma so well. I knew I was a workaholic, but Bob was just as bad. Maybe worse.
No doubt Lanie had spent a lot of her life feeling the same way Raven recently had. Ignored. Neglected.
“Lanie,” I gasped. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
I struggled to find the right words. I didn’t want to pry into their relationship, but I was willing to bet money that Bob and Lanie didn’t see each other on a regular basis.
“I could have connected the dots,” I settled for saying instead.
“No, you couldn’t have. Dad still calls me Elizabeth sometimes, so it makes sense he’d let other people do the same.”
I nodded, though she couldn’t see me, and I also knew it was still not a proper excuse.
“Does he,” I cleared my throat. “Does he know about us?”
“No. I haven’t told my parents anything.”
“Okay.” Relief rushed through me, quickly followed by guilt. I shouldn’t have been worried about what Bob would say, but I was.
And it was more than that. This whole relationship, one that previously belonged to just me and Lanie, had suddenly become about everyone else as well. Bob. Raven.
“I’m not so sure Raven is sick,” I found myself saying.
“I know she didn’t throw up.”
“Really?” That made me sit up straighter. “How?”
“Because I was in the bathroom with her the whole time she was in there. I think she’s mad at me for not just telling my dad about us.”
“Why would she be mad?” I asked, even though I could probably answer that myself.
“I guess it seems to her like we’re sneaking around. Or maybe like I don’t respect you because I haven’t said anything.”
“I know you respect
me. Raven doesn’t get it. She’s seventeen.”
“Yep. But I didn’t point that out.”
“Good. You might have gotten your head bitten off.” I chuckled, but it didn’t feel good like laughter was supposed to.
Lanie’s pitiful sigh made my heart hurt. “What now? What are we going to do? Do we tell him?”
I bit the inside of my cheek, wishing I had the answers we both needed. “I get why Raven would be upset to think we’re sneaking around. I don’t want to feel like it’s that way.”
“We weren’t,” she said in a small voice.
“Yes, but if we continue to see each other without telling your parents, it will be sneaking around.”
More silence filled the conversation, and I wished I could take back the “but” in my statement. It made the whole situation sound too precarious, like I had no faith in the two of us at all.
“You don’t want to tell them, do you?”
“My dad will be so angry,” she instantly said. “You must know that. You’re, like, his best friend, right?”
It was supposed to be a joke, but it didn’t land its mark.
“I can’t lie to him, Lanie,” I insisted.
“What is he going to say when you tell him? Do you honestly think it’ll go well?”
I chewed that over. Bob was a strong-willed man. An opinionated one. A pretty traditional one, as well. And protective. Even if he didn’t spend enough time with his family, I knew from the way he’d spoken in the past that he cared deeply for them.
I wouldn’t put it past him to lay a punch on anyone who threatened anything of his. No matter who the recipient of the hit might be.
“I need some time, Andrew. To think this over.”
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and squeezing my eyes shut. My head was aching from a need for sleep, caffeine, and Lanie’s touch.
It was time to get serious about this situation, though.
“I’m a little worried about Raven,” I admitted. “If there’s too much discord ...”
“She might revert to old patterns.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” I opened my eyes and stared at the barren kitchen wall. “Maybe we should take a step back. Cool things for a bit. Just a week or so until you—until we—figure things out.”
