by Ali Parker
"Why?" I whispered as the door clicked shut. I got up as the familiar burn of rejection swelled inside of me. Was he expecting me to call? I would have believed that before spending the weekend with him, but now, I knew there was a different side of him.
He could play docile and sweet in front of the world, but he was an alpha male that liked to dominate women in the bedroom and lead them through a thick crowd of people. He was a protector, a strong man's man. Why did he act like he was anything but that?
I'd come up with a million theories over the last week to try and make myself feel better, but nothing worked. I was hurting, lost and ready to pack up my shit and leave for another life if things didn't turn around. Tanner’s rejection felt like a bee sting compared to the Mack truck that Matt had pulled out on me.
"Two years. Two goddamn years of pining after this man only to have him show up for a weekend, sleep with me and run away like I was the worst lay of his life." Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
My phone buzzed, and I turned on my heel and walked back to my desk and fury burned through my chest. I pressed the button on the dial and leaned over.
"What?"
"Miss Hall, your three o'clock appointment is here. I'm sorry to-"
"Send him in and don't interrupt until it's four." I released the button and wiped at my eyes, careful to not smear my makeup. Kent had hired a new director for the firm that would be overseeing the advisory practice and staying mostly in Seattle. I had to walk him through the final decisions we'd made recently on the advertising for the new service and make sure that he didn't want any changes.
It was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, though like most things in my life at that moment, I didn't have much of a choice.
I picked up the portfolio and moved to the small desk situated in the center of my office as the door opened and I glanced up.
"Hi there. I'm Erica Hall." I extended my hand, slapped a smile on my face and moved toward the guy.
His dark hair had bits of silver streaking through it and his smile was warm and a little naughty. Had I not been lost in my angst, I would have taken a minute to mentally drool over him. His suit fit him like a glove, and his handshake was firm.
"Nice to meet you, Miss Hall. I'm Mitch Roberson. Thanks for taking time to meet with me today." His slate grey eyes moved across my face slowly and he held on to my hand. "Kent forgot to mention that you were stunning as well as brilliant."
I chuckled and pulled my hand from his slowly. "That's probably because HR would have a heart attack if he did."
He laughed as well and followed me back to the table.
"Feel free to have a seat and I'll walk you through some of the designs we feel like we're just about settled on." I spread them out and glanced over to find him watching me instead of looking at the designs. "Of course, you know that if you want to give any comments, feel free. We're happy to adjust anything that you think might help the service to be more readily sold."
"I like your willingness to take constructive criticism. It's the mark of confidence." He turned his gaze toward the table and leaned over, pulling the various pictures up to study them. "I love this. The colors and the slant of the logo pulls me in. It screams power and professionalism to me."
"Excellent." I smiled and crossed my arms over my chest.
"I think these are great, Miss Hall."
"Erica, please." I picked up my favorite of the various designs and handed it to him. "I like this one best."
"Me too. Let's get it into design and wrap this project up. We'll have the IT guys change that part of the website and start working on imprints in case we need those for spin-off services."
"Perfect. I usually do that part, but if you know what you're doing, go for it."
"I'm an odd duck. I have a fully functional left brain and right brain." He smiled and slipped his hands into his slacks. "I don't have plans for dinner yet, but I'd love for you to join me. We're going to be working side by side on this project and a few others from what Kent's told me. I'd love to know a little more about you and share some of myself if you're up for it."
I hesitated only because it felt like Mitch might be interested in more than a friendly professional dinner. "Yeah, let me check my calendar."
"Of course." He picked up a few more of our designs and stared down at them as I turned and walked back to my desk.
Indecision raced through me, though I was being stupid. It wasn't like he was hitting on me or trying to take me home with him for the night. He was going to be one of the only other directors for M&B in the Seattle office.
"I'm free. What time do you want me to meet you?"
"I'll just swing by here at six if you want. The guys across the hall keep talking about a killer sushi place just down by the harbor. You like fish?"
"Love it." I pressed my hands to the top of my desk and smiled. "I'll see you then. Nice to meet you, Mitch."
"Pleasure is all mine." He lifted the designs in the air. "Mind if I take these with me?"
"Not at all. I have plenty of copies." I waited until he left to sit down in my chair and let out a soft sigh.
Why was I holding myself out for a guy that didn't even have the common courtesy to call me? I wasn't asking for much, but after sharing my body with him, and supporting him with his situation with Jonathan, the least I deserved was a fucking goodbye.
My phone buzzed and I picked it up. "What? It's not four yet, is it?"
"No, Miss Hall. I'm sorry, but Mr. Bryant's on hold for you."
"Fine. Put him through." I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose, half expecting to hear Kent's voice fill up the other end. To hear Damon instead was no big surprise though.
"Erica? This a good time?"
"Sure. I just met Mitch. He seems like a nice guy." I leaned back and crossed my free arm over my chest.
"Yeah. I think he's going to be good for the advisory practice we're setting up. The man has a resume that impressed my father. I'm thinking we're going to do well to have him on our side."
"Awesome. What can I do for you?" I forced myself to sit up a little and lose the attitude. Never before had I let anything affect my job, and it wasn't fair to do that to myself now.
Matt made his decision, whether he realized it or not.
"I wanted to see if we could have a conference call around five thirty today. Dad and I have been talking with Matt and I think we have him convinced to at least try out a twenty hour a week schedule. He might work remotely from his new place, but I'm not sure."
"His new place?" A small tendril of hope ran through me, but I quickly squashed it. He hadn't called in a week after spending the weekend at my house, living life as if we were meant to be together. He wasn't the type of man I needed in my life. I'd misjudged him. It was that simple.
"Yeah. I think he's going to come up there later this week and try to find a place."
"That means he's moving up here?" I let out a long breath through my nose and tried not to let my voice give away the hurt that I was struggling with.
"He's still being noncommittal, but yeah, I think he's going to keep his place here in Dallas and get one up there too. You know Matt."
"Yep. I do." I picked up a pencil from my desk and twirled it as I walked toward the floor to ceiling windows in my office.
"What's up with you? You sound... tense."
"Yeah, I have things going on in my life that I'm not exactly able to ignore today. Forgive me for having an off day. Shit happens." I pulled the phone from my ear and squeezed my eyes shut. I needed to feign illness and leave for the day. There was no way my toxic attitude was going to allow for anything remotely productive.
"Wow. I'm here for you, you know that. Talk to me and let's work this out. We've been friends a lot longer than we've been co-workers, Erica."
"There's nothing to talk about." Warm tears blurred my vision. "I'm good."
"Liar. I'm not getting off this phone until you spill."
"What can I do to help?"
"Nothing. I just need to take some time off soon and figure things out."
"Is this just about your mom?"
"Why do you ask?" I sniffled and wiped at my eyes.
"Because my brother has been moping around here for a week, ignoring most of us and acting like a ten-year-old boy lost in the woods."
"I don't care what Matt's doing." I reached for a Kleenex. "And if you expect me to try and talk him into coming up here, you're shit out of luck. Tell your father that too. Matt's a twenty-eight-year-old man. He doesn't need any of us pushing him to do anything. If he's not willing to make the decision to move forward with his life, none of us are going to change that."
"No truer words have been spoken." Damon cleared his throat. "Why are you upset with him? What happened?"
"You know how I feel about your brother, Damon. Or rather how I felt. I'm getting over it."
"Yeah, of course I do. You guys would be-"
"Don't. I'm not interested in hearing it. He came down to visit and we had a good time for the weekend, or at least I did. I haven't heard a fucking word from him in seven days. Not 'thanks for letting me crash at your place' or 'I really appreciate you helping me with my contract with Jonathan' or better yet, how about, 'thanks for the all-night fuck. I really needed that in my life'."
"Wow. He didn't say anything after you guys spent the weekend together? That's more something I would do than Matt."
"Exactly. And tell me something, and be fucking completely honest." I wiped my eyes and let out a shaky breath. Something about getting the hurt off my chest left me feeling a little better.
"Of course."
"Why would you do that to someone? Why would you lead them on and walk away without a word?"
"Because in my past life, I was a user. I would walk away because I never had any intention of being with you in the first place. You were just a warm body and pretty smile to spend the weekend with. But, Erica-"
"No. Fuck it. That's exactly what happened. You and Kent are so concerned that Matt isn't going to turn out like the two of you, but you're wrong. He's already everything you used to be." I dropped the call and walked out of my office. A stroll by the bay was the only thing I could think of that might keep me from quitting my job, packing my shit and driving until I ran out of gas. California was nice this time of year... and the men were hot. Seemed like a great combination to rid myself of the nagging desire to belong to a sexy bastard billionaire I knew.
"Yeah, you know... the good one in the bunch." I scoffed and pushed the door that led to the stairs. I wasn't sure of my next move, but I was ready to make one. And this one wouldn't include Matt Bryant.
Fuck him. Fuck all of them.
To be continued…
Chapter 21
Matt
There should have been peace, sitting outside on the patio of my dad's house, working on the sketch of Erica, but there was none to be found. Everything inside of me screamed for me to call her, but fear held me at bay. No, it locked me up, tied me down, forced me into a place of numbness. Where logically I could point to all of it being a bullshit scheme to keep myself from getting hurt, I hated it. Hated myself.
Erica belonged to me, and yet she would become someone else's if I let my fears over not being enough 'man' for her stop me from moving forward, and fast. She was my brother, Damon, in female form. Perfect. Smart and strong, educated and successful. She was everything anyone could want and beyond anything I expected to have, but I was fucking it up completely.
I reached down and brushed my thumb along the sketch, catching the side of her face and smearing the line a little to soften her.
"Much better," I whispered softly as the sun warmed my chilled skin. The weather in late October in Texas was always anybody's guess. We were lucky that year with the coolness having rushed in before the holiday season started.
My eyes moved slowly across the sketch, pausing when I reached the feminine curve of her breast, the steep swell of her hip, her long legs, her perfect ass. My body hardened and I glanced up, sucking in a tight breath.
Get up and save whatever you can with her.
I exhaled loudly, trying hard to keep myself from diving into one of my many fantasies where she was concerned. Not all of them have her naked and spread across a bed or laid prostrate on a table, but those were my favorite. They were more carnal and left my heart alone. The ones where she walked toward me in a white gown fitted just for her, or a little boy with blond hair and bright blue eyes bouncing around my feet hurt too much. It was almost as if the entire universe were trying to bring me to my knees.
"Matt?" Karen's voice sounded right behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder and gave my new stepmother a smile. "Hey there. Hope you don't mind me borrowing your patio."
"It's yours too. You know that." She walked out and sat down in the lawn chair beside me, stretching out her legs and closing her eyes. "I love this time of the year so much."
"Me too." I slipped my pencil back in the case and picked up my sketch pad. "I'm going to have to buy a large canvas for this thing, but I'm still not sure if I should work on it here or in Seattle."
"So you really did decide to go?" She glanced over and extended her hand. Her brown hair hit just above her shoulders, and her eyes were filled with a kindness that settled me. I could see why my father married her. She would be capable of unwinding the hurt that he suffered losing my mother to cancer. He'd worshiped her when my brother, Damon, and I were younger.
He was the reason I was scared to move forward with Erica. His relationship with my mother was a lie, and left me questioning love altogether. There was nothing my mother didn't have, and yet she chose to sneak around behind my father's back in search of something else, but what? And would a woman like Erica love me to my face and spend her afternoons seeking true passion from another man?
No. I couldn't allow that. And Erica wasn't that kind of woman, but my mother didn’t start out that way either. I dismissed the thought, forcing myself to stay in the present where it felt safe.
"To Seattle?" I handed her the tablet and leaned back. "Yeah. I'm going to keep my apartment here, but I'll get one there too until I assess what's best for me."
"And what about working for your father? Have you figured that out yet?"
I glanced over at her and smirked. "Did he put you up to this?"
She laughed. "No, but I would have done it if he had. He loves you. He talks about you all the time."
"I know he does." I ran my hand over my chest and turned my face toward the sun. "I love him too. I want to make him proud, but I'm not sure what that looks like anymore. Is it weird at twenty-eight to still want to impress your father?"
"No, not at all." She turned to face me and handed me the pad back. "I love this, Matt. It's Erica, isn't it?"
"Yeah." I glanced down at it and closed the book. "She's exquisite."
"And in love with you." Karen's tone softened a little as if she knew when best to tread lightly.
"I'm in love with her too." I leaned over to put the pad and my pencils on the table beside me. "But love is a scary thing."
"Don't I know?" She wrapped her arms around herself, and I started to offer her a blanket, but she spoke up again. "I thought Bethany's father and I had a good thing going, but I was so wrong. I loved him with all of my heart, and he left us in the middle of the night. Who does that? He had men coming after him, Matt. Men who wanted money or blood. And he left me and Beth there to deal with them."
"Shit." I got up and moved over to her chair, making her scoot over as I wrapped my arms around her. "You're with us now. I can't imagine how horrible that must have been, but you're so insanely strong to make it through that, and now look at the blessin
gs you have."
She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "I keep thinking I'll wake up one day and be able to forgive him, you know?"
"Yeah. That's my mom." I pressed my cheek to the side of her head and closed my eyes.
"What about your mom?"
"She cheated on Dad a lot. I think him and Damon talked about it a few days ago." I squeezed her and got up, almost busting my ass in the process.
"Why do people do things like that?" She glanced up at me, and it was almost comforting to see that she thought of me as a man. So many days I still felt like a wayward child, trying to navigate through life - alone.
"No clue. Selfish?" I ran my fingers through my hair and let my eyes run across the burnt oranges and dark reds of the trees littering leaves all over my dad's backyard.
"Agreed." She sat up and pulled her knees towards her, wrapping her arms around them. "I'm glad Damon and Bethany worked everything out."
"Me too." I slipped my hands into my pockets. "I'm looking forward to the wedding. I'm just not sure if I'm expected to be the best man or the bridesmaid."
She laughed and shook her head. "Not sure your father would agree to you wearing one of those slinky blue dresses that Bethany is looking at."
"I can rock slinky. Hello." I lifted my eyebrow as she laughed again.
"I have no doubt." Her eyes moved toward the table beside me. "That picture is by far the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Has Erica seen it?"
I glanced down at it before gathering my things. "Um... no. I went up there and had a great weekend with her and then tucked tail and ran."
"Then go back and show her."
I turned my attention back to my stepmother. "I'm not sure she's going to want to see me."
"Maybe not right now, but she's definitely going to want to see the way you see her." She smiled. "That picture is filled with passion, strength and beauty."
"Good. That's exactly how I see her." I glanced toward the sky, lifting my chin and breathing in deeply. "I don't know why I'm being so stupid about all of this."
