She blinked at that and murmured, “Oh, my.” No wonder he hadn’t been coming around lately. She could just imagine how uncomfortable that had made him. It was nice to know, though, that she had Timmy very much in her corner. Even though their relationship seemed on solid enough footing, she’d had her doubts ever since that outburst of his. With kids, you never quite knew what was lurking beneath the surface of their outward appearances.
“Oh my, indeed!” Slade said dryly. “He saw us kissing, assumed that had something to do with wanting sex and was pretty sure that ought to lead to marriage. He’s developed an interesting set of moral values at an early age, especially since he doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about.”
Dani resisted the urge to chuckle. Slade didn’t seem to see the humor in it. “Definitely some leaps in logic,” she conceded, “but I like the way he thinks.”
When Slade started to respond, Dani touched a finger to his mouth to silence him.
“Hush,” she said. “I told you before that I’m not in a rush for your decision. Take all the time you want. I know you’re not convinced yet that marrying me is a great idea.”
“I am about one part,” he muttered, though he didn’t look one bit happy about it.
“Which part would that be?”
Instead of answering, he unexpectedly hauled her into his arms and crushed her mouth beneath his.
Maybe absence did make the heart grow fonder, after all, she concluded, giving herself up to the desperation in that kiss. She could feel the barely leashed desire slamming through him, even as a matching need rocketed through her. He was hard, hungry and urgent as his lips plundered hers. She found that far more telling than all the denials he might have uttered about his feelings for her.
“Damn,” he murmured eventually, still holding her against him and looking more bemused and upset than ever. “You must have bewitched me or something.”
Dani felt a smile tugging at her lips. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I’m extraordinarily tempted to do something I vowed to myself I wouldn’t do again.”
“Which is?”
“Make love to you.”
Puzzled by the admission, she stared into his eyes. “Why would you have vowed never to make love to me again?”
“Because sooner or later, you’re bound to get hurt.”
“Why? I’m a grown-up. I know what I’m getting into here.”
“Do you?” For a moment he avoided her gaze. When he finally looked into her eyes again, his expression was bleak. “It can’t be any more than an affair, Dani,” he said. “And I know how badly you want marriage. Hell, you deserve marriage. Nobody deserves it more.”
Her heart seemed to go perfectly still. Panic made her almost breathless. “Are you ruling out that possibility forever? Is this your final answer?”
His expression filled with sorrow, Slade nodded. “I won’t marry again, Dani. I’m no good at it.”
Astonished by his adamance even though he’d hinted at it before, Dani pushed aside her own fears and demanded, “Where on earth did you ever get a ridiculous idea like that?”
“I was married before, remember? It wasn’t exactly the most positive experience of my life,” he said bitterly.
“Tell me about it,” she pleaded. “Don’t I at least deserve to know about the one thing that seems to be standing between us?”
“You do, but I can’t talk about it. If I’d understood what I was doing wrong with Amanda, I would have changed, or at least I like to think I would have. Now it’s over and done with. We all paid a very high price for my first mistake,” he said fiercely. “I can’t risk a second one.”
“What does that mean?”
“Bottom line? It means I’m sorry. It means I need to get out of here before I do something we’ll both regret.”
Casting one last regretful look in her direction, he slammed open the screen door and walked outside. Dani followed him, fighting tears and a terrible sense of desolation.
When he was halfway to his car, she called out.
He paused, but didn’t look back.
“I could never regret anything that happened between us,” she said. “Never.”
She was almost certain she saw a shudder sweep over him at her words, but he climbed into his car and drove off anyway, leaving her feeling more alone than she ever had in her life.
Chapter Twelve
Naturally, since he’d declared to Dani that she was totally off-limits, he couldn’t stop thinking of how desperately he wanted her. Perhaps she had known then what he had not…that he would never be able to resist her for long.
Two interminable weeks passed while he tried to stick to his promise to himself to avoid her. He was reduced to pleading with his sons to fill him in on what she was doing, how she looked, whether she’d asked about him. All in all, it was a very unsatisfying way to get information. He was frustrated as hell in more ways than one.
Maybe he was being ridiculous. Maybe she really knew what she was saying when she told him that she didn’t expect marriage until and unless he wanted it. Maybe she could live with an affair, at least for the foreseeable future.
He tried very hard to convince himself that she was telling the truth, because believing her suited his purposes. His conscience, however, told a very different tale. And late at night he wondered if he wasn’t stubbornly clinging to the past to protect his ego. No risk, no damage. How pathetic was that?
One morning after the third week without so much as a glimpse of her, he told his conscience to take a hike. Dani Wilde had gotten under his skin and there seemed to be nothing he could do to change that. He decided he might as well take her at her word and play this whole relationship out to see where it led. Once in a while he even dared to admit that he was falling in love with her.
Still, they needed time to be together, time to get to know each other that didn’t involve two rambunctious, demanding little boys. Time to discover if she really wanted him…or just his sons. He needed to know for sure that he came first before taking a chance with his own feelings.
Accomplishing time alone required quite a bit of determination and ingenuity.
He’d made only a few friends since moving to town, and there were even fewer people likely to baby-sit the Watkins terrors, as they were not-so-affectionately known. Sara and Jake Dawson were among those who might be willing.
Slade eyed the phone doubtfully, weighed the implications of asking the couple to do him this favor, then sucked in a deep breath and dialed. At least Trent was still out of town and wouldn’t be drawing all sorts of conclusions from his request.
Sara answered. Slade wasn’t sure if she was the one he would have chosen to explain his dilemma to, but she said Jake was away from the house.
“I was wondering,” he began, then hesitated.
“Yes?”
“I know it would be a big imposition.”
“What would?” She chuckled at his reticence. “Come on, Slade, spit it out.”
“Could you and Jake keep an eye on the boys for me this evening?”
“Oh,” she said sweetly. “Isn’t Dani available?”
Her tone suggested that she knew perfectly well how he intended that Dani be occupied, but she was going to drag it out of him. In fact, she seemed to be getting a huge kick out of making him spell it out. Maybe this was the payback he deserved for putting her sister on hold for the past three weeks, while he wrestled with his conscience and his growing vulnerability to this amazing woman.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” he muttered.
“No, it’s not,” she said hurriedly. “Jake and I would be happy to watch the boys. You could bring them out here now and they could spend the rest of the day and the night.”
“That’s not necessary,” he protested. “A few hours would be plenty.”
“Not if you have in mind what I think you have in mind,” she retorted.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Just bring the boys out here now, Slade. They’ll be fine overnight.”
“Pirate, too?” he asked skeptically. “They won’t spend the night there without him. The blasted dog’s a nuisance.”
“We’d be happy to have him,” Sara assured him. “It’s a ranch. We love animals.”
“Thanks, Sara. I can’t tell you what this means to me.”
“Oh, I can imagine,” she said dryly. “But I’m doing it for Dani, not you.”
Slade ignored the implications of that remark. “We’ll be there in about an hour, if that’s okay with you.”
“See you then.”
“Oh, one last thing, Sara.”
“Yes?”
“You will let me be the one to tell Dani about my plans for tonight, won’t you?” he inquired dryly.
She laughed at that. “Sure, but you’d better get in touch with her real quick. I’m very bad at keeping secrets, especially secrets this juicy.”
“She’ll be my next call,” he promised.
Unfortunately, Dani wasn’t answering her phone. She’d probably gone out to make a delivery to the general store. Slade was far too anxious to set his plan into motion to wait around for her to get back.
“Kevin, Timmy, get your pj’s and toothbrushes. You’re going out to stay at Three-Stars.”
Both boys raced into the kitchen. “We are? How come?” Timmy asked.
“Because Sara and Jake invited you,” he explained, stretching the truth. “And I thought you’d have a great time.”
“Pirate, too?” Kevin asked as the dog stared up at Slade hopefully.
“Yes, Pirate, too.”
Timmy’s gaze narrowed suspiciously. “What about you? Where will you be?”
“I have a few things to take care of.”
“Like what?”
Slade tried to rein in his exasperation. “Timmy, don’t you want to go to the ranch?”
His son’s chin set stubbornly. “Not without you.”
“I do,” Kevin said. “Let Timmy stay here.”
“You’re both going. I have some things to do, and Sara and Jake volunteered to look after you.”
“How come we can’t stay with Dani?” Timmy asked, his expression mutinous.
“Because she’s busy.”
“Dani’s never too busy for us,” Timmy protested. “I’ll bet if I ask her, we can stay with her.” He started to reach for the phone.
“No,” Slade said more harshly than he’d intended. Timmy’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Please, son, just take my word for it. Dani cannot baby-sit you tonight.”
“I’m not a baby, anyway,” Timmy declared. “I’m almost eleven. I can stay by myself.”
“You cannot.”
“Then let me come with you.”
Slade was beginning to see every bit of progress the boys had made under Dani’s care slip away. Timmy was reverting to the same difficult child he’d been when they’d first arrived in Riverton. He recalled the conversation they’d had a few weeks earlier and concluded that perhaps Timmy was worried that if Slade left them alone, they would never see him again.
“Timmy, there is no reason to be scared. It’s only for one night,” he assured him, hunkering down and looking his son in the eyes. “I will see you first thing tomorrow morning. I promise.”
“I’m not scared,” Timmy insisted. “I just don’t want to go.”
Now Kevin’s chin started to wobble. “Does that mean we can’t go? I want to.” Huge tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love the ranch and the horses and everything.”
Slade wondered how any single parent in his position ever managed to date again. He gathered both boys close and rested his chin atop Kevin’s head.
“Guys, please, do this for me. It’s really, really important or I wouldn’t be asking.”
Apparently well aware that the matter rested in his big brother’s hands, Kevin turned his tear-streaked face to Timmy. “Please. Pirate and I will be with you every second. Nothing bad will happen.”
Timmy, though, clearly understood what Kevin did not, that bad things did happen all the time and that they often weren’t within anyone’s control. He shuddered, but then his expression turned stoic.
“Okay, do what you want,” he muttered. “You will anyway.”
Slade hugged him, grateful even for such grudging agreement. “Thank you.”
He just prayed that he wasn’t being totally selfish and giving Sara and Jake more trouble than the two of them could handle. Of course, Sara was a Wilde. She could probably handle an invading army without batting an eye.
* * *
It was almost 11:00 a.m. and there was no sign of Timmy and Kevin. Dani had gotten no answer when she’d tried to call Slade’s house, either. What on earth had happened to them? They were usually here by eight, nine at the latest on those days when Slade got to working on the computer and forgot all about waking them.
She went over and over everything that had happened recently. Even though Slade had declared that he would not marry her or continue an affair with her, the boys had continued to show up at the house like clockwork. Only Slade had kept out of sight. It had been three weeks, one day and sixteen hours since she’d last set eyes on him.
Now the boys were missing, too. Was Slade worried that they were becoming too dependent on her? Had Timmy been asking about marriage again? Was Slade the kind of man who’d simply pack up his two kids and bolt because of the pressure she had put on him? She simply couldn’t believe that of him. Besides, after his last and supposedly final declaration, she had forced herself to let the matter of marriage drop.
When the phone rang, she snatched it up on the first ring. “Yes?”
“My, my, you sound anxious,” Ashley observed.
“Oh, it’s you.”
“Don’t sound so thrilled. I thought you’d be in a better mood, all things considered.”
“What things?”
Ashley fell silent.
“Ashley, what things?” Dani demanded.
“Never mind. I shouldn’t have called. Bye.”
She hung up before Dani could ask another single thing. She dialed her sister at home, but either Ashley had called from somewhere else or she wasn’t about to pick up and answer questions.
Thoroughly unsettled, Dani called Sara, not really expecting to find her at home, either. She was usually off rounding up cows or something. To her surprise, though, Sara answered.
“Hi, what’s up?” Sara said cheerfully.
“You tell me.”
“What?”
“Oh, never mind,” she said. Clearly Sara was going to be just as tight-lipped as Ashley.
“Dani, is everything okay?”
“Slade hasn’t been by with the boys,” she finally admitted. “He’s not at home, either.”
“I see.” Sara drew in a deep breath. “Actually, the boys are here,” she confessed, sounding ever so slightly guilty.
Dani was shocked. “At the ranch? Why?”
“They came for a visit, that’s all.”
“Sara, what is it you’re not telling me?”
“Whoops, gotta run. Jake’s calling. We’re taking the boys on a picnic.”
“Sara Wilde Dawson, don’t you dare hang up on me.”
“Bye-bye,” her sister said, and then defied her by hanging up in her ear.
She glanced up from the phone to see Slade standing at the kitchen door. Somehow she knew that he was at the center of this sudden conspiracy of silence. Though she had to admit she was ridiculously glad to see him, her irritation with all the secrecy was stronger. She grabbed up a cast-iron skillet and waved it at him.
“Would you mind telling me what the hell is going on?” she demanded.
Slade grinned. “Uh-oh, somebody’s got their drawers in a knot.”
“Don’t you patronize me, you rat. Why are the boys at Three-Stars? Why aren’t they right here with me? And what do Sara and Ashley know that I don�
�t?”
He held up his fingers and ticked off his answers. “One, I took them to Three-Stars. Two, because I want them there. And, three, they know that I have plans for you.”
She stared at him. “Plans?”
He nodded. “Interested?”
“That depends.”
“On?”
“Exactly what you have in mind.” Though her annoyance was rapidly fading, it wasn’t quite gone yet. He couldn’t just come waltzing in here as if the past three weeks of separation had never occurred. He was going to pay for the misery he’d put her through.
She gave him a haughty look. “Why was I the last one to find out anything about these plans of yours?”
“Because you weren’t here when I called earlier,” he responded reasonably. “Where were you?”
“I took some things over to the store. I do have an answering machine, though. You could have left a message.”
“And spoil the surprise?”
“Didn’t you realize I’d worry?”
He had the grace to look a little guilty at that. “I suppose I should have thought of that. I was just anxious to take the boys to the ranch before Sara changed her mind about keeping them.” He tried that winning smile on her again. “I got here as fast as I could.”
Despite her exasperation, she was melting fast, no doubt about it. “Did you really?”
“I sped all the way. It was a wonder the sheriff didn’t pick me up and lock me away.”
“That fast, huh?”
He nodded and took a cautious step inside, one eye on the frying pan still in her hand. “Okay?” he asked. “Are you going to put that thing down or use it on my head?”
She set the skillet carefully on the stove, then tilted her head to study him. “You look awfully smug about something. What’s on your mind?”
“Sex,” he said.
He looked so darned serious that she had to smother a laugh. She was beginning to get the picture. No wonder he’d been racing around the countryside this morning. If she was reading his eagerness correctly, she found it rather touching. No, she corrected, it was actually downright thrilling. No need to let him know that, though. Clearly he’d thought things through and changed his mind about the two of them. She wondered why.
The Bridal Path: Danielle Page 14
