Devotion

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Devotion Page 8

by Alex Sinclair


  "Can I ask you something?" I say.

  "Yes, please. Anything." Katherine's eyes gaze at me as if they've been dipped in a vat of guilt.

  I could make her do whatever I want in this moment, but I have to focus on the plan. "What made you think the money was for gambling?"

  Katherine sighs while Ava stirs in the back of the car keen to have her day start. "The poker nights. I thought they could have sparked something. I saw it with Peter. He wasn't always a hopeless addict. But he lost his job and filled the void with gambling. It started off small and expanded from there. I guess I freaked out and feared the worst when I spotted that money. God, I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry."

  She sobs and leans toward me for support. I wrap my arms around her to stifle her pathetic display. "It's fine," I say as I pat her back and wonder how she can do this in front of her daughter. Ava must surrender more and more respect for her mother with every passing day.

  "Please forgive me. I can't lose you. I'm so sorry."

  I pretend to think about it, casting my eyes off to the side. "It's okay. I'll always be here for you until the end. You know that."

  Katherine pulls back from me with a smile as she wipes away her tears. "Thank you. You're too good to me. I don't deserve you in my life."

  "Hey, that's not true. Let's not allow this hiccup to destroy what we have," I say, doing my best not to crack as another lie spills from my lips. If Katherine gets any more pitiful than this, I'll puke.

  "Oh, I'm such a mess. Not the greatest start to the week."

  "No but think about it like this: you'll never forget this birthday."

  "No, never. For as long as I live."

  I smile at Katherine, pondering her potential end over in my head. I haven't reached that point yet with her and wonder what will happen if she pushes me too far. Until then, I won't be happy until she's rolling around on the ground out of her mind with crippling doubt controlling her every waking thought. All in good time.

  "I'd better get Ava moving," Katherine says.

  "Tell you what. Why don't I take her for you so you can have a coffee and warm up for the day ahead?"

  "Oh my god, thank you, Annette. That would be incredible. I appreciate it so much. You're such an amazing friend."

  I think about what I've done to Katherine since she returned from her honeymoon. I messed with the love notes. I spied on her and Corey at the restaurant while I paid off their waiter to screw up Katherine's order. I sent Corey a fake text from a burner phone, knowing Katherine would see the message. I tricked Corey into hiding money from his suspicious wife and watched from a distance as he hid it away in his garage. I pretended it hurt me when Katherine had ruined the birthday surprise I'd planned. Would she still call me a good friend after hearing these things and everything else I'd done to clutter her mind with doubt?

  "I'm serious. You're an amazing person, Annette."

  The smile on my face continues. "Yes, I am, aren't I?"

  26

  Katherine

  I'm so lucky to have Annette in my life. She came through for me this morning as she always does, helping to drive Ava and I to school even after I screwed up her birthday idea with Corey. I told her everything last night the second Corey gave me the silent treatment. I didn't want to, but I needed to get the guilt off my chest. It would come out by the time my birthday rolled by, so I had no other option but to confess.

  Annette was honest with me when I returned her money this morning and told her I wouldn't be celebrating. She relayed her disappointment having been excited to buy me something nice with Corey. She wasn't angry like him, though. He seemed to lose his usual laid-back attitude when faced with such a problem.

  I think Annette had the advantage of experiencing my past instead of being told about it. Corey came around long after Peter had left me, but Annette was there before, during, and after that train wreck of a relationship. Countless times she had wasted her breath convincing me to break things off with Peter only to watch me forgive the jerk and give him one more shot. The man could have committed murder in front of my eyes and gotten away with it.

  I sip my cooling coffee in the faculty lounge with some time to spare before my day begins. Because Annette offered to pick Ava and me up this morning, I had to be at school about forty minutes earlier than normal.

  "Good morning, Katherine," Susan says as she walks in with a purpose to her step.

  "Morning."

  "What brings you into the school so early on such a fine day?"

  "Oh, you know. My car's in the shop." It's the first lie that pops into my head.

  "That's good. I was starting to think my watch had broken." Susan places her belongings down and prepares herself a strong dark coffee while regarding my words.

  I doubt she believes me, and I don't care.

  "Did you get the email I sent you over the weekend?"

  I saw it come up on my cell, but ignored it. "Oh, sorry. I didn't see it. I'll be sure to have a read of it this—"

  "Never mind. I've dealt with the issue, but I would appreciate it if you endeavored to monitor your emails over the weekend. Important things happen even when you're off the school grounds."

  "I'm sorry," I say as I bury my head between my fingers and squeeze. It's the only way I can stop myself from screaming. I look up after a moment and realize Susan is still blabbing away with her back to me. What's her problem today? It's like she knows I'm having troubles at home and can't wait to rub salt into my open wounds.

  "And that's why we need to stay vigilant when it comes to communication around here."

  "Got it," I say, standing up in a hurry. My chair grinds backward over the scuffed laminate flooring. I grab my bag and walk away while Susan continues to ramble as if I'm still there. I swear she has it in for me.

  As I cross the schoolyard and rush to my classroom, an ocean breeze cuts through me. Corey's disappointed face flashes into my mind. I can't seem to get that moment out of my head when the trust between us broke. He had to understand why I needed to learn what the cash was for. Surely he realized it wasn't a good idea to hide money from me, given my history. I can only hope Annette would have warned him to be careful. If only I hadn't caught him hiding the cash. We wouldn't have had such a cold night together followed by a silent morning.

  When Annette offered to pick Ava and me up, it relieved me. Corey and I need some space apart. This way he gets to calm down and forget about my stupid actions while I try to work on my problems. I don't want to throw a bandage over something that will fester below the surface and make our relationship toxic. I can't go through a similar time like that in my life, especially now that I'm married.

  Plonking down into my chair, I place my head flat on my arms on the desk, letting my bag fall wherever it chooses to in the mess. The clutter is yet another problem I've allowed to grow out of control. It would take me hours to sort out the piles of printouts and resources strewn about my workstation.

  My cell buzzes in my handbag beside my head. Needing the distraction, I fish it out and unlock the screen. Right now would be a fantastic time to look at some shoes online or scroll through Instagram and stare in envy at all the beautiful women my age who seem to have their lives together.

  A text notification sits on my home screen, picking me up a little. It's probably Annette sending me some encouragement to get through the day. I set my notifications to be hidden on my lock screen, so I have to unlock my cell and open the text app to see who sent me the message. It's Corey.

  My eyes go wide, delivering a jolt of panic down my spine. Unsure why I'm reacting in such a way, my cell drops to the desk. I don't want to read what he has to say, yet I'm also dying to know.

  I take a breath and pick up my phone. "It's okay. At least he's talking to me again." I try to ignore the fact that I'm speaking out loud to myself when no one else is around, and I focus on my cell. I read Corey's text and immediately go back and absorb it again as if I'm missing something. Four words is all he has
sent me.

  We need to talk.

  27

  Annette

  Everything is falling into place. I have Corey and Katherine right where I want them. Katherine is so easy to manipulate. I only wish I'd done something sooner. Why did I wait so long? Deep down I knew what was coming. I guess I never wanted to believe it.

  Taking Katherine and her kid to work today was a smart idea. I convinced her that she and Corey needed some time apart, allowing me to get in between them and expand the growing rift I've created. I wonder if either of them will realize what is happening to their relationship. Have they worked out that each problem they've experienced came from my careful planning?

  "Morning," Barry says as he paces by me at the front of the office, late as always.

  I flash him a smile and reply with, "Morning. How was your weekend?"

  "Oh, the usual," he says while continuing through. "And you?"

  "Perfect," I say. "I got a lot achieved."

  "Glad to hear it." He pushes open the side door after swiping his keycard and rushes for his room.

  "Me too," I mutter.

  Things are going well. Not only is Katherine beginning to suffer, but I believe I have Corey questioning his decision to marry her. Soon I will break her while showing Corey what a terrible person his wife is. Divorce is the next step.

  I've known Katherine for too long now. We both grew up in this town and went to school together. Katherine left for a time to study and 'better herself' with college and travel while I stayed behind. I could never leave Battery Beach or my friends and family the way she so carelessly did. But that's Katherine. She only thinks about herself.

  When she returned, at first I was grateful to see her again and have her back in my life. I missed her. Little did I realize I was bending down to her the way I always did like in high school. Katherine was number one back then. All the boys wanted to date her. They'd get me to ask her out on their behalf like I was her secretary. In those days, I let myself be second to her. I even felt thankful for the opportunity. How pathetic.

  It's my fault she decided not to leave when she returned to Battery Beach. She was only meant to visit for a few weeks, but I let our old dynamic take hold and convinced her to move back to her hometown. I ended up helping her get a job at BBES by putting in a good word for her with Barry, giving her the means to stay. It was all a lowly administrative assistant like me could offer. Before I knew it, Katherine was offered a teacher position at the school, and I became her loyal sidekick again.

  My support got put to the test when Peter came onto the scene. Katherine thought he was so amazing despite his obvious faults. She never once listened to me when I tried to help her understand what kind of guy he was. If he'd never run away when Katherine fell pregnant, she'd still be with him.

  Years later, Corey Grayson arrived, looking for a job. His eyes met mine when he walked into the office. I'd never felt that spark with a man before when we exchanged a smile. He made a joke about the parking lot and got me giggling like a schoolgirl. We had an instant connection. I did all I could to convince Barry to hire him.

  Barry caved to my suggestion. He was a lazy principal. I even asked if I could give Corey the good news. At the end of Corey's first week, I encouraged the staff to go out for drinks to welcome him to the family. That night, it all happened. Everything fell into place.

  I got Corey alone and made sure he knew what I wanted. We kissed outside of the bar by the ocean. The waves crashed hard against the cliff stacks, emitting powerful blasts of energy. It was incredible. For once, I felt like things would work out for me. I had met the perfect man. The future was mine for the taking. But I failed to grab hold quick enough.

  Corey took me home that night. We made out on the porch of my house, letting one thing lead to another. But I didn't want to rush into it and ruin what should have been the greatest relationship of my life. Instead of inviting him in, I sent Corey on his way. I felt like an animal fighting its instincts, but it was the right thing to do. At least I thought so.

  I told Katherine all about Corey the next morning over coffee. She was both amazed and excited for me all at once.

  "So, when are you going to see him again?"

  "I don't know. We swapped numbers, but I'm too nervous to call him. I'll mess it up."

  "As if. Besides, he's probably desperate to call you but is trying to be cool and wait a few days."

  She sounded genuine that day. I thought she was happy for me. The conversation didn't shift toward her or her ex the way it usually did. For once, it was all about me.

  But things aren't always as they appear. Behind Katherine's eyes was a cunning plan I never saw coming. She could see that I had found a good guy, so she decided to take him from me. I know that now.

  Corey never called. He didn't come to visit me at the office either. A week went by. I tried to talk to him so many times when I spotted him walking by me in a rush to reach the faculty lounge. What had gone wrong? Back then I thought it was something I'd said or done during our time together. Should I have slept with him? Should I have given him what he wanted that night?

  I figured it out. It wasn't anything I did or didn't do. It was Katherine. She had swooped in and stolen him. She probably filled his head full of lies about me to force him to shift directions. It's the only explanation that makes sense. Why else would she have gone on a date with him only two weeks later behind my back? It wasn't the first time such a thing had happened.

  In high school, Katherine would always go after the boys I told her I liked, fully aware that I didn't possess the same confidence she had to talk to them. Months before she left town for college, she even made out with a guy she knew I'd had a crush on for several years, claiming it just happened one night at a party, that it didn't really mean anything. We both understood that it did. This time was no different.

  I'll never forget the day in the faculty lounge at work when Katherine first told me about Corey. It all started so innocently. She made me believe her story. "I've got something weird to tell you. And I hate to be the one to say it, but Corey asked me out."

  My heart died in that moment. Time slowed to a crawl as all the possibilities for a happy future I had pictured many times in my head came crashing down. "Are you serious?"

  "Yeah, sorry. I said no to him because you two kissed. Plus, I know how much you're into him."

  "Wait. How did this happen? I don't understand."

  "We've been chatting here and there in the faculty lounge. I guess I was trying to get him to talk about you. I didn't realize he was flirting with me. I certainly wasn't flirting with him, but he asked me out for a drink."

  I closed my eyes and tried to remember to breathe. I couldn't think straight. "Are you sure he asked you out?"

  She nodded at me with a slight frown. "I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

  "No, you were right to. There's no point in me wasting his time."

  "Hey, don't talk like that. Corey's an idiot if he thinks this is okay. He's the one who will miss out. Not you."

  I gave Katherine the best smile I could manage. It faded in a heartbeat. How did she think I was believing her? We both knew there was more to the truth than she was letting on.

  "Thank you, Kat, but it's hard for me to be mad at him. I should have told him how I feel. I shouldn't have let him go." I thought about that night on the porch in front of my house.

  "I'll talk to him and tell him he needs to take you out again."

  "No, don't bother. It's no use."

  "No, missy. You're not giving up this easily. I'll go have a chat with him at lunchtime."

  "Please don't," I begged. But Katherine was so determined. She had that look in her eye.

  "You'll see. I'll set him straight."

  "Okay, fine," I said, caving. She always knew how to pressure me. All I could do then was pray she actually had pure intentions for once.

  I almost thought there was something to hope for in that moment
. How pathetic it was to think so.

  28

  Katherine

  There's some time before school starts, so I ask Corey to meet with me in his classroom. There's no way he can send me a four-word message and think it won't drive me insane all day long. He agrees to my question with a quick reply, giving me about a ten-minute window to speak with him alone in his room.

  My legs pump hard as I rush across the grounds to Corey's end of the school. We are almost on opposite sides of the facility, making the trip that much more painful.

  I'm dying to know what he wants to discuss, given we won't have enough time to break out into a full-blown argument. Whatever the reason, I can't help the sinking feeling gurgling inside me. He'll probably come out and confess his regrets over marrying me. Then I'll be on my way back to class to mull the thought over. I know it.

  I spot Corey through his window, pacing the classroom. He doesn't wave or offer me a smile as I approach the entrance to his room. What's this all about? I don't know what to think as I feel his burning gaze.

  Corey opens the door and lets me in as if he never caught me sneaking around the garage. What's going on?

  "Take a seat," he says, patting one of the children's tables for me to use as a chair.

  I quickly park myself down with eager eyes and blurt the first thing that pops into my head. "This isn't about my birthday, is it? Because I'm not going to bother celebrating this year after what happened."

  Corey takes a quick breath. "It's not about that. I have some news I wanted you to hear from me before anyone else."

  "News?" The word seems to confuse me further. I don't know what I was expecting him to say.

  "Yes. I finally heard from the school board. They're going to promote me. Starting next week, I'll be a lead teacher."

 

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