‘I’m hardly Walter Lippmann, Ruth. I’m a very minor figure who writes very minor stuff.’
‘Listen to Miss Modesty.’
‘It’s the truth. And, believe me, I’m telling no one about what I did in Manhattan. I’ve had enough intrusiveness - courtesy of the FBI - to last me for the rest of the decade.’
So I maintained a very low profile. Following Dr Bolduck’s advice, I did nothing strenuous - limiting my exercise to walks in the Bowdoin Pines behind the campus, or to the college’s library (where I managed to wangle a Brunswick resident’s reader’s ticket), and to the shops that lined Maine Street. I found a grocer who delivered, and a newspaper shop which agreed to order the Sunday edition of the New York Times for me. I became a good customer of the town’s main book and record shop. I was soon on first-name basis with the librarians at Bowdoin, Mr Cole at the grocer’s, Thelma the chief cashier at Casco National Bank, and Mr Mullin, the druggist. Though everyone initially asked me my name - and whether I was new in town - the line of enquiry stopped there. There were never sly questions about what I was doing in Brunswick, or whether I had a husband, or how I was supporting myself. As I came to discover, this lack of obtrusive curiosity was the Maine way. People respected your privacy … because they wanted you to respect theirs. More tellingly, in true Maine style, the state’s unspoken social code was a fiercely independent one: your business is your own damn business, not mine. Even if they were interested in your back story, they forced themselves to appear disinterested … out of fear of being labeled meddlesome, or the village gossip. Maine was probably one of the few places in America where taciturnity and reserve were considered civic virtues.
Brunswick, therefore, was an easy place to live. After five years of turning out journalistic copy week after week, it was pleasant to take a sabbatical from my typewriter. I caught up with reading. I audited a conversational French course at the college, and spent at least three hours a day studying verb conjugations and vocabulary. Once a week, Ruth insisted on picking me up in her Studebaker and bringing me to her house for dinner. Once a week, I would walk the three blocks to Dr Bolduck’s office, and submit myself to an examination. Six weeks into the pregnancy, he pronounced himself pleased with my progress to date.
‘So far so good,’ he said after I got dressed and sat down in the chair opposite his desk. ‘As long as we get you to the second trimester without complications, you really should have a good chance of seeing this all the way through. You are taking it easy, right?’
‘Brunswick isn’t exactly a strenuous town.’
Dr Bolduck winced. ‘Do I take that as a back-handed compliment?’
‘I’m sorry. That came out all the wrong way.’
‘No - you’re right. This is a pretty quiet place.’
‘Which makes it the right place for me at this moment in time.’
‘I’ve been meaning to ask you: are you doing any writing while you’re here?’
I went white. He immediately looked apologetic.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘That was intrusive of me.’
‘How did you know I was a writer?’
‘I do subscribe to Saturday Night/Sunday Morning, Sara. Just as I also read the Maine Gazette every afternoon. Your brother’s death made the paper up here, you know.’
‘I don’t believe it.’
‘It was a wire service report: a short piece about his sudden death, and his earlier dismissal from NBC after Winchell exposed his past. And how Sara Smythe of Saturday Night/Sunday Morning was his sister.’
‘Why didn’t you mention this before?’
‘Because that would have been nosy. In fact, now I feel like a right fool for that slip of the tongue. I really would never have mentioned anything.’
‘Do you think other people in Brunswick know who I am?’ He shifted uneasily in his chair. ‘They do, don’t they?’
‘Well …’ he said hesitantly. ‘It is a small place. And though no one would directly ask questions to your face, they do talk among themselves. The other night, for example, I was at a dinner with a couple of college people and Duncan Howell - the editor of the Maine Gazette. I don’t know how your name came up in conversation, but Duncan turned to me and said, “Do you know who I hear is living in Brunswick? Sara Smythe - who wrote that really smart column in Saturday/Sunday. I’d love to approach her about maybe writing something for us … but I don’t want to intrude. Especially as I gather she’s up here to get away from New York and that whole business with her brother …’
I suddenly felt ill.
‘Dr Bolduck, you didn’t say anything about me being a patient of yours?’
‘God, no. That would have been completely unethical. I’d never, never dream of …’
‘Fine, fine,’ I said weakly.
‘I now feel terrible. But I promise you this: Maine being Maine, people will never let on they know who you are.’
‘Who I am is completely inconsequential. What worries me is the stares in the street I’ll begin to get once my pregnancy is apparent.’
‘Once again, no one will ever shun you because of your marital status.’
‘They’ll just gossip behind my back.’
‘As small towns go, this is a pretty tolerant place. I think you’ll find more sympathy than anything else. And I tell you this: everyone at that dinner the other night said what happened to your brother was an awful thing … and wasn’t he a brave man to stand up for what he believed.’
‘So you don’t think he was a Communist stooge? A flunky of Stalin, disguised as Marty Manning’s top banana? You’re smiling. Why?’
‘Because encountering Manhattan wit, face to face, in Brunswick is a rare thing. But can I say something? Like a lot of people I know around here, I have great doubts about what McCarthy and his ilk are up to. Especially as they are supposedly running this witch hunt in our name … which makes me very uncomfortable. And I just want to say: I am truly sorry for your loss. Do you have other siblings?’
‘He was my only family.’
Dr Bolduck said nothing … and I was grateful for that. I quickly changed the subject back to medical matters, asking whether my need to urinate every half-hour was particularly worrisome.
‘I’m afraid it’s a common complaint during pregnancy,’ he said. ‘And one which medical science has no answer for.’
‘Until next week then?’ I asked, standing up.
Bolduck got up from his chair. ‘Once again, I am sorry for that faux pas.’
‘No … it’s better to know these things.’
‘Would you mind if I told you something else then?’
‘Go ahead.’
‘I know that Duncan Howell, being the decent guy that he is, would never dream of calling you to see if you want to write for the Maine Gazette. But from the way he sounded, I’m sure he’d be thrilled to bits if you were interested.’
‘I’m taking a break from the word business,’ I said. ‘But thanks for the tip.’
Naturally, two days later, I picked up the phone and called Duncan Howell at the Maine Gazette. I was put through to him immediately.
‘Well, this is an honor,’ he said.
‘You are about the first editor in history who’s ever said that.’
‘Glad to hear that. It’s nice to have you in Brunswick.’
‘It’s nice to be here.’
‘How about letting me buy you lunch, Miss Smythe?’
‘That would be fine.’
‘Now we have two choices of venue. I could take you to the Brunswick version of posh - which means the dining room of our best inn, the Stowe House. Or I could introduce you to some proper local color, in the form of our best diner: the Miss Brunswick.’
‘Oh, the diner without question,’ I said.
Duncan Howell was a pleasant, portly man in his early thirties. He dressed like a college professor: tweed jacket, v-neck sweater, knit tie. He wore horn-rimmed glasses. He smoked a pipe. He was a son of Brunswick. He’d
grown up knowing he’d go to Bowdoin and eventually work for the paper his family had owned for the past seventy-five years. He spoke with the slow, no-rush, back-country cadences that defined the Maine inflection. But like everyone else I’d met in the state, he was anything but a hick.
He was already seated at a booth in the Miss Brunswick when I entered. It was a proper diner: a prefabricated corrugated aluminum structure with a laminated vinyl lunch counter, and six booths, and a clientele of truckers and soldiers from the local naval air station, and a short order cook with a lit cigarette in his mouth, and waitresses who used pencils as bobby pins. I liked it immediately. Just as I also liked Duncan Howell.
He stood up as I entered. He waited until I sat down opposite him before taking his seat again. The waitress called him ‘Duncan’. He insisted on referring to me as Miss Smythe. He suggested I try The Trucker’s Special: a steak, a stack of pancakes, three eggs, home fries, six pieces of toast, bottomless coffee. When I said that I might stick to a modest hamburger and a cup of Joe, he said that I’d never have a future driving a rig.
We ordered. We made small talk. He talked a bit about local politics, about the expansion of the local paper mill, and regional worries that the Boston train might soon be canceled, due to lack of economic viability. He told me a bit about the Maine Gazette: how his great-grandfather founded it in 1875, how it maintained an independent political stance, and (like most of Maine) refused to slavishly back a specific political party.
‘By inclination, this is a Republican state,’ he explained. ‘But that doesn’t mean that we’ve always supported Republican candidates for national or state office. We always came out in favor of Roosevelt. Twice, we supported Democrats in our senate races …’
‘And what do you think of Joe McCarthy?’ I asked.
He didn’t seemed disconcerted by my challenging tone … though, frankly, I was surprised that I popped that question so directly.
‘I’ll be entirely straight with you, Miss Smythe. I do take the idea of a Communist menace seriously. I do think, for example, that all the evidence points to the guilt of the Rosenbergs, and that treason is a capital offence. But on the subject of Mr McCarthy … well, he genuinely worries me. Because (a) I consider him a complete opportunist who is using this Communist issue as a way of wielding power, and (b) because he has destroyed a lot of innocent people in the process.’
He looked at me directly. ‘And, in my book, destroying innocent people is unforgivable.’
I met his gaze. ‘I’m glad you think that way.’
He shifted the conversation towards my ‘work’ at the moment.
‘I’m not working at the moment. No doubt, you know why.’
‘We did run a piece about your brother. I’m very sorry. Is that why you came to Maine?’
‘I needed to get away for a while, yes.’
‘I presume Saturday/Sunday were very understanding about giving you leave.’
‘Oh, they certainly wanted me on leave. Because, as far as they were concerned, my brother’s refusal to play ball with HUAC meant that I was now a liability to them.’
Duncan Howell actually looked shocked. ‘Tell me they didn’t do that.’
‘I was as stunned as you were. Especially as they knew I was about the most apolitical person imaginable. Even my poor brother had completely renounced his brief fling with Communism during the thirties.’
‘But he still refused to name names.’
‘Quite rightly, in my opinion.’
‘It’s a tough call, any way you look at it. And I can see why certain people probably thought naming names was a patriotic gesture … and why others saw it as a self-serving one. But I certainly respect your brother’s high principles.’
‘Look where it got him. I’ll be honest with you, Mr Howell. There are times when I wish to God he’d just named names like everybody else. Because he’d still be here. And because, quite honestly, if history teaches us anything it’s that today’s life-or-death argument becomes a lot less consequential as years go by. What I’m saying is: sooner or later, the country will wise up and the blacklisting will end. In time, historians will probably write about this period as a political aberration; a shameful blight in our national life. And they’ll be right. But my brother will still be dead and gone.’
‘I’m sure he’d still want you to be writing.’
‘But - haven’t you heard? - I’ve been blacklisted too.’
‘Only by Saturday/Sunday. And they haven’t officially terminated you.’
As soon as this paid leave-of-absence is over, they will. And word travels fast in Manhattan. Once Saturday/Sunday fires me, I’m definitely going to be declared a journalistic untouchable.’
‘Not in Brunswick, Maine, you won’t.’
‘Well, that’s nice to know,’ I said with a laugh.
And I bet one of the hardest things about your enforced sabbatical is being “out of print”, so to speak.’
‘How did you guess that?’
‘Because I’ve been around journalists all my life. If there’s one thing they can’t live without, it’s an audience. I’m offering you an audience, Sara. A small audience. But an audience nonetheless.’
‘Aren’t you worried about employing a political hot potato like me?’
‘No,’ he said directly.
‘And what sort of thing would you want me to be writing?’
‘Probably something similar to your “Real Life” column. We’d talk that through.’
‘Saturday/Sunday might get a little upset, were they to discover that I was working for someone else while collecting their paycheck.’
‘Did you sign a contract with them, granting them complete exclusivity to your work?’
I shook my head.
‘Did they insist that you didn’t write for anyone else while on leave?’
‘No.’
‘Then there’s no problem.’
‘I guess there isn’t.’
‘But there is, of course, the matter of money. Now, if you wouldn’t mind a private question, what did they pay you weekly for your column?’
‘One hundred and eighty dollars.’
Duncan Howell gulped. ‘I don’t even make that much,’ he said. ‘And there’s no way I could ever come near matching that. We are a small town, after all.’
‘I’m not saying you have to match that. How’s fifty bucks a column sound to you? That’s about what I spend a week on rent and basic items.’
‘It’s still far more than I pay any other columnist on the paper.’
I arched my eyebrows. Duncan Howell took the hint. ‘Fine, fine,’ he said, proffering his hand. ‘Fifty a week it is.’
I took his hand. ‘Nice to be back on the job,’ I said.
Of course, Duncan Howell was right. Though I wasn’t admitting it (and kept telling myself that I really wanted a break from my typewriter), I was desperately missing my weekly fix in print. And yes, he was so damn shrewd to glean that off me. Just as he probably sensed that what I needed more than anything was work. I wasn’t good at being slothful, unproductive. I needed direction, focus; a shape and a purpose to the day. Like anyone who was used to having an audience, I really craved one again. Even if my audience was no longer a national one, but the eight thousand daily readers of the Maine Gazette.
The Pursuit of Happiness (2001) Page 61
