I’m breaking free. I slide through, carefully, and rise up on the other side. I’ve made it! And I didn’t rip my dress! Ha! There is no way Cassandra and Leo are fitting through that hole. I brush my dress and…oh, of course all that dust and crap is stuck to my wet dress. I try to brush it out but of course, because the fabric is wet all that dust and dirt is caked on my front. Just wonderful.
I feel around my rear and, yes, yes there is crap stuck there too from the top of the hole. But did I rip my dress? I didn’t hear it rip. I feel to make sure that there isn’t a tear. I don’t feel anything. Good. At least I have my dignity.
I summon a ball of light and step down the hall with Gerald beside me. The other goblins are coming along as I ordered them and I levitate the plate with my books on it.
“That could have been humiliating,” Gerald says.
“Yes,” I say curtly.
“Your fat ass stuck in that hole when my sister and friends come along,” Gerald says.
Fat ass? My ass is not fat! It is wonderfully curvy and oh shut up Vivian! You sound just like Lorelei. Don’t let him know you’re vain. That is beneath you!
“I hadn’t thought of that,” I say. I didn’t give him any indication that I cared about his comment. Because I am superior here!
I still want to knock him down for calling my ass fat only I would sound too much like my sister. That will not do! Even if we are more alike than I care to admit I refuse to prance around preening all day like Lorelei. I love her dearly but when I see her I just don’t want to look like that.
Is my ass that fat though? I almost try and glance behind me to see but no; that is what my sister would do. I’m better than my sister. At least I act better.
“And…is that a rip in your dress?” Gerald asks.
“No, I felt back there to make sure,” I say.
“Are you sure?”
“Are you telling me I can’t find a hole in my dress?”
“Can you?”
By the gods he is infuriating me! Is my rear end fat? Is there a hole in my dress?
“So you’re saying you want to be tossed into the first chasm we find?” I ask.
“I was just making conversation,” Gerald says.
No, you’re pissing me off!
“Any of you goblins know the way to the warrens?” I yell at the goblins.
“Yes highness.”
Finally! Good news.
“Good, lead the way,” I command. Excellent. They will take me to the warrens and then I’ll…where are they going?
“Stop!” I say.
They are heading back!
“Yes highness?”
“Where are you going?”
“Highness wants to go to the warrens,” a goblin says.
“Yes, down this way,” I say.
“No, the entrance is this way.”
For fuck’s sake.
“That way is closed,” I say.
“Highness can’t open it?”
“Highness can open it,” I say. I really need to stop talking about myself in the third person. “I want to go this way.”
“Why?”
“Because I ordered it!”
“The entrance…this way?”
“Yes. That one up there is the main entrance, right?”
“Yes.”
“So there are side entrances, right?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know the way to the side entrances?”
“Yes.”
“Along this tunnel, going this way away from the main entrance?”
“No.”
Shit.
Gerald starts to laugh. I glare at him.
“Sorry,” Gerald says. I turn to my goblins.
“I send you on patrols all the time down here.”
“Yes.”
“And…you don’t know how to get to the warrens from here?”
“We leave through here…go out on patrols. Come back, through here.”
Well, that is just fantastic.
“So, the warrens may not even be down here?” Gerald asks.
“The goblins have been excavating down here. It is just a matter of time before we find the entrance. Besides, there is something we need to collect first. Come along.”
We start walking down the uneven tunnel, half the goblins in front of me the other half behind me.
“You mean find someone,” Gerald says.
“What do you mean?”
I do mean that, but how does he know that?
“You said you kidnapped those two peasants because you needed to cast a spell, right?”
“Go on…”
“We passed the cells. They weren’t there,” Gerald says.
“How do you know that I didn’t give them to the goblins in the warrens for safe keeping?” I ask.
“You didn’t put me there, first of all. Then there is the fact that you had everything prepared for your spell.”
The handsome shit is smarter than I thought.
“You would want your spell components close at hand. Because, let’s be honest, you didn’t see those two people as people but as things.”
Why is he looking at me? What is he expecting me to say? My spell components were locked in those cells, yes. And?
“You are clever for a priest,” I say.
“There is one more thing,” Gerald says.
“What is that?” I ask.
“One of the peasants died,” Gerald says. “And you will pay for that.”
“Okay, one did die, but it wasn’t my fault.”
“Not your fault? How can you say that?”
“I did not order him executed,” I say.
“You had him as a prisoner,” Gerald says.
“Yes. But I ordered him to be left alive. I wanted him to be breathing and in one piece. The goblins killed him on their own. It is the goblins that you should be angry at,” I say.
“So, let me understand this. You don’t think that his life was your responsibility at all.”
“Of course not, because it wasn’t my fault,” I say. Isn’t he listening to the words I’m saying? “If it were up to me he would still be alive. I want him to be alive. Therefore I am not guilty of killing him. The goblins killed him. Not me.”
“But, without you, he would still be at his home…”
“Wait, so I put him in a position where he died. Therefore I am responsible.”
“Of course,” Gerald says.
“So, if a lord hired some peasants to farm his land. And, let’s say, ogres attacked killing them, you would have the lord tried for murder?”
“That is not the same thing…”
“But it is! The peasants would not have been in that field and killed by that ogre if the lord had not forced them to work the land. So, how can he be innocent but I am guilty when we would have done the same thing.”
“When a lord has peasants work the land, that is legal, first of all…”
“Yeah, and?”
“And the lord isn’t kidnapping them. He is paying them for work.”
“So if I sent the peasants home with some gold in their pockets, you wouldn’t think that I’m guilty of murder.”
“No, I would.”
“Why?”
“They were here because you committed a crime to bring them here!” Gerald says.
“It is not a crime in my lands,” I say.
“There is a man, dead, because you took him from his home!”
Gerald is really getting upset over this, and I’m not sure why.
“Don’t make it sound like his life had any great meaning. He lived in some wretched hovel made of mud and shit, with a life of toiling in the same mud and shit. He’s in a far better place. Because of me,” I say. “Isn’t that your belief?”
“That there is paradise? For myself, I do but…”
“And so the peasant that died is in that paradise?”
“That isn’t the point.”
“You’d rather
he was here suffering?”
“You don’t know that he was suffering,” Gerald says.
“He was a peasant, wasn’t he?”
“Of course. Not all peasants suffer,” Gerald says.
“Oh? They just love working long hours for their lord?”
“That is a serf. Peasants are a different class…”
“I see it as all the same,” I say.
“You do not understand your culpability. You kidnapped those two, then killed one…”
“No, I told you, the goblins killed one. I did not order it nor did I commit the act myself,” I say.
Gerald is not paying attention to what I am saying. I didn’t kill that peasant. In fact, I wanted him alive. I can’t cast the Sigil of Altazan because of it! How is that my fault? It isn’t! Why doesn’t he understand basic facts? I did not kill that peasant!
“So you are unrepentant,” Gerald says.
“You say that as if I did something wrong.”
“You did.”
“No. I haven’t. I have nothing to repent for. You priests think that we are all guilty,” I say.
“You are a villain…”
“I am. I admit that,” I say.
“Then why not admit you were responsible for the death of that peasant?”
“Because I’m not going to take responsibility for something that I did not do. I fully take responsibility for my own actions and I would rather be a villain, living life to its fullest, than live as some peasant or worse, some hero.”
“How is a hero worse?”
“You are constrained to a moral code. There is so much you can’t do because of those moral shackles.”
“Morality is the same as shackles to you?”
“Of course. There is nothing holding you back except yourself.”
“Without morality the world would be in chaos,” Gerald says. “Morality is not a pair of shackles.”
“You’ve had them binding you for so long you are used to wearing your shackles. You don’t know how they constrain you. Bind you. Take myself for instance. I have this realm, this domain, all to myself. Do you have one?”
“A kingdom? No.”
“Do you even have a house?”
“No, I don’t. I am a wanderer, an adventurer,” Gerald says.
“If you found one, could you take it?”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Gerald says.
“Why not?”
“Because it wouldn’t be right for me. I would rather wander the lands helping others. Morality isn’t a shackle binding me. It makes me who I am. It is something to strive for.”
“And that makes you boring,” I say. “You hop from infested hovel to infested hovel, gathering your trinkets and treasures, but never enjoying anything with it. I have this domain, I have the ability to cast a spell, any spell, of my own choosing. I can do whatever I want. I am the only thing stopping myself.”
“And you will pay for your crimes. The gods and goddesses above see all.”
“Bringing religion into it, are you?”
“The gods and goddesses judge us all.”
“Then why am I still here? I have built up my kingdom, taken those two poor, poor, peasants, and what have the gods done? Has any god smote me for it? Am I still here?” I say extending my arms. “What are they waiting for?”
“Perhaps those three heroes you are running from is the form the gods are taking for your divine punishment,” Gerald says.
“I am not running,” I say.
“This feels like running,” Gerald says.
“Given the resources available to me, I am simply relocating for better positioning. I will recapture the peasant that escaped, drag her, and you, to the warrens where I will summon my mighty army and capture the rest of your friends. Then I will replace that peasant that perished and cast the Sigil of Altazan,” I say.
“That is quite a leap you can make from running through a hole in the wall into an unknown cavern to capturing your pursuers and casting your precious spell,” Gerald says.
“You are trying to convince me that I am losing. That I am destined for failure.”
“Are you not?”
“No. And it doesn’t change the fact that I am still ahead in this,” I say.
“Ahead? You are running down a cave with a dozen goblins. You’ve abandoned your position…”
“And you are concerned because?”
“I want you to surrender,” Gerald says.
“Of course you do.”
“I don’t mean it like that…”
“Of course you do,” I say, cutting him off. “You invaded my realm. And despite your capture you are looking for a victory and if I just gave up that would settle things for you pretty nicely, wouldn’t it? A grand victory over a villain! Well, this villain isn’t giving up!”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Gerald says, getting annoyed. “I am trying to save you from any more hardship.”
“Let’s say I do surrender, what are my chances of victory then?”
“None. Because you would have surrendered.”
“And if I continue on down this path?”
“You want to hold onto the glimmer of hope. I understand. You’re in denial,” Gerald says.
“No. You are in denial,” I say. “This is my realm you have invaded and I will defend it!”
Passages and Trails
It won’t take the heroes long to discover where I went. I can hope that they will think that the hole I slid through was too small and will head down the larger path to the warrens, and I was thinking that, but now I’m doubting that outcome. Why? Well, first, my luck is utter shit today. And second? I’m sure Leo or Katie will notice that a lot of traffic has slid through that crack recently. Then they will notice that the blood in the cells, from the peasant and the goblins, is recent.
I can cling onto the fact that Cassandra and Leo won’t fit so they’ll have to spend precious time widening that opening. That will give me time to get ahead and plan…something. I’m not sure what, but it’ll be grand! And yes, I am positive that Katie can squeeze through without any issues. But she won’t leave Leo and Cassandra behind. If anything, they’ve proven that they are a group. They might as well all be glued to the hip. Too bad I couldn’t set any glue traps. While it leaves heroes alive, it allows me to gloat and prove my superiority. And I love proving that any chance I get.
That’s not a bad idea. You know what would be great here? Traps. Why am I not preparing traps? Vivian, get your head on straight!
“Stop here,” I say.
“Yes highness.”
“Why stop here?” Gerald asks.
“I’m going to prepare some surprises for your friends,” I say. Where is Morgan’s book on this plate? Here. Let me flip to the trap chapter…
“You’re going to waste your time preparing a trap?” Gerald asks.
“If it kills or seriously injures a hero, it’s not a waste of time.”
Yes, I said I’d love to capture the heroes, but the heroes have me by my short hairs. An undignified position like that means I have to eliminate the pests by any means available to me.
“Katie can spot any trap you plant easily.”
Does he really expect me to just stop? Oh, Katie will see through this? Well, I guess I shouldn’t even bother then. Let’s continue!
Idiot.
“For her sake you should hope so. Also stop pestering me. I’m trying to read.”
There are two types of runes. There are runes that affect other runes, like trigger runes or timed runes. The other group consists of the rune capable of active effects. The former react when they come in contact with someone, most commonly by stepping on them, and the latter are the traps themselves. Of course, a trap rune without a trigger rune will still trigger but sometimes it is better to plan things out this way.
“Are you going to just stand here and read now?” Gerald asks.
“It’s been a while since I’ve read this chapter,” I s
ay.
“Well, take all the time you want.”
He’s right. The more time I spend here the closer the heroes get. I remember enough, I just need the shapes of the runes. Where are the runes that go boom? Morgan wasn’t strictly a runecaster. Most of her traps are of the physical variety, which use tripwires and pressure plates. And with goblins any kind of trap just isn’t really possible. But there won’t be any goblins running up here to set any traps off.
So, most runes that are used for traps are the triggers themselves, as I mentioned. You can set up some interesting combinations if you have the time; which I don’t so I’m just going to hope for the best.
What can I do? Hmm. Instead of just a fire trap that goes boom I can set up an oil spray and then a fire trap all linked to the same contact. Or water and lightning. That might work. I remember water, and here is a lightning rune and here is a contact rune! Yes, yes…this will work. I’ll do this.
“What spell is that?” Gerald asks.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” I say.
“It is why I asked.”
Smart ass. I’ll just ignore him. I need a stone to carve with. This should work. How much energy do I have? I don’t want to collapse next to these runes. I should just make this a grand trap so I don’t have to keep stopping.
I take a sharp rock lying nearby and I carve out my first contact rune on the rocky floor. Once I’m done with the first I look around and see a few other spots where the heroes might not spot a contact rune. I walk over and begin to carve away.
Was that a shadow up the tunnel? I look up into the darkness.
It was nothing. I need to hurry, not waste time at every little shadow. Is this taking longer than usual? It feels like it is.
Okay, I’m done carving the contact runes, four in all. Now…the ceiling is high. Casting runes from range will take more out of me since I have to use my magic to levitate the stone I’m using to carve, but I’m committed now. I go to work carving three water runes, spread out over an area. I want the heroes, wherever they are, to get wet.
I’m done with the three water runes.
The Goblin Queen and the Sigil of Altazan (The League of Sinister Means Book 2) Page 14
