There! Something is moving. I can see a shadow appear from around the corner. What is it?
Gerald! Shit!
I duck back behind the corner. The heroes found me! I really am defeated. This can’t be happening to me. It can’t! Maybe if I run for it…
“Hello,” Gerald calls out. “Yes, yes, I am seeing who it is. I think it is…ouch! Fine!”
Ouch? Why would he say that?
I turn back around the corner and see Gerald’s face.
“It’s her,” he says.
“I warn you Gerald…I’ll fight…”
“No need for that,” Gerald says stepping out from around the corner, still bound and still in his underpants.
“Then who? My goblins?” I ask.
Am I saved? Is it my goblins?
The goblins come around the corner. Those four got Gerald and returned to me with him. They…they actually did what they were told? I…I don’t know what to say.
Hold on a second. There are more than four goblins. Fifteen at least! Including one with a red sash! Oh, glorious day!
“Highness!” they yell excitedly.
“My goblins!” I say stepping towards them.
“What happened to you?” Gerald asked.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” I say.
“It is why I asked.”
Is he being sarcastic or actually concerned? I can’t tell.
“I ran into some difficulties,” I say. “But let’s talk about you. So, did you try and escape?”
“I did,” Gerald says. “I admit, it wasn’t smart on my part. Turns out I can’t see real well in the dark.”
“I thought heroes were supposed to make their plans out in advance.”
“I seized the moment,” Gerald says.
“That is something you shouldn’t have seized. I lost that peasant because of you.”
“I apologize,” Gerald says.
“Now I need to replace her and the man.”
“You are still alive, and in one piece?”
“I am! And stop trying to make me feel guilty for not appreciating the fact that I can still breathe! I was this…this close to casting the Sigil of Altazan! And because of you, and the goblins…”
“Highness?”
“Oh, you aren’t escaping any responsibilities! If it wasn’t for you, who I told to guard the peasants and keep them alive and in one piece, would we be here? Would I be here sans two peasants? No! I think you all, and Gerald, need to take responsibility for what you’ve done to me!”
“We apologize highness,” the goblins say, one by one.
“I apologize too,” Gerald says.
He does? No fight? No ‘but you need to see the light or the evils of your ways’ bullshit? And he looks sincere. Well…I’ll take it. At least they can all see what they’ve done to me. Maybe now I can move on without being reminded of this awful day I’ve been having!
“Good,” I say, turning around.
Shit!
“You…you ripped your…” Gerald starts to say
“I know!”
“So that woman you were hunting escaped? What happened?”
“Not…talking…about…it!” I say. “Now, come on!”
“Where are we going?” Gerald asks.
“I need to find out where your friends are. Wait a moment, you goblins, you are a patrol,” I say turning back around.
“Yes highness,” the red sashed goblin says.
“Then, you’ve been to this city before?” I ask.
“Sometimes,” the goblin replies.
“Is this the deep deep?” I ask.
“It is next to the deep deep.”
Well, this is progress. I think.
“Can you make your way back to the warrens without going all the way back to the top?”
“Yes highness,” the goblin replies.
Oh, oh this is grand! I’ll have my army! I’ll actually have it with me once more! Those heroes will be stopped once and for all!
“I am sending you along with…you three. This is important. I am sending you with the red sash because it is important. You understand me?”
“Yes highness.”
“I need you to go to the warrens and bring back as many goblins as you can. Heroes have invaded my realm and we need to capture them,” I say.
“Yes highness,” the goblin with the red sash says.
“Good. Go!” I command. The goblin rushes off with three others close behind him.
“And, us?” Gerald asks.
“We are going to find some water so I can scry on your friends,” I say. “Then we are going to find a place we can defend from until the goblins from my warrens arrive.”
“And then, attack my friends?” Gerald asks.
“Yes. Oh, don’t look so sad. You did bring this on yourselves by stepping into my domain. You took the risk,” I say.
“That we did,” Gerald says.
“You seem too optimistic,” I say as I start limping down the street. “You aren’t still counting on your luck, are you?”
“I think that everything will turn out for the best in the end,” Gerald says.
“By, the best, you mean a victory over me,” I say.
“I do mean that,” Gerald says.
“Because heroes always defeat villains,” I say.
“That is true,” Gerald says.
“But it doesn’t always happen.”
“It doesn’t?” Gerald asks.
“Of course not. You just don’t like hearing the tales of the heroes that get defeated.”
“Because there aren’t any.”
“Oh, but there are. Mabh and Vashti have been known to tell their tales. The Bear of Balmoria, Ivy, has quite a few good tales of her own and Natasha has masterminded her own victories over heroes for a few years now. My favorite, though, is a series of stories by Tabitha, the Witch of the Northern Seas. Oh, can she spin a tale about defeating heroes like you!”
“Sounds like you’re a fan of hers.”
“I am. A big fan.”
“I guess villains tell tales of their victories and heroes tell tales of theirs. Anything can happen in a final confrontation. A misplaced step, a goblin getting underfoot…”
“A hero tripping and falling on their own sword?” I ask.
“Anything can happen.”
“You rely too much on luck. Just because you call yourself a hero, you think that the universe will reward you with victory. Well, I try just as hard as you heroes and I deserve the same victory!”
“We have been successful for many years. We haven’t always caught and punished a villain, but we rarely lose completely.”
“I mean to end your lucky streak. You should have learned from that vampire.”
“Learned what?”
“How much you relied on luck. You heroes, just charging in blindly, expect to always win. Cassandra was charmed, leaving you with three heroes, all alone.”
“Like now.”
“Nothing like now.”
“How is it different?”
“To start with, I’m not a vampire. I have different goals.”
Like not being enamored with Cassandra’s inflated charms.
“Different goals, but just as villainous. You have done wrong and you will be punished.”
“You have done wrong,” I say mocking him. “Do you even hear yourself? There will be no reward for you just because you’ve taken some moral stance!”
“Speaking of rewards, it looks like you’ve been rewarded for your ill deeds,” Gerald says.
Oh, I will not prove him right! This is not karma! Or my comeuppance!
“I slipped,” I say. “Nothing more.”
“Well, I can heal it if you want me to,” Gerald offers.
It…it is a tempting offer. This still aches like a motherfucker and I doubt it will go away soon. I’m afraid to look at it. It’s probably all bruised. My lady bumps, all black and blue…I don’t want to think about it. But if I g
ive in to this pain, give him his magic back to him; I have only his word that he will relinquish that power back. Assuming of course he doesn’t cast some spell to incapacitate me. I have no idea what spells he has available to use. Priests do know more than healing magic.
“No thanks,” I say. “I’m fine.”
“Suit yourself,” Gerald says.
I will suit myself, thank you very much. I’m not going to be in a position where I think, gee, if only I was back in the place where it felt like someone had lit a fire in my underpants. Those were great times! Not happening Gerald! I know your tricks, hero!
We continue walking down the street. I can hear the waterfall easily now so I’m not entirely lost. The trip is slower than I wish it was. At least I’m not alone.
Gerald is silent for once. He is looking around at the buildings, staring inside the open doors and windows, marveling at the architecture. He should be happy to be able to see an old dwarf city.
I also see him stare at the bones and pieces of armor and weapons that are scattered all over the streets. I catch his eye lingering on a breastplate that has holes in it. He knows something bad went down here.
And now he is paying more interest in the buildings. His eyes are gazing inside those open doorways and windows, into those empty stone husks. He has to know that this dwarf city was conquered by someone or something a long time ago. I can see it on his face; the fear that something might still be out there.
“I thought you might have been something else,” I say. “When you poked your head around the corner.”
“We thought the same of you,” Gerald says.
“We?”
“Well, I as their prisoner,” Gerald says. “They, um, volunteered me to step out to see what it was that we were tracking.”
“Good goblins,” I say with a smile.
“Thank you highness,” a few say with beaming smiles.
“Yes, I suppose it was good tactics,” Gerald says.
“Even if it was your life at risk?”
“I put my life at risk when I stepped in here. You were right,” Gerald says.
He’s complimenting me? I mean, I know I was right but I do love hearing someone else say that to me.
“You have no idea how I love hearing that,” I say.
“I won’t stroke your ego too much,” Gerald says.
I should make a joke. No. We’re having a pleasant conversation. No need to ruin it.
“You are seeing now that you’re going to come up short then? Your quest is a futile one. You see that now, right?”
“Oh, there is still hope.”
“You heroes…you cling to hope like a baby does a blanket. No! Don’t take away my hope! It makes me feel safe,” I say, mockingly to him.
“Make your fun,” Gerald says. Nothing seems to get a rise from him. He is calm and focused. Why?
“What’s your plan then?” I ask.
“My plan? Right now, not getting killed is my chief plan.”
“And if your sister shows up?”
“Well, her safety is my chief concern.”
“And Leo and Cassandra?”
“Their safety is my concern too,” Gerald says.
“And that’s it? You aren’t planning on leaving? No plan on escape rattling around in that head of yours?”
“I…I can’t see in the dark. I would need to take my focus back from you, without you or the goblins noticing, then slip away or fight you and the goblins. And, if I’m being realistic, if I could just defeat you I would have done so by now.”
“More of a lover than a fighter,” I say.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Gerald says.
How can he not?
“Were you holding back when you were fighting alongside the others? They looked like they knew how to fight. You? It looked like you and martial combat are casual acquaintances. You fight with all the fury and ferocity of a puppy. And you say you are a better fighter than a lover? I should be glad you are gay because I would have just been left frustrated and unfulfilled.”
“I thought that you’ve moved beyond disappointment.”
“I have. There are other men out there. I know it isn’t…your choice…and even if I am a little disappointed, if I am being frightfully honest, I don’t disparage your…inclination.”
“Is that an apology?” Gerald asks.
“What? An apology? For what? I have nothing to apologize for,” I say.
Really? Apologize? Is that what people do out there in heroland? They just apologize for any perceived slight?
“I will take what I can get,” Gerald says.
He is still taking it as an apology. I am not apologizing.
“It is still not an apology,” I say.
“That’s fine, if you say so,” Gerald says. “I believe you.”
He doesn’t. He is an awful liar. He is as good at lying as fighting. I just realized, Gerald isn’t great at anything, is he? Well, other than healing I guess.
“And my skills as a lover are none of your business.”
“I would think not,” I say. “Unless I sprouted a penis.”
“Even if you knew a shapechange spell…”
“Oh please, get over yourself. You are handsome but I’m not going to trick you. I have serious goals in mind and your, cock, while appealing at one point, is quite small to me now.”
I smile at him. See, I wasn’t apologizing.
“Where are we going anyway?” Gerald asks.
Aw, I’ve hurt his feelings. I feel like I just kicked a puppy. Well, it is his fault for thinking that I was apologizing. If it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t have had to mock his junior member.
“You want me to see that I was wrong?” I ask.
“No. I’ll keep what dignity I still have, thank you.”
“I’ll apologize if I was wrong,” I say.
He’s thinking about it. He may be gay but he is still a man. Men have pride in their trouser snakes. Or pant worms as is the case for some men.
“I don’t need to prove anything,” Gerald says.
“Not to me at least,” I say.
“What does that mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I seriously don’t.”
“You want to prove me wrong and you want me to apologize to you.”
“That is tempting.”
“You just think it is beneath you.”
“I am not prideful,” Gerald says.
“Not prideful? Then why not show me? Why won’t you let me look?” I ask.
“Why don’t you just look? I’m your prisoner,” Gerald says.
“I’m not some sexual predator,” I say. “Unless I have some reason to, I have no interest in taking your underpants off. I want you to show me.”
“Then I will just be a mystery to you,” Gerald says.
“Fine,” I say. “Be mysterious.”
We turn down another street, a large street, and I can see mist fly up from the edge of the street not more than two hundred feet away. We’ve made it!
Ghosts of the Past
I walk slowly to the edge of the street and see that this was not part of the intended construction. The street ends in an uneven cliff as if whatever was on the other side just slid down into the depths below us.
I creep to the edge and peer down. I can see the flowing of the river but I can’t see anything else. I cast a spell to create a second orb of light and send it down to the bottom.
After all these years some of the structures are still down there. There are corners of buildings, a steeple or tower to a building, but I can’t even tell where the street begins and ends. The fast moving water has moved all but the heaviest and sturdiest parts of the buildings and washed it all downriver.
“What do you see?”
“A lot of water,” I say.
“What happened?” Gerald asks.
“The dwarves were all killed.”
“I know.”
“You mean how? I d
on’t know.”
“You aren’t curious?” Gerald asks.
“I am. I just don’t care enough. We are too high to collect the water. Maybe there is a basement that will work better. Let’s check out this building,” I say pointing to the closest building.
“It looks dangerous,” Gerald says.
“Highness! Highness!” the goblins say.
“Yes?”
“Send him in! Let him take the risk!” the goblins yell at me.
“No,” I say.
“No? I’m flattered,” Gerald says.
“You think I’m sending you in there alone? I know there are weapons and pieces of armor lying about. Most of it should be brittle and old but I’m not taking any chances. You are going in with me. You four are coming in with me. The rest of you, check out the nearby buildings. We are looking for pools of water and anything else that looks important.”
“Yes highness,” the goblins say.
We venture into the building that I said I would search with Gerald behind me. We both look around and see some skeletons on the floor along with some pieces of armor and a handful of weapons.
“Have you given up on your spell?” Gerald asks as we look around.
“Certainly not. I am only missing two ingredients,” I say.
“And you know you can’t summon wealth, right?”
“I know the restrictions,” I say.
“Then why?”
“Why cast the Sigil of Altazan?” I ask.
“Yes,” Gerald says as we make our way to the stairs and descend to the second floor.
“My reasons should be painfully obvious,” I say.
Pff. More spiders in my face. This is horrible! I can’t get it off fast enough. And of course, it is stuck to my fingers once again. I wipe it on my dress because, at this point, why not? This dress will just be rags when this is over. I’m glad I didn’t change into what my sister gave me. I’d hate to have to explain to her that it was destroyed on account of some heroes. I may not like the style but it is still a gift from her. By the gods! Did I leave that in the temple? Does Katie have it? Did they destroy it? They better have left it alone!
“Have you found anything interesting down here?”
The Goblin Queen and the Sigil of Altazan (The League of Sinister Means Book 2) Page 23
