“Really needed that,” I hear Tracker say. I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but I can’t seem to make my feet carry me away.
“What’s up with you?” Arrow asks. “Things okay with Lana?”
Yes, I definitely wasn’t going to move.
“She’s amazing,” Tracker replies. “Just fuckin’ hard sometimes. I’m always trying to keep her away from things, the dark side of me, I guess. I don’t want her to run, you know? But in the process I’m losing some of me. I love to fight, and I haven’t been in this ring for ages, just ’cause I don’t want her to worry.”
“You live like that, you’re gonna be miserable,” Arrow replies quietly. “You have to do you, Tracker; I’m sure Lana will take you any way you come. If not, then she’s not the one for you.”
Arrow is off my Christmas list.
“She’s the one,” Tracker says quickly. “Feel it in my gut. She’s my old lady. She’s mine.”
“She’s stronger than you think,” Arrow says, taking a deep draw from the joint. “She’s small, but her mind isn’t.”
“I didn’t want her to know, the blood I have on my hands. She knows nothing. I thought that was best, but now it feels like she doesn’t really know all of me. I need her to accept all of me,” Tracker admits, lying down on his back, staring at the ceiling. “I’m not a good man, I don’t think. But I’m not a bad man. I’ve hurt people. Never a woman or a kid. But men, yes.”
“You’re a good man,” Arrow says gruffly. “And fuck you for thinking otherwise. We all have our demons, Tracker, some worse than others. When I see Lana, the way she looks at you. Fuck, man, just be up front with her. Pretty sure that girl will follow you straight to hell and back.”
“Hopefully that won’t be required,” Tracker replies in a dry tone, then admits in a whisper, “I’d kill for her. I just want to protect her.”
“And you do,” Arrow says. “But when shit gets tough, as it usually does at some point around here, you need to have her ready, not left in the dark.”
I step away and head back to the room, thinking about what I’d heard, feeling glad I’d heard it and guilty over hearing it at the same time. I had no idea he felt that way, that he was still trying to be what he thought I wanted him to be, not who he was.
Censoring himself.
I don’t want him to feel as though he has to. I’ve accepted him, who he is, what he belongs to. He wants me in deep, and I’m so deep that I can’t stand. Now, I just need to prove it to him.
* * *
The next time I wake up, he’s spooning me.
Much better.
I decide to wake him up with my mouth on him, trying not to be put off over what happened last time.
And when he comes, it’s my name he growls in pleasure.
* * *
“Lana, wait,” Anna calls, grabbing my arm. “Slow down.”
“What is it?” I ask, glancing around. We’d just had lunch together and I was about to start my first class for the day. Following her line of sight, I see four men on their bikes watching us. They aren’t Wind Dragons, nor are they Wild Men.
“Who are they?” I ask, trying to not make it obvious we’re talking about them.
“No idea, but I don’t like the way they’re watching us,” she says quietly, pulling me in the other direction. We get in my car and drive to the clubhouse first, then get Blade to drive me to school. Anna doesn’t want me to be alone, just in case. Class is boring and drags on. Instead of paying attention, I find myself writing out an outline for a new book. When it’s over, I’m surprised to see Tracker waiting for me instead of Blade.
“What a nice surprise,” I say, practically jumping into his arms.
“You and Anna did well today, coming back to the clubhouse instead of going off on your own,” he says, giving me a quick, sweet kiss.
“I know,” I say. “I think Anna is maturing. Did you find out who those men were?”
“Kind of,” he evades. “We’re going on a run tonight.”
“How long will you be gone for?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.
“Two nights,” he replies.
“Okay,” I say, trying not to show my disappointment. “Who’s staying behind this time?”
“Arrow,” he says. “And you’re going to stay in the clubhouse while I’m gone so I don’t have to worry about your ass.”
I puff out a breath. “Okay, yeah, I can do that.”
“That’s my girl,” he says, taking my bag from me. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I wanna spend time with you before we have to ride out.”
“Okay,” I say, then take a deep breath. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
“What?” he asks, opening my car door for me. I look around. “How did you even get here?”
“Got dropped off by Rake,” he says. “Blade left with him. So what do you want to talk to me about?”
We get into the car and he waits patiently, looking at me expectantly. “I woke up last night and you weren’t in bed, so I went to find you. You were in the gym talking with Arrow and I kind of heard everything.”
Because I was trying to.
I leave out that part.
Tracker studies me in silence. “Just how much of it did you stay for?”
Yeah, he’s angry.
“I don’t know,” I say in a quiet, remorseful tone. “More than I should have. But it was about me, so obviously I listened. If it was about something else, then I wouldn’t have.”
I think.
He runs a hand through his hair, which is loose around his shoulders. “Fuckin’ hell, Lana—”
“I just want to be honest, so that’s why I’m telling you,” I say shyly. “I also want to tell you that I’m a writer. I kept that to myself too. I don’t know why. It was just mine, but I want it to be ours.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy, which I probably am. This isn’t exactly the time to bring up the whole writer thing.
“What did you think,” he asks. “About what you heard? I don’t want you to think that you don’t know me, because you do. You just don’t know that side of me, and it’s my fault because I’ve been hiding it from you.”
“Tracker,” I say, swallowing hard. “I do know you. I know you’d never hurt me; I know that you take care of me. You’re good to those you care about. I can handle every side of you. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m not going to run, I promise.”
He glances out the window, before returning his gaze to me. “I don’t think you know what you’re saying.”
“Tracker—”
“What if I end up in prison, or something like that? How are you going to handle that? What if you were kidnapped like Anna was, or if men broke into the clubhouse with guns in the middle of the night? That happened to Faye. I’m not saying I don’t think you’re a strong woman, because you are, but the thought of something like that happening to you makes me crazy. I’m stuck between wanting to protect you, every inch of you, and the love for my club. I will never leave the Wind Dragons, they’re my family, but if you were hurt or something because of my lifestyle, I wouldn’t fuckin’ handle that well either.”
“Well you should have thought of all this before you made me fall head over fucking heels in love with you!” I snap. “I’m trying here, Tracker. I’m telling you that no matter what, I know your soul and I will never turn my back on you. Why can’t you do the same for me?”
His eyes widen, as if he never thought of it that way.
“Come here,” he demands.
“Come where?” I ask.
His mouth twitches. “My lap.”
I straddle him, my palms on his cheeks. “Now what?”
“Now kiss me, Lana,” he says. “Wanna be inside you but that will have to wait until we get back to the clubhouse.”
I kiss him like it’s the last kiss we’ll ever have.
TWENTY-ONE
LISTENING to “Live Without It” by Killing Heidi, I bro
wse through my clothes looking for something to wear to Rake’s birthday. When there’s a knock at the door, I open it to see Faye standing there. I’m not sure how she knows where my house is, but I don’t bother asking.
“Hey,” I say in surprise.
“Get in the car, we’re going shopping.”
We share knowing smiles.
An hour later, I’m watching Faye try on outfits. When she walks out in an extremely low-cut black number, my eyes widen. “Holy shit.”
“Just the reaction I was going for,” she says in approval.
“I can almost see your nipples,” I decide to point out, blinking slowly.
She looks down. “So you can.”
Thinking that meant she wasn’t going to get it, I’m surprised when she says, “It’s perfect.”
“But . . .”
“There are going to be strippers there,” she says. “No matter what we wear we’re still going to be wearing more.”
“Ummm, Faye—”
“Ohhh, you should try this on!” she says excitedly, grabbing a cute royal-blue dress. “This color will look gorgeous on you.”
She then proceeds to grab a few other dresses for me to try.
“Unless . . .” she says to herself, glancing at me thoughtfully. “Can I give you a biker-chick makeover?”
She laughs at whatever expression she sees on my face. “You should have seen me when I first came here. I was so conservative because I was brought up that way. Now I just wear whatever I like, professional for work, but for parties like this you get to play up a little and go as daring as you want to.”
“How daring are we talking here?” I ask in a voice full of skepticism.
I get a slow spreading smile in response. “Let’s see what we can come up with.”
I gulp.
* * *
Tight leather pants.
A black crop top—which looks more like a bra than a shirt if you ask me—and heels higher than I’ve ever worn.
Yet . . .
I feel strangely sexy. Empowered. The epitome of an old lady.
I suddenly realize that the tables have turned, and now it’s me wanting him to be in deep. I could see that he was considering us breaking up, for my own good or whatever, but I wasn’t about to let that happen.
“You look amazing,” Faye gasps. “Tracker is going to die. His penis is going to explode.”
“Okay, I hope neither of those things happen,” I tell her, giving her a wide-eyed look.
She grins and goes back to applying her makeup. “So who organized this whole deal for Rake?”
“I helped,” she admits. “He told me what he wanted. I believe his exact words were ‘I want to turn the clubhouse into a sex club.’ ”
“Only he would say that,” I grumble, applying some bloodred lipstick and some mascara. Teasing my hair a little, I stare at my reflection, then glance at Faye from the corner of my eye.
“I’m ready to make tonight my bitch.”
She laughs, poking her eye with mascara. “Dammit!”
I laugh harder. “Shit.”
“Great, now I’m going to have one red eye,” she complains, pointing the mascara tube at me. “Your fault.”
“I’m sure one of the men has some Clear Eyes,” I joke.
“Are you drinking tonight?” she asks. “We should make some cocktails or something.”
“I’ll have a drink or two,” I say, then turn to her iPod as the song changes. “You like One Direction?”
Her eyes narrow. “Don’t judge me.”
My lip twitches. “No judgment here.”
Amusement fills her pretty eyes. “I like you, Lana.”
“I like you too.”
“We should have a threesome.”
I drop my phone on the floor.
“You should see your face!” she calls out, hooting.
I’m beginning to think there are two sides to Faye. One, the scary biker wife who can kick ass, and two, the immature girl who was never going to grow up. I found myself liking both of them.
“What’s going on in there?” Tracker calls out, hovering by the door, which we’d locked from the inside.
Faye rolls her eyes. “Loosen the reins a little, Tracker, Jesus. What could I possibly be doing to her in here that you have to worry about?”
“I’m not worried,” he says, then pauses. “Maybe I just want to see.”
“There’s nothing to see here, you pervert! Except your woman looking hotter than any woman you’ve ever seen in your life.”
Silence.
Then banging.
“Lana, open the door!”
“I can’t,” I call back. “I’m naked.”
I hear him curse. “You two aren’t spending any more time together.”
Faye and I share a glance, then burst out laughing.
“Is Anna pissed she can’t come tonight?” she asks once we calm down.
“Yes,” I reply, shaking my head. “But who wants to see their brother do God knows what? I think she said she might drop by before everything gets too crazy, then leave with Arrow.”
“That’s a good idea,” she says, pausing. “We could probably set up a safe area and sneak her in without Rake knowing.”
“I approve of this plan.”
“I’ll message her and let her know,” she says, pressing together her lips. “I like this.”
“I do too. If Rake finds out, he’s going to kill us though. I know he really doesn’t want Anna to see whatever it is he has planned for tonight.”
“Rake will be busy,” Faye says, sliding her feet into her black strappy heels. “We have an hour, let’s go make some drinks.”
As soon as we unlock the door and step out, I see Tracker stalking toward me from where he was leaning against the wall, talking to Sin.
“Fuck,” he mouths, his gaze roaming over every inch of me. He then adjusts himself, right there in front of everyone.
I hear Faye making explosion sounds.
Closing the space between us, he grips my chin in his hand and stares deeply into my eyes. “You’re a fantasy, you know that? Now we’re going back into the bedroom because I’m so hard I’m about to come in my pants.”
More explosion sounds from Faye.
She and Sin whistle, and Tracker lifts me in the air, throws me over his shoulder, and drags me back into the room. He doesn’t even bother to close the door, leaving it open as he lies me down on the bed, his mouth already on mine.
“Close the door,” I growl.
“No,” he replies. “No time.”
“Tracker!”
“No one can see anything,” he says, kissing my neck. “I’m covering your body. And if anyone walked in here I’d kill them. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper back, trusting him.
He slides down my leather pants to my knees then pushes my thighs apart as far as they can go. Pulling down his own pants, he pulls out his hard cock and rubs it against my entrance.
“This is going to be hard and fast, Lana,” he grits out.
“Yes,” I moan, so turned on right now that I can barely see straight. “Fuck me, Tracker.”
He slowly pushes himself inside me until he is balls-deep, then pulls out and slams back in harder. Kissing me hungrily, his tongue mimics his cock, thrusting in and out in a sensual rhythm. My fingers digging into his scalp, I urge him on, not wanting him to hold back. It feels so good that I can turn him on like this with just one glance at me, that he wants me this much. A woman could get used to being this appreciated, giving this much attention.
“So good, baby,” he moans. “You feel so damn perfect. You fit me like a fuckin’ glove.”
I squeeze myself around him, inciting another moan. “Harder.”
“You get what you’re given, Lana,” he replies, biting down on my earlobe. “Don’t think you’re in charge just ’cause you come out looking like a wet dream.”
I come screaming.
Tracker soon follows
, his body jerking, his face contorting into a sexy mask of pleasure. Kissing my forehead, my cheeks, and my nose, he finally places a gentle, sweet kiss on my mouth.
“Party start without me?” I hear Rake call out through the open door.
“Get out of here if you want to live,” Tracker yells back, with no heat in his tone. Instead, his eyes are locked with mine, full of a mixture of tenderness, possessiveness, and satisfaction.
“Lana,” he says quietly.
“Yeah?”
“When you walk around tonight in these sexy-ass leather pants, and every man is watching you, picturing you just like this, except under them, just remember this moment. You’re mine to sink into, mine to pleasure, to love, to fuck.”
I roll my eyes and ask in a dry tone, “Why don’t you just pee on me?”
“I put my come inside you instead,” he says, winking at me, playful Tracker back. “That’s going to have to do.”
“Tracker?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Close the damn door.”
TWENTY-TWO
RAKE is sitting on a chair, getting a lap dance from two naked, very flexible women. Anna made an appearance but left after an hour when she saw him making out with two women—
different ones than the ones on his lap now. I would have done the same. I helped Faye set out some food and drinks and am now sitting on Tracker’s lap, watching the craziness around us. Faye is dirty dancing with Sin, while the other men in the MC are enjoying the women and the alcohol.
“Are these Toxic girls?” I ask, looking around the room.
“I think some are,” he says, rubbing his hand down my thigh. “Some of them I haven’t seen before.”
I choose to ignore that comment.
I don’t know why Rake didn’t want to just have his party at Toxic, because the clubhouse looked like a strip club right now anyway.
“Lana, come dance!” Faye calls out when she loses her dance partner. Getting off Tracker’s lap, I dance with her for a few songs. When I turn back, Tracker has moved from his spot.
Tracker's End Page 16
