by June Belfie
“Alice, John, and Benny,” she said aloud. She glanced at their ages again, and wondered how he managed a three-year-old. Of course, Amish families always stepped in and helped those in need. She was sure this was no exception. Perhaps he had remarried by now as happened quite often amongst the Amish people. They looked upon marriage differently than the English and though they tried to marry for love, sometimes it was more important to look at the situation and the character of the future mate. He obviously could use a wife.
She suddenly thought of her own situation and spoke out loud again. “And I obviously could use a husband.” It actually startled her to hear those words. A feeling of guilt washed over her as she thought of her Jeremiah. But he was in a better place. It was the living now who must take precedence in her life. Her children. Especially her boys. Zach was wonderful and tried so hard to be a father as well as uncle to them, but he had five of his own to look after. How much could he do?
As she placed the article back on the refrigerator door and laid the small magnet to hold it, she heard the kitchen door swing open. The boys came traipsing in, followed by Rachel, dragging her jacket.
“When are we going to Onkel Zach’s, Mamm?” Mark asked loudly, as he threw his jacket on the floor.
“Mark, pick that up this minute! As soon as you all have a snack, I’ll walk you over.”
“Mamm, we’re old enough to go by ourselves,” Luke reminded her.
“Jah, I know it, but I want to visit with your aenti.”
“Mamm,” Rachel said as she reached for a fresh molasses cookie, “Can we do something special later without my bruders?”
“Like what, honey?”
“I don’t know. Maybe do a puzzle?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Puzzles are boring,” Matthew said with a frown.
“Girl stuff,” Mark said, nodding in agreement. He reached for his third cookie.
“You shouldn’t have too many,” Anna reminded him. “You know they eat early.”
“Are we staying for supper?” Rachel asked her mother.
“I guess we can, if they ask,” Anna replied.
“You will then. They always want people to stay,” Luke said as he opened the refrigerator for the bottle of fresh milk.
“Save some for your bruders,” Anna said. “Barbie’s not producing as much lately.”
“She’s getting old,” Luke said. “Frisky is, too. He shouldn’t be called ‘Frisky’ anymore. He drags.”
“Jah, he should be called Lumpy or Draggy,” Matthew said, grinning.
“That’s mean,” Rachel said, her lips turned down.
“It ain’t mean—it’s true!”
“I think it’s mean, don’t you, Mamm?”
“They’re just joking around, Rachel. Don’t take it too serious-like.” Anna lifted the bucket of water and started heading for the door to dump it. Then she looked over at Matthew. “Why don’t you dump this for me, Sohn. My back is sore today.”
“Let Mark do it!”
“I did it last time!”
“Buwe! Stop your arguing. You’d better behave for Onkel Zach.”
“He doesn’t care,” Matt said.
“Jah, he does,” Luke protested. “He’s always giving us extra chores when we act up.”
“That’s what I should do,” Anna said as she headed for the door with the bucket.
Luke put his hand up to stop her. “I’ll do it, Mamm. My lazy bruders will drive us all crazy.”
Anna couldn’t help but smile. “Oh jah, you’re right about that,” she said as she handed over the bucket.
Eventually they all made it over to Zach’s place. Anna and her daughter were invited to stay for supper and it was almost seven before they returned to their home. It was getting darker out every evening and Anna secretly dreaded the coming of winter. Her depression always grew worse in the cold and darkness of the winter months. Perhaps she would take a trip with the children during their Christmas break. Her very best friend—ever—had married last year and moved to Holmes County, Ohio. She had just given birth to a little girl. How she’d love to see her and it would be something special she could do with her children.
Before even suggesting it, she’d have to go over her finances. It had been a good harvest, but she’d pray about it first and then make a decision.
They’d have Christmas with her family first, of course. Her parents, Isaiah and Rose would be upset not to have everyone together for the special holiday. And she knew her own children would be heartsick to be away on that wonderful-gut day.
Chapter Seventeen
Beth reached for her heaviest shawl before leaving the house. Even though it was only early November, the temperatures had dropped into the forties and because she was thin, she felt the chill more than others.
Her mother handed her a list of items to purchase. “Now, don’t forget the lemons on the way back. I’m making lemon sponge pie for your daed’s birthday.”
“I won’t forget.”
“Gut. I think I have enough of everything else. Are you going to invite Josiah to our party?”
“I guess I can stop by and see if he’s available. He may have to come late, if his business is open.”
“That’s fine. We can work around it. Your daddi and mammi will be here early.”
“How many do you expect Friday?”
“Goodness me, I have no idea. I invite everyone I see. You never know. I’m going to make six pies to be sure.”
“No cake this year?”
“Your daed said not to.”
“I won’t be gone long, Mamm. It’s too cold out.”
“It’s a shame the open market is closed now.”
“Jah, that was always fun.” Beth made her way out the door and headed for the waiting buggy, which her father had prepared for her excursion.
“Be careful, Beth. The damp leaves are slippery. It made wet last night.”
“I’ll be careful,” she said as she climbed into the driver’s seat.
Her father gave her a huge grin. “Guess you have to go in town ’cause of my gebottsdaag huh?” he asked.
She laughed. “Goodness, Daed, you think your birthday is so important that I have to go all the way to Lititz?”
“It’s not that far.”
“Well, don’t ask too many questions. You know I’ve had strict orders to keep everything a secret.”
“Jah. I’m sure of that.” He patted Winnie, their faithful horse, on the rump and Beth turned the buggy toward the road.
It was slippery. She took her time and sang quietly under her breath as she headed to town. Once there, she parked where she always did—outside the main part of town—and walked the rest of the way. As she headed toward Wilbur’s Chocolate Store to purchase her father’s favorite fudge, she heard her name called. Goodness, doesn’t that man ever work? she asked herself as she heard Randy Gordon’s wonderful deep voice.
She stopped and turned. A huge grin spread across his face, causing a deep dimple to show up in his chin. Gorgeous man.
“What brings you to Lititz?” he asked as he caught up to her. They stood off to the side of the concrete walk to converse.
“Just doing some shopping for my father’s birthday. He loves the pretzels at the bakery here and of course, I’ll stop at the chocolate place.”
“I was just headed there myself.”
“Oh? Are you having a birthday as well?”
“No, I treat myself about once a month to some of their Wilbur Buds.”
“Oh jah, they are gut!”
He laughed gently. “I’ve missed you and your cute way of talking.”
“Jah?”
“It’s hard because you have no phone. How about if we go for coffee after we purchase our chocolate?”
“I guess that would be all right.” In spite of her desire not to feel anything for this man, she felt her heart was doing flips. It was probably the ‘forbidden fruit’ syndrome kicking in.
/> After being seated at a small table in one of the local restaurants and ordering coffee, Randy sat back in his chair and looked at her intently, without uttering a word.
She could feel her pulse beat faster. “What? What’s wrong? Why are you staring?” She laid her forearms on the table and cocked her head.
“You’re so lovely. So pure looking. Is it true what they say about Amish women?”
“I have no idea. What do they say?”
“That under that cool exterior…oh, never mind. You wouldn’t want to hear.”
“I’m curious. What’s under our cool exterior?”
He reached over and put both of his hands on hers. “I’d love to find out. We have to see each other again. Somewhere in private—where we can talk.”
Her brows went up. “We can talk here.”
“But it’s not private. Look around. Anyone could eaves drop, if they wanted.”
She moved her hands away and placed them on her lap. “So? We’re not talking about anything that couldn’t be overheard.”
“Look, Beth. I’m infatuated with you. I think of you a lot. It’s frustrating not to be able to call you or see you when I want. Are you so sure you have to stay Amish?”
“My, that’s a strange thing to ask.” All her instincts told her to get out. Not to listen. Why instead was she feeling excitement? It reminded her of St. Paul warning of doing things you don’t want to do and not doing the things you should do. Was she so shallow as to be flattered by an Englisher’s pretty words? Was she that naïve to believe him? Surely not! “I think we should talk about something else.”
The waitress placed their coffees on the table and left to take care of another customer.
“I understand. You don’t trust me.” He looked down at his mug and slowly stirred in some cream.
“It’s not that—”
“Sure it is. You think all English guys are the same. Out for one thing.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. It hurts.”
He certainly seemed genuine. Could he be such a good actor that he could fool her into thinking he was to be trusted, when indeed he was planning something immoral? “I don’t want to hurt you,” she found herself saying.
“Then accept an invitation from me. Meet me late afternoon one day next week, and we’ll have dinner together and maybe relax afterward at my apartment. That’s all. Just time to be together without distraction.”
“I don’t know.” She knew she shouldn’t, but the words remained stuck in her throat and mind.
“Please say yes.”
“Maybe.”
“I’d like to take you to a really good restaurant in Lancaster. I could pick you up first and—”
“Oh no, not at my home. My parents would be furious with me.”
“I thought you Amish had a time of Rumspring— or something where you were allowed to do what you pleased.”
“Before we take our kneeling vows, we have a time where we can try different things, but…”
“You’ve taken them already.”
“Jah.”
“Which means?”
“I’ve accepted the Amish lifestyle as my own. I’m part of the congregation now. We take it very seriously.”
“Is it a sin to just go out with an English guy?”
“I guess not, if that’s all I do.”
“So what’s the big deal? We’ll just go out.”
“I don’t want to get involved.”
“That’s sweet,” he said as he reached across the table and touched her cheek. “We don’t have to get involved. It will be just a friendship. A special friendship.”
“I guess there’s no real harm in that. My mamm has an English friend. No one seems to find fault with that. I’ll come. Day would be better though. I don’t like driving my buggy at night.”
“I’ll take a personal vacation day. I have one coming to me anyway. What day would suit you best?”
“Saturday is the only day I have off. I’m teaching, you know.
“That’s right. I’d forgotten. I’m sure I can get next Saturday off.”
“Don’t you have to check with your boss?”
“He’ll be fine about it. We’re good friends.”
“Oh, that helps,” she said with a smile. “This is gut coffee.”
“Like the one I sold you at market?”
“Almost as gut. I’ll try to wear my English clothes Saturday so you won’t be embarrassed.”
“That wouldn’t embarrass me, but I think you look a lot cuter with your hair down and regular clothes. It’s up to you though, Beth.”
“I’ll think about it. I may just bring clothes with me and make up my mind when I get here.”
“Sounds like a plan. Tell me about your students? How many do you have?”
She proceeded to talk about her days teaching and entertained him with some of the antics that the children pulled. It was exhilarating to talk to such an interesting—and interested—person. He really seemed to enjoy her stories and laughed at her silly jokes. They spent an hour together before she told him she had to get home. As they walked out of the restaurant together, he reminded her about their date. They planned to meet in front of the bank around noon.
“And if I have a change of plan?” She asked.
“If you have access to a phone, here’s my card,” he said.
She already had one, but she took it anyway. “I guess I can find a phone. My neighbors have one in their barn for emergencies. What if you change your mind?” she asked.
“Won’t happen.” He gave her a pat on her arm. “Until then.”
“Jah. See you Saturday.”
All the way home she admonished herself for accepting, until she finally decided to call it off entirely. It was stupid of her to see him again. There was absolutely no future for a real relationship.
Josiah Yoder was just as fine a man as Randy. Okay, so she didn’t get chills when he touched her or dream about his laughter, but that was just adolescent behavior. Surely, she was more mature than that. Jah, she’d make a trip over to the Johnson’s place in a couple days and leave a message on his machine—if he had one. She hoped he did, because it would be easier to cancel if she didn’t hear his voice. Such foolishness! Teen-age thinking! She snapped at the horse to make him go faster. Wet leaves or not, it was time to go home and be Amish!
Chapter Eighteen
Rose put the broom back in the small closet by the refrigerator and turned toward her daughter. “Anna, why would you want to go away all of a sudden?”
“I miss my friend, Mamm; you know that. And now she has a boppli. Besides, it might be gut for the kids to have a change of scenery. This whole thing has been hard on them, too.”
“You should leave the kinner with us, Anna, if you’re looking for a change. It might be gut for you to get a real break. The kinner have been hard on you. I’ve watched you getting skinny. You’ll blow away in a gut wind.”
Anna giggled. “I haven’t lost that much weight. Would you be able to handle them for a few days, really? I sure could use some quiet.”
“Jah, Daed and I would love to have them stay with us, or we could go to your house so they’d have all their things there. Your daed could come back to feed the animals and check on the house every day.”
Anna got up from her chair at the kitchen table and went over to hug her mother. “Oh, it would be so wonderful-gut to see Dinah again and her new boppli. Do you think the kinner will be upset to have me away?”
“Nee, they love to be with their dawdi. And Rachel can help me bake cookies. She enjoys that. When would you go?”
“After Christmas, while the kinner are still home from school. Maybe three nights.”
“The weather might be bad.”
“Then I won’t go, is all. I’ll check with our driver and see if he’s available.”
“Let’s just make sure Daed is okay with it—and your kinner.”
“Mamm
, I’ve prayed about it and so far I think it’s a gut plan. I really have missed Dinah. We write to each other faithfully, but it’s not like sitting together and talking.”
“Jah, you’re right. Besides, you need something new to think about. Now before you go home, let me read the list of people coming to Daed’s birthday party Friday. Maybe I forgot someone.” Rose reached for her notebook and she and her daughter sat down at the table. Anna noticed Josiah’s name.
“So Beth is interested in Josiah.”
“I’m not sure I can go that far, but he sure seems smitten with her. When he’s here he can barely take his eyes off her.”
“And Beth? Is she all gaga over him?”
Rose sighed. “Your schwester isn’t gaga over anyone. I don’t know what’s wrong with that girl.”
“Maybe she’s just not ready to settle down. Now that she’s teaching, she may like her independence.”
“It’s not right, is all. A maed her age should be settled down with kinner.”
Anna pushed her teacup to the side and reached for her mother’s hand. “We can’t live people’s lives for them, Mamm. She may never marry. It isn’t the end of the world, if she doesn’t.”
“Well, it sure isn’t the Amish way. I can’t imagine not having a family.”
“People are different. Sometimes I think she shouldn’t have taken her vows when she did. She’s too interested in the English world if you ask me.”
“Well, she took her vows, so that’s that.” Rose moved her hand and stood up to return to the sink where she rinsed out the empty teapot. “At least you have a family.”
“No husband, though.”
“I’m sorry,” Rose said, turning back to her daughter. “You won’t be single forever, dear. Gott will bring a gut man into your life, I’m sure and certain of that.”
“It’s too soon, Mamm.”
“Maybe, but if you had a chance to marry a gut strong Amish man, would you consider it?”
“It would depend on how he treated the kinner. They are my first concern.”
“Jah, of course. But if he was a gut man and treated them with kindness?”
Anna shook her head. “There isn’t anyone in the picture, so I can’t answer that one. I’d better leave now. The kinner will be home soon from school. Maybe I’ll pick them up on my way home. It’s getting pretty cold out. We may get snow early this year.”
