by June Belfie
“I guess so. Yeah, I suppose there is a God. Someday I’ll get myself a Bible and check it out.”
“Oh jah, gut idea.”
They finished up and Beth started to collect the dishes before he stopped her. “Let’s spend the last few minutes together by the fire again. I’ll clean up later.”
“I should help you.” She turned toward the table to retrieve the glasses.
“Please. I don’t know when we’ll be together again.”
“Okay.” She allowed him to take her hand and lead her to the sofa. They sat together and studied the flames.
“It’s pretty,” she said softly.
He moved closer. “May I just kiss you one time?”
“I…I don’t think so.”
“Would it be so wrong?”
“I…well…I guess one kiss is okay.”
He put his one hand behind her head and the other around her waist and drew her closer to him. She was sure he could hear her heart beating wildly, but he said nothing. His eyes closed and she felt his lips against hers. First gentle and then more firm. It lasted a long time. Too long. She felt way too emotional. Then she withdrew and sat back, breathing quickly. “Oh my.”
He smiled and ran his hand through her hair. “Thank you, Beth. It was wonderful.”
“I’ve never been kissed before. By a man,” she added. “My mamm used to kiss me—”
“Shhh. Don’t talk. Let me just think of you the way you are at this moment. So beautiful. So pure.”
Goodness, he had a way with words. Was this love she felt? Or God forbid—lust?
“I…I think I’ll skip the ice cream.” She rose and crossed her arms over her chest. She suddenly felt so vulnerable. “I must go change.”
“Must you?”
“Jah. Really.” She turned and walked hurriedly to the bathroom. After locking the door, she looked at her reflection. Her coloring was vivid. Her hair was mussed. She didn’t like the thoughts going through her head. She no longer felt safe. It wasn’t fear of Randy, but fear of her own feelings. She would never, ever be alone with this man again. It was far too dangerous.
As she tucked her hair under her kapp she returned to her Amish thoughts. This is who she really was. Amish through and through. The English world was filled with temptation and danger. It was a world she wanted no part of.
As she made her way to the door, Randy followed her. Before he opened it, he touched the tip of her nose with his finger. “My sweet Amish maiden.”
“We can’t do this again, Randy. You know that.”
He merely shook his head, his mouth drawn.
She left him standing by the door and walked out to the sidewalk, too flustered and too sad to turn to him. She would never forget their kiss. It may have spoiled her for any other man. She regretted allowing it with her whole being. It should have been reserved for her future husband. Gott forgive me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Beth was surprised one afternoon in mid-November to be greeted at the schoolhouse by Josiah. He pulled up in his buggy and after tethering it to a post, made his way over to the door.
“What brings you here?” she asked as she shoved some paperwork into her top drawer and sat back at her desk.
“That’s a friendly greeting,” he said with a crooked smile. “I haven’t seen you since your daed’s party. How have you been?”
“Fine. I’ll be glad when we break for Thanksgiving though. The kinner are getting awful restless.”
“Only a week to go.” He sat awkwardly on one of the older student’s desk seats and removed his hat. “I actually was hoping to see Lydia before she left for the day.”
Beth hated to admit it, but disappointment filled her heart at his comment. She thought she was over men—entirely.
“Too late. She actually left early today. She’s coming down with a cold.”
“I see.” He didn’t rise, which she expected, since his mission could not be accomplished.
“I wanted to see if she could come in early on Saturday because we have to catch up on the bookkeeping. She missed work last week.”
“I wouldn’t count on her. She sounded miserable today. Coughed down to her toes.” Surprising herself, she added, “Is it something I could help with? I’m free Saturday.”
He grinned and leaned forward. “Would you? That would be real gut of you.”
“Not a big deal. I’m sure I could handle it.”
“It would mean you’d have to handle the showroom, too.”
“And you have reservations about that?”
“Nee, of course not. I just mentioned it so you’d be prepared.”
“I suppose you’d have to show me the ropes first.”
“Jah. If you’re not busy now, would you want to stop by on your way home? It wouldn’t hurt for you to know how—even if Lydia is well enough to come in Saturday. I’ll check at her home later and see how she’s feeling”
“I guess I could take the time. I’m done here. Let me bank the fire and—”
“I’ll do it for you while you get ready.”
“I am ready. All right. Go ahead. It is a guy thing, isn’t it?”
He laughed aloud. “That’s not what went through my mind. I’m sure you’re more than capable of handling everything yourself. Just thought I’d offer my services.”
She felt foolish for jumping on the poor man for just doing what men do. “I’m sorry, Josiah. I didn’t mean to sound so…so touchy.”
“I guess things didn’t end on too gut a note at your daed’s party. I’m sorry if I offended you. Forgive me?”
“Do I have a choice?” she responded, allowing her lips to turn up. “Don’t forget I’m Amish. We forgive.”
“I’m glad,” he said as he reached for a small wrought-iron shovel to bank the coals. “It’s beginning to snow already.”
“Oh jah? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Just fine flakes, but we’re supposed to get another five inches or so before morning.”
“We’ve had a lot of snow this year,” she said as she removed a woolen cape from a hook.
He replaced the fire tool and closed the swinging door to the stove. They locked up the schoolhouse and she followed his buggy till they arrived at his house. He took care of the horses and led her inside. A kerosene heater sat in the middle of the showroom and kept the place slightly warm, though she kept her cape wrapped around her.
After lighting several lamps, he set them around for light. It had grown dark already as the winter days had become shorter. “Your folks won’t worry, will they?”
“Not for a while. By the time they would be concerned, I’ll be home.” She looked around the showroom. “You’ve added a lot of cabinetry since I saw it last. Looks nice.”
“Denki. Come see my work area. I’ve added shelving to hold standard size cabinet doors.”
She followed him into his workshop. He had already expanded it by enlarging the back of the house by at least a thousand square feet.
“Whew! When did all this happen?”
“A couple weeks ago, I put the word out and a group of guys came and helped me. It only took one full day to add this. It’s great!”
“I’ll say! And business? Still improving?”
“You wouldn’t believe it, Beth. I’m getting new orders every day. Gott has blessed me.”
“You’ll need someone full time soon.”
“I’m already putting out feelers. Lydia usually comes by every afternoon after school’s out to see if she can help. She’s a dear.”
Ohhhh, that hurts. “She never mentioned it.”
“Really? I’m surprised. I think it’s too much for her though—teaching and all.”
“You know, Josiah, I might consider taking the job—if you’re interested. I’m getting bored teaching already and I think Lydia would do a better job as head teacher than me.”
His brows rose. “Seriously? Has she ever mentioned wanting to teach full-time?”
“Um, I
’m not sure. Maybe.”
“Well, you would be my first choice, of course, but I don’t want to—”
“If that’s true, then let me talk it over with Lydia. If she’s not interested in teaching full-time, then so be it.”
“Maybe I should ask her first, Beth. I sure don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
“Oh, of course not.”
“I can talk to her today when I stop by to see how she’s doing.”
“Maybe she attracts customers. She is real pretty.”
He looked over and hesitated before responding. “I don’t think pretty matters. Do you?”
Does that mean he thinks I’m not?
“With some it might. Like the English.”
“It’s more important that a person knows his job and is conscientious.”
“And she is, no doubt.”
“Jah. Very. She talks a lot about the kinner at school though, so maybe she would prefer teaching. We’ll soon find out.”
They walked back into the front room and he showed her the catalogues and the pricing. He told her how to take an order and chart out the floor plans. “Of course, I’m right in the back most of the time, so if you need help, that’s not a problem. If it’s a large order, I’d want to add my input anyway. It’s just a nuisance to be interrupted for minor jobs or just curious people.”
“I can understand that. I’d probably have a ton of questions in the beginning, but I’ve been told I learn quick-like.”
“I’m sure you do. We need to sit and talk again, like we used to. It’s just I’ve been too busy lately.”
“Well, if I work here, we’ll have plenty of time to talk. I’d even like to learn to work on the wood with you. Maybe you can teach me how to stain.”
Excitement was building on his part, as well as her’s. He instructed her on the finer points of cabinet-making and pulled out color charts of finished products.
Hopefully Lydia would want to take over as lead teacher. Beth was sure the board would be okay with it. She had already warned them she wasn’t going to last long as head teacher. She hoped she’d have more patience when she had her own children—if she ever did. Her nephews were the most trying. If Anna really knew how disruptive they could be, she’d be mortified. Beth spent more time disciplining than teaching with her young relatives.
It was dark out now and the snow had increased in volume. When Josiah realized how dangerous it had become, he decided to skip going over to Lydia’s and just follow Beth back to her place to make sure she got home safely. At first she resisted, but when he mentioned doing that instead of stopping at Lydia’s, she accepted his offer.
He lit the buggy lanterns for her and led the horse to the road. Then he went back and harnessed his own buggy and followed her out to the road. It was difficult proceeding. The thickening layer of snow made the macadam slippery, so Beth let the horse go at his own pace, which was slow and deliberate.
When they finally arrived at her place, her mother met them at the door. At first she looked upset, but then she invited Josiah in for supper. He refused, fearing he’d be unable to return to his own house if he waited much longer. He appeared pleased by her offer though, and she wrapped up a chicken sandwich for him to take home with him.
After he left, her mother smiled over at her. “I see you two are friends again. I’m glad.”
“Jah, I don’t like rifts between friends.”
“Maybe you’ll become more than friends, Beth. Now before you dispute that, call your Daed. He’s in the bedroom. It’s time to eat.”
Beth nodded and went to the stairwell to call up. Jah, maybe things would work out for her and the Amish man. It sure would help to get her mind off a certain Englishman.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The snowstorm turned into a blizzard, leaving a total of two feet on the ground in Pennsylvania’s Lancaster County. With the winds, steep drifting took place and everyone knew to keep their children home from school. It was not a time for man or beast to venture out. Only the necessities were accomplished, which meant the animals were still cared for and the fires were kept burning. If it weren’t for the bitter cold, Anna would have enjoyed it more. She wouldn’t allow her children to play outdoors for fear of frostbite. The boys complained though Luke was allowed out to milk Barbie twice each day. Their constant complaining didn’t help with her raw nerves, but she had to hold everything together for the sake of her own sanity. Anna took care of the chickens and collected a few eggs, though the layers seemed to be on strike. Too cold for them as well.
Anna started a fire in a small woodstove in the back of the chicken house, which had been put in by Jeremiah one cold winter. Her boys had piled split wood on the side of the chicken house, which had been a major accomplishment, considering the struggle she had getting the boys to listen to her instructions.
Once back in the house, she removed her knit gloves which had become wet from the snow and were nearly frozen, clinging to her blueish fingers. She laid them near the coal stove and sat on the floor to be near the source of the heat. Rachel dragged her blanket over to her mother and curled up next to her. “The buwe are mean again, Mamm. What can I do to make them nice to me?”
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to them.”
“It doesn’t help. They’re still mean. I think they need a gut spanking.”
Anna smiled at her daughter. “Jah, I think you’re right. I just don’t have the energy.”
“Onkel Zach has energy.”
“He’s not their daed, though.”
“Aenti Lottie says you should get married so we’d all have a daed.”
“Aenti Lottie shouldn’t talk like that in front of you.” Annie felt resentment build, a feeling she tried hard to eliminate since she knew it was out of love that her sister-in-law had those thoughts.
“Why?”
“It’s personal, Rachel.”
“What does personal mean?”
“Ach, just that it’s my decision to marry or not to, no one else’s. How would you feel about having a new dat?”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t want a daed who spanks hard.”
“Nee, nor would I want a man like that.”
“If he laughed a lot, it might be okay. Maybe he could make you laugh, too.”
“Jah, I don’t laugh much anymore, do I sweetheart? I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.”
“Okay. Maybe I’ll tickle you,” she added as she turned to face her mother and put her fingers on her mother’s waist.
“OOOoo, stop!” Anna said, laughing, as they rolled on the floor together, tickling each other. The boys stopped arguing long enough to join in and for the first time in a long time, there was the sound of happy laughter throughout their home.
Later Anna and Rachel made cookie dough and the boys were allowed to decorate their own row with colored sugar. Aside from extra decorations landing on the clean linoleum, the boys seemed less restless and actually set up a game of Chutes and Ladders. After about a half hour passed, Luke resigned from the game, announcing it was too babyish for him, which brought on wails from his younger brothers and pronouncement of his being proud—probably the worst thing you could call a young Amish boy.
Anna counted the days till her planned trip to Ohio. She had the driver lined up. She prayed nightly that the good Lord wouldn’t let anything get in the way. No illness – no bad weather – nothing! She really needed a break from her kinner.
Toward evening, her brother, Zack, arrived with bags of food.
“Oh, mercy, Bruder, you didn’t have to do all this. We have food enough.”
“Well Lottie wasn’t sure, so she made extra. I’m sure you can use it.” He set the bags on the counter as the children dove in.
Mark pulled out a Ziploc bag full of fudge. “Yippee! She makes the best!”
Matthew reached over to grab it from his brother. “Hey, you have to share!”
“Buwe! Enough!” Zach said, using a louder voice than was his norm. T
he boys continued to play tug of war until the bag actually split apart and the fudge fell to the ground.
“Now see what you’ve done!” Anna cried out as she scooped to pick up the candy before it caused any further damage.”
“You go up to your rooms,” she said sternly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zach’s jaw clench. She knew from the past he would only tolerate so much from children.
“Go! Quickly, or I’ll have to punish you worse,” she said as they scurried toward the staircase. Their pace slowed with each step until they heard their uncle heading their way. Then they made a beeline for their bedrooms.
“Anna, they are totally out of hand.” Zach said with an edge to his voice.
“You think I don’t know that?” Her voice cracked as she fired into his eyes. “It’s not like I don’t try! They just don’t listen to me.”
“I’m going to take this into my own hands. I’ll talk to a widower I know from the next district. He has two kinner of his own. It’s time you had a husband. For heaven’s sake, it doesn’t have to be romantic!”
Anna discarded the fudge in the trash and sat on one of the kitchen chairs, her head and shoulders slumped in defeat. “Who is he? Do I know him?”
“I doubt it. Ezekiel Detweiler.”
“I know some Detweilers, but none by that name. How old do you think he is?”
“Does it really matter? His kids are teenagers, so he can’t be too old.”
“Jah, it does matter. I don’t want an old man. I just turned thirty. I bet he’s in his forties.”
“That doesn’t make him old.”
“I don’t know. I’m getting desperate. Wait until I return from Ohio. Maybe I’ll get the rest I need and come back with more assertiveness. You never know.”
He let out a breath and nodded. “In the meantime, I’ll check around. Most of the single men are probably too young.”
“I’m right in the middle, aren’t I? Oh, Zach, I miss my Jeremiah so much.” She put her head in her hands, but fought back tears. What was the point? She’d already shed enough tears for two lifetimes. If nothing else, she did feel her emotions strengthening. It was God, she was sure. She prayed so often, He was probably tired of hearing her.
