by Jane Price
“I love you Macy.”
Out of the three of us I sure wasn’t expecting her to look the most surprised. She narrowed her eyes.
“I sense a but somewhere here though.”
“I love Micah, too.” He said. The words hung between the three of us like a heavy fog. Macy’s eyes flickered over to me, then back to Brenn.
“You and Micah?”
“Yes.”
She nodded her head, but said, “I’m sorry, Brenn. I just am not seeing this very clearly. Are you ending things with me?”
“No, that’s not what I want. I didn’t want this to be a shock. And I don’t want this to change things between us, but I’m not an idiot. I know that we can’t go back to the way it was, but I’m hoping this won’t ruin us. I never anticipated for things to go so far, otherwise I would have been upfront about this to begin with.
I’ve never hid my relationship with Micah, but at the time it didn’t seem like something that I needed to tell you about. And part of me wonders that, after things started getting serious with us, I put off telling you because I feared I would lose you.”
“I still don’t see where I fit in here.” She said after a quiet moment, voice soft and eyes wavering between us.
“See, man. I said you were fucking nuts.”
“Stay out of it Micah.” Brenn snapped without even looking at me.
“No, this concerns me just as much as either of you two.” I pushed away from the wall, not willing to be kept out of this.
Macy took a couple steps back, “Maybe I should go.”
Brenn turned away from me, moving to her again.
“No, Macy. Don’t.”
“If she wants to go, let her. You can’t force her to understand.”
“Micah, I love her. She’s having my baby for Christ sake.”
The edges began to fade to black as realization took hold. The baby was Brenn’s. Of course it was. He wanted to be with her, be a family. The rushing was back in my ears and I had to fight to keep the calm in my voice.
“So you’d choose her over me, then?”
“I’m saying that I don’t fucking know. I don’t want to have to choose.”
His heated voice rang in my ears. My fist was through the wall before I had time to think. The pain shot up my hand and radiated through my arm but I gritted my teeth against it. I focused on the pain in my hand instead of the one coursing through my chest.
“Shit.” I heard Brenn mutter from across the room. I glanced over my shoulder to see his back retreating towards the kitchen. I turned to touch my back to the cool wall and slid down to the floor, the fight draining out of me.
Brenn had left the girl behind, standing there watching me. I didn’t know what the fuck to expect, but it sure as hell wasn’t for her to take another step in my direction.
She was calm, her face not giving anything away, as she knelt beside me and held out her hand, palm up. I hesitated. Annoyance flickered across her features and she reached out and grabbed my wrist, pulling it towards her. She made a clucking sound as she examined my hand, but my eyes stayed on her face, absorbed by her focus, her calm in the face of my fury.
Brenn came back in, first aid kit in hand. He walked to her and set in on the floor beside us.
“How is it?” He asked, the fight no longer in his voice either.
“Cut, but not broken.” I glanced down then, not realizing it had been bleeding. “It’ll hurt for a few days but he’ll be fine.”
Brenn nodded and let her work, opening packets of antiseptic wipes and gauze while my hand rested on her leg. I leaned my head back against the wall and let her quick fingers clean and bandage my hand. She worked quietly and quickly, but despite how I had treated her up to this point she was gentle.
When she had finished Macy took her time putting back the items from the kit, cleaning up the bits of garbage. Her eyes were trained on the task at hand, dutifully avoiding Brenn or me. When she had nothing else to keep her hands busy she looked up at me, studied my face as if there was some question she was trying to puzzle out the answer to, before turning to face Brenn. Walking up to him, she put her hands on his chest.
“I just need time.” She said, turning without giving him a chance to reply.
He watched her leave, helpless to stop it. The relief I thought I’d feel didn’t come. Just more guilt.
Brenn stood there for a long time afterwards. Too damn long. And when we finally left it was in silence with only a few instructions given to one of our employees.
Before we got home and in the sanctity of the darkness of my truck I asked him, “So, do you hate me?”
“Nah.” He said, and I was happy to see a half-hearted smile in the darkness. “Just replaying the past six months, wondering if I could have done anything different. Anything that would have left me even slightly less fucked.”
“You’re not totally fucked. Maybe she’ll come around.”
“But then what? I can’t force you to like each other and I can’t expect either of you to live knowing the other exists. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I don’t know either, but we’ll figure it out. We always do. Maybe she’ll see the advantages of being around my bright sunny personality.”
The groan I got from him was probably as close to a laugh as I was going to get.
****
I stuck around the next few days, checking out of my hotel room to stay with Brenn instead. It was good to spend time just hanging around with him, even if it was mostly just him moping around the house. Every now and then he was roused out of his crappy mood with an Indiana Jones marathon, or a phone call from Macy.
The two of them had been exchanging texts and a couple calls since the Gala. Most of it was work related, what with Brenn being pretty much useless at work lately and Macy working from home this week. As for the rest of it, though, I wasn’t sure and Brenn wasn’t sharing many details.
As the week wore on and I started to reach my sulking limit I tried to convince Brenn to get off his ass and go over to her place, hash things out. He refused, of course, but what I hadn’t been counting on was Macy.
Near the end of the week Brenn’s phone lit up with a text asking if she could come over. He paced the floor the entire twenty minutes it took for her to get over here and nothing I could say would convince him to calm his ass down.
When she finally did knock on the door he all but bolted to open it, leading her into the living room. He was careful not to crowd her, not to touch her. Hell, he didn’t even speak to her. We stood in silence staring at each other for what felt like forever before Macy broke the quiet.
“Sorry for just showing up like this. I’m not sure what I’m doing here; all I know is that I don’t want to leave things like they are.”
His shoulders sagged with relief like he had expected her to end things with him. The fear of rejection from someone you love was a feeling I could understand and it had been written all over his face. He stepped to her.
“I would never put you in a position that you weren’t comfortable in, or do something you don’t want.”
“What if I don’t know what I want yet?”
“Then that’s fine too. I just don’t want you to leave.”
Brenn wrapped her in his arms. She hugged him back, her contentment apparent, but her eyes wandered over to me. She ran them over me like she had at the Gala. Like there was something she was trying hard to see, mapping my edges. Her eyes moved down until they stopped at my hand.
“How’s the hand?” She asked. It was probably only the second thing she ever said directly to me and I decided I liked how her voice sounded when it was directed at me. And I liked the fire she tried to conceal under her demure body.
“It’s okay.” I said.
Brenn relinquished his hold on her and turned. “He’s lying. The one cut hasn’t healed much yet but he’s too stubborn to have it looked at.”
“I can take a look. If you want.” She said, her bri
ght eyes still trained to me.
Macy walked over to me, and this time when she held out her hand for mine I didn’t hesitate. She unwrapped the gauze and moved my hand under the light overhead.
“This cut is deeper than I thought.” She said, more to herself than me.
“I’ll grab the first aid kit.” Brenn said, before leaving us in the quiet of the room.
She indicated I sit on the couch and I did. She sat beside me and pressed her fingers around the cut.
“Why did you really come back?” I asked, taking advantage of having her to myself. Her eyes flickered up to mine. “I mean a smart woman doesn’t just waltz into this fucked up scenario without a reason.”
She turned her eyes back down to her inspection of my hand and answered with a shrug. “Brenn and I share a lot of things that I think are too rare to give up so easily. I love him and I trust him and those things are hard to do sometimes. And if Brenn trusts you then I do too. That’s enough reason for me to at least figure out what our future will look like, if there’s any future between us to be had.”
Brenn had returned while she was talking and stood at the doorway, listening. My eyes met his.
“You might regret that.” I said to her, to him.
“Maybe. But I don’t think so.” Macy turned her head to Brenn and he walked over to hand her the kit before moving away again, giving us space. “I obviously wasn’t expecting this, but I wasn’t expecting Brenn in my life.
Or this baby either. Unexpected doesn’t always mean bad. If life has taught me anything it’s that it rarely follows a straight line. That doesn’t mean I’m any closer to knowing where to go from here, but at least I’m willing to try.”
She worked while she talked, her nimble fingers cleaning the cut. She secured a bandage around it and closed both of her hands around mine. Her eyes searched mine like I held the answer. And being this close to her I could see what Brenn saw.
A fighter; someone strong enough to handle her own shit even when that shit was me. Someone who made our desire for a connection outside of ourselves not just a fantasy that you store in the back of your mind, but a real possibility.
It didn’t escape me that Brenn was still standing, watching. How things went from here was up to her and I, and it had to be killing him to keep his distance, to chance his desires on us.
His eyes were fixed on where Macy and I were touching, our hands, her knees against my thigh. It was too much of a temptation to resist and I found my fingers eager to see exactly how excited I could make him. How willing she really was to try. How far I would let myself go. My good hand covered hers, fingers dancing along the delicate skin at her wrist.
“You’re sure you trust me?” I asked.
Her bright eyes knew what I was asking, yet she nodded with no hesitation.
“I need you to say it.”
“I trust you.” She answered, licking her lips, anxiety laced with excitement.
I had no idea anymore if I was trying to prove her wrong or if I wanted a taste of the pleasure she so readily gave Brenn. Once she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, though, it didn’t matter much anymore. I wanted to taste her skin and feel it against my own and I hoped like hell she wouldn’t stop me.
My hands gripped her wrists, though lamely with the one hand. Despite that she came easily, willingly, when I pulled her towards me. Her legs straddled mine, but her head was turned to Brenn. She must have seen in him what I saw there, raw desire and lust, because when she turned back to me there was no hesitation left.
I tugged at her wrists again, bringing her closer to me, and I breathed in her warm skin. My lips met her neck, her collarbone, pulling delicate skin into my mouth. Her hands wriggled in my grasp. She could easily have moved them away. I gave her wrists a soft squeeze and she stilled them, submitting herself to me, giving me her trust, her body.
And then he was there, behind Macy, his hands on her waist and his lips pressed to the shell of her ear. The air shifted around us, becoming warmer, heavier with Brenn so near. The inaudible words he was whispering to her made her moan against my lips and I swallowed her sounds.
His hands moved between Macy and me, pulling up her shirt. I released my grip on her wrists, allowing him to slide it off. With her arms free, Macy slid the buttons of my shirt free, fingers greedy to pull the fabric away and move her hands over my chest. I shivered under her touch.
I stood and her legs slid down my body until she was touching the floor. I curled my fingers into the waistband of her jeans, and with her silent permission, I slid the button free and pushed them down. Once she stepped out of them I ran my hands down her smooth body until I was gripping her perfect ass, raising her onto me again, feeling her warm center against me.
I felt the familiar tug of Brenn’s hands on my belt, his firm grip dragging down, his eyes locking with mine over her shoulder. I saw his need, his desire to make this happen. And fuck it, so did I. I needed to know if she really could trust me like Brenn. Love me like Brenn. All my angst dissolved like salt in the rain under their touch on my body.
Brenn grabbed onto my hips, walking us back to the wall. His one arm snaked around Macy’s waist, supporting her, while his other hand pinched at the stiff peaks of her nipples. Low moans filled the room and my cock began begging for attention.
I traced her seam with the head, so warm and sweet, before pushing in. Her body tensed around me, squeezing me. I thrust into her with a pace that belied the need I felt building. Something about this moment made me not want to rush this.
Macy leaned her head against Brenn’s shoulder, a moan leaving her lips, her fingers lacing into my hair. I braced my hands on his shoulders, no longer able to resist her lips. Brenn continued to tease her tits, his hands trapped between us, his mouth on her neck working her from behind. Macy’s lips pulled and teeth nipped. Her hunger matched mine and I fought hard to keep my pace even.
Brenn’s hand threaded itself into Macy’s at the back of my neck and his mouth broke away from her, seeking mine. And then it was Brenn and me, the old familiarity enveloping. The one constant in my life, the one thing that made everything else seem less shitty. And permeating Brenn’s grip was Macy, all soft curves and hunger.
Each gentle caress from her small hand was tempered by a nip, a long run of her finger nails along my chest, an indecent oath whispered from perfect lips. I lost track of whose hands were where, whose scent filled my nose. It was both of them, all of them.
I had wanted to take her as far as she’d let me and to see if a future here for all of us was even possible, but with every one of her caressing touches, every moan of pleasure she let go she was proving it to me.
My restraint snapped, hips pumping into her with abandon. The sound of skin against skin, the scent of arousal, the tightness of her pussy contracting against me did me in. The sound of our moans echoed in unison. Feeling Brenn’s grip on me tighten and Macy tremble in my arms undid me. I came hard inside of her, pulsing with pleasure and sweet release.
I hadn’t realized how tight we had all been holding onto one another until I stepped back to let Macy slide down to her feet and I felt the heaviness in my limbs. With swollen lips and no trace of regret, Macy smiled up at me. Her pure acceptance, her willingness to trust when I showed nothing but resistance got to me and I smiled at her.
“I guess there’s no going back from that.”
Brenn turned her in his arms and kissed her in earnest before stepping in to touch his lips to mine. He led the way to his bedroom and as we settled into bed, all slick with sweat, Brenn threw an arm around my waist and pulled my back close to him. Macy curled up against me, long hair dancing across my arm and soft breaths cooling my skin.
“This can be as simple or as complicated as we make it.” He said from behind me, and I understood. Resisting their pull would be like trying to stop a freight train.
“True. And I know how much you hate to complicate life with trivial things. Like birth control, for example.
He laughed into my skin. “A baby doesn’t complicate things, Mic. Just the opposite.”
“How so?” Macy asked, voice thick with sleep.
“It means that we’ll always share a link between us. No matter what happens there’s proof that we love each other. That we’re a family.”
Fucking Brenn. I hated it when he was right.
I smiled against the top of Macy’s head, my hands finding their way to her soft belly, caressing the smooth skin there. Ceremonies and rings never held much appeal for me. Those things could be broken and tarnished as easily as words. This feeling, though, a bond that held Macy to Brenn and both off them to me was something that promised to last a lifetime.
