But in France, when they had walked and shopped and read together, it had not seemed that he didn't want
her. In fact he had seemed as surprised by that sudden flowering of friendship as she was.
What if he wasn't a calculating Titan like her father? What if he was just another bewildered creature like herself, surrounded by family he didn't understand and wasn't really part of? Doing things because he was good at them rather than because he enjoyed them? Just like her?
He enjoys playing the violin, she thought. And walking
in the country. And he enjoyed making love to me. The memory set a little flicker alight inside her. She made a decision.
It was late in the afternoon when she got to the Centre. For once she had brought her car. Daytime parking was problematical, but it would be easier to get home, and problems, she told herself firmly, were meant to be solved.
She was going through the schedule with Mel, shifting duties for the coming weeks, when Dave walked in. He swept her up in a bear-hug. She blinked at him, fending him off.
`Candy, my angel, I knew you wouldn't let us down. The TV crew will be here at six and—'
`Shut up, Dave,' said the newly confident Candy without rancour.
He was so astonished that he did. Mel hid a smile.
`I'm not parading before any damned cameras. You can forget it. I've just come to sort out a break for a bit,' she told him.
He could understand that. He told her so with a forgiving smile. He said they should go into his office and he would explain to her what it was that she really wanted to do.
`What I really want to do,' Candy assured him, 'is spit in your eye.'
He was dumbfounded. But he recovered himself. She was in shock. She didn't mean it.
`I mean it, Dave,' she said grimly. 'I've had just about enough of being told what I really am and what I really want by you. You're so damned clever at running other people's lives that you never notice what a hash you're making of your own. What are you going to do when the media get tired of you? It's going to be awfully boring back there on the beat with the van.'
He was wounded. But there was the beginning of anger there too. Mel got up, murmuring an excuse, and went out. Dave ignored her.
When she had gone, Candy said, 'You like an audience, Dave. The volunteers. The TV people. Whoever. Me. You had me on a string for years, and you enjoyed it. A few confidences, a few hugs and I fell, didn't I? And that was just what you wanted.'
`No,' he said in a strangled voice.
`And then I got married and you thought, That's all right, it's only a social thing. She's still my property emotionally.' She was so angry, her voice choked. 'Only you were wrong, and you didn't like it. So you decided to pull me back on the roadshow with a slightly hotted-up version.'
Dave stood up. He looked angry. He shouted, `No. I love you.'
Behind them the old ill-fitting door that had been closed slammed back. They spun round. Neither had heard the man enter.
Justin surveyed them quietly.
Candy's heart sank to her toes. He couldn't have come in at a more incriminating moment. And—remembering their last telephone conversation—what was he doing here, when he ought to have been at work sorting out important, undomestic problems?
She glared at him. His lips twitched and one eyebrow rose. But he gave no other sign of reaction.
Dave stepped forward as if to protect her, his best profile in relief, his chin high. Justin looked at them both with that damned unreadable expression that made her want to throw things.
`Well? he prompted gently. 'That was a declaration, my dear. You have to answer; it's only polite.'
Dave was so startled that he dropped his chin and stopped looking noble.
`It was not,' retorted Candy with precision, 'a declaration. It was Dave's way of keeping up the groupie quota.' She tuned to face him, and saw with satisfaction that for once he seemed utterly at a loss. 'Listen to me, Dave. I do this because I think it's important. And on the whole I do it well. Last night was stupid and I'm ashamed.'
Dave started to speak. She held up her hand.
`Ashamed, Dave. I don't want to go playing heroines with the Press. I've had that sort of silliness knocked out of me. I put a lot of people at risk last night. I was frightened half out of my wits. And—' she gagged a bit but went on bravely' —my husband was hurt. All because of me. I want to put it behind me and do better in the future.'
`Eventually,' murmured Justin.
Candy was startled. She turned her head. 'What?' `Eventually. When you come back,' he said softly. Dave's eyes narrowed. 'Are you forbidding her to come
here?'
Tor a while,' Justin confirmed with composure. The last of Dave's nobility dropped from him. Chin jutting, he looked like a thug.
`You think Candy 'll just do what you say?'
Justin's face took on that inner amusement she knew so well.
`I very much doubt it.'
`Well, then ...'
`So I'm going to kidnap her,' Justin said calmly. `Now.'
Dave put both arms round her shoulders and pulled Candy into the shelter of his body.
`You'll deal with me first,' he asserted, noble again.
Justin sighed. 'No doubt that could be arranged. But really I've had enough fighting for this quarter. And we'd do an awful lot of damage in here,' he added, looking round the small office.
This practical reflection took the steam out of Dave's heroics a bit. Candy detached herself carefully. Justin nodded with approval.
`Coming, then, Candida?'
Her eyes narrowed. 'Not because you say so,' she said belligerently.
`Naturally not.'
She turned back to Dave. 'I'll be back. I've talked to Mel. But I don't want any of your nasty, manipulative little games any more. When I come back it will be on a strictly professional basis.'
Dave protested, 'Candy, you can't do this to me.' Her spine went rigid.
Justin said softly, 'You had your chance, Tresilian. Better listen to the lady.'
`Goodbye, Dave,' Candy said, head high.
She walked out of the office just ahead of Justin. Four months ago, she could never have imagined leaving Dave like this. Justin took her elbow.
`Where's your car?'
She looked at him in surprise, blinking away the film in front of her eyes.
`Over there. Why?'
`I took a cab.' He looked down at her. 'Would you like me to drive?'
She bristled at once. 'Why?'
He put an infinitely gentle forefinger to her damp lashes and lifted off a dew-drop.
`Crying and driving. Not illegal. But not recommended, I believe.'
She stared at him for a long moment. He was grave and kind but there was no fire there. She said it to herself deliberately: no love. He opened the passenger door for her, and closed it on her courteously before going round to the driver's side and seating himself behind the wheel. The tears spilled over.
`Damn you, Justin,' she said.
CHAPTER TEN
JUST for a moment Candy had a fine sense of achievement. She could sense the astonishment in the silence behind her in the Centre. Astonishment and, she thought, reluctant admiration. She felt rather proud of herself, at least as long as she did not think about Justin or the reasons for his unexpected arrival.
Without another word, he started the engine. She looked at him under her lashes. As usual, his expression told her nothing. As usual, he did not speak. Candy suddenly realised that he looked paler than normal.
She said involuntarily, 'Are you all right?'
Justin was looking straight ahead at the incoming traffic. His mouth quirked wryly.
`You mean after going three rounds with the Viking? Metaphorically speaking, of course.'
Candy flushed. 'I meant after last night,' she said stiffly. She remembered suddenly that the policemen had said that Justin had been covered in blood. She studied his profile anxiously.
Justin
said suddenly, 'You don't think I have any right to care about you, do you, Candy?'
She was astonished. 'I don't know what you mean.'
Justin gave a harsh laugh. 'Well, you didn't expect me to come after you yesterday, did you? You were frightened and in danger, but you didn't think I would be there for you.' He sent her a rapid unsmiling look before turning the car on to a main road. 'You expected the Viking.'
She flinched. There was a long pause. Oh, God, this was awful. Of course he would think that. She had called him Dave. She could have cut out her tongue. She twisted her hands hopelessly.
Then he asked softly, 'Was that who you really wanted, Candy?'
`No.' It was no more than a breath, though she would have liked to shout it from the house-tops.
There was nothing in Justin's expression to show that he had even heard. He put the car round a corner with precision. Candy suddenly noticed that they were pulling on to a motorway. She turned, startled. It had never occurred to her that they were not going back to the flat.
`Where are you taking me?'
Justin laughed. 'Neutral territory.'
Candy stared at him. He looked implacably ahead. Although she was certain from the set of his head that he was aware of her astonishment.
`You mean you really are kidnapping me?'
He nodded.
`Where?'
Justin shrugged. `Halloways:
Candy stared harder. `Halloways? You mean the Richmond family place? But—'
`But it's a bloody great castle,' Justin agreed grimly. `I know. I pay a lot of the bills. It wouldn't be my hideaway, but I rather doubt whether you have your passport on you.'
Candy remembered how she, too, had thought of returning to the cottage in France. She gave a little choke of laughter. Justin went on as if he hadn't heard.
`No one will be there mid-week. I rang and made sure. Anyway, the western tower is mine, and people know they're not allowed there without invitation. We won't be disturbed.'
Candy said softly, 'Why?'
Justin gave her a swift look. 'I don't encourage my family to invade my privacy.' A slight flush stole into his pale cheeks. 'Our privacy.'
`That wasn't quite what I meant,' Candy said carefully. 'I meant why do we need to be undisturbed?'
Justin's mouth tightened, but he said, drawling more than usual, 'I would think that is self-evident.'
Candy deliberately relaxed her limbs. She could feel the tension in the back of her neck running all the way down to the ends of her fingers. She looked steadily ahead out of the windscreen at the ribbon of brilliant road that streamed towards them. Justin was driving fast. She looked at the long-fingered, capable hands on the wheel and gave a long, luxurious shiver.
But all she said was, 'Not to me.'
Justin replied evenly, 'I can't drive and bare my soul at the same time. If you want a fight it'll have to wait.'
Candy shivered again. Looking at him under her lashes, she said, 'I wasn't thinking of fighting.'
Justin gave a harsh laugh. 'Well, that will be a pleasant change, at least.'
The house, when they arrived, was everything that Candy expected: formal gardens, long, sweeping drive between beech trees, and turreted edifice. She was too intent on the man beside her to be intimidated by the formal elegance, however.
Justin swept round the corner of the drive and into what appeared to be a disused stable. There were other vehicles there, but nobody in evidence. He slid her car neatly into a stall beside a coupe and killed the engine.
`Come on.'
Candy followed him out of the stable yard and round a high grey stone wall. Eventually they came to a small wooden door. Justin opened it, bracing his arm against
it to allow her to pass through. On the other side was an aspect of lawns and summer flowers like a secret garden out of a dream. Her lips parted in amazement. She stopped.
Justin was selecting another key that Candy had never seen before. He went to a massive oak door in a rounded turret that looked like something out of the Tales of Camelot. Candy watched, fascinated. She fully expected the ancient thing to open with a creak of uncoiled hinges. But in fact it swung wide as easily as their own front door in the flat.
Turning, Justin held out an imperative hand. Candy went to him
Inside it struck dim Candy gave a little shiver at the shadowed sunlight. Immediately Justin's arm went round her. He guided her into a comfortable sitting-room with leaded windows from floor to ceiling, admitting the sunlight on to large, shabby sofas and armchairs.
He pulled her down on to the sofa in front of the unlit fireplace and turned her towards him His face was unreadable.
`And now ...'
His mouth was not unreadable at all. The hunger was naked. When she could speak, Candy said, 'Why . ..?'
Justin drew back. In the dim light the planes and angles of his face were all shadow.
`I know you didn't want to marry me. You never made any bones about it. In fact—' he looked at her searchingly ' —I always thought that if your mother hadn't got herself into that mess over her gambling you wouldn't have considered it for a moment.'
Candy looked down at their clasped hands. It was probably true. Conscience flicked its whip at her. She withdrew her hand from his. Justin made no attempt to recapture it.
`But you said—if you remember—there were no lovers. No one else.'
Candy caught her breath, looking up quickly. 'That was important?'
Justin looked at her. He was very grave.
`The most important thing in the world.' He gave a short laugh. 'Only you have your own way of telling the truth. It wasn't until afterwards that I realised—'
`What?'
He looked at her steadily. 'That you had been frightened. By someone you liked. Perhaps loved.'
She made an involuntary movement, quickly curbed.
`Will you tell me the real truth now, please, Candy? Was it David Tresilian?' His voice hardened. 'And are you going to stay in love with him forever?'
Candy made a strangled sound. No words came.
Justin sighed. 'I thought it was going to be so easy. I knew you were very innocent. But I had enough experience for both of us, I thought. And I knew the prison you were in with your parents. I'd been there myself. I could understand that you wanted to run away from all that. Well, I would help you.' He paused. 'What I hadn't allowed for was that you were running away from David Tresilian as well.' His mouth twisted. 'From unrequited love, in fact.'
Candy's flush deepened. Her girlish dreams hadn't amounted to love. She knew that now. She felt embarrassed at her stupidity.
And Dave wasn't the hero she'd made of him. He was a good, kind man with a driving enthusiasm and as much sensibility as a wart-hog. Whereas Justin knew things he hadn't told him, because he listened, listened properly, not just to the words. And fastidious, private Justin had squared up to a thug for her, gone out into a dangerous, violent world and bargained with a criminal—and he thought he hadn't any right to care about her.
Tears almost clogged her throat. 'I didn't know—' she began.
He made a small, fierce movement, quickly stilled. She broke off, flinching.
But all he said was, 'Yes, I think we were both taking a bigger gamble than we realised.'
He got up. The late afternoon sunlight caught the reddish lights in his dark hair and made it gleam like polished wood. Candy caught her breath momentarily at the sheer beauty of it. He thrust his hands into his pockets. With his back to her he stood looking out through the long, leaded panes across the riot of summer flowers to the hazy hills beyond.
`So what do we do now?'
Candy stared at the set of the broad shoulders outlined against the window.
`I don't understand,' she said in a voice that shook slightly.
`No?' Justin sounded tired. He shrugged. 'Well, we'd better make up our minds whether the gamble has come off or not. You haven't been happy, I think. Last night—' He gave a sharp sigh.
'Things haven't worked out as I'd intended.' He shrugged again, turning back to face her. 'In any way.'
Candy said slowly. 'What happened last night, Justin? What did I do to make you—?' She broke off with a helpless gesture.
He said wearily, 'You didn't do anything. I just realised how far apart we were still. Married three months and you looked at me as if I were a stranger.'
`Oh, God,' Candy said under her breath.
She wanted to put her arms round him, but she didn't quite dare. He looked very remote and unapproachable silhouetted against the ancient window.
`I'm not good at close relationships. I'm not used to them. I haven't lived with a woman since the divorce.'
He gave a laugh that held no amusement. 'In fact that was one of the things Marianne complained about—that I wasn't prepared to give enough time to the relationship, even then—' He broke off.
He looked very isolated. Candy couldn't help herself. She went to him in pure instinct and put her arms round him. His arms closed round her, but absently. It was not much more than a courtesy. He was obviously lost in his memories.
`This time was going to be different,' he said over her head. 'I was determined. I took you off to France where no one could find us or get in the way, and—it was a disaster.'
Candy flinched. Justin looked down at her quickly.
`Oh, it wasn't your fault,' he told her in a gentle voice. `You'd been quite straight with me. You'd certainly never given me any reason to imagine that you wanted anything more than you'd contracted for. The trouble is, I'd forgotten how young you were. You said you didn't want a cheating marriage, but every time I touched you, you seemed horrified.'
Candy said, 'No,' in an appalled undertone, but Justin did not appear to hear her.
`The crazy thing is that I knew. Underneath, I knew I was too old for you. But I've always been a gambler. And if it came off it was going to be the whole world.'
Hadn't he said something of the kind to her once? `The longer the odds, the greater the rewards'? Something like that.
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