by Leach, Kiki
“And he thinks that a chance might stand?”
“Yes.” She paused. “I think. I don’t know.”
“Men can’t read signals, V,” he said. “We need to have shit spelled out for us if you want us to know what the fuck you’re actually trying to tell us. Otherwise we--”
“What? Screw around? Yeah, don’t I know it.” She shifted back over toward the bookcase. Resting her hand on the edge, she focused her eyes on the cracks in the floor.
Nathan got up from the couch and walked over. Placing his hands around her shoulders, she almost leaned back into him for comfort. And then remembered that this man wasn’t the one she needed. Briefly, she turned up to look him in the face, then shook is hands from her body and walked away.
Silence stood between them like an invisible wall before he spoke again.
“Listen, Vanessa,” he started. “If you really want to make things right with Mo, then you need to let him know about it. He’s not gonna sit around and wait forever for you to come around when he’s got willing pussy in his face twenty-four hours a day like she seems to be.”
“That’s because the bitch won’t take her pasty ass back to LA and do the damn job she’s supposedly been so highly paid to do for the last ten years! But I’m not afraid of him actually doing anything with her.”
“You’re not?”
“No,” she said, spinning around to face him. “Like I said, he’s not you. But I can’t say that the two of them constantly spending time together and thus getting to know each other on a level that may not be intimate physically, but…” She stopped and took in a deep breath.
“What if I came to the party with you?” he asked.
“Yeah, let’s start yet another riot in public so that we can all be on the front page of whatever tabloid decides to show up that night and top the shit that went down at the reunion. Real smart, Nate.” She went over to the couch and plopped down. Then fell back and lifted her feet on the coffee table. “But hey, you know what? With my sister in town, it’s not like Alexis won’t have somebody to run the magazine in my place when she sends my ass off on extended leave.”
“I never said anything about a riot, V.”
“I don’t care. I’m not taking you with me, Nathan. Whenever you and Mo get in the same place, shit goes down and I won’t be in the mood for it that night.”
“Just like you won’t be in the mood for Melanie when she no doubt throws whatever the hell she’s got going with Maurice in your face?”
She swallowed back the building bile in her throat. “If she happens to come anywhere near me, I’ll just go off in the opposite direction. I’ll do my damnedest to stay away from both of them the entire night and everything will be fine.”
“That’s worked out real well for you before, V, right?”
She didn’t answer.
He zipped around the coffee table and took a seat next to her legs. “You’re not happy, V. And I know that I’m part of the reason for that being the case. I just want to be there for you for once and make this shit right.”
Vanessa placed her hands behind her head and started to laugh. “You’re full of shit.”
“I’m not,” he said.
Vanessa stared into his eyes, gauging for seriousness. She found a splinter in each one and sat up straight.
“What the hell is this really about?” she asked.
“What?”
“You heard me. What the hell is this really about? You didn’t come over here just to tell me about Mo and Melanie. You mentioned Sheila first, is this why you’re trying to go? You want us to show up together, to what? Get underneath her skin?”
“Showing up with me would do the same for Maurice, wouldn’t it?”
“I knew that there was something else behind this. You never do shit for anyone else without always looking out for number one first.”
“In this case, we both benefit, V.”
“How? Sheila doesn’t even want you anymore! She woke up, saw the light and realized that there was someone else out there willing to finally treat her with respect. Not that I really give a shit, but her being with Adrian just might keep her ass out of my fuckin’ face for the duration! And you’re telling me to bypass that opportunity just so that I can help you win her back and we can all go back to living the same damn cycle that’s been spinning around and around in circles since the moment you two came back? Hell naw. No.”
She got up from the couch and strolled into the kitchen.
Nathan slammed his fist against his knee. “Damn it.”
He got up to follow her.
“I know that I did Sheila wrong, V. Chasing after you, gettin’ my ass arrested. And before that, not calling her while I was gone and coming back here first to see you instead of her. But while I was locked up, I realized that she might actually be the best thing for me.”
“You mean the only thing for you because she’s the only woman we both know who’s always been willing to put up with your shit. And not just because she can but because she was hoping like hell that something positive would finally come from having done so for so long. It never did, and now she’s gone. You only want her back now because you don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life and you’re too lazy to find someone else and put in the actual work.”
“Vanessa.”
“What?”
“I don’t love her like a small part of me still loves you. I don’t think I’ll ever find another woman again that I’ll love just as much, even if I tried. But she comes close to the only happy that I might ever have in this life.”
She stood back against the counter and crossed her arms. “You’re serious.”
He nodded. “Yeah. It may not be possible to get back what we had before all of this, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t try like hell to make that happen.”
“I’ll be. If this isn’t some full circle kind of shit, I don’t know what the fuck is.” She looked away and muttered. “Shit.” She moved away from the counter and over to the fridge. “Alright, I’ll go with you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. If you were willing to go through all of this trouble and pay all of this money just to try and get her ass back, then yeah, I’ll go. Besides, it might be nice to see Mo get a little taste of his own medicine. But the first sign of any shit going down, and we’re gone, understand?”
“Understood.”
“Alright. And just so you’re fully aware, if things don’t happen the way you want or expect them to, we’re not fuckin’. Period. I’m no longer desperate enough to use you for personal gain that requires me being on my back. Nor am I Sheila Harris which means my legs are not open for you like a 24 hour restaurant in the Bronx.”
“Got that too,” he said.
“Good. You damn well better.”
Part Thirty-Five
“Usted puede hacer esto. Usted puede hacer esto. Usted puede hacer esto. Mierda.”
Nikki sat in front of the mirror inside her dressing room located in the Gershwin Theatre, and panicked.
It was opening night. Finally, her time to shine. A chance to prove to the world and her parents and anyone else who never believed she would make it that she belonged here and would soon be deigned as one of the best of the best this side of New York City.
She hadn’t just arrived, she was here and determined to stay.
She was also scared shitless, her stomach was in knots, her head pounded and her feet felt stuck to the floor. All because she feared that everything she had worked so hard for, not just over the last month but since she was a child, would all go to hell before the curtain even rose on her first scene.
When she heard someone knocking, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Still in her robe and only partially made up, she stood up from the bench and went over to the door.
“Yes?” she asked before pulling back on the knob. “I’m not ready yet if you’re--”
“Nik!” a soft voice called out. “It’s me! And this big ass
vase of flowers is heavy as hell.”
Realizing it was Vanessa, Nikki quickly pulled back on the door and let her inside!
She stuck her head in before anything else and screamed. “AHHHHH! I’m so excited for you!” She carried the large vase filled with a combination of green and red roses across the room and sat them down on the vanity in front of the mirror, right next to a smaller vase of red roses that had apparently been brought in earlier that night by her parents.
She turned back to her friend and beamed.
“Where in all of New York did you find a place selling roses verde?”
“I didn’t,” Vanessa replied. “I actually ordered them from a florist I know who lives just outside of the city. Very rare color for this type of flower, but beautiful, right?”
Nikki took the petals between her fingers and relished in their softness. “The best I’ve ever seen,” she said. She peeked over at an excitable Vanessa, but couldn’t retain her own happiness and sat back down on the bench.
Vanessa dropped down next to her while fixating on her dour expression. “What’s wrong?”
Nikki sat up and looked straight ahead. “I’m nervous as hell, Vanessa. All this time I’ve spent rehearsing, singing the same songs, learning the same lines over and over again and now I’m forced to prove myself to a room full of people who have probably been looking for me to fail since they learned I was taking over this part. What if I prove them right by messing it up? What if I’m so terrible that no one will ever want to hire me again? What if I get out there and can’t remember a single thing about steps or vocal that I’ve spent so much time learning. And if my voice cracks--”
“Hey.” Vanessa turned to her and raised her hands. “Okay, first of all, you need to calm the fuck down, alright? Second, I don’t give a damn what anybody says, you earned this part. You put in the work, you put in the time and I know all too damn well that you put in the effort because it kept us from hanging out like we did before you got a legitimate gig.” They both smiled. “Nobody can take that shit away from you, any of it. You are going to kick ass up in here, EVERYBODY is going to see and be blown away by your amazing talent. I’ve always known it was there. You just need to take some personal time for yourself before you get out there and remember that what happens tonight is the reason why you’ve worked so damn hard over the years.”
Nikki immediately reached out and wrapped her arms around Vanessa, embracing her.
“Thank you so much, V,” she said on the verge of tears.
Vanessa rubbed her back and pat the back of her hair. “I don’t give a damn what we go through, no matter what happens. I am always going to have your back no matter what and in everything that you do.”
As they pulled back from each other, someone else knocked on the door.
“That could be William, finally,” said Nikki, “or the stage manager or something.”
She went over and peeked her head outside the door. Her eyes got big at the person standing in front of her. Then she looked back at Vanessa and smiled.
“What?”
“It’s not William or the stage manager,” she said. “It’s Mo.”
“Oh.” Vanessa stood up quick and straightened the wrinkles piling up the front of her red dress. She hadn’t seen the love of her life since they almost mauled each other in front of the Popup Market the week before.
Nikki closed the door a little and raised her eyebrows when she got an eyeful of Vanessa running her hands over her breasts to make sure they were at attention and fluffing the loose curls in her hair.
“Do you mind if he comes in?”
“No. This is your night. It’s not about us or anything else.”
Nikki pulled back on the door, allowing him inside. He was carrying a large vase as well, one filled with over three dozen yellow roses. He walked over to the vanity just as Vanessa moved to the side, and placed them next to the vase filled with green roses.
He laughed to himself and looked over at V. “Guess we had the same idea.”
“Yeah, great minds and all that.”
He stared down at the petals and scrunched his brows. “I didn’t know green roses existed.”
“I didn’t either until a few weeks ago. I wanted white with diamonds for the Glinda-effect, but I would have needed to sell at least half of Attitude to the highest bidder in order to make that happen. And I don’t think Alexis would’ve liked that too much.”
“Yeah.” He lowered his head and slipped his hands in his pockets, but didn’t exactly take his eyes off of any part of her.
She felt him staring and it stirred something up deep inside of her that she refused to turn off.
“So, are you here with Melanie?” she asked him.
He cleared his throat, then swallowed. “Yeah. What about you?”
“Nathan.”
“Hm.” He glowered. “Yeah, I heard about him and Sheila busting up. It’s been all over the entertainment news and in the papers since last week. Their wedding planner has been talking about suing them for distress. Sucks that they decided to call it off after all the shit they went through to try and make it happen. But I can’t say I feel all that sorry for him though.” He waited a moment and stared into her eyes. “I guess unless you two are back together now?”
“No,” she told him. “We’re just trying to be friends or something like it now. Borderline civil at the very least. He’s actually interested in getting Sheila back, but I don’t know how well that’s going to turn out for him, considering.”
“The Adrian thing?” he asked. “That’s been slowly making the circuits too. People are speculating she might have been seeing him around the time Nathan was out of town.”
“They wouldn’t be wrong,” she mumbled. “Well, maybe by a few hours at most.”
Maurice arched his brows and grinned.
She laughed. “It’s a long story. One that shouldn’t be told here and now, especially since we’re here for” – she turned to Nikki and opened her arms wide – “you.” She leaned in to hug her friend, then trailed to the door. “Remember what I said and kick all the ass. All of it.” She looked at Maurice one last time, who continued to stare at her until she closed the door.
Nikki shook her head and folded her arms. “You two are pathetic.”
“What?”
“If I weren’t in here right now, you would be fucking on top of my vanity as we speak.”
“That obvious?”
“Almost too much. The tension between you is palpable, sexual and otherwise.”
He walked over to her bench and took a seat. “I don’t know what she does to me,” he said. “I mean I know what she does to me. And then she walks around looking like that.”
Nikki finished putting on her makeup and brushed out her blond wig.
“You think Nathan is really interested in just getting Sheila back?”
“I don’t know,” said Nikki. “Maybe he misses that weird ass relationship they had. Maybe he misses the fighting.”
“Or the sex,” Maurice blurted.
Nikki made a face.
“I haven’t been with anybody since V, Nik.” He pushed himself up from the bench and crossed her room. “I haven’t even tried.”
“Not even with Melanie?”
He grimaced. “No. V was right, it’s not as if she never tried. She’s been interested, I know all too well of that. But my dick doesn’t seem to want to work for anybody else but her anymore. And I’m fine with that. At least I could be, I would be if she’d let me back in.”
He turned to her as she continued brushing out her wig.
“I’m sorry,” he told her. “I didn’t mean to come back here and dump this shit on you, I meant to come back here and tell you congratulations. I know that our relationship has been rocky for the most part, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not happy to see you shine up there. I know you worked hard and you deserve everything that’s happened to you to get here tonight.”
“Thank you, M
o. That means a lot coming from you.”
He wrapped a single arm around her waist and pulled her close, then kissed the top of her head.
“Kick ass.”
As soon as he left her alone, Nikki finished putting on her makeup and slapped on her wig.
“Showtime,” she said to her reflection in the mirror.
And then there was another knock.
She raced to the door, only to answer to her stage manager this time.
“Twenty minutes!” he told her, his red facing covered in sweat and tears. He adjusted his headset atop his balding head and clutched his clipboard to his chest. “Oh, God, twenty minutes!”
As he turned back down the hall, she called him back.
“Have you seen William?” she asked. “He was supposed to bring me here tonight, but then he said he’d be showing up later because he had some things he needed to take care of with his daughter, so the car brought me instead. I’ve tried calling but he hasn’t answered and--”
“Hon, I’m not sure where he is. As far as I know, he was supposed to be here long before you even showed up. Maybe he’s still setting things up for your party at that bar.” He looked down at his watch. “NINETEEN MINUTES!”
People in the hall scurried about, returning to their rooms and heading out to the stage to make sure various props were in place and secure.
Nikki closed the door and leaned back. She bounced her head against it and tried wracking her brain as to where William could actually be instead of at her side supporting her as she was so certain he would be.
When she heard another knock, she was about ready to lose her mind. If it wasn’t William, she wasn’t interested.
But then she saw the one man she never really expected to come and visit her backstage, not since their very public blowup.
“Oscar.”
“Hi,” he said.
She peeked down one side of the hallway and then the other. “What are you doing back here? I would think that the last thing you’d want is to be seen with me.”
“The only place I want to be seen is with you,” he said. “You mind if I…?” He pointed inside her room.
