Charity made him run with her, their feet scrunching on the gravel drive as they skirted round the stables. She was wearing only jeans and a blue sweater and it was cold, but she had no intention of going back for a coat.
Everywhere looked extra special this morning: the lawn white with frost, holly berries startling red against dark green leaves. Even the sky was brilliant blue, setting off the grey stone of the Priory to perfection.
In her haste to talk to Rob she had forgotten he hadn’t seen the house before and that he was probably as overwhelmed as she had been on her first visit. But she could show him everything later; for now her news was the only important thing.
It was marginally warmer in the shelter of the walled garden. Charity led him to a small bench in the corner and sat down. There were few flowers left in the garden now that the roses had been pruned by Tom, just naked spiky sticks, and the pergola appeared to be covered in barbed wire because the clematis had lost all its leaves. A few clumps of winter pansies lifted their pretty faces in defiance, and the small fountain Grandmother had asked for was silent. Just a few inches of green water lay still beneath the cherub’s feet.
‘The perfect spot!’ Charity turned to Rob, pulling him down beside her.
‘Not for making love,’ Rob groaned. ‘This bench is hard and it’s freezing.’
‘I thought you said you’d love me anywhere?’ she joked, snuggling into his arms. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve had a change of heart?’
Rob laughed, wrapping his arms tightly round her.
‘No, but I’m not into scenic beauty right now, only a hot cup of coffee and a warm fire.’
‘I wanted to tell you my news somewhere beautiful,’ she said softly. The garden was barren now compared with its beauty in the spring and summer, yet the pansies, a winter-flowering daphne and a vivid orange cotoneaster climbing the wall were enough in the sunshine. A robin sat on the side of the fountain, its bright eyes watching them intently, and the red brick of the paths and raised flowerbeds added warmth to the picture. ’So we could remember it when we’re old. Maybe even bring our grandchildren out here and tell them about it.’
‘Grandchildren? That’s jumping the gun a bit!’ he exclaimed, tilting her face round to his. ‘We haven’t even got married yet.’
Charity took one of his hands and put it on her stomach.
‘Say hallo to the first little Cuthbertson.’
Rob’s eyes widened incredulously.
‘A baby?’
Charity had rehearsed this moment so many times in the last few days, had steeled herself to wait until Christmas morning, but she couldn’t hold it in any longer. As she felt the warmth of his hand on her stomach, saw that look of adoration in his eyes, it surpassed everything she had hoped for.
Charity just savoured the moment. The garden, the sunshine and that strong capable hand caressing her so reverently. It made up for all the sadness and pain, washed away the last bitter memories.
No man had ever stroked her when Daniel was inside her; she’d had to love him enough for two. She knew Rob would share every moment of this pregnancy and at the moment of birth he would be there. The first night they made love she’d been aware it was doubly sweet because of all the sadness of the past, and now she saw that without the sorrow of losing Daniel, she could never have contained this much joy now.
‘Are you absolutely sure?’ Rob whispered.
‘You’re the doctor,’ she laughed. ‘But I’m certain.’
‘I adore you,’ Rob smiled, taking her in his arms to kiss her. ‘I only loved you before, but this news is worthy of adoration.’
‘We’ll have to keep it to ourselves till after the wedding,’ Charity whispered as they went into the house, shivering now with cold and excitement. ‘As Prue would say, “We must consider the proprieties.”’
‘Coward.’ Rob smiled down at her. ‘You’re afraid your uncle will rise from his grave making statements about babies born the wrong side of the blanket.’
‘Maybe,’ Charity giggled. ‘But as the eldest I have to set a good example.’
‘What on earth are you two so happy about?’ Prue said suspiciously over lunch. Rob had been grinning inanely at Charity since the moment they entered the dining room and Prue felt uncomfortable, wondering if their private joke had something to do with her. ‘And you still haven’t said if we’re going to spend Christmas here!’
Charity looked at Rob. He shrugged his shoulders in a gesture that said she must decide.
Charity looked back at her sister, saw the tension in her face and sensed that whatever Prue might say, she didn’t really welcome Christmas here. Prue was young, she’d been through a great deal of trauma this year and she should be with her friends, letting her hair down.
As for James, he was torn too, wanting to be with Lou and Geoff and friends he’d grown up with, yet clinging to the idealistic Christmas with his sisters.
The silver salvers on the Jacobean sideboard, the cutlery and glass, even the vastness of the dining room, pointed out the amount of work required to create Christmas here. Margaret and Tom would gladly do it at the expense of their own family – but for what?
‘No Prue, we’re spending it at Albemarle Mansions. It’s too much bother here.’
‘It might be the last chance here,’ James retorted, but there was a glimmer of relief in his eyes.
‘Until we get the holiday cottage fixed up.’ Charity laughed lightly, aware this would mean nothing to Rob and she would have to explain later. ‘But both of you are welcome to join us in London. We’ll have the time of our lives there.’
A slow smile crept across Prue’s face.
‘I could drive up on Boxing Day,’ she said. ‘I have been invited somewhere else on Christmas Day, but I didn’t want to let you down.’
‘Somewhere else?’ Charity raised one eyebrow, guessing there was a new man behind that statement.
‘Well, bring him too on Boxing Day. And what about you, James?’
‘I’ll join you then,’ He smiled sheepishly. ‘Lou and Geoff will be thrilled if I’m at home.’
‘And I thought we were going to have a pitched battle,’ Rob sighed, pretending great disappointment. ‘Some people are never satisfied. They get given a whacking great house and they don’t want it.’
‘Not as a home.’ Charity smiled, happy now because she’d freed them all from the burden. ‘It’s never been a home, just rooms and ghosts. I suspect that’s why Mother never mentioned it.’
‘We’ll stay another night,’ Prue said as she kissed Rob and Charity goodbye that afternoon. ‘I’ll see James on to the train tomorrow and we’ll all meet up on Boxing Day.’
‘Is everything all right now?’ Charity asked, tenderly stroking her sister’s face. She had grown used to Prue’s reticence but still wished she could reach in and touch Prue’s inner self.
‘It’s resolved,’ Prue said starchily, but seeing Charity’s face fall she hugged her. ‘I didn’t mean it like that exactly. I mean, I’m relieved. Studley is a burden and I had no right to expect you to carry it.’
‘Have some fun,’ Charity said, holding her sister close. ‘We’ve all had too little of that. If this new man is special, hang on to him. Believe me, love is the only thing that counts for anything.’
Charity turned to James then, hugging him wordlessly. They were alike; there was no need for speeches or assurances, just a touch or a look said everything.
‘See you both Boxing Day.’ James held out a hand to Rob once Charity had let him go. ‘Merry Christmas!’
It was dusk when they got outside. Charity walked over to the railings and turned to look back at the house across the lawn, as Rob packed her bag in the boot. The sun was a huge orange sphere, about to slip down into the trees behind the stables. The Priory had a disapproving look, the stone turning black as light faded, its many windows like half-closed eyes. Even the cypresses seemed to shake their foliage in resentment.
Charity laughed, softly at first, then becoming
wilder until tears ran down her cheeks.
‘Whatever’s the matter?’ Rob ran across the circular lawn, his face wreathed with concern.
‘I’m stronger than this place,’ Charity said, leaning on him for support and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘I just realised I’ve won! I’m walking away from it without one regret, and because of my plans it will never trap anyone I love again.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Rob frowned.
‘I don’t exactly either.’ Charity put her arms round Rob and kissed his cheek. ‘But it was the last burden – and now I’m free.’
The past was put aside, just a series of memories like faded photographs that in time they would bring out and look at again, sometimes with tears, but more often with laughter. The future was golden for all of them: a new family history was about to start from today.
Charity and Rob stood together, watching as the last ray of sun caught the tiles on the roof and turned them fiery red momentarily before slipping out of sight.
Rob shivered and took her hand.
‘Let’s go home, darling.’
‘Home.’ All her life that word had been her only true goal. There had been no home for all of them together when they were young. No home for Daniel, and by the time she made enough money for one for her brothers and sister, they had lives and goals of their own and her flat always seemed empty.
Charity reached up and kissed Rob.
‘Home,’ she whispered. ‘With you, for always.’
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Copyright © Lesley Pearse 1995
Lesley Pearse has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
This novel is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
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First published in Great Britain in 1995 by William Heinemann
First published in Great Britain in paperback in 1995
by Manderin Paperbacks
First published in paperback by Arrow Books in 1997
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About the Book
When you’re sixteen, pregnant and alone, sixties London is anything but swinging …
Charity Stratton’s bleak childhood is changed for ever when both her parents are killed in a fire. Separated by the authorities from her younger brothers and sister, Charity is sent out to work as a skivvy in a boys’ boarding school. Her loneliness and misery are eased when she falls deeply in love with the dashing but fickle sixth-former Hugh Mainwaring, but when she discovers she is pregnant with Hugh’s baby she soon realises just how alone she really is.
Determined to be reunited with her siblings and to make something of herself, Charity runs away to London and begins to forge a new life.
Charity Page 64
