Never Enough

by Sarah Clay

  Chapter Nine

  EDEN

  Jason and Ryan’s apartment is beautiful, situated in a huge new building in town. It’s a short 10-minute drive from the campus. It’s fresh and open, the kitchen has a huge oven and cook top, stainless steel appliances, the bench is the only thing keeping it from being a part of the lounge room. The lounge is fitted with a beautiful black leather sofa and two separate, matching recliner seats, with a huge TV plastered up on the white wall and a play station and controllers littering the entertainment unit underneath. Beside it sits a huge stereo with way too many speakers. All of their furniture is stained in a dark mahogany colour. They each have their own bedroom on opposite sides of the space with a bathroom and laundry running along the hallway in between. There is a small patio that opens up off the lounge room wall and a laundry situated just along the hallway. It’s not what I expected at all, it screams money. Other than a few dirty clothes and some dishes piled up, what grabs my attention the most is the over flowing amount of empty beer bottles piled up next to the bin. It’s the only thing my home growing up has in common with this place.

  We’ve been working on the assignment for a couple of hours and I’m so glad I took him up on his offer, I’m feeling more confident and less like I’m going to fail the class with each passing minute. Jason deems it time for a break and switches on the TV in front of us, we had been splayed out at the coffee table with books and paper everywhere. He stands up and throws me a PlayStation controller that I barely catch in time. “Alright Edes, time for a little Call of Duty” looking from the controller and back to him “Uhh… I’ll just watch” trying to pass it back to him but he refuses, telling me it’s only fair. “Ok but you’re going to have to teach me how to play” he shifts from the spot he’d taken up on the floor, moving to sit beside me on the sofa as he covers the basics.

  We play for an hour or so before we hear the door to the apartment open and close. Jason looks over at me and I notice the cheeky smile his sporting. “Hey, how was work?” he shouts out “fucking shit, I had a fucking hangover and the boss was fucking up orders left and right. I spent most of my day fixing up his mistakes” he says stepping out of the entrance and in to the lounge room. I see the look of shock that crosses his face when he notices I’m in his house, he takes in the room but he doesn’t speak, so I raise my hand in a little wave and he smirks back while walking further in to the room. Instead of sitting down on the recliner beside him he squishes in between me and his brother. Jason just laughs at his brother.

  “Hey friend, couldn’t stay away?” he jokes and I can’t resist rolling my eyes at him “something like that.” I look back to where my books sit, deciding I should really start packing it up and go home. Ryan obviously catches what I’m thinking and holts me with a hand on my knee. Swinging my gaze over to him I feel my brows bunch in question, “You had dinner?” I don’t answer straight away; I just stare at him. His hair is falling in to his eyes and his got dirt smeared across his cheek. But it only adds to his appeal. His got a day or mores growth over his jaw, his lips tip upwards when he notices I’m staring. Before he can get out a quick remark I ask “does coffee count?” this time his brows draw together, but I can see his gaze settle over my face, I must look like death warmed up, no amount of concealer was going to cover my dark under eyes this morning.

  Shaking his head “Nope, doesn’t count.” He pops his P. I notice Jason shift and walk towards the kitchen then. “What are we in the mood for gang?” he shuffles through a drawer and pulls out some take out menus. “Oh no, that’s okay, I should be getting home anyway” Ryan’s hand, that has apparently stayed situated on my knee the whole time squeezes just as Jason rebuts my departure. “Aubree’s at work until late tonight, don’t rush off. Stay and have some food with us” I look from him back to Ryan, his staring at me; his not telling me to stay but his not telling me to go either. What could one meal hurt. “Oh alright, if I have to” I sigh out, acting more put out by it then I really feel. I notice both of them are wearing matching smiles.

  We’d finished dinner, the boys had decided on Thai food and while they both had a beer I stuck to water. Both brothers had set up on the recliners and played some more on the PlayStation, this time it was some soccer game that let them go on opposing teams. I spread out across the sofa and switched between watching them play while listening to their friendly banter and finishing off my assignment. I’d got a message from Bree to say practice was going to run late and she was just going to crash at one her co-workers house for the night because she had an early morning start.

  At some point I most have fallen asleep, because I jerk awake when I feel something touch my legs and it takes me a couple of seconds to remember where I am. The room was dark now; the only illumination coming from the numbers on the stereo. 1:00am. Jumping again when I hear a throat clearing, “Sorry didn’t mean to wake you.” I squint straight up in to Ryan’s eyes and even though I can’t see them clearly, I know they are the most amazing shades of blue. “Oh no, it’s okay, that’s so rude of me to fall asleep, I should get going.” Pulling myself up in to a sitting position pushing the blanket up with me that he’d obviously just laid across me.

  I wipe my hair out of my face as Ryan leans down in front of me with his knees bent and his thighs either side of my legs. “It’s late and I’ve had too much to drink to be able to drive you home” I cringe at his honesty. “I can walk, it’s not too far” I hear him sighing as he runs his hands through his hair “don’t be ridiculous, you’re not walking anywhere at this time of the night” he practically growls. Before I can catch myself I throw a glare in his direction, not that he could tell. I don’t speak. I know his right, plus the couch was really comfortable. I take a deep breath and nod, even if I am complete idiot for staying at their place, looks like it’s happening.

  He nudges my legs back up with the palm of his hand, skimming my calves as I tuck them back up on the couch, throwing the blanket back across me before he stands. He doesn’t make a move to leave. “I can go Ry, just say the word” I feel like his seconding guessing his decision to let me stay. After a couple of seconds, he pivots. “Night Eden” he mutters, stalking off to his room.

  Chapter Ten

  RYAN

  It had been three weeks since that first night Eden stayed over at our apartment. She’d finished some paper she had been working on with Jason earlier and then passed out. Jase and I had been playing Pro Evolution, when I’d looked over to ask her another question she was asleep. After we’d eaten together we’d chatted away easily. She’d even started calling me Ry and Jason Jase after she noticed us doing it. “Surprised she lasted this long” Jase had said while noting Eden’s sleeping form. “What do you mean?” he’d shrugged “I was with Aubree over at hers on Saturday morning and she’d come back from a run, I didn’t get the full story but apparently she doesn’t sleep very well. She goes running when she can’t get back to sleep” he was staring at her and I wondered if he was thinking the same as me, why wouldn’t she be sleeping. “She’d been at it for hours’ man, her feet were all blistered and shit” I remember looking over to her feet but she was tucked in to herself and I couldn’t see much.

  “You asked Aubree after yeah?” I’d asked him “Yeah, but she didn’t tell me much and then she spent the rest of the weekend locked away in the apartment with her.” I’d stared at her sleeping for longer than I should have. “Todays the first time I’ve seen her since and she’s been downing coffee like it’s a life line.” He’d said. I don’t know why, but I wanted to know what was going on and why she wasn’t sleeping. I’d found myself more times than not wanting to know more about the strange little bird that had appeared in our world.

  Since then she’d been back to the apartment a handful of times, of course I’d be at work or would make it home to only get a small portion of time with her. She’d always ask me how my day was and tell me something stupid her or Jase had done that day. We’d been getting pretty good at thi
s “friend” business. Sometimes she would hang around and chat and other times she would take off to go hang out with Aubree. I’d been over to their apartment a few times with the guys always wanting to tag along too.

  It was Wednesday night and we were all going out for dinner; Me, Max, Brad and Aubree. Jase and Eden were meeting us after their class. We were at this popular little place that was an up scaled pub of sorts, one side was sectioned off for drinking and pokies the other had been remodelled in to a restaurant that served some good food with live entertainment. I’d been casually sitting back in my chair talking with the guys when Aubree caught my attention “So you’ve been spending more time with our girl lately” It wasn’t a question and I knew exactly who she was talking about but I just smiled back at her while raising a brow, waiting for it. “It’s good” she surprises me.

  She goes quite for a second, I think she’s trying to figure out whether she should say what she’s about to say. “Eden’s not had the greatest upbringing” she stutters out, causing me to sit forward in my chair, leaning in to the conversation. Before I speak again I make sure Max and Brad aren’t listening. “What do you mean by that Aubree?” she looks over at the boys and back to me shaking her head “It’s not my story to tell, but Jason told me about how you call her ‘little bird’ and you’re right she can be flight or fight” she steadies me with a concentrated gaze “Jason’s also told me about your mum and your childhood” well fuck me, I sit back reaching for my beer and chugging half of it down.

  She waits for me to look back at her “I see the way you look at her, hell anyone can see the way you look at her” I scoff, trying to downplay it. Of course I look at her, she’s beautiful. Is she fun to talk to? Yeah sure. There’s something about her that I can’t quite put my finger on. Aubree grabs my attention back by clicking her fingers in my face. “All I’m saying is, if you’re worried about getting closer to her because you think she’s going to leave, don’t.” I go to speak but am cut off again “She’s loyal to a fault that one, I mean heck, I’m not even sure I like you very much with your whole ‘I don’t want to want her but I don’t want anyone else to want her’ attitude, but if that’s what’s stopping you, then I’m telling you, don’t let it.”

  Sitting back further in my chair, uncomfortable with how close to home she’s hitting. I say the only thing I can think to say “We’re just friends.” She rolls her eyes, I’m sure I see a hint of disappointment in her face before she spots something over my head and breaks out in to a smile. Turning to see what she’s looking at, I spot Jase, Eden and some other guy walking in together. Jase spots us straight away; I watch as he leans in to Eden causing her to breaks off from her conversation with the idiot who’s with her. She acknowledges she heard him but waves him on while she goes back to talking. Jase walks towards the table, leaving her there. “So if you’re just friends you don’t mind that this isn’t the first time he’s been sniffing around.” I can hear the smile in her voice but I don’t acknowledge it. It bothers me alright, I can see the way his looking down at her and although we may just be friends, I know she can do better than that prick.

  I stand and stalk across the room, meeting my brother half way between the table and Eden. “Who’s that?” I ask, not taking my eyes off them over his shoulder. “Kyle something, his trying to convince her to go out for dinner with him another night since she’s already got plans.” I scowl at my brother and continue walking until I reach Eden. Casually slinging my arm around her shoulders and pulling her in to my side, she stumbles a little but catches herself with her hand on my chest. She looks up at me through her long lashes and mumbles out a hello. I smile back at her and then turn my full attention over to the guy standing in front of us. Sticking out the hand that’s not currently wrapped around Eden.

  “Hey man, Ryan” I say. His eyes jump between me and Eden, then to my arm around her and back down to my outstretched hand. But he reluctantly shakes it “Kyle.” Eden tries pulling out of my grip, clearly seeing Kyles uneasy expression. I loosen it a little but don’t let her go, instead letting my hand fall around her waist. “We’ve been waiting to order until you guys got here, Jase will have a fit if we don’t go get some food in to him” I laugh over at Eden as she smiles. “Oh right, okayyyyyy” she drags it out looking back at Kyle, I’m about to drag her off when he speaks. “So Friday night, what do you say?” I freeze, tightening my grip around her waist. “She can’t” answering for her, I see the glare he throws at me and I don’t miss the question in her eyes either “Why not?” he has the balls to ask. “She’s going out with me that night.” I leave it at that and walk away pulling Eden alongside me, she tries to turn and wave goodbye but I don’t make it easy for her and she growls at me, an actual little growl. Fucking adorable.

  Dinner went pretty smoothly after that, the guys gave me crap for acting like a caveman, Aubree smiled knowingly at me and Jason wasn’t hiding his amusement very well either, Eden had decided to act as if nothing had happened at all and went on as normal; asking me how work had been and telling me about the email she’d gotten from her boss detailing the photos they were after. She’d explained her job to me on one of the rare occasions I’d been over at their apartment. She lit up talking about it and some of the projects she’d been involved in. But when I asked her why she wasn’t studying that at University she had played it off as just a little fun on the side. I didn’t buy it.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ryan

  But now Friday had arrived and I hadn’t spoken to Eden any more about our ‘date.’ I’d been staring at the blank message screen on my phone for the past twenty minutes and still hadn’t done anything about it. I wasn’t sure what was stopping me, after realising I had 5 minutes to get my arse to work I grew a pair.

  Me: So what time should I pick you up tonight?

  Little Bird: Who is this?

  Me: Do you have another hot date tonight, who is it? I’ll sort him out.

  Little Bird: Ry?

  Me: The one and only baby, what time?

  Little Bird: We’re not going out Ryan…

  Me: So 6 is good then?

  Little Bird: We are not going out Ryan. We’re friends.

  Me: Ok, so we will just hang out at the apartment.

  She hadn’t replied and for some unknown reason I was worried she’d blow me off.

  Me: Your apartment or Mine?

  Little Bird: Yours. I’ll meet you there. Bye.

  Me: ;-) looking forward to it.

  I can’t remember the last Friday night I wasn’t getting ready to head out and have some drinks with the boys or meeting up with some chick who I knew I’d end up being in bed with by the end of the night. But here I am, I’d heard a knock on the door and was walking over to open it up. When I did I was greeted with Eden standing on the other side. She’s in a pair of tight white jeans and a black silky looking shirt with thin straps, she was wearing the same canvas shoes that she’d been wearing the first time I saw her. Her hair was down with light curls through it, but she’d swept it off to one side. She had some glossy shit on her lips and was smiling up at me showing off her dimple, I’m not sure if it was the dimple or her grey eyes that made me let out a rush of air but she laughed and dipped her head.

  Stepping to the side, while holding the door open. I sweep my hand out; gesturing her in. Ducking past me, she stepped inside. “You look nice” I offer as I follow her in to the lounge room. Looking over her shoulder, she gives me a quick once over “you too… friend.” I know she was throwing that last bit out to make sure I knew that’s what we were, we were two friends hanging out. The problem wasn’t that I wanted a happily ever after with her, I just wanted one night with her. I smiled, shrugging “This is just two friends hanging out and getting to know each other better” I notice her shoulders relax a little as she looked around, maybe looking for Jase “His with the boys.” Nodding, as she turns towards me “I know Brad called me earlier today and told me to come over too.” Of course he
did.

  “Beer?” I ask her as I head to the fridge and grab two drinks, she doesn’t answer straight away; eventually accepting the offer. I crack the cap off before passing it to her, deliberately brushing my fingers with hers as I do. Cracking my own before I walk over to the couch and take a seat, leaving enough room for her but she opts to sit on one of the recliners. I can’t help but roll my eyes at her causing her to laugh. Her laugh seems so foreign on her, like she’s not even used to hearing it. “I ordered us Thai food, I figured it was a safe bet.” Her smile slowly appearing “Sounds good.” She’s quitter then normal, I can’t tell if she’s nervous. Ignoring it, I pick up the remote and flick the TV over to Netflix. We talk about our day as I scroll through the movie options. “Okay, we’ve either got The Hangover or Anchorman.” She responds immediately with Anchorman; I nod in agreement as I flick it on.