“Aidan!” she called, and ran down the hall. “Honey, what’s the matter?”
Aidan was sitting up, looking around, confused, until she saw Vicky’s concerned face. “What? What happened?”
“You were having a nightmare, and a pretty bad one, by the sound of it.”
“Oh God, I remember. I was in Iraq, and we were under attack.”
Vicky sat beside her, and held her hand, waiting for her to say more.
“I…, I remember I couldn’t save a soldier, oh God, Vicky, I just let him die, there in the dirt.”
The vision of the soldier’s dark staring eyes, bore a hole through her heart, that allowed the tears to rush forward. She buried her head in her hands, sobbing. Vicky could count on one hand, the number of times Aidan had cried this deeply. Aidan hated to cry. Her father would tell her that if she cried, he would hit her harder. It took a lot to stir her emotions so profoundly, that she would allow herself to cry this intensely.
“Oh honey, please don’t cry. You don’t know for sure, that’s what happened. Do you remember any more of the dream?”
She rubbed her eyes, and stared into space, trying to recapture the nightmare. “No, just him,” she lowered her head again, in defeat.
Vicky was not going to allow Aidan to accept something as factual, just because she saw it in a dream. She knew there was some element of truth to it, but without all the facts, it was still assumption. “Tell me again, about what you dreamt. Where was the soldier? Was there anyone else there?”
“I was coming out of the Stryker, and saw him lying on the ground, but I…, I ran away. God help me, I ran away!”
“Aidan Marie Cassidy, you stop that right now!” Vicky’s stern voice shocked Aidan out of her despair. “I know you, and I know you did not run away.”
“But my dream?”
“Oh honey, your dream is just a snippet of what you went through. It’s not the whole story.” Aidan laid her head on Vicky’s chest, and held her tight. “Please, sweetheart, please promise me you won’t worry about it, until we can talk with Dr. Kline tomorrow.” Vicky was almost crying herself.
“Would you sit with me for a little while?” Though she would never say it, Vicky knew her lover was afraid to go back to sleep. She laid down, and motioned for Aidan to join her, but she didn’t move.
“Sweetheart, here, lay down with me, and let’s talk,” she touched Aidan’s arm, and cajoled her to lay down. Throwing the blanket over them both, she asked, “There, comfortable?” Aidan nodded her head.
Stroking her lover’s forearm, Vicky began to talk. She talked about when they were kids together, and the sweet memories she had of that time. How Aidan would push her so high in the swing, that she thought she could fly. How they would compete on who would find the four leaf clover first, or catch the most firefly’s. She rambled on for a while, until she felt Aidan’s shoulders droop, and her breathing become even and regular. She knew Aidan was asleep.
“Sweet dreams, darling, only sweet dreams this time.” Finally, both lovers slept, safely held in each other’s arms.
Aidan woke up first, and looked at Vicky, sleeping beside her. The sight of her gave Aidan strength that she hadn’t felt in days. She gently moved Vicky’s soft blond hair away from her face, and smiled, as Vicky’s nose twitched. My God, you are so beautiful. She ran her hand over Vicky’s arm, and up to her face, where she stroked her cheek. She leaned in, and kissed her gently. I love you so much, Vick. Moving her fingers down to her neck, and then further down to her lover’s breast, where she softly, slowly began to massage it, smiling when the nipple puckered.
Vicky moaned in her sleep, and rolled onto her back. Aidan could feel her own heat rising, at the sight of Vicky’s nude body, but that wasn’t what she was after. She had to sit up, in order to avoid the pain from her bullet wound, though she grimaced at the pain shooting through her ribs. Kissing the other breast now, teasing it softly until the tip harden, Aidan gently moved her hand down between Vicky’s legs, and proudly felt her wetness.
Vicky mumbled, and Aidan whispered, “Shh, baby, I’ve got you.”
Softly she inserted her fingers, and began stimulating Vicky, ever so slowly at first, until Vicky began to stir from the sensations. Aidan could feel the pressure building in Vicky, and knew she was close. Gently, she kissed her sleeping lover, teasing her lips, as she accelerated her activity. Vicky’s skin flushed hot, and she arched her back, to press harder against Aidan’s skillful touch. Aidan watched, as Vicky’s eyelids fluttered open, filled with pleasure.
“Good morning again baby, ready to start the day with a bang?” Aidan grinned devilishly, as Vicky grabbed hold of her, giggling uncontrollably. “That’s it, baby.” God, I love to make you giggle.
“Oh God, Aidan,” Vicky growled from the pleasure, “No Aidan, you shouldn’t.” She fought to hold back the climax, afraid of hurting Aidan, but it was too late. She let out a squeal, bucked hard at Aidan’s fingers, and rode the orgasm through every exciting tingle, until she finally collapsed back on the bed.
“Wow, what a way to wake up!” she exclaimed breathlessly.
“Good to know I can still make you giggle, kid.” Aidan’s eyes sparkled a mischievous green.
“Oh, can you ever, lover. I love to feel you inside of me, loving me. But seriously, Aidan, you’re not healed enough to be making me, um…, giggle.”
“Well, it was painless for me, I promise you.”
Vicky looked at her thoughtfully, “I don’t think so. I want, so badly, to take care of your needs, but I’m afraid you would tear your stitches.”
“Don’t worry about me, kid, I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, but when the stitches come out, I’ll give you a double order, how’s that?” she grinned, excited by her own offer.
“Oh, you’ve got a deal, kid.”
“Gosh,” Vicky rubbed her hand across her cheek, “my skin feels like I just had a facial.”
Aidan grabbed her side, as she doubled up with laughter.
***
He sat in his darkened office, rubbing his forehead, to relieve the pounding headache. He knew it was from too much stress. It wasn’t working. His other hand, held an ink pen that he was tapping exceptionally fast. His cellphone lying on the desk, as he was anxiously willing it to ring. When it did finally ring, he dropped his pen, and snatched up the phone.
“Our brother has been captured, and the eagle has flown away. Is the mission over? Should I come in?” He asked breathlessly.
“No, we have a plan to free our brother, but if that doesn’t happen, then you will have the glory of carrying out his mission. Stay where you are, and report in, as predetermined.”
“But I’m just the infiltrator, I don’t know anything about explosives?”
“Neither did he.”
Chapter 11
“Aidan, Victoria, come in, please.” Dr. Kline showed the two women into his office, and offered them a chair. “How are you doing, Aidan?”
“Pretty good actually, thanks.”
“Thank you for seeing us so late in the day, Richard.”
“You both have been through a lot this week, so I promise to go easy today. Victoria, I asked you here, because you hold Aidan’s childhood memories and‒‒”
“More than that, Richard, I have all her letters, from the time she was fourteen. We’ve read a few, but have a lot more to go.”
“That’s excellent. Please, keep reading them, Aidan. They could hold the key to your memories. Now, another reason I wanted Victoria here, is because I feel there’s some miscommunications between you two, that needs to come out.” He sat back and waited for one of them to start.
“I’m not sure what you mean, Richard, I tell Aidan everything.”
“I think he’s talking about me, Vick.” Aidan looked from him over to Vicky. “I mentioned it in our last session.”
“What, Aidan, did I do something wrong?”
“Oh, God no, kid, you did everything right. It was
me. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you, when we were kids. I thought I was saving you from a terrible beating, because that’s how my father punished me. But all I did was lose your trust, and that is eating away at me.” Finally, Aidan took a breath as she lowered her head, and looked at the floor. Vicky was going to protest, but Aidan wasn’t done. Looking back up at her, she continued, “To my dying day, I will regret hurting you like that. I am so sorry.”
Vicky took Aidan’s hands in hers, “Honey, we’ve been through this. Please, don’t blame yourself.”
“There’s no one else to blame.”
“Aidan,” Kline interjected, “how could you have known? I think there’s more to it than that.”
Vicky looked at him, confused, “Like what, Richard?”
“What did your mother do, Victoria? After she caught you two together?”
“Well, she went over to Aidan’s house, the next morning, and talked to her dad.”
“Could you elaborate?”
Vicky thought about it, and her eyes widened, “She was still so upset, and she said she was going to threaten him with the police.”
Kline wrote down some notes, then turned to Aidan, “And Aidan, what would have been your father’s response?”
“Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t kill her.”
Vicky gasped, and shook her head no.
“Vicky, you didn’t know him. Think about it. Do you remember, ever once, talking to my father? I never took you inside my house, I never invited you to anything my father might be at, I never let you get near the man,” Vicky’s eyes grew wide with the recognition, as Aidan continued, “He was a monster, Vick. He beat me a lot more than I let you see, or know about. He’d go into a rage, and wave his gun around, threatening me with it, if I didn’t obey him quick enough. He hated everything about me.”
Vicky was in tears now, “I didn’t know, Aidan, I didn’t know. I should have known.”
Kline interjected, “You didn’t know, Victoria, because Aidan didn’t want you to know. She didn’t want you to hurt, like she was hurting, because you were the one bright spot in her life, the only love she had ever experience, and she desperately wanted to protect that.”
Listen to him, baby, he says it better than I ever could.
“Aidan is a protector, more so than most people. It was instilled in her, at a very early age, to protect those she loves, because she couldn’t protect herself. Just like she protected you from the assassin’s bullet, a few days ago, I think she will always do whatever it takes, to keep you safe, Vicky. So it was, when you were children. In her mind, the only way to protect you from your father's wrath, was to leave you, even if at the time, what she believed to be true about your father was strictly conjecture, on her part. To Aidan, the threat of punishment, whether it be from your father, or her own, was still abuse, most severe.
“Do you forgive me, Vicky?” Aidan asked, fearful of her answer.
Kline delayed Vicky’s answer, by asking another question, “Victoria, can you tell Aidan what you went through, first? It all needs to come out in the open.” Aidan looked at him with confusion. Recognizing that, he added, “There are always two sides to every story, Aidan, and I have a feeling there’s more to Victoria’s story.”
Her eyes full of tears now, Vicky nodded her head at him, and turned to Aidan, “I did actually meet your father, Aidan. After I found your note in the tree house, I went to your house. He…, he said that you told him you hated me, and that’s why you left. He sounded so convincing‒‒”
“That lying mother fucking bastard!” Aidan slammed her hand on the arm of her chair, letting her anger get the best of her, and causing a shooting pain in her wounded arm, “That wasn’t the reason, damn it!”
Vicky put her hand on Aidan’s arm, instantly calming her lover with her warm touch. “I know it wasn’t, Aidan, I had your note, but I didn’t dare show him.”
Kline watched Vicky closely, sensing there was something more left unsaid. “Is there anything else, Victoria?”
She looked at him in shock. How could he have known, what she worked so hard to keep buried, so deep inside her. I can’t, I just can’t, not now! She looked down at her hands.
Confused, Aidan looked at her, “Vicky?”
When she still didn’t answer, Kline had a sudden trepidation, “Victoria…,” then more softly, “Vicky, you are safe here, you can tell us.”
Aidan looked from the doctor to Vicky, and stopped breathing, Oh, my God, no!
“He… he grabbed me and… pulled me into your house, and… and…” Vicky tried to continue, but her tears choked off her voice.
“That’s enough. You don’t have to say any more,” Aidan was trying to protect her lover once again, this time from bad memories. Memories she instantly felt guilty for, by association.
“No, Aidan,” Kline inserted, “If you want to help her, let her get it all out. Go on, Victoria.”
“He… held me down, and told me it was my fault, it was my fault you left, my fault he beat you, my fault…” she choked back another sob.
No! No! That bastard! Aidan was about to lose it, when Kline intervened again.
“Victoria,” he almost whispered, in order to distract Aidan, “That was his way of manipulating you. Don’t let him do that now, all right?”
She focused on his words, and gathered up her courage, “He put his hands on my breasts, and then, then he pulled down my panties, and‒‒”
It was too much, Aidan couldn’t listen to any more. She burst out of her seat, and raked her fingers through her hair, grabbing and pulling, almost ripping it from her head. Why couldn’t I protect her?
As if he could read Aidan’s mind, Kline walked over to her, and admonished in a stern voice, “This is not your fault, Aidan. It’s your father’s. Right now, in this moment, you can choose to support Vicky. Now, when she needs you most. She needs to get this out in the open, and she needs your help to do it. Or you can choose to blame yourself, and risk losing her confidence, altogether.”
Somewhere deep in her brain, she realized he was making sense. She walked back to her seat, and placed Vicky’s hand in hers.
Vicky sobbed, “I’m so sorry, Aidan.”
“No, Vicky, I’m the one who is sorry, so desperately sorry.” Aidan stopped fighting the tears, and looked at her lover, who not only had to live with the sudden disappearance of her best friend, but the aftermath of the rape from her best friend’s father. “Do you think you can finish with what happened?”
She felt comforted by Aidan’s strength of will, but she still couldn’t look at her. She needed to be detached from everyone, in order to continue. With a trembling voice, she whispered, “He pulled down my panties, and unzipped his pants, and…, and stuck his penis inside of me. Oh God, it hurt so bad.” Vicky buried her head in her hands.
Aidan tightened her fingers into a fist. The visualization of her father, on top of Vicky was too much to bear. Her entire body shook, as she fought to contain the anger that was demanding her to hit something.
Kline asked, “Victoria, did you tell anyone?” Vicky shook her head no. “Why not?”
She sobbed, “He told me that if I told anyone, he would…”
Kline softly prodded her on, “Go on, Vicky, he would what?”
“He would kill Aidan.”
Aidan gasped, understanding it all now. As much as Aidan thought she was protecting Vicky by running away, Vicky was sacrificing everything, especially her childhood, to protect her. There can be no greater love than to give your life, for another, be it physically, or as in Vicky’s case, mentally.
If ever there was an example of soul mates, these two are it, Kline thought. “Ladies,” he handed both of them a tissue, giving them time to dry their eyes, “neither one of you have anything to apologize for. If not for your connection as children, Aidan, you most likely would have run away at a much earlier age. Vicky, you still most likely would have run into Aidan’s father. With a man li
ke that, living so close to you, it would have been almost inevitable. Neither of you are at fault. Instead, it is a testament to your love for one another, that you both are as whole and complete, as you are.”
Vicky wiped her eyes again, and looked up at Aidan. “Can…, can you still love me?” She asked meekly.
“Can I still love you?” Aidan turned to Kline for help, because she was confused by the question. She loved Vicky even more now, if that were possible. Vicky had just unknowingly, explained how deep her unconditional love for Aidan, really was.
“I think she means, now that you know she was raped. Some people, for whatever reason, have a hard time getting past that.” Kline explained.
“Oh, baby,” she stood up and pulled Vicky close. Wrapping her arms tightly around her, she looked deeply into her lover’s eyes, “I love you more than you can ever imagine. So much more.”
Kline interjected, “You each sacrificed so much to protect the other, take comfort in that. Build a relationship from that, not from any misguided guilt you might feel, or from any fear you might still harbor. The thing you both need to realize, and take away with you now, is that you saved each other then, and you are still saving each other now.”
The session concluded with the lovers crying in each other’s arms. “Now, go home and get some rest, both of you,” he instructed, as he opened his office door, and showed them out.
They walked down the hallway, silent, holding hands.
Aidan asked, “Are you hungry?”
Vicky shook her head no.
“Want to go home, and watch TV?”
Again she shook her head no.
“Uh… want me to leave you alone?”
“God no!” she grabbed Aidan’s arm.
“Well then, what do you want to do tonight?”
“I want us to go home and talk, just talk together, okay?”
Aidan nodded her head.
***
Later that evening at Vicky’s house, Aidan grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom to change, leaving Vicky to change in the bedroom. It wasn’t because she was ashamed or scared. She just needed a moment alone, to give herself a stern talking to. She needed to calm her anger at her father, because that would not help Vicky. And she desperately wanted to make sure, that Vicky knew how much she was loved. That nothing had changed between them. In fact, thanks to the session today, she felt free of her own baggage, for the first time since her memory of Vicky came back. She felt strong and confident, that she would be able to protect Vicky again. That was the most important thing to Aidan, to protect her best friend and lover.
I Remember You Page 16
