But…it still wasn’t what she wanted.
She didn’t know what she wanted at the moment.
Well, she knew she wanted her marriage back, but that wasn’t going to happen. So she had to focus on what she could have right now – a place to lie down and cry.
After another hour of driving around, her eyes red and heavy from the tears she let fall, Natalie finally parked her car. It took every ounce of strength to climb out and carry her bags. She walked through the door and looked around. The man at the desk smiled at her and she signed in. A quick ride up to the fourth floor and she found herself hardly able to walk. It was sweet relief when the door came into sight.
She knocked once.
Then again a little louder.
Two minutes later, Kayla opened the door. She took one look at Natalie and took her bags from her and put them inside. Then she reached out, hugged her and took her in.
“It’s going to be all right,” she whispered.
And that was when Natalie let the dam break.
****
Kayla walked Natalie over to the sofa and helped her sit down. “I’ll be right back,” she said softly and went back into her bedroom where Adam was asleep in her bed.
“Hey,” he said groggily. “What’s going on? You okay?”
“Natalie’s here. She left her husband.”
He sat up and raked a hand through his hair and yawned. “Damn. That’s gotta suck.” When he started to get up out of the bed, Kayla stopped him. “I doubt you’re going to be coming back to bed and she probably would appreciate not having an audience.”
“Maybe,” she conceded. “But I hate having you leave like this.”
Adam stepped in close and kissed her, deeply and thoroughly. When he raised his head, he smiled down at her as he stroked her cheek. “Go and be a good friend. And call me later.”
“Okay.” She watched him dress and forced herself to wake up because clearly, she was up for the day. “Adam?” she called softly as he went to open the bedroom door.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
He smiled at her and it made her heart beat just a little quicker. She followed him out of the bedroom and kissed him again at the door. She shut it behind him and then went to sit with Natalie. “Do you want some coffee?” Natalie nodded and on her way to the kitchen, Kayla grabbed a box of tissues from her half-bath and brought them to her.
Luckily, she had a Keurig and was able to get a cup of coffee for each of them fairly quickly. When she sat back down, she got comfortable at one end and let Natalie have the other. “Okay, what happened?” she asked quietly.
Kayla realized immediately that Natalie needed to talk. So she sat quietly and sipped her coffee and simply listened. It was obvious she’d kept a lot of things bottled up – and not all of it had to do with the way her marriage changed in the last several weeks. This was a woman who had been trying for far too long to present a particular image to the world and had finally grown weary of it all.
It made her feel bad for all the times she had mocked her and made fun of her because the longer Natalie talked, the more Kayla realized she didn’t know her at all. Hell, she didn’t think Natalie even knew herself any more.
And that was probably the saddest part of this entire situation.
The sun started to come up when Natalie finally laid down on the sofa and drifted off to sleep. Kayla grabbed a pillow and a blanket and helped her to get more comfortable, then she made herself a second cup of coffee before going into her bedroom and closing the door. Once she was comfortable on the bed, she picked up her phone from the bedside table and called Adam.
“Hey,” he said sleepily. “How is she?”
“She’s a mess,” she replied honestly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so broken, Adam. We’ve traveled to some desolate and poverty-stricken areas of the world and even there I don’t think I’ve met someone as broken as Natalie.”
“Damn. That’s so sad. So what are you going to do? Where is she now?”
“She finally fell asleep on the couch. I don’t think she’ll get up any time soon. I wish she had just come in here and slept on the bed, but she was too tired to move. I gave her a pillow and blanket but…the poor thing just looks so damn sad.”
“And she’s going to be for a long time, I’m sure,” he said. “How come she came to you? I didn’t think you guys were that close.”
“I had offered her a place to stay before I went to Nevada. She and Jayce had a big fight right before I left and…I don’t know. I just felt so bad for her and I was starting to see that she wasn’t just this pain in the ass who had to be the authority on everything.”
“Kayla Shaw? Are you getting soft on me?” he teased lightly and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Admit it…you’re starting to turn into a nice girl.”
“Never,” she said with another laugh. “I can be compassionate when I need to be.”
“Well, I think what you’re doing it amazing and I’m sure Natalie appreciates it. And I would like to add that I am beyond impressed with you.”
“Stop, I’m blushing,” she teased back.
“I’m serious, Kayla,” he said soberly. “A year ago, I don’t think you would have taken her or anyone in. It’s nice to see this side of you.”
She had no idea what to say to that so she said nothing.
“Why don’t you grab some sleep while she’s still sleeping and then call me later?” he suggested.
“I don’t know if I can go back to sleep. I’m on my second cup of coffee and I feel like maybe I should at least call Julianne and let her know what’s going on.”
“That’s not a bad idea either. Maybe someone can cover her classes this morning and she can come over.”
“It’s Sunday and she doesn’t normally teach today, but I think I’ll see if her and Harper can come over later - this way Nat can sleep for a while without all of us poking at her.”
“See? You’re a good friend, Kayla.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks.” She paused. “I’m sorry you had to leave. I wouldn’t have minded crawling back into bed if you were here with me.”
“Well…it was better for me to go. I wouldn’t want to be a distraction.”
“And that you are,” she said sassily. “What about you? What are you going to do today?”
“I’ve got grass to mow, laundry to wash and bills to pay. I’m living the dream, right?”
She chuckled. “Yes, you are.”
“Go and rest and call me later if you can,” he said and she heard him yawn. She knew as soon as they hung up that he was going to go back to sleep so she said goodbye so he could go do that.
Taking a sip of her coffee, she couldn’t help but smile. Things were…good. They weren’t completely back on track but she knew they didn’t want to get back on that track – this was a new one. Not that they’d talked about it. After Adam bribed her with her own Chinese food and she took him to bed, they sort of agreed to disagree about the day in his office when he’d ended things. It wasn’t in her nature to let it go at that, but she was trying to be more mature and figure out where they went from here.
She wanted to keep moving forward with him.
She wanted to think about a future with him.
And she wanted to be able to do those things without losing part of herself.
Thinking about Natalie and everything she had just shared, she knew that was a hazard of any relationship – you go into it being an independent person with your own wants and needs and somewhere along the line that changes. You compromise and you make concessions until one day you don’t recognize yourself anymore.
That was not what she wanted.
And it was everything she feared.
That’s why the friends with benefits thing was working so well for her. Unfortunately, it was Adam who was losing himself in that deal and she was trying to remember that. Now she needed to find the balance so didn’t turn completely
in his favor to the point where she was the one lost.
God, why did it have to be so hard to find the balance? Why couldn’t they be like Julianne and Gavin? It was effortless for them! And not in a Natalie and Jayce way where it was all an illusion; they seriously had their shit together! Kayla knew both of them before they started dating and they were the same people now as they were before. What was the secret? How did that happen? Andy why didn’t it happen that way for everyone?
“Nobody knows,” she murmured as she scrolled through her phone and pulled up Julianne’s number. She knew it was early but Jules was an early riser and would more than likely be up.
“Hey,” Julianne said when she answered. “Kind of early for you to be making social calls, isn’t it?”
Kayla chuckled. “Normally, I’d say yes. But I’ve been up since four so it seems later.”
“Four? Why? Was Adam over? Was it a sexy reason?”
Yeah, she hadn’t wanted to share the news of her and Adam being back together until she knew for certain that they were good, but Jules had been able to figure it out right away. She claimed Kayla had an “I just had sex” swagger, but Kayla didn’t believe her.
But damn if she hadn’t proven Jules right the morning after Adam had come to her apartment. She walked into Zumba the next morning and Julianne had pointed her finger at her and yelled, “You had sex! Was it Adam? Oh, I bet it was Adam!”
So yeah, she had a sex swagger and her friend had weird sex radar and somehow it worked for them.
“Unfortunately, it was the least sexy reason in the world,” Kayla said with a sigh.
“Uh-oh…trouble in paradise already? Dammit. I thought you guys were going to be okay.”
“We’re fine, but…Natalie showed up here. With luggage.”
“Oh shit,” Julianne murmured. “Why didn’t she come to me? I don’t understand! I mean it’s great that she felt comfortable enough to come to you rather than going to a hotel and being alone, but…damn.”
“If I had to take a guess, I think she’s embarrassed.”
“And she wasn’t embarrassed to come to you?” Julianne asked incredulously. “The two of you aren’t even that close. I would think she’d want to be with someone who was a little more compassionate toward her.”
Kayla opted to let that snide little comment go.
“She knows you’re getting married and you’re all happy and in love. She’s been pretending everything is wonderful and…it seems like she hasn’t been happy in a long time. After she had that fight with Jayce the day we went dress shopping with you, I offered her a place to stay if she needed one. So I don’t think she was choosing me over you, Jules. She was merely taking me up on my offer.”
Julianne sighed. “I’m sorry. That was bitchy of me to be thinking of myself when this isn’t about me.”
“Bridezilla syndrome,” Kayla teased. “Brides-to-be who think everything is about them.”
“I’ll remind you of that when it’s your turn.”
Right. She was barely able to handle having Adam as a…gulp…boyfriend. There was no way she was going to let her brain go in the direction of a husband and a wedding and all that crap.
“Anyway,” she said, bringing them back on track, “she’s asleep on the couch right now. Jayce doesn’t know where she is and her phone is off so chances are he’s going to come to you first. I think I’m a safe place for her because he’d never think to call me. Hell, I barely know the guy.”
“I’m glad you gave me a heads up. I don’t know what I would have done if he called me or showed up here and threw all of this at me. God…do you think he even knows she’s gone yet?”
“During her whole breakdown, she mentioned how he normally slept late on Sundays and she’d make him brunch. I think we’ve got a couple of hours before the shit hits the fan.”
“Okay, good to know. I’ll let Gavin know too and see if maybe he can have a talk with Jayce and sort of do the whole ‘Get your head out of your ass’ thing.”
“Do you think Jayce would listen? I mean, from everything I know about him, he seems to be a little oblivious. I mean, did he really think that fighting with her and fucking her into oblivion every night was a good thing?”
“That’s kind of a crude way to put it, Kay.”
“Am I lying? He completely manipulated her with sex!” Her hand flew to her mouth when she realized how loud she was. “Damn. Sorry. I don’t want to wake her up.”
“Where are you?”
“In the bedroom with the door closed. I’m sure she’s going to sleep for a while. I swear to you, she was a mess when she got here – walking around like a zombie.”
“Should I come over? I mean, do you want me to come over and talk to her?”
“I think maybe a little later on like around lunch time. Would that work? Do you have plans for today?”
“No. Gavin and I were thinking of going to the flea market but that was really just to have something to do. We both hate just sitting around the house.” She sighed. “I hate this. I hate how everything is just…it’s all crazy right now.”
“I know. But there’s nothing else we can do at the moment. You’re on Jayce-watch. Well, Gavin’s going to be on Jayce-watch. And all we can do is wait.”
“It sucks.”
“I know.” She took a sip of her coffee. “How did dress shopping with your mom go yesterday? I didn’t see any news reports of a mother-and-daughter brawl so I took that as a good sign.”
Julianne sighed loudly. “There were some issues…”
“Uh-oh…”
“Oh, yeah. And of course, it was my mother making a scene and not wanting to admit she was responsible for said scene.”
“Did you take pictures? Video? Did you Facebook Live it and I missed it?” Kayla said with a laugh.
“Damn, I wish I had thought of that, but no. There’s no photographic or video evidence. She had a gown she wanted; they found it for her. But it’s one she had liked for when Harper was going to marry Dom. Everyone thinks it’s in bad taste – including me – for her to get it.”
“Why? It’s obviously not the same dress and she never wore it for another wedding so…”
“It’s in bad taste because every time she talks about it, she refers to it as the dress she was going to wear to…”
“Okay, okay. I get it. Yeah. Tacky.”
“So Harper was upset because of the topic, I’m upset because why can’t she just pick a new dress that isn’t a reminder of Harper’s non-wedding–which I know is a childish way of looking at it, but there it is. And Hailey and her staff were upset because my mother was being so damn difficult! I think yesterday was the first time I saw Hailey flustered. I apologized like a hundred times to her.”
“Why? You weren’t the one making a scene,” Kayla reasoned. “You need to stop doing that, Jules. This is why your mother keeps doing what she’s doing. No one holds her accountable!”
“And how do I hold her accountable, Kay? Kick her out of my wedding? I can’t do that! It’s not right! It’s…ho-ly shit. That’s it. That’s what I need to do!”
“Jules, come on, you can’t kick your own mother out of your wedding. No matter how tempting of an idea it is.”
“No, but…if there’s no wedding, I don’t have to keep putting up with this.”
Kayla bolted upright. “You are not calling off your wedding! Your mother being a brat is no reason to leave Gavin! He’s the perfect man.”
“Oh, please. I’d never leave Gavin. But I would not hesitate to elope,” Julianne stated. “And trust me, it is appealing on so many levels, you have no idea!”
“When did life get like this? So complicated? I mean really…how is it that our lives are all this screwed up?”
“Harper’s doing okay,” Julianne commented.
“Is she? Because it seems like she’s the one having to deal with all this BS from your mom and while yes, she’s dating a hot guy who seems genuinely nice, it doesn’t mean everything
else is good.”
“I’m trying to be optimistic, Kay,” Julianne said with a sigh. “I’ll call Harper sometime after nine. I know she sleeps in on Sundays too. Then we’ll come over to you around noon and we’ll bring lunch. Deal?”
“Sounds good to me. Thanks, Jules.”
****
Putting her phone down, Julianne looked over at Gavin who was sound asleep beside her.
He’s the perfect man.
Yeah, that seemed to be everyone’s take on him and as weird as it may sound, he really was the perfect man.
However, how do you define perfect? She wondered. Everyone’s definition of the word should vary at least a little bit – especially when it refers to a person, shouldn’t it? Gavin was perfect in a lot of way, but he also had his faults and imperfections.
They had been friends all through high school and when he asked her out their senior year, she thought he was crazy. They were friends…good friends…why did he want to mess with that? So she turned him down. They were lab partners, they hung out with the same group of friends and the entire time she thought to herself that he was a great guy – just not boyfriend material for her.
The summer after her freshman year of college, she came home and on a night out with their friends, Gavin showed up too.
He’s changed, she’d thought, and for the first time in all their years of knowing each other, she looked at him and thought…yum. He had filled out and looked way more mature than he had the previous summer. This time when he asked her out, she agreed.
And she had been the happiest girl in the world with him ever since.
If only the rest of the world would stop fucking with her happiness, she’d be thrilled.
Gavin rolled toward her and hummed as he wrapped her in his arms. “That sounded like a pretty intense conversation,” he said sleepily.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” she replied, placing light kisses on his forearm.
“It’s okay, but it sounds like Nat’s in trouble. What do we need to do?”
And see? This was why he was so damn perfect! Gavin was forever ready to help a friend – or stranger – in need. It was just who he was.
Julianne explained the plan to him and then rolled over in his arms and kissed his chest. “This means you may be on the receiving end of Jayce’s frantic search for her.”
The Bridal Squad Page 17
