It never occurred to her, not once in all the propitious visits when she’d been exhausted and a neighbor had arrived to provide succor, that while she’d been acting as Nathan’s hostess in the kitchen, he’d been upstairs entreating, encouraging and exhorting his friends and neighbors to keep an eye out for her while he was confined to his bed.
So when Harry overheard Hattie and Babs talking about how she was a lucky woman to have Nathan Hazard taking care of her, she began asking a few questions.
When Nathan woke up the next morning and stretched with the sunrise, he yelped in surprise at the sight that greeted him at the foot of his bed.
CHAPTER 9
How do you know when a handsome Woolly Westerner is really becoming dead serious about you?
Answer: He invites you to his ranch and shows you a basket overflowing with three hundred unmated socks. You realize your own heart is lost when you begin pairing them.
Nathan wasn’t a good patient. He simply had no experience in the role. He was used to being the caretaker. He didn’t know how to let somebody take care of him. Harry bore the brunt of his irascibility. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Nathan had more than once provoked an argument and found himself shouting at thin air. Over the three weeks he’d spent recuperating, he’d learned that Harry picked her fights.
So when he woke up to find her standing at the foot of his bed, fists on hips, brown eyes flashing, jaw clamped tight to still a quivering chin, he knew he was in trouble.
“I have tried to be understanding,” she said hoarsely. “But this time you’ve gone too far.”
“I haven’t left this bed for three weeks,” he protested.
“You know what I mean. I found out what you did, Nathan. There’s no sense trying to pretend you didn’t do it.”
Nathan stared at her, completely nonplussed. “If I had the vaguest idea what you’re talking about, Harry-et—”
“I’m talking about what you said to Hattie Mumford and Babs and Harve Sinclair and Luke Granger and all the other neighbors who’ve been showing up at my place over the past three weeks to help me. How could you?” she cried. “How could you?”
Harry turned her back on him and walked over to the window to look out at the mountains. “I thought you understood how important it was to me to manage on my own,” she said in an agonized voice.
She swiped the tears away, then turned back to face him. “Do you know how many times over the past three weeks I’ve let you do something for yourself, knowing it was more than you could handle? Sometimes you surprised me and managed on your own. More often you needed my help. But I never offered it until you asked, Nathan. I respected your right to decide for yourself just how much you could handle.
“That’s all I ever wanted, Nathan. The same respect I was willing to give to you.” Her lips curled as she spit out, “Equal partners. You have no concept of what that means. Until you do, you’re going to have a hard time finding a woman to share your life.”
As she whirled and fled the room, Nathan shouted, “Harry-et! Wait!” He shoved the covers out of the way and hit the floor with both feet.
Harry was halfway down the stairs when she heard him fall. She paused, waiting for the muttered curse that would mean he was all right. When it didn’t come, she turned and ran back up the stairs as fast as she could. He was lying facedown on the bearskin rug, his right arm hugged tightly to his body. She fell onto her knees beside him, her hands racing over him, checking the pulse at his throat. “Nathan. Oh, God. Please be all right. I—”
An instant later he grasped her wrist and pulled her down beside him. A moment after that he had her under him and was using the weight of his body to hold her down. “Stop bucking like that,” he rasped. “You’re liable to throw my shoulder out again.”
“You’ll be lucky if that’s all the damage I do,” she snapped back. She shoved at his chest with both hands and knew she’d hurt him when his lips drew back over his teeth.
“That’s it.” He caught both of her hands in one of his and clamped them to the floor above her head. With his other hand he captured her chin and made her look at him. “Are you going to listen to me, or not?”
“I don’t know anything you could say—”
“Shut up and let me talk!”
She pressed her lips into a flat, uncompromising line and glared at him.
“I want another chance,” he began. She opened her mouth, and he silenced her with a hard kiss. “Uh-uh,” he said. “Don’t interrupt, or I’ll have to kiss you again.”
She narrowed her eyes but said nothing.
“I’ve listened to every word you’ve ever said to me since I met you, but I never really heard what you were saying. Until just now. I’m sorry, Harry-et. You’ll never know how sorry. I guess the truth is, I didn’t want you to be able to manage on your own.”
“Why not?” she cried.
He swallowed hard as he released her hands. “I wanted you to need me.” He paused. “I wanted you to love me.”
“Oh, Nathan. I do. I—”
He kissed her hard to shut her up so that he could finish, but somehow her lips softened under his. Her tongue found the seam of his lips and slipped inside and searched so gently, so sweetly, that he groaned and returned the favor. It was a long time before he came to his senses.
“So, will you give me another chance?” he asked.
She smiled. “Will you call off your neighbors?”
“Done. I have one more question to ask.”
“I’m listening.”
“Will you marry me?”
The smile faded from her lips and worry lines furrowed her brow. “I do love you, Nathan, but…”
“But you won’t marry me,” he finished tersely.
“Not right now. Not yet.”
“When?”
“When I’ve proved I can manage on my own,” she said simply. “And when I’m sure you’ve learned what it means to be an equal partner.”
“But—”
She put her fingertips on his lips to silence him. “Let’s not talk any more right now, Nathan. There are other things I’d rather be doing with you.” She suited deed to word and let her fingers wander over his face in wonder. To the tiny crow’s-feet at the corners of his eyes. To the deep slashes on either side of his mouth. To the bristled cheeks that needed shaving.
“Smile for me, Harry-et.”
It was harder than she’d thought it would be. She had just turned down a proposal of marriage from a man she loved. Harry told herself she’d done the right thing. If she’d said yes, she would never have known how much she could accomplish by herself. When she sold her lambs in the fall and paid off the bank, then she’d know for sure. Then, if Nathan held to his promise to treat her as an equal, she could marry him. That was certainly something she could smile about.
Nathan watched the smile begin at the corners of her mouth. Then her lower lip rounded and her upper lip curved, revealing the space between her two front teeth that he found so enchanting. He captured her mouth and searched for that enticing space with his tongue, tracing it, and then the roof of her mouth, and the soft under-skin of her upper lip. Then his teeth closed gently over her lower lip and nibbled before his tongue sought the honeyed recesses of her mouth once more.
Harry groaned with pleasure. She wasn’t an anxious virgin now. She knew what was coming. Her body responded to the memories of Nathan’s lovemaking that had never been far from her mind over the past month since they’d made love. But she saw the flash of pain when Nathan tried to raise himself on his arms. And that took away all the pleasure for her.
“Nathan. Stop. I think we should wait until your shoulder’s better before—”
He rolled over onto his back and positioned her on his belly, with her legs on either side of him. “There. Now my shoulder will be fine.”
“But how…”
His hands cupped her breasts through her shirt, his thumbs teasing the nipples into hard buds. “Use your i
magination, sweetheart. Do whatever feels right to you.”
Harry smiled. Nathan wasn’t wearing a shirt. She took both of his hands and laid them beside him on the bearskin rug. “Don’t move. Until I say you can.”
Then she leaned over and circled his nipple with her tongue. His gasp widened her grin of delight. Her fingertips traced the faint traces of bruise that were the only remaining signs that he’d dislocated his shoulder. Her lips soothed where her fingers had been. She traced the length of his neck with kisses and nipped the lobe of his ear. Then her tongue traced the rim of his ear, and she whispered two words she’d never thought she’d say out loud to a man. She saw his pulse jump, felt his breath halt. The guttural sound in his throat was raw, filled with need.
His hands clutched her waist and pulled her hard against him, but she sat up abruptly. “You’re not playing by the rules, Nathan,” she chastised, placing his hands palm down on the floor. “No touching.” She smiled a wanton, delicious smile and added, “Yet.”
She felt his hardness growing beneath her and rubbed herself against him through his jeans.
“Harry-et,” he groaned. “You’re killing me. Whatever you do, just don’t stop,” he rasped.
Harry laughed at his nonsensical request. She reached down and cupped him with her hand, and felt his whole body tighten like a bowstring. Her exploration was gentle but thorough. By the time she was done, Nathan was arched off the floor, his lower lip clenched in his teeth.
“Have I ever told you what a gorgeous man you are, Nathan?”
“No,” he gasped.
“You are. These high cheekbones.” She kissed each one tenderly. “This stubborn chin.” She nipped it with her teeth. “Those blue, blue eyes of yours.” She closed them with her fingertips and anointed them with kisses. She moved down his body, her fingertips tracing the ridges and curves of his masculine form, her mouth following to praise without words.
With every caress Harry gave Nathan she felt herself blossom as a woman. She wanted a chance to return the pleasure he’d given her on Nyla’s Meadow. She unsnapped his jeans and slowly pulled the zipper down. She started to pull his jeans off, then paused. Her hand slipped into his pockets one by one. Right front. Left front. Right rear. In the left rear pocket she found what she was looking for. “My, my,” she said, holding out what she’d found. “Mr. Prophylactic.”
“I don’t know how that got there,” Nathan protested.
“Just thank goodness it was and shut up,” Harry said with a laugh. She dropped the condom onto the bearskin nearby and finished dragging Nathan’s jeans down, pulling off his briefs along with them, leaving him naked. And aroused.
She couldn’t take her eyes off him. She certainly couldn’t keep her hands off him. She opened the condom and sheathed him with it, taking her time, arousing him, teasing him, taunting him.
Nathan had reached his limit. He grasped Harry-et’s shirt and ripped the buttons free. Her jeans didn’t fare much better. He had her naked in under nine seconds and impaled her in ten. She was slick and wet and tight. “You feel so good, Harry-et. Let me love you, sweetheart.”
Harry felt languorous. Her body surged against Nathan’s. He put a hand between them, increasing the tension she felt as he sought out the source of her desire. When she leaned over, he captured her breast in his mouth and suckled her. Sensations assaulted her: pleasure, desire, and her body’s pulsing demand for release.
“Nathan,” she gasped.
His mouth found hers as his hands captured her hips. They moved together, man and woman, part and counterpart, equal to equal.
Harry clutched Nathan’s waist, arching toward the precipice, reaching for the satisfaction that was just beyond her reach.
Nathan felt her tensing, felt her fight against release. “Let go, sweetheart. It’s all right. Soar. Back to Nyla’s Meadow, darling. We can go there together.”
Then it was too late for words. She was rushing toward satisfaction. Nathan stayed with her, his face taut with the passion raging within him. She cried out, and he thrust again. A harsh sound rose from deep in his throat as he released his seed.
Harry felt the tears coming and was helpless to stop them. They stung her cheeks, hot and wet. Nathan felt them against his face and raised his head in disbelief.
“Harry-et?”
She reached a hand up to brush the golden locks from his brow. “It’s all right, Nathan. I just felt so…overwhelmed for a moment.”
He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. “You have to marry me Harry-et. I love you. I want to keep you safe.”
Harry buried her face in his shoulder. “I love you, Nathan, but it scares me.”
“How so?”
“It’s taken me a long time to get the courage to strike out on my own. I’ve hardly had a chance to try my wings.”
“We’ll learn to fly together, Harry-et.”
What she couldn’t explain, what she hardly understood herself, was her fear of surrendering her newfound control over her life. Nathan needed to be needed. She loved him enough to do anything she could to make him happy. That gave him a great deal of power. She simply had to find a way to accept his gestures of loving concern…and still keep the independence she was fighting so hard to achieve.
A knock on the door sent them both scrambling for their clothes.
“That’ll be Luke,” Nathan said as he yanked on his jeans. “I told him I wanted to talk over the plans for his bachelor party.”
“Abigail’s likely to be with him,” Harry said as she tied her buttonless shirt in a knot. “I wanted to make sure it’s all right with her to plan a combination bridal/ baby shower.”
They finished dressing at almost the same time, then stood grinning at each other.
“Shall we go greet our guests?” Nathan asked.
“I’m ready.”
Harry fitted herself against Nathan as he slipped his arm around her shoulder for support. It took them a while to get downstairs, but Nathan had already shouted at Luke to let himself in and make himself at home. Sure enough, when they reached the living room, they found that Abigail was with him. After exchanging greetings, Nathan and Luke settled down in the living room while Harry and Abigail headed for the kitchen.
Luke waited only long enough for the two women to disappear before he asked, “Did you ask her?”
“Yep.”
“So?”
“She said she’d think about it.”
“For how long?”
Nathan thrust a hand through his hair in frustration. “She didn’t give me a definite timetable. But at least until she sells her lambs in the fall.”
“Guess that shoots the double wedding,” Luke muttered.
“There’s no reason why we can’t go ahead and plan your wedding to Abby,” Nathan said.
“We’ve got a few months yet before the baby comes. I’m willing to wait a while.” He grinned. “I’ve gotten sort of attached to the idea of having a double wedding with my best friend.”
Nathan smiled. “What’s Abigail going to say about the delay?”
“You won’t believe this, but I’m the one in a rush to get married. Abby says she won’t love me any less if we never have a ceremony and get a legal piece of paper that proclaims us man and wife.”
At that moment Harry was hearing approximately the same speech from Abigail’s lips.
“I’m willing to wait to have a ceremony until you and Nathan can stand at the altar with us,” Abigail said. “Really, Harry, I can’t believe you turned him down!”
“I had no idea you and Luke were thinking about a double wedding with the two of us,” Harry said as she measured the coffee into the pot.
“Well, now that you know, why not change your mind and say yes to Nathan?” Abigail said with an impish grin.
Harry pursed her lips. “I’m sorry to throw a screw in the works, but I have some very good reasons for wanting to wait.”
“Fear. Fear. And fear,” Abigail said.
> “Do I hear the voice of experience talking?”
Abigail bowed in recognition of the dubious honor. “But of course. You’re speaking to a woman who was afraid to fall in love again. Everyone I had ever cared about had died. I didn’t want to face the pain of losing someone else I loved.”
“But Luke is perfectly healthy!” Harry exclaimed.
“Reason has very little to do with fear. What is it you’re afraid of, Harry?”
Harry poured a cup of coffee and stared into the blackness. “That I’ll be swallowed up by marriage to Nathan.” She turned and searched out Abigail’s green eyes, looking for understanding. “I’m just learning to make demands. With Nathan it’s too tempting to simply acquiesce. Does that make any sense?”
“Like I said, there’s nothing rational about our fears. I know mine was very real. You just have to figure out a way to overcome it.”
“I thought I was taking a big step just coming to Montana,” Harry said. “Nathan’s proposal strikes me as a pretty big leap into a pretty big pond.”
“Come on in,” Abigail said with a smile. “The water’s fine.”
Harry couldn’t help smiling back at Abigail. She had come to Montana knowing there were battles to be fought and won. At stake now was a lifetime of happiness with Nathan. All she had to do was find the courage to deal with whatever the future brought.
There was yet another war to be fought, but on an entirely different field. Harry wanted to convince Nathan it wasn’t too late to pursue the dreams he’d given up so long ago. She had already put her battle plan in motion.
While searching for some extra sheets in a linen closet, Harry had discovered Nathan’s drafting table. It was in pieces, and she’d spent the past few weeks finding the right place to locate it. She had finally set it up in front of the window that overlooked the majestic, snowcapped Absarokas. Surely such a view would provide the inspiration an aspiring architect needed.
She’d seen Nathan eye the table when they’d come downstairs to greet Luke and Abigail. She knew that as soon as the couple left, she would have some fast talking to do. As Nathan waved a final good-bye to Luke and Abigail, Harry walked into the living room and settled herself in the rocker that Nathan usually claimed.
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