Life had been different on the trail, where they talked as equals, working together to bring the hogs to the Cumberland Gap. When it had been just the two of them. If they had stayed on the trail for a day or two longer, he would have made her his wife in all the ways that a husband and wife become one. But that hadn’t happened. Instead, they came upon her parents, tied and gagged. He’d met with Sawyer Bishop and paid off Hiram Greene’s debt. He thought back on the conversation with Bishop that caused Urias to start wondering about Prudence’s true intentions. Had he misjudged her?
Urias planted the ax in the tree and walked back to the cabin. “Prudence?” he called out.
He ran into the house, but she was gone.
He ran to the large farmhouse. “Mom, have you seen Prudence?”
“No. She left awhile ago, looking for you.”
“She found me. If you see her again, would you tell her that I’m looking for her?”
“Yes. Is everything all right?”
“No, but it will be.”
Urias ran out to the barn. His mare was missing. “Where did she go?” He mounted the stallion and tracked her heading to Creelsboro. Before long, he caught up to her, riding the mare without a thought in the world.
“Prudence,” he called.
She turned around. “Urias?”
“Stop,” he ordered. “Please.” He softened his tone.
She halted the horse.
“Prudence, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Why?” Tears began to fall from her already red and swollen eyes.
Urias’s gut tightened. “Because I want our marriage to work.”
“Why?”
Urias closed his eyes. Why did he want their marriage to work? “Because I want us to get back to the trail. I want us to try to be the people we were on the trail.”
“I haven’t changed.”
Urias looked down at the reins in his hands, then looked up at her. “Prudence, Sawyer Bishop told me that your father had tried to pay him off once before.”
“Oh?”
“He said your father offered to give you to Sawyer as his mistress to pay off the debt.”
“He did what?” Prudence’s face reddened with anger. “So this is why you believed I was in on some scheme with my father?”
“Yes, I’m ashamed to say. Can you forgive me?”
“Forgive you? I want to—”
“I’m sorry, Prudence.”
“The more I learn of his business dealings, the more ashamed I am of my father. He tried to sell me?”
“That’s what Sawyer said, although I don’t know that his word is any more trustworthy than your father’s.” Urias dismounted and reached up to Prudence, encouraging her to come down from the saddle. “Let’s sit down over here.” He pointed to a browned grassy hill.
Prudence started to cry all over again. He held her in his arms, taking in the sweet fragrance that was her unique scent. He’d missed that. After a few moments, he lifted her face and pushed back a few strands of hair. “Can we start over?”
“Why would you want to?” she sniffled.
Urias smiled. There was hope. “Because I’d like to get to know my wife, the real woman, not the image I’ve concocted in my mind based on what others have said and done.”
A slight smile edged up the corners of her mouth. “I’d like that.”
Unable to let the moment slip through his hands, he pulled her close and kissed her. As with their first kiss, their passions ignited. Urias pulled back first. “Honey, I…I mean, we can’t.”
She knitted her eyebrows, and a delicate wrinkle formed in the center of her forehead.
“What I’m trying to say—and doing a miserable job of it—is that if we are to be man and wife, I don’t want it to be because of our marriage at your parents’ house. I want us to be married in my church, with God’s blessing.”
A smile lit up her face. “I’d like that, too.”
“So would I. But first, let’s wait a bit and make certain this is what we both want.”
“Urias? Can I be perfectly honest with you?”
His heart thundered in his chest. “Yes.”
“I’ve been in love with you since we were on the trail.”
“Really?” Urias beamed.
“Yes. It must be those green eyes.”
Urias wiggled his eyebrows. “Mom always said my wife would fall in love with them. When you’re a teen with my coloring, you’re made fun of—a lot.”
“I think you’re rather handsome.” Prudence blushed.
Urias leaned forward. Prudence blocked his lips with her fingers. Why she was stopping the kiss made no real sense, even to her, except that they both had said they wanted to wait and have a real wedding.
Urias leaned back. “You’re right. We’ll need to take this slowly.”
“Urias, if we’re to be husband and wife, am I to strictly follow your orders, or do I have a say in matters?”
Urias chuckled, then picked up a small twig. “I want to hear your opinions. I valued your advice and insight on the trail. I just couldn’t get past my anger.”
“You had a right to be angry. But wouldn’t it have been wiser to speak with me about it?”
“Perhaps. But under the circumstances, I doubt I would have trusted your word any more than that of any other stranger,” he said.
“Ouch.”
“I’m sorry, but we need to be honest. I don’t want there to be any further secrets between us.”
“Agreed.” Prudence sat back, balancing herself on her elbows. She looked up at the sky. “Do you think winter will end soon?”
“I hope so. I want to get our house done.”
“Will Kate be moving in with us?” Prudence could feel the heat rise on her cheeks.
“I’ll have to speak with my parents. If they’re agreeable to let her keep my old room, then I don’t see why she would need to stay with us. At least not at first. I’m torn, Prudence. I want Katherine to feel like the place is hers but…”
“Will she ever feel that way about any place?”
“Exactly. She and I have talked some. She’s still pretty angry with God, but she’s coming around. I can’t say that I blame her for feeling bitter, considering some of the things she’s gone through.”
“I know. She said that it’s hard to believe in a loving and compassionate God when she’s seen so little evidence in her own life. Part of what attracted me to you in the beginning, Urias, was watching you live out your faith. However, I was beginning to question your faith in the past couple of months.”
“Ouch.” Urias chuckled.
“You said, be honest.”
“That I did. And I can’t say I blame you for wondering. It bothered me to sell Bullet, but that was minor compared to what I thought you had been a part of.”
“Do you really think my father would have sold me?”
“I honestly don’t know. He certainly was a desperate man.”
“He was getting more and more upset with my not producing a suitor, and all the men I discussed finances with seemed to think I had two heads. But you never did. That’s another thing that attracted me to you, I might add.”
“I love how you sacrificed yourself for a friend. When I saw your feet all marred up on the trail and your not complaining about it, I thought to myself, ‘she’s an amazing woman.’ ”
Prudence smiled. “Where do we go from here?”
Seventeen
Shaking off the dust and pieces of dried grass was easy compared to the shakes in his legs. He’d just committed to Prudence, even asking her to remarry him. If only he could get his stomach to relax. He opened his hand and offered it to Prudence. She slipped her delicate fingers into his rough, open palm. Again he fought down a surge of trembling born of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him whenever they were close. She loved him. She’d loved him for a while, and he’d never known it.
He scrutinized the fine lines of her face. Was she shaky as
well? “Nervous?”
“Terrified. Are you sure?”
He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
“That sure, huh?”
He swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke. “Honey, I’m unsure what to say, how to act around you.”
“Be yourself, Urias. That’s the man I fell in love with.”
“I can do that.” But could he tell her that he loved her? Did he love her? Or was there a part of him just trying to make do with a situation that he’d gotten himself into without thinking, just reacting?
He helped her up to her horse. She felt wonderful in his hands. There was a connection between them, but would it last?
“I think you’re right about waiting awhile, Urias. Let’s make sure we’re doing the right thing this time.”
“Yes. How long do you want to wait?” he asked and mounted his horse.
“For spring? Summer?” she suggested.
“I should have most of the house ready by spring. We can aim for that.”
“What about your parents? What will they think about all this?”
That I should have done this a long time ago. “They like you, Prudence. They’ll be fine with our choice. It’s a sensible one, don’t you think?”
“Yes, but…”
He lifted his reins and waited for her to continue. She went no further. Should he pry? There was the matter of not keeping secrets one from the other, but did that include all of your innermost thoughts? “But?”
“Nothing, really.”
“Do you have doubts about our getting married—I mean a real marriage?”
She looked away from him and up the hill at an outcropping of granite protruding at an odd angle from the steep slope. He’d never noticed that before.
“Yes, there’s a part of me that would like to be married. Then there’s a part of me that has wrestled with our marriage having been the most regrettable decision I’ve ever made.”
Ouch. She’s really being honest. “I’ve wrestled with the same, but, given the same circumstances, I’m not sure I would have done it differently.”
“Kate needed our help.”
“Agreed. But our marriage, if there is to be a real marriage, can’t be based on what anyone else needs or wants.”
“That’s my point. If we are to truly have a real marriage, we ought to at least start by courting. I mean…I realize we’ve been living in the same house and have spent numerous days on the trail together but…”
Urias hadn’t thought about courting. They were married already. The church wedding wasn’t even required, legally, although he felt in his heart it was necessary. But courting—does a man really have to go through all those fancy steps? She’s already said she loves me, he argued with himself.
“If you’re thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’, that’s exactly why we need to court.”
“Huh?” Urias scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t get it. We’re already married. Why would I need to…” He caught himself before he set a waterfall in motion. He was missing something here, he knew. She knew it, too, and it wasn’t likely she’d tell him. He’d have to figure this out on his own somehow.
“I don’t think we should make any marriage plans.”
Urias shook his head, blinked, and kept himself from sticking his finger in his ear to see if he truly had heard what he thought he heard. “But I thought we just settled that we’d aim to get married in the spring.”
She wasn’t going to give him a hint of what was on her mind, he realized, and at the moment, he wanted to be upset with her for not telling him. Instead, he found himself wondering what he didn’t understand and why it was so important to her to be courted.
“Urias.” She reached over and placed her hand upon his. “I’ll go back to the house with you, where we can think about this for a few days. Is that fair?”
He nodded, not sure what he had done to cause this change in plans. Hadn’t she just confessed her love for him? Didn’t they just share a tender and passionate kiss? What more is there? I even told her I wanted to get the marriage right and marry in front of You, Lord. Please help me out here.
The world was silent. A cardinal—male, judging by its brightly colored feathers—perched on a tree and sang out loud and shrill. Was he laughing at Urias not understanding or simply trying to tell him what the answer was? In either case, Urias didn’t know, so he waited for Prudence to turn her horse around before he turned his. They headed back to the farm together, but even more distant than they had been for the past three months.
What have I done now?
❧
Prudence fought down her anger. She wouldn’t tell Urias what she longed to hear him say. She wanted him to treat her as if she had worth to him. She wanted to be cherished, at least just a little bit. She knew it would take years before Urias would ever confess his love for her, but he could show some respect. I guess that’s why I want him to court me, Lord. Am I wrong? Am I expecting too much from a man, from Urias? Shouldn’t a wife be treasured? At least in a little way? she prayed.
“Prudence,” Urias called out as his horse trotted up to her. “What’s wrong? Forgive me for being ignorant, but I honestly don’t know what I’ve done this time.”
Prudence gently pulled back on the reins. She scanned his wonderful green eyes, pleading for her understanding. “A woman,” she stammered, looking for the right words. “Me—I really don’t want a marriage just for the sake of a marriage. I want to know that my husband cares for me.”
“I care,” he defended.
“Urias, look at your parents. They love one another. They show it in the little things they say and do for one another. I’m not saying I’m expecting you to love me like that. I know that our marriage will always have the blackened past of how we began as husband and wife. But…”
Urias climbed down off his horse and came up beside her, reaching up for her. “Come on.” He held up his arms. “We have more to talk about.”
She wanted to fall into his embrace but stayed firmly planted in her saddle. “Wouldn’t it be best to give us a couple days to think about this?”
“No, I think we need to talk more. I’ve upset you. I’ve apparently said some things wrong. We need to clarify everything in order to be able to think for a while. If’n you need some time to think after we have a clear understanding of our future, that would be fine.”
Prudence released the reins and slid into his proffered embrace.
“That’s better. Now, the Good Book says we ought not to let the sun go down on our anger.”
“The Good Book also says husbands are to love their wives. Should we be married if you don’t?”
“I do love you. I mean,” he stammered, “I think this love can grow, but it’ll need time.”
He loves me. Prudence held back a smile. “What kind of love do you have for me?”
He sat on the ground and waited for her to join him. “Most of the time, it’s love one shows another person. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you. I feel a sense of duty to protect you. Not really duty—I don’t know if I can explain it. It’s kinda like my father’s protective love for his family, but I know it isn’t as strong as that. However, if anyone tried to hurt you, I would fight for you. I will protect you.”
Prudence took in a deep breath. It’s a start.
“You say you love me, Prudence, but how do you know it’s the love a wife should have for a husband? How do you know it isn’t just physical attraction? We both have to admit, there is a powerful attraction between us.”
The heat of a deep blush spread across her cheeks and down her neck. “I don’t know why or how I love you. I know it doesn’t make much sense. It’s little things, really… . How you care for Kate… How you sacrificed for her. How you treated Mrs. Campbell and others on the trail. There’s a million little things you’ve done that make me think I love you. I guess that’s why it’s so hard to stay living here, knowing you don’t care for me in th
e same way.”
Urias chuckled. “There’s a ton of little things that I love and admire about you, too. It’s the way you are with the children, the way you sacrificed for Katherine, and the way you help others and give of yourself. Even the way your mind works with numbers—to name a few.”
She held back the tears.
Urias leaned over and faced her, their noses less than an inch apart. “You need to hear these things, don’t you?”
She nodded.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Prudence, inside and out. I’ll admit I don’t know if the passion I feel is the basis for the deep love a man and wife should share, but I believe God will honor us if we honor Him. I’m willing to work on being a good husband if you’re willing to work on being a good wife.”
“What do you want in a wife?” she asked, silently praying it was more than her father wanted from his wife yet less than some of the things he’d grown to expect from her mother over the years.
“That’s a hard one. I want your help in financial matters, and I think together we can build a good farm for breeding horses. But I want you to be willing to make me talk when I want to be alone. Sometimes I’ll need to be alone, but somehow I need my wife to be able to figure out when those times are. I’m like my dad in that respect. I can spend weeks at a time away from anyone and be very happy. Mom will be able to help you understand how to keep me from my shell of solitude. Oh, and my wife needs to cook.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“I think I can do that.”
“I know you can.” Urias reached over and traced his thumb across her jawline. “Daily kisses from my wife would be another good thing.”
She swatted his hand. “You’ve had your daily limit.”
Urias let out a guttural laugh. “I didn’t say a single kiss, my dear. I said kisses.”
❧
Urias planed down the rough wood to put the finishing touches on his and Prudence’s bed. It would be his wedding present to her. Unfortunately, she’d seen it the day he proposed to her. Courting Prudence turned out to be a good thing, he decided. They were learning more and more about one another, and the desire to be married to Prudence grew steadily each day. The wedding had been planned for one month from now, and he had precious little time to finish the house. Katherine had decided to stay in the big farmhouse and help Pam with the children. Mom was expecting another child and was having a difficult time getting around. Katherine saw she was truly needed and appreciated being asked to help out.
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