by Alexia Purdy
“We’re here to fine-tune your ice magic,” he said without opening his eyes.
I glanced at him, curiosity filling me up. Was he sincere? Was he playing with my feelings? I doubted it. Corb was a complex creature void of absolute reason or concrete thought. If he wanted something, he took it. If he ached to destroy something, he commanded his troops to do so. If he wanted to disappear and join the Unseelie army ranks and rise to lieutenant, he did so. He was used to having his way, and it was something that made me wonder if I could ever truly match wits with him.
“Okay then, where do I start?”
He finally opened his eyes and turned, dropping his arms to his sides. There was that smile again. He appeared more mortal now than ever before. I blushed, looking away. How did he do that? I’d never felt anything toward Corb, yet here he was, acting as though he’d taken me on a date, and we were about to embarrass ourselves skating on the ice.
“I wanted you to return here to my palace because you’ve never truly seen it in all its glory.”
My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“Close your eyes, feel through the ice. Tell me what you sense.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “There’s nothing but ice and cold here.”
“Just try. Please, Shade?”
Was he begging? Corb begging was more outlandish than anything that had happened to me the past year. I groaned and closed my eyes, willing to try, but not for long. I breathed out, knowing my breath had puffed out into the air like fog.
At first, I felt nothing but the freezing air along my skin, though it no longer bothered me as an Ancient as it had when I was part human and part faery. Like a curtain spreading, I felt a jolt of life as though it’d been there the whole time and I had to but open the door to it.
I gasped. “What’s happening?”
The ice façade faded, and before me, dancing across the ice, were a myriad of dancers. It was as though we were in a ballroom full of people laughing, drinking, chatting. Nothing bothered them, and they looked at Corb and me with nothing but awe and respect, tilting glasses toward us, bowing and curtsying as they passed. My mouth fell open, and I gawked at them in their finery, with masks upon their faces, ornate and glimmering beneath the shining ice chandeliers.
“Honey wine, milady?” A waiter announced, holding out a tray of glasses. Each drink was decorated with beads of ice. In fact, the glasses themselves looked to be made of hardened ice, but they were as clear as crystal, showing off the bubbling honey wine inside. I took one and glared perplexedly at Corb as he also took one and sipped at it. His eyes shined, though without irises, there was no way he’d be mistaken for a mortal.
Laughter and murmurs of conversation echoed across the room.
“What is this, Corb? An illusion?”
“No. This… is my kingdom. I have always kept it hidden from prying eyes. Only the Ancients can see my court as it truly is. These are faeries who have chosen to join my hierarchy and live invisible to all except my court. It keeps them safe, which is what they came here for in the first place. We all have courts, my dear, sweet Shade. Now you can see it, but when you were but a mere human, you hadn’t the capacity to perceive it as it truly is.”
“They were here? The entire time Dylan and I roamed these halls?”
He nodded. “Yes, they were. Who do you think made your meals? Laundered your clothes? Cleaned up after you two? You are pretty high maintenance for a human.”
“They could see us but we couldn’t see them?” I mumbled, stupefied. I couldn’t imagine this had been going on around me the entire time. Before, the invasion of privacy would have shocked me. Now it was all just amusing to observe. These people were from all parts of the faery world, exiled, tossed to the wolves, left on the sidelines. They were the abandoned souls of faery, the outcasts and the abhorrent. This was their safe harbor and paradise.
“Yes. They see everything, but no one sees them except each other and us. As Ancients, we are their rulers. It’s another dimension where we are truly their gods.”
I stared at the crowd, feeling less shocked and more enticed to begin dancing. Were they bespelled? Was it truly as charming as it appeared, or was this another illusion? I couldn’t tell the difference, could I?
No, I could. I was immune to all magical glamours and spells. No one could hide anything from me anymore. This realization made me smile as I turned toward Corb, knowing it might remind him of the past, perhaps with Kilara, but there was a point to this. To kill the past, one must make a future.
“Dance with me.” I held out my hand. I wanted to feel the music in my bones, to feel alive again. Only movement could reawaken the sleeping girl inside me, even if it meant evoking Kilara’s memories. I had to know every bit of myself if I wanted to find my way back.
Corb gave me a funny look, and a flash of something surfaced in his eyes. Was he thinking of Kilara? Did I really care? No, I did not. She was gone, and even though her actions had destroyed everything I loved, I would overcome it all. I could do it now, even if it took me an eternity.
I tugged at his hand and pulled him to the dance floor. They were dancing a traditional waltz, and he took the position as lead, placing a hand on my waist with the other gripping on to my free hand. He stared hard into my eyes, and I did not waver or look away. Letting him lead us around the dance floor, I let the music fill me where I was empty. The hole was fathoms deep.
My children, Dylan, Soap, my sister and brothers… where were they now? Were they okay? Was Anna any better?
I gasped, feeling suddenly dizzy, and the entire room froze.
“Shade? Are you all right?” Corb stopped and held me out at arm’s length, his eyes bewildered.
“I—I left my sister when she was sick. I left my family when they needed me. Soap is frozen in sleep, and I left him!”
“You did not leave them. You are not the same person you were before. You cannot continue living the same way.”
“But… you don’t get it. I would never leave them, and I did.” I stepped back, horrified, barely aware that everyone in the room had frozen. All the people who’d been laughing and dancing were still, unable to move. Eyes blinked around the room, making it very apparent to me that they were all still alive, only unable to speak, unable to dance, unable to scream.
“Shade, it’s all right. This new life is just that, new. All of us had to go through this. It gets easier, trust me. You may even be able to return to your family in time. You need a chance to adjust, as they do. You need to breathe.”
“I can’t breathe. I’m stuck, I’m stuck.” I grasped at my neck, feeling like the air had disappeared. Everyone in the room moved at once, all mimicking my movements, grasping at their throats and gasping for air in horrified silence.
“Shade!” Corb’s voice pulled me back, and the look of horror on his face made me realize something was wrong. “Shade, you need to breathe. You’re killing them. They cannot breathe either. Whatever you do, they do. They’re under your thrall.”
I shook my head as I gasped and whirled around. The room continued to spin, the dancers turning paler than they had been before. They gasped, their hands at their throats like mine. They spun.
“How?” I stopped and closed my eyes. I had to breathe. I was killing Corb’s court without meaning to do so. How was this even happening? And was he helpless to stop me?
Breathe, Shade. Breathe.
I let go of my throat, air squealing as it passed down my esophagus. Finally, I heaved breaths of air as I fell to my knees. The same moment, the mass of courtesans also dropped to the icy ground in unison. The icy palace rumbled beneath my feet, discontent with my magical intrusion.
This was it. I had killed them all.
Chapter Eleven
Benton
The hospital stunk of bleach, alcohol wipes, and latex, making me want to throw up. I paced in the waiting room as Isolde watched the TV perched in the corner, trying her best to avoid the sick and injured peo
ple around us. Every two seconds someone coughed in her general direction, which deepened her frown each time it happened. How she wasn’t pacing alongside me, wearing out a path near the door, was beyond me.
The security guard had an eye glued on me. Did he think I was going to cause trouble? I silently sent a calming charm his direction but had to reinforce it when it bounced off him without any effect. So he had some sort of watered-down faery heritage in his bloodline. No problem. He didn’t even know he was partly from a magical family. It was probably too far back to trace. A little more oomph in my spell took care of that.
I approached one of the triage nurses whose glasses kept slipping down her wide nose. “How much longer before we know anything?”
“Who are you inquiring about?”
I gave the nurse a look of disbelief. She’d just triaged Anna half an hour ago.
“Anna Dyer. She’s my sister.”
“One moment. I’ll check with the nurse and then call you when I have the information. Next!” she called out to the waiting room. “Avery Phillips!”
I backed away as a man as old as dust shuffled his way toward her window. I groaned and plopped down next to Isolde, who was having a hard time saving the seat beside her and had resorted to piling it up with coats she’d pulled out of nowhere. She discreetly made them disappear when I sat down.
“I can’t believe this. They all swarmed over her like vultures, but they won’t tell me anything about what’s going on with Anna.”
“Let them work. Human medicine is a lot slower than faery magic. You forget so quickly. You’ve been in Faerie too long.”
“I hate Faerie. I have not been there long. I hole myself up in my house all the time. I absolutely loathe Faerie. It has taken everything from me, and it can shove its magic up its own backside.”
“Shh.” Isolde patted my knee as she nodded toward a wide-eyed little girl who was paying very close attention to our conversation. “You might want to keep your voice down.”
“Fine,” I whispered as I feigned a smile at the little girl. She looked away and snuggled her doll, which had crazy, curly strawberry hair. She sniffed its scalp, and I was sure it smelled the way it looked, because she calmed down the moment she took a whiff.
“What are they doing back there?” I continued. “I never know what they’re doing. I had to bring Shade to this place when she lost a ton of blood fighting off Aveta. Why would our human sides be so needy and not respond to faery magic?”
I looked back at the girl to make sure she couldn’t still her me. The sight of the doll sparked a memory. I could swear Anna had owned a doll just like that when she was tiny. The thought of it made my heart clench. I hoped she was okay. They hadn’t really asked me much when I’d brought her in, but they’d immediately scooped her up and placed her on a gurney, rushing her toward the back. I was ready to fight for her to be seen, but there had been no need. Even humans could tell how dire her situation was.
I hoped no one had noticed how perfectly porcelain she looked. Faery magic lingered while one was in the human realm, but humans rarely noticed. I hoped no one here was magically inclined… besides the security guard, who didn’t even know he had it in his blood.
“Just relax,” Isolde said. “Do you need a calming elixir?” She glanced at me and reached over to weave her fingers through mine. “I can whip one up.”
“No, I’m fine.”
She threw me a skeptical look.
“No, really. I am. Just want an update already.”
“We’ll have one soon, I’m sure. Watch the show with me. It’s so much fun guessing the letters and the phrase.” She beamed at the TV and called out a vowel. I glanced at the game show and sighed. She was right. I felt better watching the show. It had an oddly hypnotizing effect.
“I used to watch this all the time with my Mum and Dad when I was smaller,” Isolde said wistfully as she eyed the screen. “I still have dreams about them, you know. We three, sitting down in our tiny living room, watching this game show. We’d blurt out the letters and see who could guess the phrase the fastest. This just reminded me of all that. I miss them.”
“When was the last time you saw them?” I asked. I had to talk, or I would lose it again. I tried to keep my eyes trained on the screen instead of scoping out the vast waiting room filled with hopeless people waiting for their turn.
“In high school. Remember? I went away when they were recruited for the war in Faerie. They fought against Aveta’s armies in the north. They were smaller battles, not as big as the ones your people fought in the south, but they were killed regardless. I had to collect their ashes. I hated treading through Faerie knowing why I was there and not back home, going to prom.”
“I would have taken you, but you disappeared before that happened.”
“Did you ever go?”
“Go where?”
“To prom. You know, without me.”
“Oh, hell no. I barely graduated.”
She gave me a small side smile before looking back to the screen. “I wanted to go with you. It was the only thing that kept me going. I thought that maybe we would’ve had that dance together. You always looked fantastic in my daydreams about it. In a suit, hair tugged back. Looking spiffy.”
“What kind of dress would you have worn? You hated dresses.” I chuckled, almost forgetting where we were at that moment. It was working.
“I don’t know. Maybe purple and silver, or black and gold. Or red and black. I know you liked red a lot back then. We would have matched.”
“Yeah. You would have looked stunning.”
“Thank you.” She turned back to me, and we stared at each other for several moments.
“For Anna Dyer?”
I tore my gaze away and looked over to find the triage nurse scanning the room as though she didn’t know what I looked like. I jumped to my feet and waved.
“That’s me! For Anna.”
“Oh, yes. Please sign in here, and I’ll take you to your sister.”
I looked over my shoulder toward Isolde, who threw me a nod to proceed. I nodded back before turning back to sign the sheet on the clipboard the nurse was holding in front of me. Then, after glancing at my signature, she waved me forward.
“Follow me.”
Chapter Twelve
Dylan
The looming fog broke as the boat edged closer to the shore. James stood tall, trying hard to not look nervous. Word had come that Anna was in a human hospital being treated for a severe heart infection and heart valve disfunction. She was lucky she was there and not back at the Withering Palace. She would have died without surgery.
James was relieved, as was I. One less thing to worry about. It was going to be a long road ahead for Anna, and returning to Faerie might not be an option, but only time would tell. In the meantime, we had other people to save.
Including Shade. From herself. If she even wanted to be saved.
“Is the island far?” James asked. He was holding up well considering men bigger and stronger than him had run from this beach screaming. It wasn’t easy to cross the waterway. If you let fear sneak in, it could consume you and never allow you passage to Rock Island.
“It’s not that far, but remember, don’t give in to the darkness of the place. It’s a bit overwhelming, but if you remember that you are strong and nothing can stop you, you’ll be fine. Monsters only appear when you let them. Keep your mind clear and just breathe deep and slow. The boat ride will be over sooner than you think.”
“Was Shade afraid when she rode this boat?”
“She was, but she was determined to not let it rule her. You do the same, okay?”
James nodded, straightening as the boat slid onto the sandy embankment. He was made of the same stuff as Shade, and I admired how strong her family could be. They’d been through so much.
“Do you miss her?” James asked.
“I miss her a lot.” My heart seized. I knew he’d want to broach the subject of Shade sooner or la
ter, but that didn’t mean I was ready for the conversation. Would I ever be?
“She misses you too. I know it. She just needs time.”
I nodded. “Of course.”
Time was something I had run out of.
“Maybe if Soap wakes up, things will get better. My nieces will have both their fathers then.”
“I hope so.”
James peeked at me with some scrutiny, which I ignored as I waved us forward onto the boat, shoving it off to give it some momentum before jumping in. I hoped he didn’t want to know much more about what I thought about Shade. Was there anything left of us? I didn’t know. Would she return? I didn’t know that either. Did she even think about us? I doubted it. I didn’t want to rehash everything, because honestly, it was probably better that she never came back.
I swallowed down the hard stone of truth, but it lingered, choking me with a bitter reality.
“Are the archives well maintained?” James asked.
I nodded, relieved he had managed to realize my need for him to change the subject.
“Yes. Everything you ever wanted to know about the Land of Faerie can be found there.”
“But the mention of the Heart of Fire and Ice wasn’t there. It was in my family’s Pyren. Why?”
“I don’t know. It seems that Arthas might have done some cleaning up after he sent your ancestor there. He did quite a thorough job, if I may say so myself.”
“Arthas is evil. I think he’s brainwashed my sister into thinking he can help her. I know she’s smart enough to figure out that he just wants her power. She’s way more powerful than the other three put together.”
I looked at James, who was staring out over the water, studying the soft waves as a thick layer of fog drifted off the surface. He was a smart kid. He hadn’t quite shown others what he was capable of, but I could see that he knew far more about things than he would ever admit. Why was he confiding in me? Was I the father figure he was lacking? It was a role I hadn’t sought for myself, but it had fallen into my lap. No matter what, I would help James grow into a fine young man, even without Shade’s guidance.
