by Lila Rose
Opening the front door, my eyes drifted over the living room, but saw no one was there. “I’m home,” I called.
Voices in the kitchen paused and Mum called back, “Dinner’s ready, come eat.”
“I’ll just go dump my stuff and be there in a second.”
“Son, you can do that later. Get in here,” Dad said. Strange, usually they’d want all my shit out of the way so they wouldn’t trip on it.
Leaving it beside the front door, I walked into the kitchen and froze.
My mouth dropped open and I swear I gasped like a little girl seeing a pony for the first time. My heart also picked its pace up so fast it hurt inside my chest.
All of those reactions were because Julian was currently sitting at the dining room table with my parents.
Shit. That could not be good in any way.
“Matthew Alexander, you didn’t tell me your ‘friend’ was joining us for dinner tonight,” Mum snapped and yes, she actually air quoted friend with her fingers.
And there was my conundrum. Nothing good could come of it.
Julian hid his smirk and offered, “Well, to be fair, Mrs Alexander, I didn’t tell Mattie I was coming tonight.”
“Oh, isn’t that nice. I always love a surprise. Rich never surprises me anymore. It happens after being together for too long. You make sure to keep that up in your relationship. Mattie can be a bit sour like his father sometimes, but if you treat him right, if you keep the spice in the bedroom, things will work out great.”
Hollllly shit.
My head dipped back to look at the ceiling; please open the world below my feet and drag me in it.
“Mum.” I sighed and looked back to her. “I—”
“Mrs Alexander—”
“Oh, call me Nancy, honey.”
“Thank you.” Julian smiled. “I was going to say that Mattie and I aren’t actually together. I was just worried when he didn’t turn up to football practice tonight.”
“Kid, I thought you went. You’ve never missed a practice. What’s up with that? You’ve been out of sorts for some time now. Is this about some special guy?”
“Shit, Dad,” I growled.
“Watch your mouth, boy. I can—” He suddenly stopped and studied my panicked expression. He looked to Julian and then back to me. Then he abruptly stood from the table and said, “Nancy, you say I never surprise you, so surprise, we’re going out for dinner.”
“B-but I have it cooked already.”
“Woman, get up, I may even take you to the movies.” He took hold of Mum’s arm and pulled her from her seat.
“Only if you make-out with me in the movies and buy me popcorn.”
“Jesus, woman. Fine.” He sighed out the word like it was some huge task. I called bullshit because I was always—insert shudder—witness to their fawning all over each other.
“Bye, boys. Julian, so great to meet you. Hopefully, I’ll see you around.”
Julian didn’t get to reply. Instead, we heard the front door being closed behind them. I faced the living room. Julian, I knew, was sitting calmly on the chair behind me, as my mind freaked out.
“I’m sorry for showing up. It honestly didn’t cross my mind you still lived with your parents. You act a lot older than most your age. And once your mum opened the door, there was no escape. She practically dragged me in here.”
Snorting, I said, “That doesn’t surprise me.” Turning to face him, I added, “I’m in the process of getting my own place.”
He nodded, more to himself than me as he watched me, and then, shit, his eyes raked over my body, and instantly, I grew hard. To hide it from him, though I doubt I did, I sat in the seat at the end of the table away from the man I fantasised about every night.
“Mattie…”
“Why are you here? How did you find this place? Why are you here? You shouldn’t be here, I, this…I’m going insane,” I mumbled, my hands going over my face as I shook my head back and forth.
A chair creaked. Julian was up and moving. I tensed when his heat appeared right in front of me. He pried my hands away and I looked up to see him standing before me. He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry if coming here has upset you, meeting your parents…” He grinned and got to his knees in front of me, with my wrists still in his hands. His thumbs circled the back of them, causing my dick to jolt. “Why do they think you’re gay, Mattie?”
Shit.
Shaking my head, I mumbled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lame to deny it, but I was scared.
Scared to let myself feel when Julian was around.
All I wanted to do was wrap myself around him and beg him to play.
Beg him to want me and need me, just me.
Julian giggled. “I think you do. Handsome, it’s okay to…like the same sex. I haven’t turned out too bad and I’ve been doing it for a terribly long time.”
My eyes moved from his handsome face to the tiled floor next to us. “Don’t, please,” I pleaded, only I didn’t know what I was pleading for.
“Mattie, poppet.” He tugged on my wrists until I was looking at him. I watched as he licked his lips, my own lips mimicked his. He smiled and then asked, “Did you like what we did in that room?”
A pleasant shudder ran throughout my body from just thinking of it.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Julian chuckled. He stood and paced the floor in front of me. “I liked it, almost more than I should. I…I came here tonight to let you know, that what you feel, liking men, it’s okay to do so. You can’t let other bastards get to you. One day, I hope you’ll understand that, and learn to be who you want to be, to like whoever you want to like and not worry about what anyone else thinks.” He stopped and turned to me. “You’ll always get the muff-munchers who hate gay people, no matter where you go. You tend to learn who will be okay and who won’t It’s those you steer clear of. If they want to get in your face about it, let them have at it…shit, I’m rambling.” He laughed. “Anyway, I just wanted to check on you, see if you’re okay and let you know you’re not the only one to go through this. Any gay guy would be willing to help you through this.” He rolled his eyes. “Any gay man would shove another over a cliff to be the one to help you…in any way.” He winked. I shook my head and lowered it, my mind running with thoughts.
Maybe it was time to man up. Be who I wanted to be. Hell, it was some scary shit to go through. But Julian was right. I wasn’t the only one to have been through it.
Goddammit. I’d been a weakling for a long time and never had I considered I wasn’t the only one to go through it. Of course there were others.
If others could do it, come out…maybe I could as well.
“Anyhow, I had better go, can’t keep my date waiting,” Julian chirped. He started for the front.
He had a date?
He’d come here to check on me before his date?
Would he kiss his date?
Would he take that date home?
Fire erupted inside my chest. I didn’t like any of those thoughts at all.
In seconds, I was out of my chair and striding toward Julian. Grabbing his arm, I turned him and demanded, “Is that supposed to make me jealous?”
Julian actually looked startled. “What? I…no. I’m—”
“You can’t do that, Julian. You can’t make me crazy. You can’t turn me on all the Goddamn time. Come here to this house to tell me you were worried. You can’t look the way you do at me and not have it affect me every time I’m in a room with you.” My breathing escalated and then I leaned in, so our noses nearly touched and I growled, “You can’t go on a date with anyone, but me.” I threaded my hand into the back of his hair and tugged. His mouth touched mine, but it wasn’t enough. I demanded entrance. Once he opened up to me, things went a little crazy. We kissed. It was my first real, passionate kiss with a man, and I fucking loved it. My other arm wound around his waist. I dragged him closer. Our bodies touched, our erections rubbed up against each other, and we moaned. H
is arms wrapped around my waist, a tight grip on my tee as he ground his hard-on against mine.
I pulled back to catch my breath. “Jesus.” I tilted my neck as Julian kissed down it.
“No, poppet, just Julian, with one raging boner.”
I chuckled. I couldn’t help it. I loved the things that came out of his mouth. Hell, I loved his mouth. He slid one hand down my side, over my arse and then dipped around to the front where he caressed my hard cock over my jeans, rubbing it up and down with a firm hand. However, if I let him continue, I’d blow in my boxers and that’d be just awkward. Imagine me explaining to Mum why I was doing the laundry since I’d never done it before. That was not a scene I wanted to take part in.
My hand landed over his to stop his movement. He lifted his head, one brow quirked up in question. “I feel weird doing this.”
“Oh,” he said and backed off a step.
I reached out, but dropped my hand again. “It’s not that I don’t…want to. I think, no, I know I do. But…” I ran a hand through my hair. “This is my parents’ home. I’ve lived here my whole life. It’s weird making out and doing…other things with you in here. In their home.”
Julian smiled. “I get it. I’d be the same way. How about we trade numbers. I do have to get going.”
“On a date?” I growled before thinking.
His smile widened. “You’re hotter than chili chips when you’re jealous.” I glared at him. “It’s not a date with a guy. It’s with a friend. A girl friend. Happy chappie now?”
Rolling my eyes, I nodded. Because knowing that titbit of information, lifted the weight off my chest. I took the phone he offered and passed mine over to him. We added our numbers in and after I passed back his phone, he moved off to the front door once again.
“Do you…” I started and then clammed up.
He looked over his shoulder and asked, “What?”
Heat spread over my face. I had never done this before. Looking to the carpet, I asked, “Do you want to…hang out sometime?”
A giggle filled the room. I looked up in time to see him walk my way. He stopped right in front of me, his hand going to the back of my neck. “I do worry about the age difference—”
“I don’t,” I spat.
He laughed. “I know, I can tell. But as I was saying, sugar-dick, I do worry about the age difference, but it won’t keep me away. Not when a man like you can turn my cock hard in seconds. I’m annoyed to leave here with the deepest shade of blue balls, but I look forward to when we…see each other next. In other words, yes, Mattie, I want to go on a date with you.” He leaned in and gently touched his lips to mine. He then whispered against them, “I know you’re scared, but I’ll be there for you.” When he pulled back, I nodded once. He grinned, ran his thumb over my lower lip and said, “You’re too good looking, I’m going to have to beat them off with a stick.”
I smirked. “Or you could just beat me off?”
He stared for a second and then threw his head back and laughed loudly. As soon as he calmed, he kissed me one last time and said, “I’m out of here before I attack you on your parents’ floor.” He made it to the door before he said over his shoulder, “And, handsome, I’m privileged you want to take this step with me; I’m horny as hell, but ecstatic you picked me.”
“There was no other option for me,” I told him. His face softened before he smiled, winked, and left.
Chapter Seven
Julian
My heart was having problems. It felt extra big in my body and I only had one person to blame. Matthew Alexander and his sweet, honey-dipped words. There was no other option for me. He shouldn’t have said those words because it made me obsessed. My dick was constantly poking at the zipper behind my pants just thinking about all the good, dirty things I could do with the man. I was shocked he hadn’t been with another guy, though happy, so very happy that I could break out into song, but shocked he hadn’t let another man touch him. He wanted me.
Me!
Little, old, over-the-top-gay me.
Oh, snap a dick in half.
People were looking at me strangely.
Why?
Because I could have squealed from the thought of being Mattie’s first…everything.
I didn’t understand why he wanted to be my…whatever we were. I didn’t want to label us just yet; he was still in the scared process of everything. I knew, from the kiss encounter, that I wanted to be Mattie’s boyfriend. What worried me though was the fear in Mattie’s eyes. My assumption was that he’d not long ago come out to his parents.
What I wanted would be a big step for him.
Risking losing him wasn’t an option. I had never felt so hot for another in all my gay years before. So taking it slow was all I could do, and even if I had to tackle my dick every damn time I saw him, I would do it. He wasn’t seeing the light of day until Mattie gave it the green go sign.
My phone beeped. I stopped the grocery trolley to pull it out of my back pocket and a smile so wide I was surprised I didn’t blind people spread across my face at seeing Mattie’s name there. You have ruined me!
My brows rose high. I wasn’t sure the message was good. How?
His answer was fast, thank the gay God. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m getting no work done. Boss will kill me!!!
A giggle fell from my mouth. Awe, poor baby :( I can easily fix that. I sent that and then quickly held my phone up and snapped a picture of myself smiling. Now you can look at me instead of thinking of me. You may be able to work then…though, it is doubtful. I am unforgettable. Frank Sinatra even made a song about me.
His reply was: Snort! What are you doing tonight?
My heart skipped a beat. Now my usual reply would be YOU…but I’m trying my best to be a gentleman. So I will say: Nothing, did you have something in mind?
I’d like to see your place.
Bang a butthole.
He didn’t actually say I could not do him.
Oh, God. Matthew Alexander wanted to come to my place. My place where we could be alone. Together. Alone.
Giddiness of pleasure swept through me. My hands shook as I texted him my address and: I’ll even cook you dinner like a good kitchen bitch. 7PM good?
Great! See you then.
Can’t wait. And I couldn’t. Heck, it was like I was going on my first date. My heart was just about in my mouth with nerves. I couldn’t stop smiling from the excitement and I wanted to run down the aisle, jump and click my heels together. Instead¸ I fought that urge and continued shopping, thinking of the best meal I could make for Mattie.
What was the best meal?
Meat.
Meat on a stick.
Meat in a bun
Meat that was stuffed in…
Sugar on toast, I had to stop thinking of Mattie’s meat in all those events or I was going to blow in my pants. Not that I minded, but I hated sticky situations, unless it was in the bedroom.
Mattie
Looking at Julian’s photo for the fiftieth time that day still brought the same effect. My heart would beat double time, my hands would shake and I’d grin like a fool. I couldn’t believe I had the balls to text him first, but I did, and even though I was scared, I was happy that I was seeing him.
Dressed in jeans and a white shirt, I climbed the stairs in Julian’s stylish apartment complex. Stopping at door number 4, I knocked and waited with sweaty palms, tingling from head to foot, and my heart beating around in my chest like it was doing the rumba. It picked up its pace once more when I heard footsteps approaching the door.
It swung open and a grinning Julian stood in the open doorway. Our gazes swept over each other. He looked hot in his slacks and navy tee. My eyes went to his face to see him smirking at me. He licked his lips and again, like my own lips were twins with his, I licked mine as well.
“Hey, poppet,” he said and then took my hand in his and dragged me to him. Next, his lips were on mine, and with no other thought, I devoured his mouth.
One arm wrapped around his waist to force his body tighter to mine, and my other hand wound into his hair to grip it. He groaned.
Damn the man, I couldn’t get enough of him. I was ready to yell fuck dinner and take him to his room instead, which shocked the hell out of me.
“Get a room.” I heard a female voice behind me say.
Unlatching myself, I looked over my shoulder to see the woman who was with Julian when we had been at the same club. She was grinning at us. Julian shifted and he looked over my shoulder. “Don’t be jealous, honey. Just because you can’t have this fine specimen of man in your arms.”
“That is true, which is why I don’t mind the show. Can I come in and watch?”
Saliva slipped down the wrong way when I swallowed hard and then I choked it back up. Julian patted me on the back and I heard laughter coming from his neighbour. Her next comment had my eyes widening. “Julian, you have to teach him to swallow properly so he doesn’t choke on it.”
“Wench, get out of here before you really scare him.” Julian laughed, pulled me further in and slammed the door to her cackling as she walked down the stairs. “I’m sorry about Melissa. She’s a beast and doesn’t know how to act around real human beings. Though, she is also an awesome neighbour and friend.” He went to step away, taking me with him because my hand was in his, but stopped when he realised I wasn’t moving. He looked at me and his smile faded a little. “What’s wrong?”
Biting my bottom lip, I blushed and focused on the floor. “She’s right. I wouldn’t know the first thing about what to do with you. I could be totally useless in bed. What happens if I do choke when…shit, I can’t even say it.”
“Baby,” Julian whispered. I could hear the humour in his voice and I felt even worse. I was fucking useless. I wanted to leave. I wanted to bolt from the apartment and hide, live out the rest of my miserable life as a virgin. That was until Julian stepped up to me. His hands gently went to my cheeks, lifting my face. Our gazes caught. “It will come naturally. You don’t need to worry about it. You’ll please me no matter. What happens if I don’t make you happy?”
