The husband pretended to frown. “Hmm . . . maybe we’d better rethink this.”
“Very funny,” his wife said, then turned back to Lanie. “So do you think they’ll be willing to close quickly? I really want to move in before the baby is born.”
“With the right offer,” Lanie said confidently, “anything is possible. Matt? Are you as excited as Amy is? Ready to make an offer?”
“Definitely,” he said, putting his arm around his bride. “Amy’s right. It’ll be perfect for us.”
“Great!” Lanie enthused. “I’ve got to take a short meeting. You two go grab some lunch, then meet me back at the office.” Lanie looked at her diamond-encrusted wristwatch. “Let’s say one fifteen. Don’t forget to bring your checkbook.”
After escorting the young couple out of the building, Lanie turned around. “Did you see that? I just sold your apartment, probably for full price. Yes. I am that good!”
Grinning, she walked toward me with open arms. “Darling! It’s so good to see you!” she exclaimed, giving me a hug. “You’ve lost weight, haven’t you? You look great! See? There is an upside to divorce. But I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow. I cleared my whole day so I could drive up and help you close the house. You didn’t do it all by yourself, did you?”
“No, I’m putting that off for a couple of days. I came home to talk to Brian.”
The bow of Lanie’s lips flattened into a disapproving line. “Gayla. Darling. Don’t debase yourself by trying to beg him. You’ve got to face facts. Your apartment just sold. It’s over; Brian doesn’t want you anymore. If you try to chase after him, you’ll just end up looking pathetic.”
“Thank you, Lanie, for that reminder.”
“Hey!” she said, raising her hands. “Don’t get mad at me. I’m on your side.”
“Yeah? Well, sometimes you make it kind of hard to remember that.”
Lanie scowled, her expression a mixture of anger and confusion. “That’s not fair. What the hell is wrong with you anyway? I’m just trying to help.”
“Are you? Then start by being a little more supportive. Not treating me like an idiot would be good too.”
I didn’t even mention the part about not being quite so gleeful about selling my home out from under me. She wouldn’t have understood what I was talking about.
“I didn’t come down here to chase after Brian,” I said. “It’s too late to salvage things; I know that. But I really wanted to talk to him before the lawyers start piling on and things get ugly. I wanted to tell him that I forgive him, once and for all and completely. And I wanted to ask him to forgive me for suspecting him even before I had proof.”
“You cannot be serious.” Lanie threw out her hands in exasperation. “Did you talk to Libby about this? You can’t have that conversation with Brian, Gayla. Not now. Trust me; that’s the kind of thing he’ll end up using against you. I know you’re not over him yet, but you’ve got to start thinking of Brian as the enemy.”
“Brian was never my enemy,” I spat. “Divorce or no divorce, he never will be.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. He’s not your enemy. And if you bare your soul to him, he won’t think of using that against you. Because men never do that,” she said in a drippingly sarcastic tone. “If you do this,” she said, pointing a finger at my face, “you are going to end up looking like a fool.”
“Maybe. And if that’s true, so be it. But I’m not going to spend the rest of my life steeped in bitterness and anger, Lanie.”
She pointed her finger at me again, stabbing it directly toward the bridge of my nose. “Stop it. I know you’re upset, but I’ve had just about enough. I am not bitter—”
I talked right over her, ignoring her commentary. I really didn’t care about Lanie’s wounded pride, not at that moment. “And let me tell you something else, Lanie. If there was ever a man worth making a fool of yourself over, then Brian is that man.”
“You’re an idiot,” she spat. “You always were. Even back in college. And I was an idiot for ever taking you on and trying to make something of you. Waste of time. Well,” she said in a clipped tone, “I’ve learned my lesson. I’m done here, Gayla. Good-bye. And good luck.”
She turned around and walked away, her heels echoing against the lobby’s marble floors as she strode toward the glass doors. “You’re going to need it,” she called over her shoulder. “Let’s just see how you do without any friends to help you.”
Henry, who was standing out on the street, opened the door. Lanie marched through it and took a right turn down the sidewalk.
As I watched her disappear from sight, I was filled with relief but also with regret. I had known Lanie a long time, even longer than Brian. There was no way I wouldn’t miss her, but she was wrong about me. I wouldn’t be without friends. For the first time in my life, I understood what real friendship looked like.
Though it was still early afternoon, I decided not to drive back to New Bern that day. I’d sleep in my apartment that night. Who knew how many more opportunities I’d have to do so?
It was funny to be back home after so many weeks away. Everything was almost exactly as I’d left it. It felt like an exhibition in a museum dedicated to the life I used to live.
My desk was just as disorganized and messy as it had been on the day I’d fled the apartment in an anguished panic with nothing besides my keys, not realizing I’d be gone for nearly three months. In the bedroom, I found the clothes I’d folded on the morning of my departure still sitting on top of the dresser, waiting to be put away. The novel I’d been reading was still sitting on the nightstand, a dog-eared fold marking the place I’d left off, a pair of purple-rimmed reading glasses lying beside it.
Apparently it hadn’t occurred to Brian, and obviously it hadn’t stood in the way of incurring the sale, but if I’d been home and trying to show the apartment, there would have been vases of fresh flowers on the tables and a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter. Every surface would have been cleared of clutter and the least indication that actual human beings occupied this space. I’d have tried to make it look like the world people imagine they’d like to inhabit, instead of the one they actually did.
Instead, the rooms looked completely authentic, almost painfully so. But walking through them didn’t upset me as much as I had supposed it might. There were things that brought a smile to my face or made me feel wistful, pictures and little artifacts of our family history, items that I would want to take with me when I left. But I didn’t feel as connected to the space as I once had. They were just rooms now, and the memories I had created there, the good and bad, would be boxed up and brought with me when I departed, the same way I would bring along the furniture and photos and bed linens.
This wasn’t home to me, I realized. Not anymore. My heart belonged to a more northern latitude now. How odd.
I went back into the bedroom to put away the stack of folded clothing. As I opened the drawer, I heard a noise coming from the living room.
“Brian?” I called. “Is that you?”
I walked through the bedroom door and met him coming down the hallway. Seeing my face, he did a double take.
“Gayla? What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. There was something I wanted to tell you, but Henry said you’d left, carrying a couple of suitcases. Guess you’re planning on being gone for a while.” I swallowed and tried to force a smile. There was no point in giving in to tears.
“Well, yes. I had to run some errands, and then I was going to head out of town, but before I got to the bridge, I thought of one more place where I might have left my phone, so I decided to come back and take another look.”
“Your phone?”
“I lost it a couple of days ago, looked everywhere for it. Or so I thought. Turns out it was right where I left it: in the freezer.” He pulled his phone from his pants pocket. Sure enough, it was coated with a glaze of white and starting to drip. “I suspect it’s a goner,” he s
aid.
Even in these circumstances, it was impossible to keep from chuckling a little. I mean, honestly. Who leaves their phone in the freezer?
“Brian, how did you ever think to . . . You know what? Never mind,” I said, realizing there were more important questions on my mind. “Did you get any of my phone messages?”
“I did, a couple of them. I’m sorry, Gayla. I should have called you back. I intended to, but there were some things I needed to attend to before I was ready to do that. As a matter of fact, I was on my way to New Bern when I remembered the phone and the freezer. I thought we should sit down and talk. It isn’t the sort of thing you discuss on the phone.”
He had planned to come up and see me face-to-face? That was decent of him.
“I know,” I said. “You’ve listed the apartment and you need my signature on the paperwork. I think it sold already. The couple Lanie brought over loved it. They’re probably in her office right now, writing up an offer.”
“Really?” he asked, looking a bit shocked. “That was fast.”
I nodded. “They’re pushing for a quick occupancy. I’d planned on staying here for a few weeks to sort myself out, but maybe I’ll have to check into a hotel. Unless I’m lucky enough to find a perfect apartment quickly. Doesn’t seem likely, though. I just fired my Realtor. Or maybe she fired me. I’m not sure. It doesn’t matter. . . .”
Brian shook his head back and forth violently, as if he was trying to clear water from his ears. “I’m sorry, but . . . Gayla . . . what are you talking about?”
“About Lanie.” I sighed. “We had a falling-out. I think the damage is beyond repair.”
Brian screwed his eyes shut and held up his hand, as if trying to block out the sound of my voice. “No! Not that. I don’t give a damn about Lanie. What was it you were saying about finding a new apartment?”
“Just that I’ll need to do it soon. I’ve got to live someplace after the divorce.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Do you think I’m filing for divorce?”
“Well, yes. Aren’t you?”
“No. I don’t want a divorce.”
My throat felt so tight that, for a moment, it was hard to speak. I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I never did. Not really.”
Brian took in a breath and let it out again, then smiled. “Good. I’m glad.”
He opened his arms, and I fell into them. He held me tight, smoothing his hand over my hair as I blinked back tears of relief and happiness.
“But why were you coming to New Bern to see me?” I asked once I’d gotten hold of myself. “What was so important that you couldn’t discuss it on the phone?”
“Right. I almost forgot. Come on,” he said, taking my hand. “Let’s find a place to sit down and talk.”
We were nearest to the bedroom, so Brian led me through the door, and we both sat down on the bed, pulling up a leg so we could face each other. Then Brian started telling me his story.
“Today’s trip to New Bern would have been my third this week,” he said. “I’ve driven up twice to interview for a job.”
“What kind of job could you find in New Bern?” I asked skeptically. “It’s not exactly the commerce capital of the world.”
“No, it’s not,” he said. “But I’m rather over commerce at this point, and as Mike Barrows made clear to me only days ago, the world of commerce seems to be over me as well. I’m looking for something a little calmer, something with a little less pressure that will allow me to spend a lot more time with you. And, just as importantly something I’ll actually enjoy and feel good about.”
I gave him a doubtful look. “And you think you’ll be able to find something like that in New Bern.”
“No,” he said, looking just a teeny bit self-satisfied, “I have found something like that in New Bern, something exactly like that. You know the music store, the one on the highway?”
I nodded. “The one with the manager who talks like he’s been to a few too many Grateful Dead concerts? Yes. What about it?”
“Well, it seems that the owner has decided to sell it. And I’ve decided to buy it. At least, I hope to, if it’s all right with you. That’s what I was driving up to discuss.”
My jaw went slack; this was the last thing I’d been expecting. My former audio-industry-executive husband, who had traveled the world and pulled together mergers worth hundreds of millions of dollars, wanted to sell sheet music and harmonicas in Connecticut? The look on his face said that he did, that he was actually pretty excited about the prospect.
“Well,” I said slowly, giving myself a chance to regain my mental equilibrium, “I guess so, sweetheart. If that’s what you really want to do. But, Brian, does that store make any money? I never see anyone parked in front of it. Those strings I bought for my guitar had cobwebs on them, they’d been sitting on the shelf so long.”
“It doesn’t make a dime,” he confirmed. “In fact, it loses money. But I’ve looked at the books, done a bit of research, and I think it has potential. Don’t get me wrong—we’d never get rich owning that store—”
“That’s okay.” I shrugged. “I never wanted to be rich.”
“That’s good,” he said, laughing, “because it’s never going to happen. But I don’t want to go broke either. So I’ve worked out a deal with the owner.
“He’s going to hire me as the manager for one year. I’ll have complete control over everything—inventory, advertising, lesson offerings, and schedules. I plan to teach the guitar classes myself. If, at the end of that year, I’m able to bring the business at least to the break-even point, then I’ll buy it. There’s no real risk for me. We’ve agreed upon a sale price and will put it in writing, so he won’t be able to jack it up after I turn things around. I do have to put down a deposit of forty thousand earnest money that will be held in escrow. But, if I change my mind, I’ll get it all back less twenty-five hundred. I can walk away free, more or less whole.”
“And the owner has agreed to all this? He’s willing to put it in writing? How were you able to get such good terms?”
“Number one, because he knows he’ll never be able to sell the place. Who besides me would be interested? And number two, because your husband is a shrewd negotiator. Had to pick up something doing acquisitions for three years, didn’t I?”
“Brian! That’s brilliant!”
“Do you really think so?” he asked, a note of caution in his voice. “We’d have to sell the apartment to pull it off. The severance will make up for the loss of my income while I’m trying to bring the store into the black, but after that, we’ll need money for the deposit, too, and some working capital. Selling the apartment would give us that, plus a bit of a financial cushion going forward. I didn’t expect to get an offer on the apartment so soon, but we don’t have to accept if you don’t want to. I know you love this building and the neighborhood.”
“What I’ll love is being with you,” I said, bending my head forward, touching my forehead to his. “And New Bern is a wonderful place to live. I love it there.”
“But you love New York, too. And what about your business? And your clients?”
His concern for my happiness was genuine and so touching. I knew that he very much wanted to buy that store, but I also knew he wouldn’t unless he was completely convinced that I was on board.
Was I? Apart from the pleasure of seeing Brian happy, was I truly ready for such a big change?
I put my hand to my mouth, gnawing on the edge of my thumbnail as I thought it through. “I do love New York,” I mused. “There’s no city quite like it. But I could come in on the train once a week or so to see people. Most of my client contact is on the phone anyway. I’m sure I can find new clients in New Bern too. I’d like to start working with kids from more modest financial circumstances, kids like Drew Kelleher, people who deserve a little help. I probably wouldn’t be able to charge as much, but money isn’t everything. There’s a lot to be said for working where you’re needed.”
I took my hand from my mouth and placed it in Brian’s. “I think you should do it,” I said. “I think this is a really good idea—for both of us.”
His face lit up. He looked so excited, like a boy who’d been handed his first set of car keys. “Do you? Oh, Gayla. That’s wonderful!”
He lifted my hand to his lips and then lowered it and moved in to kiss me, but I pulled back.
“Just a minute, sweetheart. You got to tell me what was on your mind, but I didn’t get to do the same, not really.” Brian sat up and scooted back a little, indicating that he was ready to listen. “Before I drove down here, I had a talk with Philippa, the minister, about forgiveness. And what I wanted to say was—”
Brian lifted his hand and placed his fingers on my lips, ending my explanation. “Gayla, let’s make a deal. Instead of going through yet another course of apologies, why don’t we agree to wipe the slate clean, forgive each other for any of our past transgressions, be completely honest with each other from here on out, no matter what, and love each other madly until the day we die. Is that something you could live with? Because I think it would work for me.”
I smiled. “You’re a pretty tough negotiator. But I think I can manage that.”
He leaned toward me, and this time, I let him kiss me. When we broke apart he said, “Are you hungry? I’ll take you out to lunch, so we can seal the bargain.”
“What if we seal the bargain right here instead?” I pulled him down on the bed with me and whispered in his ear, “Lanie says that makeup sex is amazing. Let’s see if she’s right.”
38
Gayla
Labor Day was beautiful, bright and clear without a cloud in the sky. The last of my tomatoes were ripe on the vine, and the garden had never looked better. The heads of the hydrangea flowers were blushing pink now and so heavy that the branches holding them bowed toward the ground.
Apart at the Seams Page 32
