“Hullo,” he said in an unfriendly tone, “what do you want? “
“Where are those children?” demanded Gorbo, as soon as he had recovered from his surprise.
“Children? How should I know? I’m not a nursery maid.”
Gorbo dropped his basket and switched his bow round to have it handy.
“Oh, leave that bow of yours alone!” cried Golithos, changing his tone.” You’re always making me nervous with the beastly thing. The little ones went away in the night along with the funny man, Mother Meldrum says, and 1 don’t know where they are. How should I? “
“Where’s she gone to?” said Gorbo after a miserable moment.” Quick!”
“She ran out to look for them. Oh, do put it down! It’s not my fault, is it? “
Gorbo stood with his face all twisted with dismay, staring up at the other. What had happened now? He thought and thought, but could make nothing of it.
“Sit down and make yourself at home,” said Golithos after a moment, taking a seat on a stool by the fireplace.” She’ll be back soon I expect.”
Gorbo sat down after a moment or two and stared at the fire and thought. Golithos looked awkwardly at him from time to time, but did not speak. And so they sat in silence until a brisk step was heard without and Gorbo started up. The door opened with a crash and Mother Meldrum appeared, looking horribly gaunt and ugly and angry in a long outdoor cloak and a high peaked hat.
“Oh, so you’re back, are you? “she said.
“Yes, Mum. But where’s Sylvia and Joe? “
“They’re gone—the little fools! “
“Gone where? “cried Gorbo.
“You keep civil!” shouted the old woman.” Don’t you bellow at me! “
“No, Mum, I won’t,” said poor Gorbo.” But where have they gone to—please? “
“King Kul will have them by tonight. Them and the funny man. I ran, after them when I found they’d gone, but I was just too late. The funny man was on one horse—with his mouth tied up, which shows they’ve got some sense—and those fool children were each sitting in front of a rider. Now perhaps they’re wishing they hadn’t run away from old Mother Meldrum.”
“Which way did they go? “cried Gorbo, making for the door.” I’ll catch them up—”
“Oh, will you? Well, if you think you can catch mounted men when they’ve got a two hours’ start, or if you think you could do anything if you did catch up with them, you’re a bigger fool than you look—and that’s saying a good deal.”
“But—but what did they run away for? “asked Gorbo, struck with a new doubt.
“How do I know? I was sitting talking to this harmless old bunch of nerves,” (indicating Golithos) “who’d come to pay me a neighbourly visit, when I thought I’d give a look at them to see that they were quite comfortable. And when I got up there the room was empty and the window was open and they’d gone. And the funny man was gone too. So I just went after them, and got sight of them just too late. King Kul’s got them all right. I suppose the funny man told them to go. He’s noodle enough for anything. But if you really want to save them, I’ll tell you the only way how.”
“Oh, thank you, Mum! “exclaimed Gorbo.
“But first I’m going to have breakfast.” She threw off her cloak and began clattering the pots and pans about.” I’m not going to starve for those brats.”
“If I hadn’t been all the night getting those mandrakes,” said Gorbo, tearing at his hair, “I wouldn’t have lost them. Oh, I am the biggest fool after all! “
“You’re near it at any rate.” Mother Meldrum had stopped in her work and picked up the basket he had brought.” Is this what you call mandrakes? “
“Yes, Mum,” replied Gorbo humbly.” It seemed to me they squeaked a little when I pulled them up.”
“Common swamp parsnips! “said Mother Meldrum with bitter scorn, flinging them out of the door.” So that’s all the good you are. Yah! “
She turned away and went on with her cooking.
Gorbo sat down and buried his face in his hands. Blow after blow. Not only had he lost the children, but he had lost them while searching throughout a hard disagreeable night for a few worthless specimens of the common swamp parsnip (Avacabolis communis). Life really did not seem worth living to him.
“Liven up!” said the old woman after a while.” I’ll show you the way to save them, as I said; you trust to old Mother Meldrum. Meantime you’d better eat.”
She dished up a huge platter of kidneys, small sausages and bacon, and an omelette. The exquisite savour of these, together with her proffer of help, brought some cheer to the sore heart of Gorbo and he drew up his stool to the table and ate gratefully. The kidneys were cooked to perfection, the omelette had been made by the hand of an artist. Mother Meldrum was wicked and cruel and ugly and feared by all, but there was that in her which goes far to redeem the character of the vilest—she could cook.
“Golithos only eats grass and such like,” she said with a fiendish laugh, “so he can finish up this bit of raw cabbage. Eat hearty, Golithos.”
Golithos drew up his stool with a discontented look and picked daintily at the cabbage, eating with his front teeth only as if he had no appetite for it. He looked longingly at the mixed grill, but his fear of Mother Meldrum was great and he kept silent. She told him (while drawing a pot of foaming beer for Gorbo) that he would find all the water he wanted and more in the water-butt outside.
Breakfast being over she sat and considered awhile, casting an occasional glance at Golithos. It was evident that she desired him out of the way; and it is usually a delicate matter to convey to a third person that he is what the French call de trop. But she managed it.
“Golithos,”she said suddenly,” get to blazes out .of this. Go outside and stay by that tree stump over there so that I can see you’re not listening.”
Golithos got up and moved blunderingly out of the door and stood where she had told him to, looking sulkily about him.
The Cozening of Gorbo
“He’s a slow-witted one if ever there was one,” Mother Meldrum remarked.” You’re not much, but you’re better than he is. Now what I have to tell you is this. Those children are in deadly peril—now don’t start interrupting me, or I’ll leave you to settle it yourself. You don’t know about King Kul, but I do. If I were to tell you only half the things he’s done it would make each one of those coarse hairs of yours stand up, and as that wouldn’t be a pretty sight I won’t do it. But I’ll tell you he’s the fiercest and cruelest beast that ever brandished a sceptre. Now the only way to save those children from a horrible fate—at the least having their heads cut off as obtrusive foreigners—is for you to kill him. I’m not counting the funny man at all; he’s a goner in any case.”
“But—but surely, Mum,” said Gorbo in great horror, “no man would kill two harmless little things like them! Why, it simply isn’t done! “
The old woman laughed scornfully.” Poor innocent old Foozelum. Why, he does things like that for fun. It’s a saying of his that he loves to see a little head bounce off its stalk. Of course you haven’t heard about the infants’ dass at the Sunday School. However, don’t let’s go into disagreeable details; the main thing is that somebody has got to finish him off. I’ve tried to get Golithos to do the job, but he hasn’t any pluck now and I’m tired of arguing with him. Now, will you do it? Remember it’s the only possible way of saving those little ones.”
“Yes, Mum,” replied Gorbo, springing up.” You just show me the way there and I’ll see what I can do with my little bow.”
“You needn’t trouble about your little bow. In the first place you’d never be able to get through the guards so as to have a shot at him. There’s only one way to do it surely, and it’s lucky you’ve got an experienced witch to tell you how.”
“I’ll do i
t any way you say, Mum; so long as I can do it quick.”
“That’s the sort of man I like,” she said approvingly.
“Just wait here a bit.”
She went out, and Gorbo sat in a state of horror and dismay. Here, was a terrible result of his fatheadedness! To know that the innocent little ones were in the power of a tyrant who loved to see small heads bounce off—to know that if he had not tempted them to visit the twisted trees they would have been long ago safe in their own home—to realize that his name would be held for ever in execration among the Snergs as the fool who led the two children to captivity and death! No wonder he bowed his head and moaned in anguish and wept.
Mother Meldrum returned with a long thin bundle under her arm.” Now then, waterworks,” she said, in coarse allusion to his tears, “sit up and pay attention for there must be no mistake here.”
“Yes, Mum.” Gorbo sat up .and listened eagerly.
“First, you’ll have to get into the King’s palace without being seen. And the only way to do that is to wear a cap’ of invisibility. Here it is.” (producing a seedy looking article).” It is seven hundred years old, which accounts for its being a bit out of fashion, but it works all right. Take it and be careful never to put it on until you actually need it, because it only works once with one person. If you were to put it on now you would be invisible for about ten minutes. Then its power-with you-would be gone forever. Do you understand? “
“Yes, Mum. You mean I must only use it when I get into the palace.”
“You’ve got it. You’re improving a bit. Now the next thing is this.” She produced a long whippy sapling and swished it in the air.
“Yes, Mum. And what do l do with that?”
“This,” she said impressively, “is a sword of sharpness. The instant you smite with it it turns into a sword, and any person you smite will be cut into two halves. It belonged originally to a cousin of Queen Mab; he used it to clear up some family trouble. But remember that when you have smitten it once it becomes a sapling again and its power goes forever—that is, as far as you are concerned.”
“Yes, Mum. You mean that if I swot the King with it he will be cut into two bits.”
“That’s it. And it will look rather well; sorry I won’t be there to see it. Now when you have done this there will probably be more than a little excitement and it will be advisable for you to get out of the way for a time. You see when the tyrant is dead the people will rise up in their power and celebrate by freeing all the unhappy prisoners and so forth, and that, of course, will save those dear little children. But you had better go for a little run.”
“Yes, Mum. But how do I manage it? “
“These” (producing a very shabby pair of slippers) “are shoes of swiftness. The moment you have done the deed, slip these on and run. But I advise you not to run too much or you may find yourself in Mesopotamia or in the middle of the ocean or somewhere. Just a few brisk steps will be enough, and even then it will take you half the night to walk back, because these, like the cap and sword, only work once. When you get back again you will be hailed as a great and good man and the dear little things will be delivered over to you safe and sound. Also your friend the, funny man, if you really need him. So here’s everything, nicely wrapped up. Do exactly as I’ve told, you, and remember that if you make a mess of it, the children’s ghosts will haunt you—carrying their little heads under their arms.”
“I’ll start now,” cried Gorbo, taking the bundle containing the wonderful treasures and his bow and other matters and making for the door.” Just tell me the road.”
“Turn to the left when you get out of the wood and go along the green drive for a mile or two. Then you’ll hit the high road which leads straight to the town. So go to it!”
Gorbo thanked her briefly but fervently and darted off down the path. Mother Meldrum watched him disappear in the trees and then went back and sat down and laughed until she shook with horrid merriment.
A Fearful Bargain
After a few minutes enjoyment of her secret jest she called to Golithos to approach, and he came in looking very sulky and seated himself.
“Where have you sent that Snerg to? “he asked.
“Ah,” she replied, “that’s telling.” And she went on chuckling.
“Now,” she said after a time, “let’s get to business. Are you going to take my offer or not? I may as well warn you (if you haven’t found it out yet) that I’m a bit short-tempered, and if you get obstinate with me I’ve ways of making all kinds of trouble for you. I’m not an experienced witch for nothing.”
Golithos scratched his head in a discontented way.” It’s so dangerous,” he said at length.
“So it is to make me annoyed. Now then, answer up! Will you kill the King if I get those young ones for you? “
“But you haven’t got them to give.”
“Yah! I can get them back easily enough if I make up my mind to do it—and if you make it worth my while.”
“Yes, but—but why didn’t you get that Snerg to kill him. He’s fool enough.”
“Yes; he is—a bit worse than you in some ways, and that’s why I sent him out of the way. But the reason is that I’ve found out by black magic that if the King is killed at all it will be done by an ogre, and you’re the only one left in these parts. So now you know.”
“Oh! So that’s it, is it? —And does your magic say what will happen to the ogre? “
“Yes, it says he’ll live happy ever after.”
Golithos scratched his head again. In spite of his belief in Mother Meldrum he had doubts whether she was telling the exact truth here.
“I suppose I must do it,” he muttered sullenly.” But I want to be sure of those little ones first. You bring them here and keep them safe for me first. Then I’ll go and do it.”
The old woman glared furiously at him.” Yes, you’re trying to get me annoyed,” she said.” Very well, then, I’ll show you.”
“No, wait, please! You see if I could just see them it would put me in such good heart for the job. I’ve been living on lettuce and stuff like that so long that I’m not as brave as I was; and though I’ve eaten my cow it doesn’t encourage me like my own natural food. You must see that. It’s so reasonable.”
She looked’ at him partly in rage and partly in doubt.” H’m! “she sniffed, “you’re the flabbiest thing in ogres I’ve ever met, and I’ve met a few in my time. Do you mean to say that if I’d shown them to you, this morning you’d have done the King in?”
“Yes,” he replied eagerly, “that’s it. Just a glimpse of those nice little well-filled-out children—which you promised me so faithfully—would have made me quite anxious to do it.’ But I never even got a peep at them,” he went on pathetically.” You must own it’s hard on me.”
“I’ll get even with the funny man,” growled Mother Meldrum.” Well, suppose- I bring them both back? Will you go straight off at once as soon as you’ve had a look at them and do what I want? “
“Oh, yes! I’ll just have one good look at them and I’ll go at-once. Of course if I could have a piece of one first, just to encourage me properly, so to speak—”
“Well, you won’t. You’ll see them when I’ve got them safely here and then you’ll be off, or you’ll see what I’m like when really annoyed. Did you bring your axe with you? “
“Yes, I’ve got it here.” He went to a corner of the kitchen and produced a mighty battle-axe and balanced it in his hand.” Many’s the stout man-at-arms I’ve laid out with this in the old days.”
“The days when you had some pluck, you mean.”
“Yes, that’s it. But my pluck’s coming back. And if you give me a nice roast pig for dinner, it’ll come back more. And when I see those dear little children waiting for me, it’ll fix it for keeps.” His eyes were rolling and his teeth were sho
wing fiercely now, and he handled the axe, which any other man could scarcely lift, as if it were a medium-sized chopper.
“Yes,” said Mother Meldrum, after watching him for a moment, “I think that’s the way it will have to be. I see you need some practical encouragement, being the worm you are, so wait here until I come back with them. Keep your courage up by thinking about them. It’s taken a long time to work you up to this, Golithos,”she went on with a fierce laugh, “but I think I’ve done it at last. You’ll get what you want, and I’ll get that I want—Revenge! “
She sprang’ up and did a hideous dance of joy round the kitchen, footing it with an agility that seemed marvellous Considering her years. Golithos, whose long dormant savagery was awakening fast, laughed long and boisterously. Truly a terrible scene. Let us not linger over it.
The Marvellous Land of Snergs Page 13
