She took my hand and pressed her cheek into my palm. I closed my eyes and took a breath, savoring her touch. Not wanting to, but knowing I needed to in order to keep my composure, I slowly pulled my hand away and changed the subject.
“I’d like to take you on a carriage ride around the city before I take you home. Would you like that?”
She looked at me, almost expressionless. “That would be wonderful, and it’s very thoughtful of you, Erik.”
I wanted to ask her how she felt about gaining her freedom back, but then I decided I may not want to know the answer, so I didn’t ask.
While we were cleaning up from supper, she questioned me about the doctor’s instructions. When I told her I was basically back at square one, she insisted that she treat it again. I didn’t resist her, since it was probably the last time she’d be doing it. So, soon the teakettle was whistling and we were back in our usual spots.
She was exceptionally gentle, saying she didn’t want to disturb the stitches. I would have enjoyed her final touch more if I weren’t watching the clock and nervously anticipating the coming hours. By the time five p.m. rolled around, we were finished with my treatment and sitting by the fire talking.
“Christine,” I began, “I’d like you to pamper yourself for an hour. Take a bubble bath or whatever will make you feel good—feel relaxed. Then I’ll have a surprise waiting for you when you’re finished. But, remember, don’t come out here until the hour is up. Understand?”
Then she gave me that face that drove me crazy. I wanted to grab her and kiss her face all over every time she did it. She cocked her head, looked at me, and wrinkled her nose.
“What are you up to, Erik? Why can’t I be out here? Are you also going to pamper yourself?”
“Sure. Whatever you want to think, my sweet. Just don’t come out until then. Oh, and if you don’t mind, I’d like you to wear the deep purple velvet dress tonight.”
“Won’t you give me a hint, please, Erik? How can I relax in a bubble bath while not knowing what you’re doing out here?”
I walked up to her, held her chin in my hand, and looked down at her. “Let me put it this way, my curious little temptress. The sooner you get out of here and leave me alone, the sooner you’ll know what I’m doing. Is that fair?”
“No,” she pouted, as she turned around and headed for her room. But when she reached her door she stopped, tuned, and smiled. “Not even one little hint?”
“Get out of here, or do I have to put you in the tub myself?”
I started toward her and she quickly darted behind the door and closed it. I chuckled and thought, too bad. That would have been fun to do.”
With her gone, I headed for the kitchen where I started our dessert, made of fresh strawberries, melted chocolate, and sweet cream. I then spread a new linen cloth over the coffee table and set up candles all around the room. When everything looked the way I wanted it, I took care of myself.
I washed up and dressed in one of my finest black tails, white ruffled shirts, small white silk neck scarf, and black brocade vest, along with the proper number of rings. I put the box of pearls in my pocket and patted it with a smile.
Then I went back and finished the dessert, turned out all the lights, and lit all the candles. I set the dessert on the coffee table and left to get a good port wine and glasses. I was walking through the dining room with the bottle in one hand and the glasses in the other, when I heard her door open.
When she appeared, I stopped in my tracks. I knew she was beautiful, and I knew that dress was beautiful when I bought it, but I wasn’t prepared for the way the candle light flickered on the rich purple and the way she filled out every curve in that dress. Together, they defied description. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was more than beautiful; she was gorgeous. I don’t know how long we stood there gazing at each other before she broke the silence.
“Erik, what’s this all about?”
“Spending the last evening of a momentous adventure with the woman I love.” I moved to the coffee table without taking my eyes off her. “You look gorgeous tonight, Christine.”
“I could say the same about you, Erik, but I’m not sure I’d use the word—gorgeous.”
“Well, thank you, my dear. Won’t you please sit down,” I said as I took her hand and guided her to her usual spot on the divan.
I prepared a plate for her, poured her a glass of wine and one for myself, and then I sat on the other end of the divan, instead of my chair. I started up a light conversation about how well her lessons had been going since she’d been here and wondering what the weather was like. Then with a nervous smile, I handed her the gift box.
Her eyes widened. “Erik, you’ve given me so much these last few days. You really didn’t have to give me anything more.”
“I know I didn’t, but I wanted to,” I responded as I turned sideways on the divan and spread my arm out over its back. “Now, open it.”
When she took the top off, she stared down into the box. Then she looked up at me. “Are they real?”
I actually laughed aloud. “Certainly, Christine. I would never think of giving you anything other than the genuine product.”
She was stammering over her words as she tried to thank me, while I got to my feet and moved behind the divan and behind her. I took the pearls, which by then were lying over her fingers, and placed them around her neck. I ran my fingers slowly against her neck and under her hair, pulling it out and over the pearls, and allowing my fingers to enjoy their journey in the process.
She was rolling the pearls between her fingers as I sat back down. “They’re so beautiful, Erik. I’ve never seen such pearls. I’ve looked at pearls in the jeweler’s window before, but I’ve never seen such large ones, and the color is exceptional. They’re exquisite.”
“Now we can both appreciate that section in the book Jacob.”
“Really? These are Tahitian pearls? But I thought they were hard to find.”
“They were, but that was a hundred years ago. They’ve repopulated, but they’re still considered precious and are protected by the French government.”
She was looking down at them and shaking her head. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You’ve already said enough. Now let’s eat so we can go for a nice ride.”
We finished and put on our cloaks, Christine in her deep purple and me in my black. I made sure my hat was pulled down, Christine’s hood was up, and both our heads were down when we approached the side door.
It was dark and one of the busiest times at that door, so we slipped through the people and outside without much notice. I hailed a brougham and gave him a list of all the places I wanted him to go, with Madame Valerius’ as the last stop, and then we were on our way.
We traveled slowly to the different sites. All of them I’d seen while riding alone; such as the Cathedral of Notre Dame, the Champs Elysées, the Luxembourg Palace, the Longchamp race course, and we just had to ride along the Seine River. It was a beautiful evening, with a slight breeze, and I was cherishing every minute of it.
I watched Christine as the shadows moved across her face, and I listened to her sweet voice while she talked about how much she’d enjoyed all we’d done and how much she loved her new dresses and pearls. She made a comment about not being able to bring all I’d given her with her and that perhaps she could visit me and get the rest at another time. I naturally agreed.
I had to keep taking deep breaths, while trying to calm my stomach. I was both excited and anxious over what I was about to do.
We rode around for almost two hours and talked about many things, and I believe we were both comfortable in doing so. She looked so relaxed and that also helped me to relax my nervous stomach. It was so easy to talk with Christine, and while I’d tried to be honest with her during the last four days, right then it was especially easy to let my guard down and talk freely, even more than I could with Oded.
I knew I was running out
of time and would miss my opportunity if I didn’t speak up soon, but I couldn’t get those first few words out. I watched one scenic location after another pass by, and I started several times to begin my strange request, but then I backed out. Finally, there was a lull in the conversation, so I took a deep breath and began. I leaned forward, placed my elbows on my knees, took another deep breath, reached for and held her hands in mine, and began.
“I realize, Christine, that this is all very strange for you, but I only ask that you listen with your pure heart and hear what mine is speaking to you. I love you, and I have since the first time I saw you on that stage with Meg. I know it’s no secret to you by now, but I want you to be certain of my motives. It’s because of my love for you that I speak to you at this time.
“I’m laying my heart at your feet and telling you what I want out of my life—and yours. Raoul was right on many occasions when he spoke about me, but he was also terribly wrong. I am just a man and I do want something from you for selfish reasons. But I won’t take anything from you that you don’t want to give me.
“I didn’t take you down to my home to take advantage of you or hurt you in any way, and I believe you know that now. I love you, Christine, above all else I love you, and I could never hurt you. I want you to love me, and I want you to agree to marry me, but only if and when you’re ready to and not a second sooner.
“Oh, I know you’re probably thinking it’s impossible, since it hasn’t even been a week since you came to know my true nature, and in another time and place I might agree with you. But I’ve seen many things during my life come to pass that I at one time thought impossible.”
I lowered my sight to our hands together and ran my fingers over hers, and then in a reflective tone I continued, “I had a wife once, well, almost a wife. She loved me and was willing to marry me, but she died before that could happen. So now I only have the memory of a dead wife, and she can’t ever be a living wife for me.” I looked back up at her. “But you can, Christine. You can be a living wife for me.
“Perhaps I’m crazy for telling you all of this so soon. Perhaps I should have waited until you came to love me, if that day ever comes, but I wanted you to know everything up front. I never want there to be any question in your mind about my intentions.
“I want you to marry me. That’s my intention, and if you agree I’ll lay the world at your feet. You’ve already seen that I’ve withheld nothing from you, whether it was in the form of something monetary like your jewelry, or emotional comfort such as at your father’s gravesite, or something inspirational like your voice.
“I want to give you everything and take care of you. I want to take you anywhere you want to go. I wouldn’t expect you to live down in my home with me. But, in time, if you agree to marry me, it will no longer be my home, unless you want it to be. We’ll live wherever you wish, anywhere in the world.”
I looked down at my hands and twisted the gold band on my finger. “This ring means more to me than anyone can imagine. I haven’t been without it for thirty-five years, and it carries a piece of my heart and always will.”
I slid it off my finger and turned it in the passing lamplight. “I never thought I could be without this ring. It actually means more to me than the finger I wear it on, if that gives you any idea of the value I put on it. But I’m now asking you to wear it. Not for real, but just pretend.
“When I lost my almost wife, I had nothing of her in the way of a wife to remember her by. But now that you have spent these days with me, I can see and feel what it would be like to have a wife to share my life with. I only want to pretend that I have a wife for however long it takes you to decide if you can become my real wife. So I ask that you wear this ring for me, just until you make your choice.”
I made sure I was looking her directly in her eyes and she was looking into mine when I made my next comment. “I’m not asking you to betray your chastity. I’m not asking you to invite me into your bed or anything of that nature. I only want to pretend for as long as I can. Just pretend. It would only be a pretend marriage.
“While you’re deciding, and if you want, you can visit me just as often as you’d like. We can sing and eat together, or read and talk. I only want to pretend that you’re my living wife. That way, if you choose to leave me forever, I’ll at least have that memory.”
I held out my hand toward hers and waited for her response. She studied my eyes intensely, and I remained silent and still while I waited for her to answer my most unusual, and a bit pathetic, request. Then slowly she did it. She raised her left hand out of her lap and held it close to mine.
I took a breath of relief and reached for her hand. Then, through the moisture in my eyes, I watched our hands together, and as the lamplight came and went, and as the rhythmic sounds of the horses’ hooves on the cobblestones kept time with my beating heart, I slid my gold band on her finger. Then I closed her precious hand in mine for a moment before I kissed the back of it.
“I thank you immensely, Christine. You have no idea what this means to me. I’ll now have memories of a woman with my band of gold on her finger and the memory of me putting it there. If nothing more, I’ll always have that special cherished memory. Thank you, my angel.”
I again raised her hand and kissed its back along with the ring.
She smiled warmly while looking into my eyes and then said softly, “Erik, you’re a very unusual man. You have so many skills and such deep passion. I’ve never met anyone like you; in fact, I never dreamt anyone like you existed. I know you want me to be honest with you, and that’s what I’m trying to be. Although I’m not sure just what honesty is at the moment. I’m not sure what my heart is telling me right now.
“These last few days have been a whirlwind of everything I love, singing, reading, stories, cooking, and simply sitting and talking. While they may not have started out that way, they’ve been some of the best days of my life. You make me feel safe and at ease. Being with you is like having a warm blanket around me on a cold winter’s night. You make me feel secure, without having to make decisions about anything. The most I’ve had to decide is what to prepare for our dinners. It’s been like a glorious vacation.”
She stopped talking and looked out of the window, and I didn’t know what to say or do since the tone in her voice left the conversation up in the air; therefore, I waited. I let go of her hand, sat back up, leaned against the seat, and watched her. I glanced down at her hands in her lap, feeling the ring on her finger. She appeared to be captivated by the trees passing our windows, but I knew she was in deep thought.
There wasn’t another word spoken between us. I wasn’t sure why she was quiet, but I was quiet because I didn’t want to say or do anything that would spoil the precious moments of watching the woman who’d just agreed to be my living wife. I also glanced out of the window and recognized the street we were on. After that, I kept my sights on the marvelous woman in front of me, knowing that she would soon be stepping out of the carriage, and we would both be stepping into the unknown.
When the carriage came to a halt, I waited for the driver to open the door. Then my heart tore apart when I stepped down, knowing I would be returning to my home alone. I gave Christine my hand, and she graciously accepted it. All was quiet, and even the air was still as she stepped down and looked up at me. I searched for the courage to tell her goodbye, but she laid her hand on my arm before I found it.
“Wait here a minute, Erik. I have something I want you to have. I won’t be long.”
Then she turned and walked up the steps and in the front door. I didn’t know what she had in mind, but I was glad I was rescued from having to tell her goodbye just yet. The minutes passed as I waited. Nervously, I leaned against the carriage, I paced on the walkway, I leaned against a lamp post, I climbed the steps and paced more, I thumped my fingers rhythmically on the carriage door, and I looked at my watch several times.
It had been over fifteen minutes since she left, and I couldn’t help b
ut be concerned about her delay. Is this it? Is this how it ends? Is she not going to grant me one last and final goodbye? My imagination sprung open and out of it walked Raoul. He had to be inside and preventing Christine from leaving. Why else would she take so long? I went back up the steps and tried to see in the windows. The lights were on but I saw no one. I listened carefully for his voice, but I heard no one.
I went back to the carriage and watched the windows, waiting for a sign that she was coming back. I headed back toward the steps with the intention of knocking on the door, but then, through the lace curtains, I saw her coming down the hall. I was pacing beside the carriage when she finally appeared in the doorway. I rushed up the steps and took her arm as she came down them. I waited breathlessly for her to explain her actions.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long, Erik. I thought Mummy would be asleep but she wasn’t, and she had many questions. However, she wasn’t concerned about my disappearance; in fact, she even told the police that I was probably with my Angel of Music and that they had no need to fear for my safety. I’m sorry she told them that. I hope it doesn’t cause you more trouble.”
“No need to apologize. I’ll be fine.”
“I have something I want you to have. This was my dear father’s. It was part of his performance attire when he was with the symphony. Here, open it,” she said as she handed me the long, slender black box.
“Why, thank you, Christine. What a nice thought and surprise. I’ll cherish it.”
When I opened it, I saw a white silk neck scarf with a treble clef embroidered on it in black. Attached to it, was a gold pin in the shape of a violin.
“Oh, Christine! Are you sure you want to part with this?”
“Yes, and I believe my father would approve. He was proud of this and often mentioned that he wouldn’t have them if it weren’t for his Angel of Music.” She looked up into my eyes. “You were his angel, whether you were heavenly or not. You and your words rescued him at a time when he was nearly lost. You gave him hope. You gave him courage. So you deserve to have these.”
Through Phantom Eyes: Volume Five - Christine Page 44
