“Dumani? I came to check on you. It’s bad out there. Are you okay?”
“Yes. You shouldn’t be here.”
The bed sinks under his weight when he sits beside me. His fingers brush my hair out of my face.
“I know, but I couldn’t stay away. I was worried about you and for good reason. You’re a mess. I’ll heat water for a bath and make you something to eat.”
“Go home, Judea.”
He doesn’t go home. It takes an hour to heat water for my bath. It takes another twenty minutes to get me out of bed and downstairs. I am covering my body with my arms refusing to remove my dress.
“Take it off.”
“I can’t.”
“I’ve seen you naked before, Duma. So, have other men.”
I burst into tears. He isn’t expecting this reaction out of me. I turn away from him in shame.
“You hate me.” I sob into my hands. “I’m trying to be better. I promise I am. I’ve been praying on it. I don’t want you to see me like this. What kind of wife am I?”
“Dumani.” Judea says in a tortured voice. “I don’t hate you.”
I gasp when his arms come around me. One above my stomach and one below. I lean back against him and close my eyes.
“I don’t hate you, my sweet wife.” His lips kiss the side of my throat. “I want to fuck you.” His hands squeeze my full breasts and he grinds himself against my ass. His hands move down and cover the mound of another man’s child. They rest there. I get chills.
“Judea.”
He turns me in his arms and grabs my hair before he kisses me. Judea is kissing me. I am kissing him back. I don’t want to stop. He’s touching me. He’s touching me all over.
“Get in the tub.” He orders. I let him remove my dress and see me in the nude.
“I’m hurt. I won’t lie. I’m all fucked up inside but this is my fault. It’s one hundred percent my fault. I pushed you out and I chased you away. I’m sorry for bringing those women into our marriage. I put the church before you. I did so many terrible things to you. Do you think you will forgive me one day?”
“Do you think you can love me again one day?”
“No.” He says pressing his forehead to mine. “I can’t love you again because I never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you.”
“What about the baby?”
“You are my wife.”
“You divorced me.”
“I didn’t divorce you. I would never divorce you. I didn’t get married again because I want you and I want this baby.”
“You do?”
“I want all of you. I wanted to touch you the moment I saw you up on that balcony like a captive princess. I flew halfway around the world to see your beautiful face again.”
“Judea, I know what they say I am. What are you?”
“I am a man, Beloved. Nothing more. The man with the honor of protecting you and the pleasure of loving you until the day I die.”
I am grateful when I sink into the tub in front of the kitchen fireplace. Judea puts together a small pot of soup. I watch him roll out biscuit dough like he’s done it a few times. He looks up and catches me watching him.
“After I got rid of my wives, I had to learn to cook for myself.” He explains.
“What happened to them?”
“They’re dead. That’s what happened.”
Judea picks up the sponge. I hand him a cake of soap. His hands build up a lather as I watch with anticipation. He leans over to kiss me again. Judea.
“God, Dumani. I missed you so fucking much.” He says huskily.
“I missed you too.”
“Can I make love to you?”
“Will you make love to me?”
“My love.” He whispers rubbing the sponge over my shoulder. “I will never let you go again. Not for the church. Not for anyone. You are coming to live with me as husband and wife and we will raise our children together.”
“Please, don’t change your mind.” I cling to his hand.
“We’ve been apart for too long. I am not changing my mind. I love you and I am going to spend forever showing you how much.” He bathes me and feeds me and we speak quietly at the kitchen table we grew up around. I’m nervous and excited at the same time when he offers me his hand. Time for talking is over. I take it and he pulls me to my feet. I am pregnant with another man’s child but I still want him. I want him so badly that I am already wet between my legs. He pulls me into Hannah’s bedroom. I wonder if he knows it’s hers. Maybe it’s because the bed is the biggest.
“I am thankful to whoever removed your scar. I missed seeing your face when it was covered up.” He strokes his thumb over my bottom lip. “I used to enjoy sucking on this lip.”
I enjoyed it too and I enjoy his demonstration right now. Judea is a wonderful kisser.
“I enjoyed sucking on you.” I say reaching for his waistband. “Can I?”
“Hell yes.” He eases me down onto my knees as gently as he can. My Judea. I worship him with my mouth the way a demon taught me until he comes down my throat with shaking legs. He picks me up easily. His dark eyes burn into me. He didn’t teach me that and he knows it.
“I have one question about where you’ve been, Dumani.” Judea slides into me. “Who do you belong to?”
“You. I belong to you.” I’ll swear it on my life. “I am yours and I am not leaving you and my son again.” Not even for Mino. Not if Judea gives me a chance to fix my family.
“I won’t let you go.”
There aren’t many positions that we can do it in but Judea hit them all. It feels better than before. He makes love to me like it’s his baby that I’m carrying. He takes me from behind with a handful of titty and the other full of baby.
“You are mine. This baby is mine.” He loves me. He loves me the way I need him to love me. The way no one loved my fallen mother.
“You were there for me when I needed you, Dumani. I will be here for you.”
Just like Mino said he would. If he loves you the way I do, he will take you back, he said.
“I love you, Judea.”
“I know you do. Don’t cry.” He says with a kiss to my temple. “Everything is going to be okay. I mean it. I want to be with you. That’s all I care about.”
The next morning, he shovels and does my chores. After the paths are clear he throws salt to melt the ice. It’s still black as night out here. It won’t look good if they know he spent the night at my house. I don’t want him to go. He knows it and he doesn’t want to go either.
“If this is my baby, there is no reason for you to stay here. I’ll be back for you and your things after church. Put your feet up and sit tight.”
“I enjoyed having you over last night.”
“We are together, Dumani. I’m not going to change my mind. Go inside, it’s cold out here.”
I go inside but I watch him leave through the window. I spread a bale of the clean hay in the loft and take a nap.
“Miss Dare? It’s Gene Miner and a few of the men from church. I haven’t seen you at church in a while and I figured the right thing to do is to come out here and check on you.”
I hear him enter the house alone and close the door. Why are they in my house?
“Miss Dare? Where are you?” He’s checking the kitchen. Now he’s going up the stairs. I reach under my pillow and I palm my pistol.
“The stove is still warm. She’s here. Hurry up.” I hear splashing and cans banging together.
“That’s enough, do it.”
My house flares up like the head of a struck match. Oh, my God. They are trying to kill me!
“Stand around the house in case she tries to run for it. We can’t let her come back here and get in the Reverend’s head again. She’s poison.”
I don’t think they realize how close Judea lives to me or how clear his view is from the hill. I see his truck flying over the pasture already. My face is glued to the loft window. They think they are burning me. He
jumps out of his truck running.
“Dumani!” He cries looking around the small crowd for me. “Dumani? Where are you?”
“What happened? Where is she?”
“We did what we had to be done, Reverend. Stand back.”
“Oh, my God. No. What did you do? Dumani!” They tackle him when he tries to run into the burning building. The way he’s sobbing my name is heart breaking. The house is engulfed in flames. He’ll be killed if he runs in there.
“Let me go damn you! She’s my wife. Dumani!”
“It’s too late, Reverend. We burned her.”
His pistols come out of nowhere. He raises both hands and he guns down the group in the yard. The snow bleeds red underneath them. Judea is staring into the fire screaming my name like he’s waiting for me to come running out. I’m afraid to let them know that I am still alive. My first instinct is to run. I swore that I wouldn’t run again and I can’t stand to see him crying like this. I knock on the window. He aims both guns at me when he turns towards the sound. They lower when he sees me. He’s coming. I’m waiting at the top of the ladder. He grabs me roughly and hugs me hard as he cries in relief. I hold him and I cry too. Any doubts that I had about the way he feels about me are washed away with his tears.
“I was so afraid. I thought I’d lost you again.” Judea pulls away to look at me through his wet eyes. I’m perfectly fine. I was afraid that he would run into the burning house and I’d have to go in after him. We would’ve died saving each other. Judea glances at the pallet where I was sleeping. The same pallet he pushes me down onto.
“They tried to burn me. They want me dead. They—”
His lips cut me off. No one is burning me. I won’t let it happen and neither will Judea. My house is still in flames when he puts me into his truck and drives me to his house. I can see it burning from here. I grew up in that house. I wipe the hot tears flowing from my eyes. I will rebuild it better than before. I’ve never been to Judea’s house. It is bigger and grander than I expected. Nothing can compare to the opulence of what I saw in Italy or the Antonov estate. But, by church standards this is sinfully close. This is excessive and screams greed. I stand on the mat near the door because I don’t want to track snow on the shiny wood floors. Everything looks new and expensive. Judea gets halfway across the grand entryway before he realizes I’m not with him.
“It’s fine, Duma. I can mop later.”
Jude comes back and gets down on one knee in front of me. I look around at the art hanging on the brightly painted walls and the modern furniture. He tugs at my old boots until they come off. He holds one of them in his hands for a moment. How long have I been wearing Titus’ old boots? Is that what he is thinking about? He puts them beside the door in the long line of shoes that belong to people who aren’t coming back for them.
“You are finally home.” He says blinking back tears. Home. This is my home now. Judea stands and types some numbers into the electric panel by the door. It beeps twice. It’s a security alarm. Hand in hand he walks me through the house. It’s beautiful everywhere. Being the good Reverend pays great. He takes me to Judi’s room first where he’s sleeping soundly with one of the old women from the church dozing in a chair nearby. This is a bedroom right out of a children’s picture book. I am glad he is growing up in place like this. It gets drafty in my old house. Jude’s bedroom is across the hall. It is bigger than our barn. It’s so nice and clean that I stand here looking around.
“You’ve never been here before, have you?” He muses. “Father thought he was a king. This house was built to fit his ego.” He removes my dress and pulls back the dark blue cover on his huge bed. “Get in.”
I settle into the feather soft mattress with a sigh. It smells like him under the blankets. He picks up his phone and he calls for an early church service. He wants to speak with the straggly remains of the original members at dawn and the new members an hour later.
“Maybe I should have stayed away. I am a bad omen.”
“You are my wife, Duma. This is my home. I want you to stay in bed today. Don’t argue. Stay in bed and read banned books. Do you understand me?” He asks leaning over to kiss my head. I nod my head yes.
“You are nearing the end of your pregnancy. I will raise this child and love him or her like my own because I love you.”
“Judea.” I cover his hand with mine as Maximino’s baby roll inside of me. He has always had a way of taking my words from me and replacing them with his name. It’s all I can say. Judea. I sniffle and blink back tears.
“Don’t cry, Beloved. Look at us. We made it. The world fell around us and we are still standing.”
“Yes, we did.” I whisper.
“We’ll talk later. I’ll tell you everything I know about your mother. No more secrets. No more anything but us and our family.”
“Hurry back.”
“I will always hurry home to you. I always have.”
I watch him leave with a smile. I’m home.
Chapter Forty-six
Jude keeps his gear out in his quarantine where his father set up a decontamination room. This is where he cleaned his suit after he burned his family in the metal silo. Shadrach should’ve done the same because his fire didn’t spread. He gears up and slings his bag over his shoulder. He drives his father’s truck down the centerline of the black highway. He’s more comfortable in the dark. It’s light that makes him draw his gun, not the dark. That’s why he drives with them off morning or night so no one sees him coming. He grew up in this town. He can walk anywhere with his eyes closed. This is his home. His heart is so full that his dick is hard. His family is back together. He cares about the baby but he doesn’t care that he isn’t the Father, he had two children with other women. Jude pulls up to the church early. The staunchest members are already waiting. There is a fire going and someone made coffee. He takes an offered cup with a grateful nod. It’s black the way he likes it. The fire is new and hasn’t taken the chill out of the air yet. His breath mingles with the steam from the mug. It warms his quickly chilling fingers.
“Close and lock the shutters please. Lock the doors and let us speak in private.”
There are forty men left from our original church. They didn’t want to go to Texas. They like it here and they like the new rules about TV and happy wives.
“They tried to burn Dumani alive. She’s been through enough and God knows what she got herself into out there. There is only one woman for me and she’s home in my bed where she’s going to stay. We have a child due in a few months and I want her comfortable. I don’t care where she’s been or who likes it. We all know what she means to the church.”
“We should pray for a girl child. A girl child to marry one of our children. My son, Hans, is two. It would be an excellent marriage. My family can protect her.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It could be a boy.” Judea says smiling. “If it is I’ll have to keep trying.”
“What do you aim to do about the fire?”
“It’s time to clean house and start over. I say we send them back where they came from.”
“Amen, Reverend.”
The newcomers pack into the church buzzing about the fire. All two hundred of the men and a few of the women. Ellie is sitting up front. She stands when she see’s him.
“Good Reverend, we’d all like to extend our condolences on the loss of Judea’s mother. Even though she isn’t a member of the church, she was—”
“Dumani Hamilton is my wife.”
“She’s an outsider. A whore. Everyone knows what she did, Reverend. She shouldn’t be allowed to live among us.”
“Is that why you burned her out while she’s carrying my child?”
“That’s a lie! Her child isn’t yours. She was already pregnant when she showed up here. You are possessed by her.” Ellie yells.
“Her child is mine. I fucked her and I put it inside her. There is no such thing as witchcraft. It’s a story made up like Santa Claus.”
<
br /> “I overheard you speaking with her brother about her. You sounded afraid.”
“Afraid like you should be.” Judea backs out of the church though the double doors. They slam shut and a steel beam is dropped into place. The people inside begin to bang and yell his name.
“Now, Reverend?”
Jude nods his head and the man to his right strikes a match. The kerosene catches and the fire spreads upward like it’s supposed to. The smoke is filling the church and the people inside are screaming for their lives. Jude and the men listen as the screaming turns into choking. The men head to their trucks only after the last cough stops and the last fist bangs on the door.
“Are we going to rebuild it?” Someone asks.
“Nah, why don’t we all meet at my place on Sunday for dinner and talk about it? Bring your families.”
“Sounds good to me. We’ll bring food.”
“I look forward to it, Reverend.”
“Judea, call me Judea.”
“We should come up with a name for our town and draw up some new land boundaries with so many empty buildings and land sitting fallow around here.”
“We can talk about it on Sunday. I’m freezing my ass off.”
The men laugh and go their separate ways.
“Judea.” I gasp as he enters me from behind. He’s back from his meeting. I come awake with him moving inside of me. He’s wet from the shower. I don’t care. I don’t mind being wet. I want him anyway I can have him. I push back against him to meet his slow, steady, rhythm. I don’t know what happened to the church or why they razed the site. I never asked why they didn’t rebuild or why we never had another service. Judea sat me down as promised and he told me everything he knew about me. Afterward, he unlocked his father’s safe and pulled out an ancient looking book with an odd symbol on the front. It belonged to my ancestor but no one could translate the strange script. Except me. I don’t know why and neither did Jude. It is a book of spells. A book that teaches me everything I need to know about being a witch. We have Christmas dinner and later that night, Judea delivers the baby. I didn’t care about the pain. I just wanted to see Maximino again through his child.
The Doomsday Papers Page 50
