by Diane Darcy
Again she smiled. “You’re being protective, which just made my point. You’re a good man.”
“A name.”
She shrugged. “It was long ago and far away.”
“I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
She smiled. “I already know that. Like I said, I know the type. You don’t fit that particular mold.”
Her unwavering belief had him smiling at her. The wind blew her red hair back away from her face and he wished so badly he had the right to reach forward and do the same with his hand.
They continued their circuit and ended up partially in the shadows where it was more private.
“Rachel.” Slowly he bent his head and kissed her gently, just once, and when she didn’t move away it gave him hope. “Rachel, I’d like to marry you.”
Her beautiful blue eyes gazed up at him. “Why?”
“Why?” He struggled for words, wondering what she wanted to hear and only coming up with, “You deal well with Cassie.”
“I do.” Her expression was unreadable.
A feeling of uneasiness stirred his gut. “And my mother.”
“Yes, that’s true.” Her tone revealed nothing.
Sweat broke out on his back. His mind blanked. He was proposing, but couldn’t think what to say, hadn’t practiced, hadn’t thought he’d ever be in this position again. A mail-order bride didn't need a proposal. It was already taken care of. “I paid for your train ticket.”
She blinked up at him. “Yes, you did.”
He was making a hash of this. What was it a woman yearned to hear? “You agreed in your letter to marry me.”
She sighed and looked away toward the people gathered around the fire. “That was negated when you released me from our contract.”
A growing sense of desperation seized him. He wanted her. He didn’t want another man to have her. She’d let him kiss her. Didn’t she want him back? “Rachel, you are less experienced than I, but there is passion between us. And I could give you stability and security. Something it seems you’ve lacked for quite a long while.”
She shook her head slightly and his feeling of panic welled. He couldn’t think.
“I have that now, though. I have a job as Cassie’s governess and, in future, Mr. Klein has agreed to hire me.”
“I could provide for you much better than a job will. Don’t forget, you were employed before, yet you arrived in rags.”
She flinched.
He was messing this up. He just wasn't sure how. He was offering her everything he had. He could make a marriage between them work. He could make her happy if she said yes. He clutched her hand, but it remained limp in his grasp. “Please, marry me. You’ll be the best dressed woman in town, I can promise you that.” He willed her to agree.
Her lips tightened and finally she met his gaze with a frosty one of her own. She withdrew her hand. “Not if you were the last man in this entire town.” She turned and walked away.
He gaped as he watched her leave.
Had he said something wrong?
~~~
After everyone helped clean up, Rachel rode home with the Gentrys in their buggy. The companionable silence gave her too much time to think, and with the negative emotions still flooding her, she couldn’t tune out thoughts of Thomas and his proposal.
She felt like a fool.
Why had she let him kiss her? Why had she enjoyed it so much? She’d believed things were changing between them. She’d started to see him differently, was starting to trust him.
But it looked like she was the only one who’d been carried away. Marry me because you’re good with my child? You deal with my mother well enough? Because you won’t have to dress in rags anymore?
Didn’t he feel anything for her at all?
Granted they hadn’t known each other long, but they had been getting acquainted. She’d thought so, anyway. There was attraction between them. A softening of feelings. On her part, at least.
The way he looked at her. Spoke to her. The way he touched her. She’d thought that perhaps, with time, they could have something together. Build a relationship based on attraction, respect, affection.
He thought they had kids and clothes in common.
She wanted to scream, but she’d scare the lot of them, including the horse, if she did so.
She had to look at the way things were, not the way she wished them to be. She was attracted to him, but he obviously didn't feel the same way.
For her own peace of mind, she needed to avoid the man.
Chapter Eleven
Thomas was at work the next day when Edward Klein came in. Thomas was aware Edward hadn’t ordered anything recently, or ever for that matter. Unless, of course, Franklin had taken the order. He shot Franklin a questioning look.
Franklin shook his head.
Thomas went into the front to face the other man over the counter. “May I help you?”
“Have you got anything new in?”
“Revolver or rifle?”
“Revolver.”
Edward wasn’t interested in guns, and Thomas had to admit he’d thought the other man had come in to talk about Rachel. “Always.” Thomas pulled a couple of guns from under the counter. “This one is older, but it’s in good shape and we’ve cleaned it up and tested it. It shoots straight. I purchased it from a traveler passing through town last week. It’s a Gasser. Hungarian. It was used by their Cavalry in 1870s. The barrel is attached to the frame by a screw beneath the cylinder arbor and has a safety bar right here.” Thomas pointed to the right of the frame just below the cylinder. “It's also got a locking mechanism, and can be carried safely when loaded. It chambers an 11.2mm cartridge but I can order those in if you like the piece.”
Edward didn’t make a move toward the gun.
Thomas picked up the other one. “This is new. We had it shipped from Hartford.” Thomas had no doubt he’d sell it within the week. Maybe today, if Edward was serious about a purchase. “It's a double action revolver with a swing-out cylinder that’s released by this sliding latch." Thomas demonstrated. "This enables much faster loading, but it also keeps the strength of a solid frame. It's chambered for the .41 Long Colt, .38 Long Colt, and .38 Short Colt cartridges. The cylinder rotates counterclockwise instead of clockwise. It’s as accurate a gun as I’ve ever seen.”
Edward glanced around again. The man wasn't interested in a gun.
“Then we’ve got the usual stuff. And you can order anything you like.”
Thomas didn’t have the patience for Edward to get to the subject. “Something on your mind?”
Edward rubbed his ear. He looked at Franklin who was working on a .45 Schofield and doing a really good impression of a man minding his own business.
Edward cleared his throat. “The truth is, I wanted to talk to you about Rachel. Or rather, Miss West.”
“Yes? What about her?”
“I understand you sent for her as a mail-order bride and it didn’t work out.”
“You seem to know a lot about my business.”
“It’s sort of going around town.”
“Is it now?” Thomas’s tone hardened and he pressed his hands on the counter.
Edward straightened. “There is no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. The thing of it is, if you don’t want her, I do. I’d be glad to reimburse you for any expenses you incurred in bringing her out.”
Pure rage flooded Thomas and his teeth clenched as he gripped the edge of the counter with both hands. Do not punch the man in the mouth. Don’t do that. “You’ve been misinformed. Rachel and I are getting to know each other, with every intention of marrying.”
“Does she know that?”
“That’s none of your business, is it?”
“You force me to be blunt. I heard you sent away for another bride. It sounds to me like you’ll soon have two on your hands. If you’re worried about finding a governess, I could hire another for you until you figure it out.”
“The
answer is no. I’m planning to marry Miss West myself. I don’t know how much clearer I can be.”
They stared at each other across the counter.
“You were a fool to turn her down.”
“Agreed.”
“But you did turn her down. So technically she’s free to choose.”
“Stay out of it, Klein.”
“If you change your mind and want compensation, let me know.” Klein turned and walked out of the building.
How about if he changed his mind about punching the other man in the mouth?
~~~
As he walked home from work in the dimming twilight, Thomas realized he needed to come up with a plan. When he’d built his business, he’d laid out a strategy. And while his business was important, so was marriage.
Why hadn’t he thought about this before? This was now a courting situation. He needed to evaluate, plan, adjust, and continue reaching for his goal.
He’d courted before, when he was younger and optimistic about marriage. He just had to remember how to do it again.
When he’d considered sending for a mail-order bride, if he could have described the perfect woman for him, it would have been Rachel. He wanted her in his life. She was of good character, was responsible, loving, intelligent.
How many times had he heard marriage wasn’t easy? Was he just going to give up? No. She was worth fighting for. She could be counted on, and as lovely as she was, she actually had common sense and he liked her.
Granted, she was so lovely she made his teeth ache. She was beautiful, luscious, exquisite. And she sort of twisted his reasoning when she was in the vicinity.
But he was a man of logic, and he could take that into account and try not to act senseless around the woman.
He arrived a few minutes later, and found his resolve was immediately to be tested. She was at the front door, ready to go home, and from the closed-off expression on her face, she had no intention of engaging in more than basic conversation with him.
Logic, he reminded himself. He needed to act calm and in control. He took a deep breath. “Good evening, Miss West.”
“Good evening. Cassie is finishing her homework in the kitchen. Your mother has had a really good day today, was quite lucid, and is in her bedroom at the moment. There is supper on the table, compliments of Mrs. Polanski. She truly outdid herself. I hope you enjoy it.”
“I wish you’d stay for supper,” he quickly inserted.
“I’m afraid I can’t.”
He took a calming breath. She could, but she was still angry and didn’t want to be around him. “I’d love it if you stayed for supper.”
“I’m sorry, but Mrs. Gentry and I have plans tonight.”
Eating supper with Mrs. Gentry was no doubt the plan. “What if I were to walk you home?”
“No need. You never have before, so I don’t see that it’s necessary now.”
That stung, as it was no doubt meant to. “It may not be necessary, but I’m going to have to insist.”
“Why?”
He could tell her he wanted to spend time in her company, but suspected she already knew that. “It’s my responsibility to see you safely home.”
Her jaw jutted forward, and heaven help him, he even found her stubbornness attractive. There were other men all over town, all of the country, all over the world who’d married. He certainly could not have been the first suitor to experience such stubbornness. “After you.”
She shot him a look of frustration and headed out the door.
Sir Lancelot quickly shot after them. He wasn’t even surprised. The cat was an ever present specter in her life and Thomas was actually growing fond of the ugly thing. “Your shadow is following.”
She glanced briefly at the animal trotting after them and her gaze softened.
Why couldn’t she look at him that way? What did he have to do? Let his tongue hang out of his mouth?
Realization that he’d do it, if it would make a difference, frustrated him.
As they walked along, she was not her usual talkative self. He realized he loved her chatter, maybe because he was so quiet himself. He loved listening to her voice, her ideas and general observations. Having the conversation rest upon his own shoulders, when he wasn’t talking about guns, business, or politics, seemed to tie his tongue. None of those topics would be of interest to Rachel.
She walked faster as they strolled down the sidewalk.
“Whoa. Slow down a bit. It’s a beautiful evening. Don’t you want to enjoy it? You’ve been cooped up in the house most of the day, and will probably be inside the rest of the evening, as well. Let’s enjoy being outdoors.”
She did slow, and she glanced around at the darkening neighborhood. He kept himself from heaving a sigh of relief that he’d hit upon something that might actually work with her. “Is this area much different from your own? I mean, New York, or Massachusetts?”
“It’s actually even lovelier here.” She shot him a quick smile. “But if you tell my mother I said that, I’ll deny it.”
He chuckled.
He thought he saw her shoulders soften slightly and he searched frantically for a way to extend the conversation.
“It’s an appealing place. You came at a good time of year. People travel for miles to see the leaves change. You actually just missed the festival a couple of weeks ago, though I have to say the main attraction seemed to be the beer.”
She laughed at that.
“Next year, I’ll take you to it myself. I think you’ll quite enjoy it.”
She shot him another glance, and at least this one was not full of stiffness or tension. It was more evaluation and question.
“I’m really glad you came here, Rachel.”
She hesitated, then nodded. “It’s been a new experience for me, and an opportunity. It’s odd that a five hour train ride could make such a difference in my life. The situation in Lawrence was…dire toward the end.” She glanced at him. “Your letter was quite welcome, even if you did want a different sort of wife.”
He smiled. “Ah, ha! So you admit you knew you aren’t homely.”
She grinned. “I am skinny with red hair and freckles. There’s no denying that.”
“You’re not skinny, you’re slender and feminine. As for your red hair, it’s glorious, and your freckles are charming.”
“I still admit nothing.”
He glanced at the animal, still trotting behind them. “I’ll admit your cat is homely, anyway. Perhaps you misunderstood my requirements.”
“Hey! I adore that feline.”
“I know, which is probably why I’m growing partial to the animal, myself.”
She smiled again as they slowly walked to the Gentrys'. “He is a little charmer, isn’t he?”
Thomas laughed. “He certainly knows how to land on his feet. To attract the attention of the most beautiful, and the most kind woman in Massachusetts, was his lucky day.” He hesitated. “I’d like one of those lucky days, myself.”
She glanced down, and even in the twilight, he could see her blush. He stopped her, and turned her toward him. They were getting closer to the Gentrys', and he didn’t want to let her go. “Rachel, about my proposal last night—”
She raised a hand. “Please don’t apologize. It’s good to know where I stand.”
He was silent, as he tried to work out her meaning. “Rachel, I’ve been without a wife or a lady in my life for a long period of time. I work with men all day long. I may not know how to say all the pretty words, in fact, I know I don’t. But if you can give me another chance, I’ll work on it.”
She looked down at the side of the dirt road. “Knowing how you truly feel about me, I’m surprised you’re interested in pursuing this any further.”
He felt a surge of panic. “I did everything wrong, I said everything wrong.” He still didn’t know what he’d said wrong. “But I can do better.”
She turned and continued walking again and he stuck to her side, glancing down
at her, frustrated when she wouldn’t look at him.
“Rachel, please, give me another try.”
She stopped again. “When I came here, I wasn’t looking for romantic love. But now, maybe I have a shot at it? My life in this town seems like it will be more settled. Maybe, if I look around, I could find someone who could actually love me.”
Words stuck in his throat. She wanted love? Did he love her? Maybe he could. He certainly had feelings for her, frustration being paramount right that moment. If he told her how he felt, she might scoff and reject him again anyway. Better to focus on her feelings than his. “Rachel, I know you feel something for me.”
She shrugged. “Maybe I do. But I might feel more for someone else if I wait. Perhaps another man might offer me more in the way of emotions.”
He swallowed. “Maybe I want love between us too.”
She glanced at him warily. “Are you saying you do?”
He wanted to say yes, but was afraid she wouldn’t believe him. “Can you at least believe I want more? Can you at least give it a chance, see if a relationship between the two of us could go anywhere?”
Walking at a snail’s pace now, they arrived at the Gentrys' and turned to face each other. He could see she was feeling something, and that was the key to most women, wasn’t it? That they felt something for a man?
He didn’t want to waste this opportunity. As he reached for her, he told himself all he wanted to do was change her mind, or at least give her something to think about.
She didn’t resist as he pulled her close, lowered his head, and kissed her gently.
His reaction was anything but gentle. The touch of her mouth, soft and pliant against his, left him astounded at the depth of feeling sweeping through him. He raised a hand to cup her cheek and the soft skin of her jaw, his thumb sweeping over her supple skin.
She had to feel something, didn’t she? The attraction and excitement? Maybe he needed to try harder? With a half-formed plan to kiss her senseless, he pulled her into his arms—
And the front door opened to reveal The Reverend Gentry, the light from within the house at his back, as he looked outside.
