He put his hands on her hips and eased her into a half-seated half-lying position. “I guess I’d have to be responsible for your sexual satisfaction.”
As he spoke he pressed a kiss to the inside of her right knee. Thin scar lines crisscrossed her skin. He followed the trail they made all the way up her thigh.
She sighed. “I guess you deserve a tryout.”
“Did I say I was applying?”
She raised her eyebrows. “Your position would say you were.”
“Yours would say you wanted me to.”
Her green eyes darkened. “You’re right.”
Their gazes locked. Blood heated and surged. It was all he could do to keep from unfastening his slacks, ripping off her panties and plunging home. But he’d given up one-sided sex about the time of his nineteenth birthday. These days he wanted his partner arriving at the finish line along with him. Which meant he had to get control.
Watching her watch him, he moved his hands up to her hips and hooked his fingers around her panties. Moving slowly, deliberately, he drew the scrap of silk down, down, down until he could peel it away. When she was bare, and still watching, he moved close and parted the slick, swollen folds of her feminine flesh. Then he opened his mouth and tasted her.
Paradise, he thought with the first flick of his tongue. His mind split neatly in two with one half wanting her climaxing so he could take his own release. The other half urged him to wait, to hold back, so he could taste and tease and pleasure her long into the night.
She groaned low in her throat and lightly touched his head. “I can’t believe how good that is,” she whispered. She pulled her knees back toward her chest. “Oh, Zane.”
It was as if he could read her mind, Nicki thought hazily. Maybe he could. That was the only explanation for how he knew to go faster, then slower. He touched her with an attention to detail that left her unable to do anything but respond.
Within a minute, she was shaking. Within two she was panting, begging and on the verge of climaxing. Within three minutes…
Tension grew and grew until there was nothing in Nicki’s world but the pleasure he created with his mouth and tongue and the ache filling her. She strained toward him, urging both of them on and found herself caught up in an orgasm that ripped through her like a hurricane.
Tossed, tumbled, set free and finally settling back onto the sofa, she needed a second to catch her breath. When she resurfaced, she found Zane staring at her intently. Need tightened his features, but smugness curved at the corners of his mouth.
“Not bad,” she murmured.
“You’re welcome to write a response card,” he teased. “All compliments welcome.”
She would have plenty of those. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to let go so easily. Even several minutes after the fact, tremors rippled through her body. Maybe because although he’d pleasured her, he still hadn’t claimed her.
She tugged on the sleeve of his shirt. “One of us is a little too formally dressed.”
She saw she didn’t have to ask him twice. The words had barely formed before he went to work on his shirt. His shoes, socks, slacks and boxer shorts followed until he was naked and very, very ready.
He bent over her, moving her gently, positioning her lower body so he could ease himself between her thighs. The sight of his arousal made her own need roar back to life and when he knelt on the sofa, she reached for him.
“Be in me,” she whispered.
He surged forward, filling her, stretching her, making her cry out in pleasure. His gaze locked with hers, allowing her to watch him take her.
His breathing increased with each stroke. He groaned her name over and over. The pace quickened and she felt herself losing control. Contractions rippled through her, making her cling to him, urging him on. He plunged inside of her, taking her to the edge, then flinging her out into the cosmos where she lost herself into glorious release before finding her way back.
When they had both recovered enough to breathe normally, Zane raised his head and smiled at her.
That was it. He didn’t say anything, he simply smiled. And she smiled back because this felt good—right. Something she would never have guessed.
Then he stood in all his naked glory, scooped her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.
When they were both under the covers he looped an arm around her and pulled her close.
“Good night, Nicki,” he mumbled.
Good night? He was staying? He never stayed. She knew that for a fact. He made it a point to cut and run after he’d had his good time. A thousand questions filled her mind, but before she could ask even one, she heard the quiet sigh that indicated he’d already fallen asleep.
She shifted so that she could study him in the dim light. She lightly traced the shape of his jaw, then pushed a lock of dark hair off his forehead.
The questions could wait, she told herself. For now this was enough. More than enough. It was more than she’d ever thought she would have.
Sunlight made a brutal alarm clock, Nicki thought the next morning when she opened her eyes and instantly had to squint. She started to turn to find out what time it was only to realize she was pinned under a strong, warm, heavy arm.
At that same moment, she realized she was naked, and that Zane was in her bed. Oh, and in case that wasn’t enough, they’d made love. Not just the one time on her sofa, but also later. Here. In her bed.
Second thoughts arrived and they brought friends. What had she been thinking? Making love with Zane? Was she insane? Wasn’t it bad enough that she had a completely foolish crush on him? Did she have to go and make it worse by bonding through intimate physical contact?
“I’m second cousin to the moron twins,” she murmured, wishing she could simply duck and run. Unfortunately escape wasn’t going to be that easy.
Her wheelchair was still in the living room. There weren’t even any braces close by. Which meant she had the choice of waiting for Zane to bring her the chair or she could roll out of bed and drag her naked self across the hardwood floor. Given the two choices, she decided to wait.
Unfortunately there was the pressing problem of embarrassment, regrets and a rapidly filling bladder.
“Morning, good-looking.”
She turned toward the voice and saw Zane was awake. Awake and smiling, which she couldn’t believe. Like he was happy. Like they hadn’t just made a huge mistake.
She offered a tight-lipped smile of her own. “Would you please get my chair and my bathrobe?”
“Sure thing.”
He dropped a kiss on her nose, then rose. Once standing, he stretched his arms toward the ceiling. Apparently the naked thing bothered her a whole lot more than it bothered him. Of course his body was damn near perfect, so why would he care if she was looking? And look she did. At the lean muscles, at the dusting of hair on his chest and legs, at the shape and size of his maleness, impressive even at rest.
When he turned to leave the room, she admired the curve of his rear and the way his legs moved so easily.
He returned with her chair. While he was in the closet getting her robe, she pushed herself into a sitting position. After putting on her robe, she started to move into the chair. Zane lifted her into place.
“I can do it myself,” she snapped.
He stepped back and raised his eyebrows. “I always thought you were a morning person.”
“I am.” She usually was. But this morning she felt out of sorts. Everything was confusing and more than a little scary.
“Come on,” he said, jerking his head toward the bathroom. “Let’s take a shower.”
She couldn’t believe it. “Together?”
“Sure. It’s a great way to start the day. You wash my back…” His voice trailed off as he winked.
Oddly enough the suggestion made her more sad than annoyed. Her body went on instant alert at the thought of her up close and naked with Zane. But even as she considered the possibility,
the logistics involved doused her like a face full of cold water.
Getting in the shower was more of a production for her than most people. She remained seated, she had special hold-bars and nonskid surfaces. Not the least bit sexy or appealing. She would imagine that Zane had pictured something along the lines of her up against a wall while he moved in and out of her, and that was so not going to happen.
“I have a lot to do today,” she said at last. “If you want to shower, that’s fine. There’s a guest bathroom down the hall.”
What she really meant was a regular bathroom. One that hadn’t been modified for her personal use.
His dark gaze never left her face. For a second she would have sworn she saw a flicker of hurt, but she dismissed the possibility and told herself he was as anxious to leave as she was to have him gone.
The thought tightened her throat. Everything was different. In one night, two years of friendship had been materially changed and she wasn’t sure she liked the differences. She felt awkward and vulnerable. And Zane…well, she didn’t know what he was feeling.
“No problem, Nicki,” he said and headed for the door. “I’ll get out of your way.”
She watched him walk out of the bedroom. Far more quickly than she could have imagined, he was back—fully dressed and acting as if nothing strange had happened.
“I’ll call you later,” he said as he bent down and lightly kissed her cheek.
She nodded because what she really wanted to say was that he didn’t have to bother, but she didn’t know how to speak the words without them coming out wrong. She wasn’t trying to be mean. Instead she wanted to tell Zane that he wasn’t obligated in any way. At least not to her.
He gave her a quick smile, a wave and then he was gone. As she sat in her chair, in her bedroom and stared at her rumpled bed, she heard footsteps, then the sound of the front door opening and closing.
Part of her wanted to call him back. Part of her never wanted to see him again, and most of her wanted to go back in time and rethink the decision to spend the night with him.
They were lovers now, at least they had been. But for how long, and what would happen when that part of their relationship ended? Zane didn’t do long-term and she didn’t do affairs. There was also the matter of their friendship and what impact this would have on that. Not to mention her feelings. How much had their intimacy caused her to bond with him?
Nicki sighed and headed for the bathroom. This situation was going to take a whole lot more than a shower and a couple of hours to figure out, but right now she didn’t have anything close to a better plan.
Chapter Five
Neither the shower nor time helped. By noon Nicki was restless and practically itching to do something—but what? Maybe it didn’t matter, she thought as she tried to concentrate on sorting laundry. Maybe she just needed to occupy her mind so she didn’t have so much time to think. Because she’d been thinking all morning and all she’d achieved was to give herself a massive headache as she wondered why on earth she’d slept with Zane.
Last night had been amazing. More than amazing. It wasn’t just that Zane knew his way around a woman’s body, although that was nice, too. It was that despite her limitations, she never once felt less than normal. He’d found positions that allowed her to move and be a part of things. He’d taken her suggestions and incorporated them into their lovemaking in such a way that she’d been able to lose herself in the experience of being with him.
He’d made her feel good—not just with an assortment of orgasms but by laughing with her and treating her like his best friend with whom he just happened to be having sex.
Just thinking about their night together made her long for him. Which terrified her. Longing wasn’t allowed. Longing implied a level of connection on her side of things that went way beyond her crush. She’d known from almost the first moment she’d met him that Zane wasn’t a forever kind of guy and her long-term goals included marriage and a family. If he wasn’t going to be a part of that, it was really dumb to waste her heart on him.
But could she choose who she cared about? It had been relatively easy to keep her feelings in check before, but what about now? And why didn’t Zane want more than a series of short-term flings? What was it about him or his past that caused him to walk away? And why on earth had she slept with him?
“Stop it,” she commanded herself. All this circular reasoning wasn’t accomplishing anything. Maybe she should go for a drive or something.
She rolled toward the front of the house where she kept her purse and her keys. As she passed through the living room, the phone rang.
Nicki froze. While there were several people who could be calling, she knew exactly who was on the other end of the line. The certainty made her hesitate before picking up the receiver. What finally got her moving was the reminder that she’d long ago learned there was no point in avoiding the inevitable. Putting it off only made it worse.
“Hello?”
“Hey, gorgeous,” Zane said, sounding cheerful and friendly. “How you doing?”
“I’m okay,” she said cautiously.
“Just okay? You should be wonderful. Last night was pretty great. I do have all that practice.”
His comments were no more outrageous than usual. In the context of their friendship, her move was to make some witty response that firmly put him in his place. Or if she was to go into lover mode, she would agree that last night had been wonderful and so was he. But she couldn’t seem to find any words and when she did, her mouth wasn’t working right.
He stepped into the silence. “I thought I’d swing by later and we’d go out.”
That single sentence was almost as stunning as the previous night. “What?”
“Catch a movie, have some dinner. You’ll need to drive because I had to return Ashley’s SUV, but I’m tolerant of your feminine inadequacies behind the wheel so don’t sweat it.”
Dinner and a movie? Like a date? Was he kidding?
“I don’t understand,” she told him.
He sighed theatrically. “I’ll speak more slowly then,” he said as he demonstrated by leaving a noticeable pause between the words. “It’s the weekend. We should go out and have fun.”
Nicki closed her eyes. Her chest felt tight and she wasn’t sure why. Suddenly everything hurt, most especially her heart. If she gave into the feeling, she could be in tears in less than a minute.
He was asking her out. She didn’t know what it meant, but there was no way she trusted him. Or what he was doing. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to yell at herself. Neither made sense.
“Nicki?”
“I’m here,” she murmured.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
Everything. He wanted to make plans. She thought of her laundry piles and the fact that she had to call Boyd and break things off officially. Not that he was going to be heartbroken. Based on how he’d been canceling dates lately, he’d been having some second thoughts of his own.
But with Boyd there had been possibilities. Promise. And with Zane there was nothing.
“I can’t,” she told him. “I have things I need to get done. But thanks for asking.”
Then, before he could say anything else, she hung up and started to cry.
Zane stared at the phone and wondered what the hell had just happened. Obviously Nicki was upset, but why? She’d enjoyed last night. Every time he’d reached for her, she’d been wet, willing and doing her own fair share of grabbing. They’d made love into the hours before dawn, then had slept entwined. He didn’t usually like to spend the night, but with Nicki it had felt right. There hadn’t been any sense of being trapped by expectations.
So what was up with her this morning? His first instinct was to go see her and demand an explanation. But he was unsure of his welcome—something that had never happened before with Nicki. He didn’t like it.
Restlessness stirred him. He wanted to run. Literally.
H
e moved through the living room to the bedroom and emerged a couple of minutes later in shorts, running shoes and an old T-shirt. A minutes after that, he was out the door, so he wasn’t around when the phone began to ring.
Nicki knew she was slime. Maybe even worse than that. Whatever had happened between Zane and herself, she didn’t have the right to blow him off when he called. She’d been raised better than that and certainly considered herself a nicer person than she’d shown by her behavior. More importantly, he was her friend and she’d treated him badly. An apology was in order, which explained why she was now navigating a part of the city that made her uncomfortable…the marina.
Zane lived on a houseboat in a neighborhood made famous by the movie Sleepless in Seattle. His houseboat sat along a dock in Lake Union. She’d been to the two-story home a couple of times before and each time had been reminded that this area was not wheelchair-friendly.
The ramp down to the dock had crossbars every couple of feet. She understood the purpose was to keep people from slipping when the ramp was wet—something that happened frequently in the Seattle rain. But each bump meant slow going for her. The railing looking sturdy enough, but was at such a height that if she fell out of her wheelchair, she would slip between the rails and fall into the chilly lake below.
Once she reached boat level, there was the dock movement to contend with, followed by an impossibly high step entrance onto Zane’s houseboat. Which meant she couldn’t roll up to the door and knock. Instead she was forced to pause on the dock and call him from her cell phone.
“It’s me,” she said when he picked up. “I’m right outside your front door.”
Seconds later the door in question opened and Zane stepped out into the afternoon sunlight.
He looked good, she thought as her stomach clenched and her heart rate increased. Too good. Clean shaven, freshly showered and just a little wary. She couldn’t blame him for the latter, even though it made her feel like slime.
“What’s up?” he asked as he approached.
She managed a smile. “The four most horrible words known to your gender. We have to talk.”
A Little Bit Pregnant Page 6
