“Not if we tell him why.”
She grimaced. “I don’t think I want to have that conversation.” She looked at him. “This could be very weird.”
He winked. “Yeah, but I get to see you naked.”
He waited for her remind him they were just friends and that nothing was going to happen. Instead she rubbed her hands against the wheels of her chair.
“I don’t want you seeing me like that to change anything.”
He stared at her, at her big green eyes and the slight quiver of her mouth. He’d seen Nicki gloating, laughing, angry and wild with passion, but he couldn’t remember ever seeing her vulnerable before. Something inside of his chest tightened.
He leaned close and touched her cheek. “I have always admired you. Nothing about that is going to change. I swear.”
She swallowed. “If you’re lying, I’ll run you over.”
He grinned. “It’s a deal.”
They returned to the front desk where the young woman was delighted to give them a large two bedroom suite. A bellman took up their luggage, and Zane and Nicki followed.
The suite was on a high floor, with huge windows and a north-facing view. Several Oriental rugs covered a marble floor. Sofas and chairs formed conversation groups, while a black lacquered table and chairs sat up on a dais by the window.
Nicki glanced around the room. “The rugs will have to go,” she said.
The bellman pulled a small notepad out of his pocket and wrote down the instruction. “Anything else?” he asked.
She wheeled through the room and pointed to an end table, a small desk and two chairs. From there she went into the master bedroom.
Zane ducked into the second bedroom which was nice, but not nearly as opulent as the living area. He checked out the bathroom and bedroom, then walked into the master.
The bed was on a platform, but there was plenty of open floor space. He found Nicki in the bathroom. Again there was plenty of room for her to maneuver around. The large glass shower had a built in bench.
“I’ll take the other bedroom,” he said. “You’ll be able to get around in this one.”
She hesitated, as if she were going to protest, then nodded. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
She had the bellman take up the small rugs in the bathroom, then returned to the living area.
Two men had already arrived and were removing the unwanted furniture. When they’d finished, Zane glanced at his watch.
“Let’s order room service and then unpack,” he said.
“Okay.”
She picked a salad off the menu. Trying not to gag at the thought of lettuce for lunch, he ordered her meal, then got a burger for himself, with extra fries because he knew she would be stealing his. Then he carried her suitcase into the master bedroom and set it on the bed.
He’d already seen the closet so he knew there was no way she could reach up and hang her own clothes.
“Tell me what you want where,” he said as he flipped open the top of the case.
She had him hang her two suits and blouses, then put lingerie, a nightgown and stockings in a drawer.
She didn’t look at him as she spoke and he could tell she wasn’t happy about the situation.
He dropped to his knees in front of her and took both her hands in his. “I don’t know how to make this better for you,” he said.
“That’s not your job.”
“Sure it is. We’re friends.” He squeezed her fingers. “Nicki, you’re damned independent most of the time, which is all any of us ever get to say. Sometimes we need a little extra help.”
“I know that in my head, but it still bugs me. I don’t like you doing all this extra work.”
“I know how you can repay me.”
Her expression turned wary. “How?” she asked cautiously.
“Let me rub your panties all over my body.”
She jerked her hands free of his. “That’s too disgusting for words.”
He grinned. “I’d let you watch.”
“Don’t even think about it.”
Now that her good humor had been restored, he told her the truth.
“I think you’re amazing,” he said quietly. “You’re smart, beautiful and not half-bad in bed.”
She smiled. “Gee, thanks.”
“None of that is about you being in the chair. I don’t mind helping out. You’d take care of me if the tables were turned.”
“I know, but they aren’t. Nor are they likely to be.”
“Next time I have the flu I’ll call you over to fix me soup.”
“Actually you’d have to come stay at my place.”
“Even better.” He winked. “You can give me lots of sponge baths.”
She rolled her eyes. “Is everything about getting naked with you?”
“Pretty much.”
“That is just so typical.”
“Can I help it if women find me irresistible?”
“Not all women.”
“Enough do.”
He wanted to tell her that she was one of them but didn’t want to hear her say she wasn’t. After all, Nicki had been the one to put the brakes on their physical relationship, not him.
“Thanks,” she said, squeezing his fingers. “For all of this. And for making it easy. Now why don’t you go unpack before our lunch gets here? Did you order extra fries?”
“Of course.”
“Good.”
She smiled.
For a second they just looked at each other. Something hot and bright flared between them. Zane thought about leaning close and kissing her—for two reasons. Because he wanted to and because at that moment he knew she would kiss him back. But he didn’t. There was a fragile peace between them that he didn’t want to shatter. For reasons he couldn’t explain, having Nicki need him was somehow more important than having Nicki want him.
Chapter Eight
“Nicole,” Mr. Sabotini said at the end of their meeting. “I want your promise that you’ll be serving as, how do you say, backup?”
She smiled. “I’ll be there making sure they get it right.”
“Excellent.”
He took her hand and lightly kissed her knuckles. “You have impressed me.”
Okay, so the man was smooth and probably only meant about thirty percent of what he said, but Nicki didn’t care. She liked hearing the flattery and the compliments. After all, how often did an elegantly dressed Italian man stare adoringly at her? She couldn’t think of a single incident.
“You’ve made the right choice with our firm,” she said as she disentangled her hand. Flattery was one thing, but while Mr. Sabotini might not be thinking of his wife, Nicki was very clear on her existence.
Zane stood and collected their files. “I’ll phone the office and have the contracts drawn up.”
Mr. Sabotini rose. “I would like the team in place as soon as possible.”
“We’ll overnight the contracts. Once you sign them and provide the retainer, we’ll move into place.” Zane shook the man’s hand. “Two of our best child-protection agents have just finished an assignment. They’re already making arrangements to fly to Italy.”
“Good. I worry about my boys.” He smiled at Zane, then turned to her. “Nicole. You must tell me the next time you visit Italy.”
“You’ll be the first,” she murmured, then wheeled toward the exit.
They left the spacious suite only two floors above their own and headed for the elevators.
“That went well,” she said.
Zane chuckled. “Yeah. I want to say we sold him on our reputation and the quality of our bodyguards, but I think your legs were a good part of the appeal.”
“He was being polite.”
“He was drooling.”
She smiled. “Mr. Sabotini likes women. As I was the only female in the room, I received all of his attention.”
Zane shook his head. “Sorry kid, but you don’t get off that easily. I think there cou
ld have been ten women in the room and he still would have focused on you. I couldn’t decide if I should offer to leave you two alone or take him out back and beat the crap out of him.”
She would love to think that Zane was jealous but her imagination wasn’t that good. Their client’s attention had been just the ego boost she needed and she refused to apologize for that.
They reached the elevator lobby, but instead of pushing the down button, Zane pushed up.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To the rooftop restaurant. I made reservations for us so we would have somewhere to celebrate.”
“And if we hadn’t closed the deal?”
“Hot dogs and beer.”
She was still laughing when the elevator arrived.
The rooftop restaurant offered a gorgeous view. It was clear in Los Angeles, warm, with a soft breeze. To the west, the sun slipped toward the horizon.
She was shown to a table on the edge of the patio. Several tall potted trees provided privacy, while a tall gas heater stood by in case the evening became chilly.
The waiter had already whisked away a chair, so Nicki was able to glide into place. She placed her napkin on her lap then picked up the menu. Zane was still by the front podium, calling Jeff to let him know what happened.
“I told him we want a raise,” he said as he approached a few minutes later. “And that we were brilliant. Mostly me, of course, but I gave you some of the credit.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“No problem.” He pulled out a chair and sank down on the seat. “So what looks good?”
They discussed various menu choices, had a conversation with the waiter about wine, then picked entrées and a bottle of cabernet sauvignon.
“The only thing that would make this day any better would be you telling me you want me to run you a bath later,” Zane said with a grin.
Nicki knew he was kidding, or at least teasing. And she really appreciated his help while they were staying at the hotel. But she couldn’t help wishing—just for a second—that she didn’t need it.
“What?” he asked, leaning toward her. “You got quiet and sad.”
She shook her head. “I’m being silly.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
She debated changing the subject versus telling the truth. Funny how of all the people she knew in the world, outside of her parents, he was the only one she could imagine confiding in.
“Sometimes the limitations get me down,” she admitted. “I try not to go there and most of the time I succeed, but every now and then…” Her voice trailed off.
“Like when you have to maneuver through strange hotel rooms?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged. “Plus I hate you seeing that I’m not perfect.”
He grinned. “Nicki, I’ve never once thought of you as perfect, so this isn’t a revelation for me.”
She chuckled. “You know what I mean.”
“I do. You’re not in control and no one likes that. You weren’t born this way. You can remember what it was like not to deal with the chair.” He glanced around as if making sure they were alone. “If you ever repeat this, I’ll deny saying it, but I think you’re a hell of a woman.”
The combination of sincerity and teasing nearly brought tears to her eyes. Trust Zane to get it exactly right.
“You always make me feel good about myself.”
He nodded. “I’m a pretty spectacular guy. And modest.”
“Especially modest.” She touched his hand. “I could have used someone like you around when I first had my accident.”
“You were what, fourteen?”
She nodded. “We were on a skiing vacation over the holidays. Neither of my parents had any family and before I was born they’d gotten in the habit of traveling over Christmas. When I came along, they kept up the tradition.”
She smiled as she remembered how happy those trips had been. “No matter where we were, they always made Christmas special.”
She’d been a miracle baby, born three days after her mother’s fortieth birthday. Her mother had always joked that if she’d received Nicki for turning forty that she couldn’t wait to see what fifty would bring.
“The resort had dug out a couple of trees that had been knocked over by high winds, but they hadn’t gotten around to filling in the holes. Whatever signs they’d put out had disappeared. I came tearing down the mountain right into a ten-foot pit.”
Zane winced. “That had to hurt.”
“I don’t know. I hit my head, so I was unconscious until we got to the hospital. By then I was in shock and spacing out. It took a couple of days and two surgeries before I knew what was going on.”
The waiter appeared with their bottle of wine. While he opened it, someone else brought bread and their salads.
Zane tasted the wine and nodded his approval. When they were alone, he raised his glass to her.
“To staying strong,” he said.
She nodded and sipped.
“After a few days my parents were told my left leg would never heal right. There were too many breaks and there was no way to put it all together. I was okay with that. I figured I could survive a limp.”
Zane didn’t think he would have survived the same experience with Nicki’s faith in life and good spirits.
“Then you came down with the bone infection,” he said.
“Exactly. That was tough. They had to open me up again, scrape stuff out. I was on so many antibiotics I practically glowed. My parents were frantic with worry.”
“You pulled through.”
“But the bone was weakened forever.” She picked up her fork. “I went into physical therapy. Once there I learned I wouldn’t be walking again. Not without braces and a walker. It was a real downtime. I thought…” She glanced at him, then away. “I really thought about killing myself.”
“Makes sense.”
She looked surprised. “But that’s the easy way out.”
“Nicki, you were what, fifteen? Your entire life had been shattered. Of course you’d think of ending it all. Who wouldn’t?”
“I thought everyone else would be stronger than me. I’ve dealt with a lot of guilt over my plan.” She smiled slightly. “I have to say being underage and in a wheelchair made the ‘how’ pretty difficult. Then one night while I was sitting alone in my room, I heard a voice.”
He stared at her. “What kind?”
“I don’t know. It was in my head. I’d never heard it before or since. It wasn’t my voice or my folks. It wasn’t anyone I knew. But it told me I was an idiot. I had parents who loved me, unlimited opportunity and if I ended my life over something as foolish as not being able to walk then I was too stupid to live anyway.”
She shrugged. “I figured if I was hearing voices, I’d better listen.”
Over the past couple of years he’d learned various details about her injuries and subsequent recovery, but he’d never heard this.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I made the decision to get over myself. I threw myself into physical therapy and went back to school. Once I figured out I could still play sports and have a life, I did the best I could and never looked back.”
“Any more voices?”
“Not even one.” She took a bite of her salad and chewed. “Once I accepted myself, I found all my friends were more than ready to accept me.”
“I’ll bet.” He imagined a sixteen-year-old Nicki. “You broke hearts on a weekly basis.”
“I don’t know about that, but I did have boyfriends. I told you before that I wore my braces to the prom so I could slow dance.”
He didn’t want to think about that—about some high school senior carrying her out to the dance floor and holding her close.
Crazy to be jealous of a ghost, he told himself. Maybe if he didn’t still want her, he wouldn’t mind so much.
“You showed them all,” he said. “Even yourself.”
“I learned I’m a survivor.
I think that’s an important lesson.”
He agreed. But Nicki had done more than survive. She’d thrived.
“Have you—”
But whatever he’d been about to say got lost when he looked up and saw her watching him. There was something in her eyes, something bright and hot and passionate.
Heat exploded inside of him. In less than two seconds he went from interested to hard. His chest tightened, his hands curled into fists and damn it all to hell, he couldn’t seem to catch his breath.
“You said friends,” he reminded her when he could finally speak.
“I know.”
Her voice, more murmur than whisper, made him think of being naked with her. Of tangled sheets and soft cries and the thrill of pleasing her.
He wanted to tell her they couldn’t do this. That he understood her reasons for wanting them to be only friends and he respected them. But he couldn’t seem to say the words. Maybe he just didn’t want to.
“I know I’m changing the rules,” she said. “Is that okay?”
He managed a smile. “You think I’m going to tell you no?”
She smiled. “Then I guess we should get dinner to go.”
It took a few minutes to settle things with the waiter and collect their take-out boxes. Nicki tried to keep her mind perfectly blank because if she thought too much about what she’d said, about what they were going to do, she would start to hyperventilate.
She knew this was crazy, that she was crazy. She had very logical, sensible reasons for keeping things on a “friend’s only” footing with Zane. She didn’t want to get her heart broken, she didn’t want to lose him. She wanted to be free to fall for someone else and get started on her happily ever after. But she couldn’t seem to not want him.
She’d just told him her deepest darkest secrets and instead of running for the hills, he’d looked at her as if she were his hero. How was she supposed to resist that? Plus he’d been so sweet about them sharing a room. He’d made jokes and gone out of his way to make her feel special and normal. That all combined with spending time alone with him had apparently undone her good intentions, leaving her little more than a liquid puddle of longing.
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